


Under the Lychee Tree

by Ekhwanders



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Flash Forward, Flashbacks, Well it WAS canon compliant, though I'm not touching the shark attack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:34:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 122,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28584321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ekhwanders/pseuds/Ekhwanders
Summary: What happens after Shelby says she's sure.
Relationships: Fatin/?, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 966
Kudos: 1515





	1. Chapter 1

Shelby sat with her knees tucked up under her chin, fiddling with the cross necklace chained to her watching Toni sleep. She liked watching Toni sleep. Not in a weird way, but she liked how peaceful Toni looked, like they hadn’t just been in a plane crash and like they probably wouldn’t die on a deserted island. Shelby was feeling anything but peace herself, but it was reassuring to see Toni so calm and serene. The other young woman was beautiful, and for the first time, Shelby just let herself look at her, really take in just how beautiful she truly was. 

Toni’s face was dotted with freckles, her recently earned sunburn was transitioning into a beautiful tan that Shelby knew would never come for her, she would burn and peel and burn and peel until they died here, she supposed. Toni’s thick curly hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, a few bits of leaves and debris tangled in it, undoubtedly from the evening before. Shelby let her thoughts drift back, she blushed, trying to not let her thoughts linger any longer than she could help it. She bit her bottom lip fighting a smile, not wanting to allow herself a smile. 

_“Are you sure?” Toni’s eyes searched Shelby’s for an answer._

_Shelby kissed her again, letting her forehead rest on Toni’s when they broke, “I’m sure.” Shelby said with such conviction, Toni knew she wouldn’t need to ask again._

_They pulled each other in for a desperate kiss. Shelby didn’t want to think about anything any more. Not about God, not about Becca, not about her parents, not about her own conflictions, not even about the plane wreck that put the two of them on this island in the first place, she just wanted to be in this moment with Toni. She let her hands wander down Toni’s sides and slip under the hem of her red tank top, lifting it up and over the shorter girl’s head. Without letting herself hesitate or second guess, she pulled her own yellow shirt off and cast it aside._

_Toni kissed her again, unable to get enough, her hands holding Shelby’s waist. She didn’t want to rush her at all, she knew she had been struggling with this for some time, clearly not just here on the island, but her whole life. The last thing she wanted to do was too much all at once, so she held her firmly and kissed fully and deeply, their mouths exploring one another._

_Shelby pulled Toni’s face tighter to her own, her tongue exploring Toni’s mouth. Toni’s grip tightened ever so slightly and Shelby moaned softly under the pressure on her waist. That moan was the last piece of kindling Toni needed to ignite her fire and let go of any reservations she might have had, she backed them up against the lychee tree and let her hands drift up Shelby’s front. Toni moved her mouth, leaving a trail of kisses down to the pulse point on Shelby’s neck._

_Shelby leaned her head back against the tree, reveling in each sensation, wanting to give Toni all the room to explore. Toni cupped her breast with her left hand, squeezing at the same time as biting Shelby’s neck, not too hard to leave a mark, but enough that Shelby let out a gasp. “Too much?” Toni whispered, her voice even lower and even huskier than normal._

_“No.” Shelby whispered back, her voice uneven and unsteady._

_Toni slid her left hand up under Shelby’s bra, massaging her breast, feeling Shelby’s nipple stiffen under the palm of her hand. Toni groaned into Shelby’s neck, biting just the slightest bit harder._

_Shelby was lost under Toni’s touch. No one had ever explored her body like this, not Andrew, no one before him, not even Shelby herself. She gasped again when Toni rolled her hard nipple between her pointer finger and thumb, her whole body grinding into Toni’s front. Toni's eyes found Shelby’s again, searching for any sign of hesitation. When she found none, she lifted Shelby’s bra up over her head, her hand quickly going back to Shelby’s now exposed breasts._

_Toni kissed down Shelby’s neck, Shelby tasted like fresh sweat and summertime a salty heavenly mixture Toni couldn’t get enough of. Toni circled Shelby’s nipple with her tongue before sucking it into her mouth. She had Shelby braced securely against the tree, her leg sliding in between Shelby’s creating friction where Shelby needed it the most._

_Shelby was having a hard time remembering to breathe. She had never felt so much pleasure all at once and was starting to worry she was going to fall over, despite the sturdiness of the tree, her knees were getting weaker by the second, and the moment Toni’s tigh slid between her own, her whole body rocked into it in a way she had never imagined. Her nails dug into Toni’s shoulders. “I need more of you.” She gasped._

_Toni kissed her way back up Shelby’s chest to her neck, making a mental note of every inch of Shelby that elicited a stronger response. She sucked on Shelby’s earlobe, causing Shelby to squeeze her back even tighter. “Okay,” Toni said back, her breathing heavy in Shelby’s ear. “Want to take this to the ground?” Toni locked eyes with Shelby a goofy grin locked in place._

_Shelby frowned and bit her bottom lip to keep from smiling, “really?”_

_Toni let out a laugh, “well, yeah. You know in movies when they’re like, want to move this to the bed? But there’s no bed.” She chuckled again, a blush creeping over her face realizing her joke might have been even lamer than intended._

_Shelby kissed her gently and briefly, “yes,” Shelby laughed, too, “I would like to take this to the ground.”_

Toni stirred in her sleep breaking Shelby from her thoughts of the evening before. She was still tugging on the cross around her neck. Her thoughts were racing, she had this heavy guilt, this weight in her stomach that was starting to make her nauseous. It wasn’t just that she had had pre-marital sex, and it wasn’t even that it was with a woman, she just kept replaying her last words to Becca over and over again. And now, now on a deserted island, she had given in to her desires and let herself feel pleasure and she couldn’t stop thinking about how Becca had killed herself. Shelby’s eyes filled with tears. She knew, rationally, that she hadn’t taken Becca’s life, but the weight sitting on her chest made her feel like she had. 

Her eyes fluttered over to Toni, she wondered how the woman sleeping peacefully near her would feel about her if she knew what she had said to Becca. How she had blamed her for everything, how she had been so downright cruel. She squeezed the cross between her fingers again, she wondered if God would ever forgive her for Becca, if he would ever forgive her for lies that had resulted in the death of her best friend. She wondered that, if he could forgive her for that, could he then forgive her for being a homosexual, because after last night, she couldn’t bring herself to pretend she was anything but a lesbian. She ran her fingers through her hair, nervous energy flowing through her, her thoughts drifted again to the evening before.  


_They laid next to each other there in the dirt at the base of the lychee tree, both propped up on their elbows kissing passionately. Toni’s hands slid smoothly down Shelby’s side, coming to rest on her hip. For the first time since laying down, Shelby let her hand leave Toni’s face. Her fingertips fluttered over Toni’s abs, made more defined by their recent lack of food and constant strenuous activities. Her hands skipped over Toni’s bra, unsure of how to touch her, nervous that she would squeeze too tightly or roughly. She traced from her collarbone down to the seam at the top of her bra with her fingertips, reveling in the way Toni melted under her touch._

_Toni broke their kiss, “bra off?” She asked, sounding out of breath. Shelby licked her lips, her eyes flashing down to Toni’s chest. She felt herself blush an even deeper shade of red. She wanted Toni’s bra off, she wanted to see her, she was glad she was laying down already for fear of falling if she wasn’t. She nodded nervously. Toni pulled her bra up over her head. Shelby bit her bottom lip, trying to keep from blatantly staring. Toni cupped her cheek, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she did so. “You can look.” She whispered, swallowing nervously after she spoke.  
Shelby’s green eyes flashed down immediately. She reached out with her hand but didn’t make contact, she pulled back. Toni watched Shelby closely, watching the desire burn in her beautiful emerald eyes. Toni reached out and caught Shelby’s hand, she placed Shelby’s palm on her breast and scooted closer to her, their bodies now touching from the waist down. Shelby had stopped breathing completely. Toni, despite being solid muscle at this point, was somehow the softest thing in the world she had ever touched. She squeezed gently, her eyes searching Toni’s for any signal that something was wrong, instead, Toni inhaled a sharp quick inhale, her mouth falling open with pleasure. _

_Shelby kissed her, her tongue playing across Toni’s bottom lip, her hand squeezing her breast again. Toni moaned into her mouth, her own hand sliding down to the waistband of Shelby’s khaki shorts. Toni sat up to unbutton them, her tongue poking out in concentration. Shelby smiled as she watched her, Toni’s face beautiful and concentrated. When her shorts were unbuttoned and unzipped, she lifted her hips, giving Toni access to pull the khaki shorts down to her ankles, helping her kick them off the rest of the way._

_Toni’s light brown eyes raked across Shelby’s body surveying every inch of her hungrily, Shelby could feel the heat radiating off her own face. She knew she’d be as red as Toni’s tank top all the way over her chest she was so filled with desire. She could see that same fire burning as plain as day in Toni’s eyes.  
_

_“Are you really in a black thong right now?” Toni asked, a mischievous smile pulled at the corners of her lips.  
Shelby blushed an even deeper shade of red, “to be fair, I didn’t know we were going to be in a plane crash when I picked these. I thought we’d be on a beach in Hawaii for a girls retreat, and I hate panty lines in my yoga pants.” She covered her face, embarrassed.  
Toni laughed, a full hearty laugh, she playfully tugged Shelby’s hands back down, not letting her hide away. Her eyes fell back to Shelby’s body and she couldn’t help but blush even deeper as she took all of Shelby in, she was suddenly serious, “you’re like, insanely beautiful,” she whispered, her voice raspier than normal.  
_

_Shelby smiled at her, a full genuine smile. “Thank you,” she whispered back. For the first time in her life, she truly felt beautiful. Toni let her hand slide down Shelby’s hip, exploring all the way down to the back of her knee before sliding back up, she squeezed her ass gently, her eyes quickly finding Shelby’s to make sure that was okay. Toni smiled when she could see just how much Shelby was enjoying herself.  
_

_Toni kissed her again, slowly pushing her onto her back and rolling on top of her. Shelby moaned softly at the pleasant feeling of Toni’s weight on her. Toni straddled her, kissing her deeply. Shelby let her hands drift up Toni’s chest, squeezing both her breasts at once. Toni hummed with pleasure. She kissed a line down the center of Shelby’s chest and down her stomach, letting her tongue dip into her belly button. She paused at the top edge of Shelby’s thong, her eyes looking up waiting for Shelby’s consent. Shelby nodded and lifted her hips again so that Toni could remove her last piece of clothing.  
_

Shelby looked over to Toni, wanting desperately to just go lay next to her, wrap her in her arms and kiss her awake. She let her mind wander to places off the island, five years from now in a small, but homey apartment in some big city where she and Toni could live. She shook the thoughts out of her head. She didn’t even know Toni. How had she let herself stray so far? Sure, Toni was beautiful, and passionate, and clearly a good friend--if you could ever make it through her walls--but if Shelby really thought about it, she didn’t know any facts about her. She didn’t know her last name or if she even had a middle name, she didn’t know her birthday, or what her favorite color was. She knew all those things about Andrew, she knew Andrew’s family and what kind of life she would have with him--a big house straight out of college, four kids, and a dog, and it was everything she had always wanted and now… now she was picturing a small apartment with someone who until very recently had been rude to her? Shelby sighed heavily. She knew in her heart she already felt more for Toni than she ever did for Andrew, she already wanted to know more about Toni, who she was and why she was like she was than she ever would any boy she ever met. She closed her eyes fighting back tears.  


Why did this have to be wrong? Why did wanting to feel the way she felt just a few hours ago mean she had to spend eternity in hell? If Toni was there with her it might not be such a bad thing, she chuckled to herself, wondering for the thousandth time if she was already there, if this Island was actually hell. 

Shelby wanted to pray, pray for her soul and all the other girls there with her, but after last night, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She felt disconnected somehow, for the first time in her life she was questioning everything her father had ever instilled in her. How could last night have been wrong, when every bit of it had felt so right? Last night. Shit. It was the next morning. What would they tell the other girls? 

They all knew Toni was a lesbian. Would they assume? Martha was Toni’s best friend, would Toni tell her? Would she even have to? Or would Martha just guess? She wished she had a mirror to see if there were any bite marks along her neck, she wouldn’t have been surprised if there had been multiple. She wasn’t ready for everyone to know, she was barely facing herself with who she was, she didn’t need questions or accusations from the others. They all hated her anyways for how she had reacted to Toni around the fire that day. God, she wanted to talk to Toni, to hear what she had to say, to see if she was just as nervous. The group all thought Toni hated Shelby, would they judge her for last night, too? She wondered then if Toni hated herself for letting last night happen. What if Toni had just slept with her because there was no one else on the island to sleep with. What if she didn’t have feelings for her at all? What if Shelby was just some notch on her belt, some never have I ever type anecdote for her future? Never have I ever had sex in the woods, never have I ever fucked a beauty queen, never have I ever fucked someone so homophobic they practically had a panic attack the morning after. Shelby wanted to get up and pace, but she didn’t want to disturb Toni. Toni wouldn’t be like that, she thought, she couldn’t be not after… not after how tender she had been, how nervous. Shelby thought back to the evening before.  


_“Yours too?” Shelby had asked, tugging on the waistband of Toni’s joggers, her voice barely recognizable it was so thick with desire.  
Toni smiled at her and nodded, kicking her shoes off and shimmying out of her pants. She had given up on underwear a few days ago, so this one quick movement had left her completely exposed as well. She bit her bottom lip and looked at Shelby, painfully aware of just how beautiful the woman was naked next to her, hoping that this wasn’t all too much for her, hoping that she wouldn’t find her undesirable. Toni swallowed nervously as Shelby’s eyes drifted down her body. If Toni had known this was going to happen, she would have taken a waterfall shower before starting their hike. She was suddenly very aware of every spec of dirt on her.  
_

_Shelby could sense Toni’s nerves and that melted her heart. Toni, the cockiest, proudest girl in the bunch was nervous in front of her. Shelby reached up and cupped Toni’s cheek, “you’re breathtaking.” Her eyes flashed back down Toni’s body, trying to memorize every inch of her.  
Toni kissed her then, a kiss unlike any Shelby had ever experienced, it was filled with passion and a desire much much deeper. Their bare bodies touched for the first time, filling Shelby with a current of electricity, she wanted more, to be even closer somehow to Toni than just skin to skin. Toni’s leg slid down between Shelby’s making the slightest contact with Shelby’s most sensitive spot. Shelby gasped, never having had experienced this kind of pleasure from someone else before, she hadn’t realized what the slightest touch would do to her. She pulled Toni tighter to her, her body rising to create more of the delicious friction she had felt just seconds ago.  
_

_Toni didn’t need a second signal, Shelby grinding into her had told her all she needed to know. Toni thrust her hips into Shelby, trying to find a rhythm they could both hold. They moved together desperately, both craving more. Shelby could feel how wet Toni was as she bucked against her thigh, trying to find any way she could to make more contact. Toni slid a hand down in between them, pausing with her palm flat against Shelby’s abs. She broke their kiss, her breathing heavy and jagged like she’d never catch her breath and like she never wanted too. She rested her forehead against Shelby’s, knowing, waiting.  
_

_“Yes,” Shelby whispered, answering the question Toni had left unasked, lifting her hips up to meet Toni’s fingers as they dipped lower through her slick wet heat.  
_

Toni’s eyes fluttered open. Based off of how bright it was, she guessed that it was already midmorning. “Hey, you’re awake,” Shelby said from behind her. Toni quickly saw that she was under the lychee tree, meaning that everything from the night before hadn’t just been a really good dream, but entirely real.  


Um, barely. I’m a slow starter.” Toni responded, sitting up. She looked at Shelby, quickly assessing that something was wrong. She had seemed so sure the night before, but now she looked shell shocked, practically rocking back and forth, hugging her knees fidgeting with her cross. “Hey, you doing okay?” Her question was soft, full of concern.  


Shelby shook her head, no. “I’m doing real good,” she said, letting go of her cross for the first time all morning.  


“It’s okay if you’re not, you know?” Toni said, fully aware of how much this was something Shelby had been struggling with for who knows how long. “If you’re a little iffy, I get it--”  


Shelby turtled all the way in, trying to make herself as small as possible, “Oh, God, oh God, stop stop stop stop stop,” Shelby groaned, she forced herself to sit up straight, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at Toni, she couldn’t bring herself to tell her everything yet. Everything about Becca, everything about her past, she had figured by the few times it had been mentioned that Toni wasn’t a religious person and she knew that Toni was a proud person, how was she ever going to articulate all of the feelings she was feeling. And then on top of that all she wanted was to let herself revel in this happy moment with her, after such a beautiful evening together. “I guess I’m not ready to talk about it just yet and not because I didn’t…” She forced herself to look at Toni. Toni’s worried face made her heart beat faster, she smiled, “because I did… like it.”  


“Shelby… it’s cool.” Toni said. She had no idea what all Shelby was thinking, but she didn’t want to pressure her into sharing more than she was ready to share. She felt like she needed to give Shelby an out for this conversation, an escape, so she looked around for her socks and shoes and started pulling them on.  


Shelby’s heart sank, taking Toni’s coolness as a lack in her caring. She fidgeted with the straps on Martha’s sandals. “Uh… so I was thinking, we should probably get our story straight about where we were last night. Not that I’m ashamed because I am N-O-T, not.”  


Toni smiled softly, not wanting Shelby to think that she would ever go back to the group and start telling people, “whatever you want to say, I’ll cosign.”  


Shelby looked at her in disbelief, “Lord, you are like… beyond calm right now. If I’m being honest, it’s a little unnerving.”  


Toni stood and started to pick the lychee fruit from the tree above them, “why?” she asked with a playful smile, “because normally my vibe is going ape shit?” She chuckled and turned back to the tree, “yeah, I guess I’m having an off day.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Shelby watched in disbelief as Toni started filling her sling swag bag with as many of the Lychee berries as she possibly could. Toni picked a particularly ripe looking berry and held it out to Shelby. “Hungy?” She asked. 

Shelby stood and took the berry, peeling before eating it. “Thanks,” she said. Her voice soft, her thoughts consumed by this weird calmness that had come over Toni. 

“You’re welcome.” Toni said with a small smile as she went back to filling her bag with as many berries as it could hold. 

Shelby decided to do the same, doing her best to push her wandering thoughts aside, wondering how someone so warm and passionate all evening long could be so cold and calculated just hours later. She pulled the hem of her shirt out and started dropping the berries in. The silence between them felt heavy, tense in a different way than the night before, tense for all the things Shelby felt like she needed to say.

Toni could feel the stress radiating off Shelby and she didn’t really know what to do to help. She felt like the best thing she could possibly do would be to distract her, she grinned at her, a goofy smile that only Shelby seemed to be able to produce on this godforsaken island. “Want to play an ice breaker?”

Shelby groaned, “Y’all are never going to let me live that down are you?” 

Toni laughed, “no, no we’re not. But seriously, want to play something?”

“Not never have I ever.” Shelby said, realizing all the things she would have to drink for now. 

Toni got quiet, thinking, wondering if maybe her suggestion was a bad idea. She hadn’t thought about the fact that Shelby was no longer “little miss innocent.” She quickly glanced at Shelby, she had been so confident the night before, so sure, and now she seemed small, deflated. Her heart ached for the other girl. She wanted to drop all the lychee berries she had just picked and wrap her up in a really big hug. 

Shelby watched as Toni’s nimble fingers plucked the berries from the tree, her thoughts drifting back to the night before. 

_Shelby gasped when Toni’s fingers slid through her wetness. Toni circled her clit gently, her eyes searching Shelby’s, finding only pleasure and desire. Toni kissed her, her fingers still working, doing her best to find a rhythm she’d be able to maintain in this position._

_Shelby held onto Toni, her fingernails digging into Toni’s bare back, never wanting Toni to let go, wanting more if that was even possible. The circle Toni was tracing dipped deeper, and Shelby bit Toni’s lip in response. Toni hummed, adjusting to Shelby’s response, making a mental note that wider circles got stronger reactions. Shelby’s hips lifted up to meet her on Toni’s next down stroke, Shelby’s whole body begging her for more. Toni licked Shelby’s neck the delicious taste of Shelby and sweat coating her tongue. “Can I go in you?” Toni panted._

_Shelby nodded immediately, “please.” She whispered back, spreading her legs out, trying to give Toni more room._

_Toni stilled their movements, not wanting to hurt Shelby by moving too fast or too rough. She slid her middle finger deeper, down through Shelby’s wetness, pushing gently into her. Shelby moaned, her eyes searching Toni’s. Toni kissed her, her kiss soft and sweet reassuring. “It’s okay?” Toni asked, her forehead resting on Shelby’s._

_Shelby nodded, all of her thoughts flooded with how good Toni felt in her. “Uh huh.” Her voice breathy and ragged._

_Toni licked her lips, Shelby’s whole body was already pulsing around her. She pulled her finger out the slightest bit before thrusting it back in, a little deeper. Her lips found Shelby’s neck, she kissed and sucked her way down to Shelby’s nipple, capturing one between her lips, circling it with her tongue. Her finger pumped in and out a little faster, curling inside Shelby finding a spot that caused Shelby to cry out with pleasure._

Toni dropped a lychee berry, causing Shelby to jump, her thoughts of the night before fading away. Toni hadn’t even seemed to notice. Shelby wondered what Toni could be thinking about. She hoped it was about last night, about everything that had happened between them, but she didn’t know if she should ask her. “Do you want to head back to the beach?” Shelby asked, seeing as both of their shirts were filled with berries. 

Toni didn’t respond, she just kept plucking berries from the tree. 

“Toni?” Shelby asked, a little worried that Toni might be ignoring her. 

Toni shook her head a bit as if shaking thoughts out of her mind, “what, I’m sorry.” She blushed like she had been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing, “told you I was a slow starter.” 

Shelby smiled at her softly, “I just asked if you wanted to head back to the beach.” 

Toni wanted to say no, she wanted to take Shelby in her arms again and kiss all of her fears and all of her doubts away, she wanted Shelby to feel as good as she felt about the night before, but she knew that was selfish, she knew Shelby needed to sort out a lot of stuff and that if Shelby had wanted her help, she would have asked for it. “We probably should.” Toni’s eyes lingered on the tree and the ground where they had spent the night. She smiled softly to herself, knowing that lychee berries would forever be her favorite fruit. Toni slung her full bag back onto her back and they took off down the path, walking back towards the beach.. “Which game did you want to play?” Shelby asked after they had walked for a while. She was desperate to get out of her own head, maybe a game was a good idea. 

Toni laughed, “I don’t know. Fifty Questions? Isn’t that the one where we just ask each other questions back and forth?” 

Shelby shrugged, “sure, I’ll play.” They continued to walk in silence. “Are you going to ask me a question?” She finally asked. 

Toni snuck a glance at Shelby, still trying her best to gauge how she was doing. “Uh, sure. What’s your talent?” 

Shelby frowned and looked at her, “my what?” 

Toni stopped walking and bit her bottom lip, “for your pageants. Shit, is that not a real thing? I really only have that Miss Congeniality movie’s worth of knowledge of pageants. Do they not really require a talent?” 

Shelby laughed and resumed their walking. “They do. I sing.” 

Toni smiled at her, “I’ll have to hear you for real one day then, not just when I’m peeing.” 

Shelby laughed a full laugh then. “Deal, I’ll sing to you sometime when you’re not peeing, but I don’t think you’ll like it.” She scrunched her face up, realizing that she only ever sang religious songs. 

“Why on Earth wouldn’t I like it?” Toni asked her. 

Shelby shrugged, “I don’t know, I don’t guess I think my songs are your style.” 

“Try me.” Toni urged. 

“What, now?” Shelby looked at Toni, realizing that she wasn’t kidding, that she really wanted Shelby to sing. So Shelby stopped walking and sang out a few bars of the last song she had performed. The one she sang that Becca had suggested. The one she sang just after finding out that Becca had died. Somehow, on the island with nothing to accompany her, the song was even sadder, even more filled with compassion. 

Toni was impressed, “damn, girl. You can sing.” She applauded for Shelby, not obnoxiously, just genuine clapping. 

Shelby curtsied, bowing her head dramatically and blushing deeply. “Thanks,” she said, bumping shoulders with Toni as they walked. “What type of music do you normally listen to?” 

Toni shrugged, “everything really. Though I can’t say I’m the world’s biggest fan of modern country. Some of the old stuff is good, but there’s only so many times I can hear about trucks and girls and generic bodies of water with mediocre background music.” 

Shelby laughed, “I feel that way about rap. I can only take so much drugs and bitches.” 

Toni scoffed, “you’re clearly not listening to the right rap.” 

Shelby frowned, “I could say the same about you and country.” 

“Hmmm… fair counter. If we ever get off this damn island, you can play me ten country songs of your choosing. I will listen with an open mind.” 

Shelby smiled at the thought of that. “You can play me ten rap songs, too.” She added quietly. 

Toni let them walk in a happy silence for a bit. When she felt Shelby’s mood start to get heavier she asked another question, “do you have any siblings?” 

Shelby nodded, “yeah, two. Both are younger. Spencer and Melody. You?” 

Toni shook her head no, “not that I know of anyways. I guess my dad could have reproduced again. I really don’t know him. I currently have some foster siblings, but I don’t even live with them any more. I’ve been living with Marty and her mom for a few months. Before them I lived with--” Toni stopped talking. She bit her bottom lip, not knowing if Shelby would want to know about her relationship with Reagan. 

“You can tell me about your past, you know. It’s okay.” Shelby said, not giving Toni much time to stew on it. 

“I used to live with Reagan and her mom, she was my girlfriend at the time. We had separate rooms, her mom wasn’t that liberal about the whole thing, but she was really understanding to my… life.” 

Shelby nodded, taking it all in. Her life had not been easy. Especially recently, but at least she had always had a roof over her head, well, until a few weeks ago when her plane crash landed. She couldn’t imagine how Toni, especially a younger Toni had managed. She wondered how hard that must have been and how long Toni must have been fighting for survival. She wondered about the concept of living with a partner, at such a young age. She blushed, Toni had clearly known what she was doing last night, so even if this ex-girlfriend’s mom hadn’t let them share a bedroom, how often must they have hooked up. Shelby felt a pang of jealousy flutter to her chest. She wondered if Toni had been with people before or after this Reagan girl, she felt the jealousy flutter again. She thought about how calm Toni was being and she wondered if that nonchalance came from having done this so many times. “How many people have you been with?” Shelby blurted out before she could stop herself. 

Toni stopped walking again and looked at her, “well, just Reagan until last night. And now, I mean, I guess, two?” She didn’t guess, Toni knew. But she didn’t know how to acknowledge the fact that they had just had sex, Shelby for the first time. Shelby looked nauseous. Toni thought maybe they should stop for a minute and eat some of the berries they were carrying. They had been walking for nearly an hour. “Hey, do you want to take a break? Sit for a minute?” 

Shelby thought about stopping, she thought about letting Toni in, at least to some of her religious concerns or worries, but it was all so overwhelming, so instead she just started walking again. Toni followed without pressing the issue, but she wondered the whole time if she should. She wondered why Shelby was so able to communicate her wants and needs last night and now she seemed to be running from them. 

Shelby walked in silence, her thoughts drifting back to the night before, wishing she could always feel that free. 

_Toni adjusted her whole body lower on Shelby, settling herself down in between her legs. Shelby’s eyes widened when she realized what Toni was doing. She propped herself up on her elbows, wanting to see, nervous and curious all at once._

_Toni locked eyes with Shelby, wanting to see her reaction, wanting to know immediately if it was too much. Shelby was stunning, Toni thought again as she traced a line along Shelby’s lower lips, her tongue tasting Shelby for the first time. Toni moaned with delight, her tongue sliding deeper into Shelby’s folds. Shelby gasped when Toni’s tongue made contact with her clit. Her head fell back in sheer ecstasy. She laid back, spreading her legs as far as she could get them, giving Toni as much room to roam as she could._

_Toni pumped in and out of her with her finger curled and traced circles around and over her clit, sweat pooling on her lower back from exertion. Shelby slid her fingers into Toni’s ponytail, needing something to hang on to. Toni pulled a little farther out and added a finger, Shelby moaned with pleasure at the addition. “Yes,” Shelby whispered, a low breathy whisper. “Yes,” she whispered again._

_Toni sucked on her clit, she knew Shelby was close, she could feel her tightening around her fingers and her body’s once smooth movements and reactions had become erratic and shaky. She felt the grip in her hair tighten and Shelby’s whole body tighten before coming completely undone. Toni did her best to work her through her orgasm, gradually slowing her motions until Shelby stopped clenching around her fingers._

_Shelby took deep steadying breaths, that was unlike anything she had ever experienced. The jets in their tub back at home had been a poor substitute. She released her grip on Toni’s hair, feeling her whole body relax entirely for the first time in her life. Toni kissed back up her body, nipping gently at her ribs, Shelby laughed, learning that she herself was ticklish there. Toni chuckled, but kept kissing her way back up her body, letting her full weight come to rest on top of her, grounding her in more ways than one._

_Toni rested her forehead against Shelby’s both of them out of breath. Toni gently slid her fingers out of Shelby and into her own mouth, sucking them clean. Shelby hummed softly, her eyes widening and her heart overflowing._

_Toni smiled at her, kissing her deeply, her tongue sliding into Shelby’s mouth. Shelby could taste herself on Toni, and she loved it. She broke their kiss and searched Toni’s eyes. “Can I…” Shelby froze, taking a deep breath to steady herself, she continued, “can I try to… umm… please you?”_

_Toni’s eyes widened, she honestly hadn’t expected that, but she was up for anything Shelby wanted to try. “Of course.” She said kissing Shelby again, but rolling off her while she did so. Shelby followed her roll, it proved to be effective in switching their positions and suddenly, she found herself straddling Toni’s waist._

“Is it hotter here or in Texas?” Toni asked, after they had walked in silence for a while. 

Shelby snapped out of her thoughts of the night before. “What? I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.” 

Toni smiled at her, “is it hotter here or Texas?” 

Shelby shrugged, “it’s hotter in Texas, but you’re not stuck in it like we are here. So, I’ll give the island the vote for hotter overall.” Shelby looked at Toni, she was just so damn calm. Shelby’s mind had not slowed down for half a second all morning and Toni looked like she had just come out of a two hour massage. “Tell me about Minnesota?” Shelby asked, wanting to keep from slipping back into her thoughts from the night before. 

“Well, it’s cold. Even during the summer it can get pretty cold, but it’s beautiful.” 

“We rarely get snow where I’m from, and it never sticks around. Never enough to build a snowman or anything.” Shelby thought for a minute, not wanting to push Toni away, not wanting to insinuate they were anything more than whatever it was that they were. Shelby sighed, great, another thing to worry about, trying to figure out what she and Toni were. She groaned, she still technically had a boyfriend. Of course, he was also a cheater, and she would break up with him if she ever made it off this island regardless, she added that she was a cheater to her running list of sins. 

Toni wanted to ask Shelby if she was okay, she was sighing rather dramatically from in front of her, but she knew the answer was no, and based off of Shelby’s reaction earlier, she didn’t think she would tell her anyways. She decided to try and keep the conversation going instead, “what grade are you going to be in? In the fall… you know, if we get out of here?” 

“I’ll be a senior, in the fall.” Shelby said. 

“Valedictorian? Prom Queen?” Toni teased, but she was really asking. She couldn’t imagine there being anyone more beautiful than Shelby, any one more friendly and welcoming, she knew the girl had to be popular. 

Shelby blushed, “well, I was homecoming queen last year, so, maybe Prom Queen.” Shelby sighed again. Just one more worry, what was she going to do if they made it back? Ask Toni to come be her date to Prom? She shook it off, “I’m good at school, but not valedictorian good. What about you? Going to try to play basketball again?” 

Toni shrugged, “maybe. I mean, that’s if my coach lets me back on the team.” 

Shelby laughed, “Did you really throw your pee?” 

Toni laughed, a full genuine laugh, “I really did.” 

“But why?” Shelby couldn’t stop laughing, “like why would you throw pee?” 

Toni blushed, it wasn’t her finest moment. Sure, the other girl had called her few choice homophobic slurs and elbowed Toni in the nose so hard it had bled, but still, she shouldn’t have thrown her pee. “Well, she had fouled me a bunch of times and said some really fucked up shit in my ear. And… well… You know. I should have let it go.” Toni sighed, “I should really learn to let a lot of things go.” 

Shelby didn’t push it any farther. “What else do you do? Like any other hobbies?” 

“I can play the guitar.” Toni said, smiling. “I was just learning when we left. I’ve got a few songs down.” 

“I wish we had a guitar here. How much fun could that be?” 

Toni blushed, she was terrible at the guitar, if she was being honest. She knew three songs and not very well. Marty had actually asked her to stop the last time she had tried. But she didn’t want to admit to Shelby of all people that she hadn’t really had time for other hobbies, between school and work and basketball and Raegan before that had gone to shit, she hadn’t really had time to take up knitting or golf. 

Shelby blushed as well, she let herself imagine singing along to Toni playing. She wondered if she would ever get that chance. “When’s your birthday?” 

“November 6th. Are you about to tell me my horoscope?” 

Shelby laughed, “maybe. You being a scorpio makes complete sense though. Fatin is convinced you’re an Aries. I think she’ll be sorely disappointed.” 

Toni laughed. “Fuck off,” she said jokingly. “What are you a Pisces?” 

Shelby blushed, “Yes.” 

Toni laughed again, “Jesus, we’re the poster children for our Astrological signs. When is your birthday?” 

“March 17th.” 

“You’re a St. Patrick’s day baby?” 

Shelby nodded, she had always wanted to do something fun for her birthday, but her dad had always used it as an excuse to be even more religious. She vowed to do what she wanted this year, if she was still alive to see it. She wanted to do a lot more of what she wanted, last night had told her that. Her thoughts drifted to the night before when she did take what she wanted. 

_Toni’s hand slid over Shelby’s ass, holding her tight to her body. Shelby moaned, her body still hypersensitive to every touch of Toni’s. She kissed down Toni’s neck, nipping gently at her pulse point, hoping to tease her as pleasantly as Toni had done. Shelby swallowed nervously, letting her tongue trace a line down Toni’s throat. She tasted salty and earthy and Shelby couldn’t get enough of it._

_Toni tilted her head, exposing more of her neck to Shelby, encouraging her to continue. Toni reminded herself to be vocal about what she was liking, soft and encouraging seemed best. She gasped when Shelby traced her tongue around Toni’s nipple. Her fingers gripping Shelby’s shoulders for support. Shelby froze and looked up, “good sound?” She asked, her voice nervous._

_Toni nodded, “very good.” She breathed._

_Shelby smiled before sucking Toni’s nipple into her mouth. Toni’s whole body bucked up into her. Shelby’s hands naturally slid down to Toni’s hips, she squeezed the soft spot just below Toni’s hip bones, earning another moan from the woman beneath her. She wanted to be the cause of so many more. She drug her nails down Toni’s abs, not too rough, but with enough force to leave little red lines. Toni practically whimpered._

_Toni couldn’t stop herself, she sat up to kiss Shelby, she needed Shelby’s mouth on her own. Shelby wrapped her legs around Toni’s waist as she sat up, they kissed passionately. Shelby gently pulled the ponytail out of Toni’s hair, never breaking their kiss. She ran her fingers through Toni’s thick waves._

_“You’re beautiful,” She whispered in between their kisses. “But I need you to lie back if you want me fuck you.”_

_Toni’s mouth fell open in disbelief, but she did exactly what she was told, completely stunned as Shelby kissed a line straight down the center of her body, not stopping for a second, just slipping her tongue straight through Toni’s dripping wet center. “Fuck,” Toni moaned, her hips lifting to meet Shelby’s face as she circled Toni’s clit with her tongue. Shelby slid a hand under Toni’s ass as she had lifted, squeezing firmly. Toni gasped, knowing she would come undone in mere seconds if Shelby kept this up._

_“Can I go in you?” Shelby asked, her tongue immediately going back to lapping up all of Toni’s juices. Shelby couldn’t believe how good Toni tasted, how salty and savory she was all at once._

_“Yes.” Toni breathed out, her voice completely broken, she was a wreck under Shelby._

_Shelby pushed her tongue into Toni, surprising the brunette all the more. Toni spread her knees as far as she could for Shelby, trying to give her ample room to work. Toni felt like she was moaning with every breath she took._

_Shelby replaced her tongue with a finger as gently as she could, all too aware that what was left of her manicure was probably too long for her to be rough inside the other woman. She was immediately floored with the sensation of being inside Toni. Like all the questions she had ever had in her life were answered all at once. She sucked on Toni’s clit and curled her finger, just like Toni had done for her. Within a few pumps, she felt Toni’s whole body pulsing around her, every single muscle engaged._

_Toni cried out, her hand squeezing Shelby’s shoulder, the other found a root over her head she could just barely reach. Toni looked down, searching for Shelby’s eyes, finding them looking radiant and green and filled with joy. Toni’s whole body melted into the earth. As the spasms slowed, she let go of Shelby’s shoulder._

_Shelby pulled out of her gently, “You… umm… you finished, right?”_

_Toni nodded, still too out of breath to speak. She motioned for Shelby to move back up her to lay on top of her._

_Shelby chuckled, Toni was devastatingly beautiful all spent and relaxed like this, she thought. She looked down at her finger, the one that had just been buried inside of Toni, it was covered in her thick juices. Shelby did exactly as Toni had done and licked the finger clean._

The sound of the ocean pulled Shelby out of her trance. They were close to the other girls now, they would be there any minute. This was her last chance to say something to Toni, anything. 

“I can’t wait for the girls to see the berries.” Toni said happily, before Shelby managed to get anything out. 

Shelby shook it off, all her thoughts and emotions would have to wait. They were on an island, though, it wasn’t like she could avoid her thoughts forever.


	3. Chapter 3

“Oh!” Shelby exclaimed as she and Toni made it back into the beach camp. “Here I thought we’d be saving the day.” She laughed joyfully at the sight of the goat cooking in front of them. “It looks like we’ve been upstaged.”

“Hey!” Dot greeted them, “where were you guys?” She asked, the question innocent, full of concern more than anything. 

Shelby dropped all of the lychee berries out of her shirt, far less gracefully than she had intended. “Well,” she scoffed, “do you have a good chunk of time?” 

Toni braced for how awkward this tale was about to be. When Shelby had suggested that morning that they get their story straight, she hadn’t realized it was because Shelby was so painfully bad at lying. She should have realized though, what with her being as religious as she was, she probably thought of each lie as a sin. 

“Cause that is a long story,” Shelby continued, touching her hand to her eyebrow, rubbing it nervously, “which starts with this serious wrong turn into the glade,” she gestured excessively. 

Toni watched her, confused and bewildered, this poor girl needed a life raft. Toni mercifully cut her off, “yeah, we got lost and, you know, thought it’d be safer to camp out than hike back in the dark.” 

Shelby breathed a sigh of relief next to her, shooting Toni a thankful glance and chuckling softy. 

Toni quickly changed the subject, “Marty, is that that the goat?” Her eyes flashed in horror to her best friend. 

Marty just nodded, looking completely shocked and still covered in the goat’s blood. Toni quickly went to check on her friend’s emotional state. 

Shelby moved to join them, but Dot called her out. “Hey, uh, big-game hunter, I’m not even sure I’m doing this right.” 

Shelby looked at what Dot was doing to the dead goat and shook her head no. She smiled, thankful that Dot’s question was over so quickly and that no one had bothered to ask them anything else, “oh, God, no. You’ve got it all wrong. You’ve gotta get the guts out first,” Shelby said sinking to her knees, her eyes flashing to Toni, choosing to think about the night before instead of the gory task at hand. 

_“Did I do okay?” Shelby asked, her voice nervous and thick._

_Toni laughed, she had never orgasmed like that in her life, it was so raw and powerful and pure and somehow after it, all she wanted was more. “Yes, more than okay.” Toni reassured her. She kissed Shelby’s temple, her arms wrapping around Shelby, holding her tightly to her chest. Toni sighed contentedly, “that was, like, seriously amazing.”_

_Shelby looked up into Toni’s eyes, the light brown a golden color in the sunset. She kissed her, slow and gentle, wanting more of her still, and wanting desperately to stay in this moment, with her forever, to never let her doubts creep in. She cupped Toni’s face, her thumb tracing over the mole just off Toni’s mouth. She bit her bottom lip, wondering if Toni could sense that she wanted more._

_Toni tucked a strand of blonde hair back behind Shelby’s ear. “Are your eyes green or blue?” She asked, her voice thick with desire again. It made Shelby’s heart beat faster._

_“Depends on what color I’m wearing.” Shelby said, her accent thicker than normal, like she had had too much to drink. She did feel intoxicated, intoxicated by pure bliss and passion._

_Toni blushed, “Well... “ She searched for something to say other than that they were beautiful, or captivating, she didn’t want to say or do anything cheesy in this moment, she wanted to do real, “I’ve just never seen anything like them. They’re.. I mean, you’re…” Toni licked her lips, her eyes flashing down to Shelby’s mouth, “fuck.” She whispered, pulling Shelby in for a blistering kiss. A kiss so deep, Toni sat them both up to continue, pulling Shelby back into her lap._

_Shelby was surprised, but also very very pleased. She wrapped her legs around Toni’s waist and kept her fingers wound tight in Toni’s long wavy hair. Toni’s hands slid down Shelby’s back, dragging her nails down and squeezing her ass. She slid them down her thighs and back up them, one hand sliding up, in between Shelby’s legs._

_They locked eyes, their foreheads resting together, “yes,” Shelby whispered her answer to Toni’s unspoken question, and without hesitation Toni sank two fingers deep inside her._

Shelby looked up when she heard Martha ask if Toni was okay. She wondered if Martha could tell. Shelby knew they were close, but what if she took one look at Toni and knew everything. Toni met Shelby’s gaze across the circle, “she’s alright, you know,” Toni said. She quickly changed the subject, “More importantly, are you okay?” 

Shelby smiled as she worked, she knew Toni was a good friend just because of how Martha had talked about her and all that Martha was clearly willing to do for her, but it warmed Shelby’s heart to see it in action. She smiled thinking about how protective Toni was over Martha and she wondered if one day Toni would be as protective over her. She blushed at the thought, something in her burned when she thought about Toni being protective of her. Even more so if she let herself get really okay and think of a setting with Toni off the island. 

Rachel interrupted the moment between Toni and Martha, with some weird blood lust shit that actually kind of concerned Shelby, if she was being honest. Rachel inserted herself on the other side of Martha, in between her and Dot, asking how good it felt to kill something, Shelby was glad to see Toni take Martha’s hand, helping to shield her from bearing the brunt of those questions alone. Shelby watched Toni’s face, she knew the girl was quick to anger and she knew that Rachel set Toni off almost as quickly as she did. She bit her bottom lip at the thought wondering if she would still piss Toni off as much now that she had been inside her. 

Toni’s eyes drifted to Shelby. She had told herself a thousand times she needed to get a better handle on her rage. She did her best to tune Rachel’s questions out, to just hold Martha’s hand in solidarity. What the fuck was wrong with Rachel? Marty was clearly traumatized by the whole ordeal, and this bitch was coming up asking about how glorious it must feel to kill something. Toni set her jaw and tried to watch Shelby in a way that would not be obvious to anyone else. She did let her eyes linger on her ass though, for probably longer than she should have, but god it was a great ass. Shelby was so unbelievably attractive that it was honestly kind of intimidating. 

Shelby’s eyes would flicker to Toni’s occasionally, and nine times out of ten she found the other girl’s eyes gazing back at her. She also could see how filled with rage Toni looked and how Rachel still hadn’t stopped badgering Marth with questions. Martha looked wholly overwhelmed. In a way, Shelby was really proud of Toni for not going off on Rachel, she wondered what was holding the fiery woman back. She had been so uncharacteristically calm all day that she was even putting up with Rachel’s bullshit. 

Shelby worked quickly and efficiently with the goat, wanting to salvage as much of the meat as possible, knowing all too well they desperately needed the food. She thought back to every hunting lesson her dad had given her, trying to remember how to smoke the meat in a way that it would have a longer fridge life, or in their case, a longer no fridge life. She also wondered if there’d be any way they could try and dry out the hide. This was one of those situations when they really shouldn’t let anything go to waste. “The good news,” she said, trying to help Toni and Martha change the subject off of Martha’s kill, “Is that, one goat means probably multiple goats.” 

This did seem to cheer all the girls up. It was the first bit of good news they had had in a while. “Hey, Shelby,” Fatin had walked over to where she was working, “Do you know how to make a blanket out of that thing?” 

Shelby frowned, “no.” She was being honest. “I really don’t know. But I do kind of understand the premise, so I think I’m going to try.” Fatin nodded approvingly. “cool. Think how dope we’ll all look when they come to rescue us and we all have full blown goat outfits and capes, complete with, like, hats and boots.” Fatin runway walked away causing all the girls to laugh. Toni, Shelby, and Martha were all incredibly thankful the topic had changed and that the mood had lightened. 

They all sank back into their usual fantasy conversations of who wanted to do what with the goat fur. Shelby blushed when it was Toni’s turn to say what she wanted to do with the goat fur. “What would you do with it?” Martha asked after Toni had just shrugged when it got to her. 

“I don’t know,” Toni said, looking anywhere but at Shelby, “like a goat fur mattress would be kind of sweet. Like imagine not sleeping on sand, or rocks, or forest floor. How nice would it be to sleep on something soft.” 

While Shelby worked, she tried really hard to not only think about cuddling up next to Toni on a soft warm fur mattress. All the girls groaned at the thought. “You’d share, though, right?” Fatin asked her, raising her eyebrows seductively. 

All the girls laughed again, but Shelby felt that same pang of jealousy flutter in her chest. It wasn’t Fatin’s fault. Fatin was just being Fatin. She had no way of knowing about the night she had just spent with Toni. “Alright.” She said, changing the subject, “this first bit of meat is ready to go over the fire.” She said pointing at the first half of the goat which she and Dot had diligently cut with her multi tool into small manageable pieces. 

The circle tensed. It had sounded like Shelby had cut off the gay talk again. Shelby blushed. Her eyes, apologetic, found Toni’s, fearing that Toni would have mistaken her words as well. Afraid that she would think that last night was a one and done. All eyes turned to look at Toni, knowing that she had a short fuse and Shelby seemed to be a walking blow torch. Toni was as calm and collected as she had been all day, clearly picking out the right way to respond to Shelby's comment. She looked at Fatin, “Yes, I would share, but for my safety, I think I’m putting Shelby in between us.” The girls all cackled, even Shelby laughed, though she did blush a deep shade of red. “And you,” Toni continued, turning the conversation back to Shelby, the entire group going silent, even Shelby held her breath. “Good fucking job, Goodkind. We’re starving.” Shelby blushed deeply at the compliment from Toni, also from the round of cheers she got from the rest of the girls. 

They added wood to the fire and did their best to make kabobs out of the goat meat. When they all settled down to finally sit and eat their feast of goat meat and lychee berries, Toni deliberately sat next to Shelby, hoping to smooth over any potential bad vibes from earlier. She wasn’t going to rush Shelby to be okay with herself, and she didn’t want any of the others to try and rush her, either. This island, as hellacious as it was, was a really good opportunity for Shelby to get comfortable in her own skin and Toni would be damned if she didn’t do her best to make sure Shelby got that chance. 

Shelby appreciated the gesture, not only had it put the group at ease, it put some of her own fears and doubts at ease as well. She smiled at Toni as she ate, taking a mental picture of Toni sitting there in the dark sand eating handfuls of food, laughing and joking with the others. Toni licked one of her fingers, cleaning every drop of meat and berry off of it. Shelby bit her bottom lip, her thoughts drifting back to the night before. 

_Shelby’s head was thrown back exposing her neck, which Toni was taking full advantage of sucking and licking and biting as her fingers pumped in and out of Shelby. Toni’s other arm was wrapped around Shelby’s waist helping to hold her upright. Shelby’s legs were wrapped around Toni’s waist, her hands tangled in Toni’s hair. She moaned into the evening sky, in complete disbelief that anything on Earth could ever feel this good. “Yes, Toni. Yes.” She whispered as Toni flicked her thumb across her clit, her fingers never slowing inside her._

_Toni’s light brown eyes flashed up to Shelby’s, a devious smile locked in place. “Say it again?” She asked, her voice husky and nervous._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, overwhelmed by the fact that she knew in that moment she would do or try or say anything the other woman asked. “Fuck, Toni, don’t stop.” She knew it was Toni’s name she had wanted to hear._

_The words made Toni moan, her lips sinking into the supple skin all around Shelby’s nipple. Toni was rougher this time, knowing her kisses and licks and bites would leave marks across Shelby’s chest. Toni felt her forearm burning, but ignored it. She didn’t care if she couldn’t lift anything for the rest of the time they were on this island, for as long as Shelby was enjoying what she was doing, she would never stop._

_Shelby’s back arched, every inch of her flexing, contracting around Toni. She could hear the sounds of her wetness as Toni’s fingers slipped in and out of her, the sounds of her heavy breathing mixing with Toni’s. Her fingers tightened through Toni’s hair, pulling Toni’s head back, rougher than she had intended, but she needed Toni’s mouth on hers. Their kiss was hot and messy, tongues and teeth and moans, and Toni’s name repeatedly falling from Shelby’s lips any millisecond they broke for air._

_Toni had never felt anything like Shelby coming around her fingers, thick hot juices coated her hand. Shelby’s whole body shuddered around her. Toni made a mental note that this seated position with Shelby in her lap wrapped around her was the greatest feeling in the world._

_Their movements stilled, Shelby practically collapsing forward on Toni, her arms wrapping around Toni’s shoulders, releasing their grip on Toni’s hair, her face resting in the nape of Toni’s neck. They both tried to catch their breath. Toni gently pulled her fingers out, reveling in the feeling of Shelby’s whole body tightening around their movements as if trying to keep them in. Shelby hummed softly as they left her._

_They stayed like that, neither wanting to untangle themselves any farther, until the sun dipped the rest of the way down._

It was Toni standing that broke Shelby from her thoughts. They hadn’t been touching or even particularly close to each other, but the second Toni got up, Shelby felt like she missed her. The rest of the girls started to get up, all full, all having finished their best meal since the plane crash. Dot came over to her and took Toni’s seat, looking concerned. “So we’ve got like a third of a goat left. Any chance you know how to turn this into jerky or something that will keep?” 

Shelby looked at the uncooked goat meat, divided out into pieces on large leafs next to the fire. Shelby bit her lip, “I mean, I have a vague idea, but no. I’ve never done it. It would be trial and error.” 

Dot nodded, “well,” she started, moving closer to the fire, “I think we’ve got to try.” 

Shelby’s eyes drifted around their little camp. Nora and Rachel were off laying on a rock, a little away from the group. Toni and Martha were walking up to the cliff that overlooked the beach, Shelby knew so that Toni could talk to Martha away from Rachel and the others to make sure she was okay after having killed the goat, and Fatin and Leah were laying near each other laughing about something as Fatin started what looked like an arts and crafts project from where Shelby was sitting. She looked at Dot, knowing all too well that Dot was right, they couldn’t go that long without food again. She nodded, and moved to help. 

“I think if we make like an A frame and hang the meat over it in strips, like up high enough to not flash cook it, it should work.” Shelby and Dot got to work and in under an hour, they had their meat hanging over the fire. She and Dot also did their best to wash the goat’s skin in the ocean and draped it over a rock. Shelby had no idea how to tan a hide, she thought she could remember that stretching it should be involved, but she didn’t know what in the world she was supposed to stretch it with. She figured clean and dry was as good an idea as any. They could make notes of what that did and if it didn’t work, hopefully they would be able to get another goat sooner rather than later and they could try again. 

Shelby noticed Martha come down from the cliff and could still see Toni up top, basking in the sun, looking as calm, cool and collected as she had all day, it was driving Shelby crazy. Shelby sat passing a lychee berry back and forth between her hands, the berry somehow making her feel more connected to the night before. 

_Toni kissed Shelby’s cheek, tucking a loose strand of hair back behind Shelby’s ear, resting her forehead against hers. Their breathing had finally steadied. “Well,” Toni chuckled, looking around them at the forest, “I think it’s too late to go back to the camp tonight.”_

_Shelby laughed, “yeah, I think it is. At least we have the berries.”_

_Toni nodded, “yeah, no fires, only tank tops, is your shirt mesh?” She teased, “but yes, we do have berries.”_

_“You worried about getting cold?” Shelby asked, very aware of the fact that they were both coated in a layer of sweat._

_Toni smiled her smile that was reserved for Shelby, “I mean, it’s a reasonable concern.”_

_Shelby kissed her gently, “I can think of a few ways to keep you warm.” She grinned at Toni, her blue-green eyes filled with a delicious desire. She unlocked her ankles behind Toni’s waist and gently pushed Toni backwards, urging her to lay down again. Toni chuckled, but laid back without protest._

“Hey,” Fatin said, sitting down next to Shelby, ripping her from her thoughts. 

Shelby dropped the lychee berry and wiped her hands, “hey,” she returned. She chuckled when she noticed the folded fortune teller in Fatin’s hands. 

“I used to love those things. I used to always ask it if I was gonna marry Tony Romo.” She laughed awkwardly thinking about how much her desires had changed and how different her questions would be. 

Fatin laughed with her, “yeah, this is a true testament to the depths of my boredom. Shall we give it a whirl?” 

Shelby paused, waiting for Fatin to ask it a question. 

“Are we in the actual Bermuda Triangle?” Fatin asked and started moving the oracle back and forth in her hands. 

Shelby leaned in to see her answer. “Obviously, you dipshit,” Shelby said, no longer worrying about whether she should or shouldn’t say dipshit when so many filthier things had fallen from her lips the night before. 

Fatin looked annoyed, “I mean… I made the thing so.” 

Shelby chuckled and looked away, wondering what it was, specifically that she would ask the paper oracle. 

“You want to give it a try?” Fatin asked her, waiving the oracle around in circles, “do you have any burning questions for the oracle?” Shelby had a thousand, what the fuck was Toni thinking? What did last night mean for them? Was she going to burn in hell for all eternity? Was she already in hell? After last night she was starting to wonder if this might even be heaven. Was Becca’s death her fault? Was her death preventable? If they ever got rescued, what would that do to her and Toni? She took the fortune teller from Fatin, not wanting to ask any of these questions out loud, but desperately wanting answers. “Do I have to say the question out loud?” She asked, side eyeing the girl sitting next to her. 

Fatin laughed, “ideally, but if you want to be a mysterious bitch about it, then fine.” She said, plucking a lychee berry from the pile behind them. 

Shelby silently thought about Toni and what was going on between them, never quite able to articulate a full question, she picked the number three, knowing that was Toni’s basketball number and moved the oracle back and forth with her fingers. “I don’t fucking know.” She revealed. She laughed, “well, that wasn’t fun.” She tossed the oracle on the ground. “The whole point of these things is they’re supposed to give you the answers, right?” Shelby looked incredibly stressed. 

Fatin picked up her fortune teller, “Jesus.” She looked up on the cliff to where Shelby had been staring for the past hour or so, “I mean, if you’re so worried about how she’s feeling, maybe you should go ask her yourself.” She said while casually gesturing towards Toni. 

Shelby looked around them in fear. How did Fatin already know? 

Fatin grinned at her, hoping that it came across as reassuring. “Please,” she said, “I know sexual tension when I see it.” 

Shelby looked like she was about to throw up. She had so many questions about the night before and she hadn’t even had the proper time to address them. Shelby looked at her feet, she didn’t know if she should try to deny it, or start crying that her life long well kept secret was out with her ever saying a word. 

Fatin watched Shelby’s reaction, it wasn’t what she had intended. If anything, she had wanted to give the other girl someone to talk to about all of it. Before Shelby could say anything Fatin continued, “but don’t worry.” She locked and zipped and locked and zipped her lips for Shelby, hoping to convey to the blonde that her secret was safe. 

Shelby didn’t feel much better. She and Fatin couldn’t be more opposite and she had figured out Shelby’s deepest secret, one that after Becca’s death, she alone held. She didn’t count her dad, she thought she had pretty well convinced him that it was Becca who had kissed her, not the other way around. And now, in a matter of days, there were two other people who knew. Shelby sighed, smiling half heartedly at Fatin. She knew the girl had just been trying to be nice, and she had actually offered good advice. She needed to go talk to Toni, see what this was, if it could be anything, at least while they were here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there folx, I think there's about one more chapter until I catch up with the show. I can keep going forever on these two lovebirds, or we can end this bad boy then. Let me know what you think! 
> 
> It really just means that after the next chapter, the flashback style thing I've got going here would end because... well, they'd be doing new things and not thinking about past things. 
> 
> I'm happy to keep going, if y'all want me too, I'm having fun. Or I can come up with something new to have these two do in a whole new story. 
> 
> Anywhosers, hope this story brings you a smile and finds you well, thanks for taking the time to read it.  
> -EKH


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to give a massive thank you to y'all for reading. To those who have taken the time to like it, or comment, or both, you've seriously made my day. I love this fandom as much as I love the show at this point. To those of you who are writing your own fanfics or making fan art or fan videos, THANK YOU. It's been a while since I've gotten so hooked on a show and I'm loving all the glorious content surrounding it as well.
> 
> Important note: chapter four is the last chapter that will be canon compliant. Just as a heads up for those of you who are here for that. I'm trying to figure out how to keep the flashback thing going though. Wish me luck on that front. 
> 
> And with that, please enjoy the show.   
> -EKH

_Shelby wanted to take her time with Toni, really appreciate every inch of her body. She kissed down Toni’s neck, letting their bodies slot back together, her thigh up against Toni’s dripping wet center. Shelby inhaled sharply, feeling Toni’s wetness drip down her own thigh, losing herself in the thought that she was what had caused it. Both of them rocked into each other, Toni’s leg lifting in between Shelby’s, giving her something to grind against as well._

_Shelby kissed down Toni’s collar bone wanting to bite her, but not wanting to hurt her and worrying that she wouldn’t know the difference. She let her tongue trace a line down the center of Toni’s chest, the taste of Toni’s skin salty and so, so deliciously unique._

_Toni’s breathing was ragged, she lifted her hips up again, providing friction for both of them, losing herself to Shelby’s mouth. She dug her fingers into the soft forest floor, needing to hang on to something, but not wanting to prevent Shelby from exploring every bit of her chest. “Fuck.” Toni breathed as Shelby sucked her nipple into her mouth, letting the pebbled tip rake across her bottom teeth._

_Shelby’s eyes searched up for Toni’s, wanting to make sure it had been a good fuck, not a bad one. Toni’s eyes were shut tight, her mouth open, her breathing heavy. Shelby’s heart fluttered in her chest. She had never seen anything in her life so beautiful as Toni was in that moment. Shelby rocked into Toni again, letting her hands grip Toni’s sides, her nails digging ever so slightly into Toni’s back._

_“Shelby…” Toni panted, her eyes opening ever so slightly to look at the blonde causing her complete undoing._

_“Yes?” Shelby asked, her tongue sweeping a long line down Toni’s abdomen. Her hands sliding up to grab her now unattended breasts._

_“Fuck, Shelby.” Toni whispered, as Shelby’s tongue sank into her belly button._

_Shelby had moved too low for their legs to be doing each other any favors anymore. She lifted her own body up enough for Toni to spread her legs, making room for her to settle herself down in between them._

_She kissed along Toni’s hips, nipping at Toni’s hip bones, her fingernails dragging gently down Toni’s abs. Toni’s whole back arched at the movement, her center rising into Shelby’s mouth as if Toni’s whole body was begging for what was to come._

_Shelby dipped her tongue through Toni’s folds, the delicious, now familiar taste of Toni flooding her mouth. Shelby licked over Toni’s clit, tracing in circles, up and down, back and forth, trying everything she could think of, ranking every response, filing them away for future use._

_Toni had become a shaky mess of sharp inhales and exhales filled with Shelby’s name. She had lost all ability to process anything other than what Shelby’s tongue was doing to her entire body._

_When Toni’s whole body started to tense, Shelby slid a finger deep inside her, wanting to feel her pulse around her finger as she had before. She pumped it in and out of Toni, reveling in the fact that Toni’s hips moved in time with her movements. She slid a second finger into Toni for the first time, her efforts rewarded with Toni’s moaned affirmations. When she sucked on Toni’s clit, she felt Toni climax harder even than before._

_Toni’s fingers left the earth and buried themselves in Shelby’s hair, holding the blonde tightly to her. A warm wave washed over Toni, her whole body feeling as if it was floating. When she finally collapsed back, her whole body feeling like mush and jello, Shelby licked her completely clean, not wanting to miss a single ounce of the hot slick heat that coated all of Toni. When Shelby was satisfied, she kissed her way back up Toni’s body. She was in no rush and Toni hummed softly with every kiss. Toni’s hands, gently running through Shelby’s hair, her light brown eyes watching Shelby in a clouded daze._

_Shelby laid down on top of Toni, her head resting in the nape of Toni’s neck. Neither of them were breathing correctly, it would be a while before either of them could. So they just laid like that, out of breath, with Toni running her fingers through Shelby’s hair._

Shelby walked up to Toni as the brunetted watched the waves rolling in from on top of the cliff, hugging her knees. Toni looked deep in thought and Shelby didn’t want to startle her, “hey,” she said, hopefully not too loudly as she approached. 

At the sound of Shelby’s voice, Toni whipped around. She smiled up at the beautiful blonde, “hey,” she returned. 

Shelby sat down on the ground next to her, her long legs stretched out in front of her. As Shelby watched the waves, a serious expression washed over her face. She wasn’t good at this, she had no practice, but she had to know what Toni was thinking about, how she was feeling about the night before. The whole day she had thought of a thousand different things she should say. She knew that Toni had asked her if she was okay that morning and that she honestly hadn’t been by the time Toni had woken up, but she hadn’t expected it all to have seemingly meant so little to Toni. “So does this not matter to you?” Shelby asked, flinching at her own words, they were harsher than she had intended. 

Toni looked over at Shelby, trying to get a good look at the other woman’s face, genuinely confused by the question, “what?” 

Shelby continued, not daring to return Toni’s gaze, “you’re this…” she paused, wanting to choose her words carefully, “fiery, passionate person.” She finally dared a glance at Toni, “and then last night happens, and you’re just so damn calm.” Shelby shook her head, “I guess…” Shelby looked down at her hands, “I guess I just got to thinking that maybe that’s be--” she choked on the word, on the very thought that her fear might be true, “because it didn’t matter to you.” 

Toni smiled, she hadn’t meant for Shelby to take her behavior that way, she had just wanted to give the other girl space, “nah, Shelby.” She bit her bottom lip and looked back into Shelby’s eyes, eyes she noticed were incredibly green today. “It’s ‘cause I trust you.” Her eyes flickered down to Shelby’s lips and back up into eyes that she could get lost in forever. 

Shelby shook her head in disbelief, thankful that last night had meant something to Toni, at least that was a good start to this conversation. She wasn’t really sure what Toni meant though, “What the hell did I do to earn that?” It had eaten at her all day, she wasn’t really sure why Toni even liked her at all, she hadn’t thought of a single reason why Toni might. She had done nothing but piss the other girl off the whole time they had been stranded on the island. 

Toni cut off Shelby’s spiraling thoughts, “you saved my life.” 

Shelby could feel all of her stress from the day coming out like word vomit, she knew she wasn’t going to be able to hold any of it back, the flood gates were opening, “Okay, but what if it all blows up? What if...what if we end up freaking miserable, you know?” She froze thinking about how much they already drove each other crazy and pushed each other’s buttons. 

Toni was smiling, watching Shelby have her moment, thankful the other girl was finally sharing, finally letting her in, not just physically, but emotionally. She let Shelby continue without interruption, knowing she’d get her chance to respond, happy to listen to Shelby voice all of her concerns. 

“What if I hurt you?” Shelby looked genuinely terrified at the thought of hurting Toni, which melted Toni’s heart completely, before she could say anything, Shelby continued. “I’ve hurt people before.” Shelby thought about Becca, her fear that she could somehow hurt Toni that deeply as well. “Very badly.” She added, shaking her head. 

Toni’s heart ached for her. She didn’t know all the things that haunted Shelby’s past, she could see now that it was something, something seemingly tragic. She would ask her one day, when they were closer, when they had figured each other out more. 

“I...” Shelby didn’t know if she was ready to tell Toni everything, but she might as well try. 

Toni had hurt people, too. She scared people. She broke things. Hearing Shelby bare her soul next to her when Toni carried so much weight of her own actions over the past few years, it made her want Shelby to know what had been on her mind for the past few hours. “What if our plane crashes, and what if we nosedive into the ocean and, you know, end up stranded, and what if we wind up lost and starving?” She looked back at Shelby. She wanted Shelby to know that she was in, for whatever this was, for whoever Shelby would be and had been. She wanted to work on herself and be better, a better friend, partner, lover, human being. She truly felt like this was their chance, all of their chances, really. “All of that already happened. The worst has already fucking happened.” 

Shelby smiled at Toni softly, suddenly completely unafraid. Toni was right. All that had already happened to her was the worst thing that could ever possibly happen to her. Her parents didn’t matter any more. Even if the girls did make it out of here, it didn’t matter. If she could survive without her family on an island in the middle of nowhere, then she could sure as hell do it somewhere with a bed and a bathtub. 

Toni continued, “I don’t think I’ve got it in me to get that scared about something that could be good.” Toni hugged her knees a little tighter. She did think Shelby could be something good. Selfishly, she thought Shelby would help her be a better person, at least give her a tangible reason to be better. But she also just thought that from the second they got on the plane that they had had a weird and very intense connection. Toni had thought it was hatred at first, a mutual disdain of everything the other stood for, but thinking back on it, it was an intense connection that was so much deeper than either of them could have ever prepared for. Toni had never been one for soulmates, but she definitely felt like she and Shelby were supposed to cross paths. 

Shelby looked at Toni, overwhelmed with relief. She thought this was the start of something good, too. Something she wanted desperately to explore. She reached out, running her fingers through Toni’s long ponytail, not wanting to be afraid anymore, not wanting to carry guilt any more. Wanting to spend every moment as happily as she had the night before. She cupped the side of Toni’s face, smiling when Toni tilted her head into her touch. Shelby leaned in to kiss her, not caring that Fatin could still be watching, not carrying that any of the girls could look up and see them. She wanted her mouth on Toni, so she kissed her. 

Toni uncurled herself from her knees, letting her hand tangle itself in Shelby’s hair. Her heart pounding in her chest, all of her own fears and worries about the night before being pushed away as Shelby pulled her in tighter. They broke their kiss, grinning at each other like idiots. Shelby risked a glance down at the other girls. No one seemed to have noticed them, Dot and Fatin were playing Uno, Rachel and Nora were still chilling on a rock, she didn’t actually see Leah, but Marty was looking off into the ocean deep in thought. 

Shelby bit her bottom lip, “Fatin kind of already knows something is going on between us.” She said, her voice quiet, nervous almost. 

Toni laughed and shrugged, “that actually doesn’t surprise me. She seems like someone who would pick up on that kind of thing.” 

Shelby looked nervous, “would you be mad if I said I didn’t really want anyone else to know yet?” She continued quickly, not wanting Toni to get the wrong idea, “not that I’m trying to hide you or us, I just… I want the opportunity to get comfortable with this for myself, without impacting group dynamics. You know? Like them get weird at night if I want to sleep…” She blushed at the thought, her mind drifting back to sleeping in Toni’s arms the night before. 

_They had laid there, naked, Shelby on top of Toni, just breathing and holding each other, occasionally exchanging gentle kisses. Shelby was starting to drift in and out of sleep when Toni had spoken, her voice still a little lower than normal and still a little rougher. “I think we might should pull our clothes back on.”_

_Shelby had stiffened at the words, trying to sit up, but being held in place by Toni’s arms, remembering after trying to tug against them, that Toni was an athlete and probably significantly stronger than she was. She could see the shit eating grin plastered to Toni’s face though._

_Toni continued, “I’m saying that in case the girls have deployed a search party, remember what happened when Fatin didn’t come home?”_

_Shelby sighed, Toni had a point._

_“Or what if Marty is still out here and has been searching for us for the past…” Toni lifted an arm checking a non-existent watch, “I don’t know four hours?”_

_Shelby laughed, Toni was genuinely hilarious, it made Shelby like her all the more._

_Toni chuckled, “also, there’s the whole… I don’t want a bug to crawl in my ass thing, that pants give me some semblance of hope that they won’t.”_

_Shelby sighed, “you’re probably right.”_

_They sat up and tugged their clothes back on. Toni laid back down first and held her arms open, that grin that Shelby had only seen today was locked in place. Shelby tucked herself back into Toni’s body, her head returning to Toni’s neck. She leaned up and kissed Toni’s jaw gently. “Goodnight, Toni,” She whispered._

_Shelby felt Toni smile, “goodnight, Shelby.” Toni whispered back, her eyes already heavy with sleep._

Toni smiled at the blonde, watching her get completely lost in thought, “in case you want to sleep completely on top of me snoring again?” She teased. 

Shelby looked up at her, her eyes wide with embarrassment, “I snore?” 

Toni threw her head back in a laugh, “only a little. To be fair, you were pretty tired after a long day of… hiking.” 

Shelby laughed with her and shook her head. “You snore too, actually.” She giggled. 

Toni laughed, “I know.” When Shelby’s brow furrowed, Toni realized that she thought Raegan must have told her that, but Toni had never actually slept in bed with Raegan. “Martha likes to remind me of that. She’s only told me that every morning for twenty-two of the twenty-three days we’ve been here.” Shelby visibly relaxed. “I see where you’re coming from about not wanting to mess up the dynamic until you're ready to handle all the questions they're sure to throw at us. I’m okay with not telling them all. But, would you mind if I told Martha?” Toni’s eyes searched Shelby’s, getting distracted by the green shining through today, “Jesus, your eyes are distracting.” 

Shelby laughed and closed them, “very well, carry-on. You were asking if you could tell--” her sentence was cut short by Toni’s lips on hers. She moaned happily into the kiss, her hands sliding to Toni’s waist, her fingertips brushing across Toni’s abs. 

Toni gasped and pulled back, biting her lip, her eyes drifting to the camp just below them, “we’re not doing a good job of keeping this a secret already.” She chuckled. “You want to go back and join the group before I rip your shirt off you, or do you want to disappear with me for a bit?” 

Shelby's eyes flashed open at Toni's question. “You can tell Martha, I’m not going to ask you to keep something from your best friend.” Shelby grinned at the surprised but happy look that crossed over Toni’s face. “And as to your other question…” She smirked, “I could use a bath, if you’d maybe want to accompany me over the waterfall?” 

Before Shelby could even finish her question, Toni was already standing and extending a hand down to help her up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holler at me on here or through tumblr (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/theycallmequeerhat) if there's anything you want to see from these two. Or if you just want to geek out with me over this show.
> 
> Thanks again for reading!  
> -EKH


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're on our own now. Let me know what you think. I'm open to any and all suggestions. 
> 
> I put it in the tags, but I'm not dealing with the shark attack.
> 
> I'm also not going to touch on Leah realizing Nora is an operative. If I keep going with this, I might work it in, but I'm just here to write some fluff and smut and hopefully bring a bit of joy to your new year.

“Who do you think is going to freak out the most?” Rachel asked, trying to hold back laughter. 

Leah shook her head frowning, “I have a piece of goat jerky that it’s Shelby.” 

Dot nodded, “I’ll take that bet. Toni’s not great in the mornings. Waking up to Camp Counselor Sunshine on top of her is sure to set her off.” 

Martha bit her lip, “should we maybe wake one of them up?” She was worried that Toni would rage. She knew she had told Toni she was done picking up the pieces of her anger, but Toni was still her best friend. She didn’t want her to blow up if it could be avoided. 

Fatin sighed, “god, I wish I had a camera.” She knew that something was going on between them, but she still hadn’t expected the gift that had been this morning. 

“There is no room for Jesus in that snuggle.” Nora said, her dry sense of humor making the whole group laugh. 

The laughter from the other girls is what pulled Shelby from the wonderful dream she was having. A dream that involved Toni and the lychee tree and waking up in Toni’s arms. Only that last bit, Shelby realized, keeping her eyes closed tight, was not a dream. She was actually in Toni’s arms. But they weren’t under the lychee tree, they were on the beach, in their camp, and the other girls were all awake. Shelby picked up bits of their conversation. They were all speculating over the blow up that would occur when the seemingly homophobic girl woke up in the arms of a lesbian. Shelby cringed. She hated that they all thought of her that way. She knew they were going to have questions when she and Toni finally told them that something was going on between them. Shelby didn’t want to face that yet, she was so warm in Toni’s arms and felt so safe and secure, so she let her mind slip back to the day before. Maybe the others would just move along eventually. 

_As soon as Shelby and Toni were off that cliff and away from the potential eyes of the other girls, Shelby had grabbed Toni’s hand. She could feel the calluses Toni had on her palm and she wondered what Toni had done to earn them. She wondered if they were from before the plane crash or if Toni had earned them here. Toni spread her fingers out, interlacing them with Shelby’s. They smiled at each other, but didn’t say anything, walking in silence towards the waterfall._

_Shelby could feel the tension building in her own body. The thought of being alone with Toni in the water was overwhelming. She had to get her mind off of it or they might not even make it there, Shelby might just yank Toni down and jump her right there. Something about the night before had lit a fire in Shelby and after her talk with Toni on the cliff, she had decided she was going to give into her desires. Just let herself be, hell figure out who she really was. This was the golden opportunity to do it. To distract herself, she decided to continue their question game from the day before, “what’s your last name?”_

_Toni smiled at her, “Shalifoe.”_

_“Shalifoe.” Shelby repeated. For some reason it made Toni blush to hear Shelby say it._

_Toni nodded._

_“Do you have a middle name?” Shelby asked, trying to keep the conversation going._

_Toni bit her bottom lip, “yeah, I have a middle name.”_

_Shelby tugged on Toni’s hand, “are you going to tell me what it is?”_

_Toni laughed, “are you going to tell me yours?”_

_“Faith.”_

_“Shelby Faith Goodkind.” Toni smiled her smile that she only smiled around Shelby. “I like it.” They walked in silence for a few minutes, Toni sighed. “My middle name is Elizabeth. Not even Martha knows that.” She added, her voice low, barely above a whisper._

_“Toni Elizabeth Shalifoe.” Shelby smiled, “It’s cute, why doesn’t Martha know it?”_

_Toni stopped walking, running her fingers through her hair with her free hand. “My mom. Well, I’ve told you a little bit about her, but when I was little and she had me, like in between the whole…. You know,” Toni gestured nervously with her free hand, “anyways, she called me Toni Beth. Always. Like it was one word. Tonibeth.” Toni chuckled. “I guess, I just have that one memory of her that doesn’t suck. You know? Like a little bit of good. Something between us that wasn’t child endangerment or abusive boyfriends of hers who she’d leave me with when she was too doped up to remember she had brought me along.” Toni started walking again, pulling Shelby along gently, the blonde still too focused on Toni’s story._

_Shelby couldn’t imagine it, she wanted to wrap Toni up in a big hug and kiss away the hurt of her childhood. She thought about the rage that seemed to constantly simmer inside of Toni, the slightest push causing it to boil over. She was starting to see why, why she always ran so hot all the time._

_Toni shook it off, not wanting to let herself get lost in memories from her childhood, painful ones that she didn’t feel like confronting right now. “Tell me about you? Like pageants.” Toni smiled at her, “how’d you get into that sort of thing?”_

_Shelby chuckled, but Toni continued._

_“I mean were you just like, damn, I’m so beautiful I should get trophies for it, or?”_

_Shelby threw her head back in a laugh, she stopped walking and locked eyes with Toni “you’re ridiculous, Toni Shalifoe.”_

_There was something about Shelby using her full name that sent a spark through Toni. She closed the gap between them, her lips capturing Shelby’s in a blistering kiss. Toni liked that Shelby was a little bit taller than she was, that she had to tilt her head up to kiss her. She also liked that Shelby’s hands immediately cradled her face when they kissed. Toni’s arms wrapped around Shelby’s waist, her fingertips edging up under the yellow shirt Shelby was still wearing from the day before._

_“We’re never going to make it to that waterfall if you keep kissing me like that.” Shelby whispered, resting her forehead on Toni’s._

_Toni also liked how when Shelby was kind of out of breath, her accent got even thicker. It had annoyed Toni at first, but after last night, it made her heart flutter. Toni grinned a mischievous grin at her, “that waterfall’s not going anywhere.”_

Toni stirred beneath Shelby, breaking her from her thoughts of the day before. She was going to have to think fast to figure out how to get them out of this one. Toni sighed in her sleep, her arms tightening around Shelby, holding her even tighter to her chest. 

“I think I’m going to wake Toni up.” Martha said to the rest of the group. “Maybe y’all should all go… I don’t know...” she gestured around the beach, “not be here when I do.” 

“Hell no, and miss the show?” Rachel said, crossing her arms. 

“This is the most fun I’ve had since we crashed here.” Fatin added. 

Martha sighed dramatically. “Alright, well, I’m waking Toni up.” She quietly walked over to where Toni and Shelby were sleeping, trying to assess the scene. Toni was flat on her back and Shelby was tucked up into her shoulder, her head on Toni’s chest, her leg thrown over Toni’s waist, her arm clutching Toni’s sweater. Toni had a death grip around Shelby, her hands linked tightly together on the small of Shelby’s back. 

Shelby heard Martha coming, but didn’t know what to do, so she just laid there and pretended to sleep. She wondered how Toni was going to react. The girls were all expecting a tirade. She didn’t want Toni to have to lie. The day before, she had asked her not to say anything, but she had never asked Toni to lie. It was one thing to volunteer personal information, it was another thing to lie when asked. She knew Toni planned to tell Martha today, actually. And now she knew Martha was on her way over here to wake Toni up. Shelby’s grip tightened on Toni’s sweater. She wasn’t going to put Toni in the position to face the rest of them alone, but she wanted to hold on to this moment for as long as she could. She let her thoughts drift to the day before, wanting one last happy memory before facing the questions that were sure to come. 

_Shelby bit her bottom lip. Toni was right, it’s not like they were in a rush. It wasn’t like there was anywhere for them to be. Shelby looked around them, a little nervous about how close they were to the camp, but very aware that since they headed straight for the waterfall from the cliff, no one else would take this route. If the whole of camp decided to go for a swim right now, they’d take a much shorter route to get there. Shelby returned Toni’s devious grin and pushed her back against a tree. Toni gasped softly when her back hit the tree. Her eyes searching Shelby’s, nothing but a brilliant gray-green and desire stared back at her. Shelby kissed Toni’s neck, her mouth going straight for the soft spot just below Toni’s ear that the brunette seemed to have enjoyed most the night before. Toni hummed with approval._

_Shelby undid the slipknot Toni had tied at the front of her joggers. Toni’s eyes widened, a low rumbled moan escaping her as Shelby’s hand slid into her waistband. “Can I?” Shelby whispered into Toni’s ear._

_“Yes.” Toni whispered back, her voice already breaking with need._

_Shelby let two of her fingers get coated in the wetness that was pooling between Toni’s legs before slipping them into her. Toni gasped, clinging to Shelby, trying to stay upright, leaning back against the tree for support and balance. She watched Shelby in complete disbelief as the blonde kissed down her collar bone, her hand lost below Toni’s waist line, two of her fingers sinking deep inside of her. She worked them in and out of Toni, feeling the girl tighten around her. Shelby had really enjoyed Toni making her orgasm the night before, but something that had surprised her the most was just how much she had enjoyed getting Toni off, too._

_Shelby pulled out, tracing over Toni’s clit, loving the sounds falling from Toni’s lips, Toni’s body bucking into her hand desperate for more contact._

_“Fuck, Shelby, I’m gonna come.” Toni whispered, her body already tensing. Shelby was putting just the right amount of pressure on Toni’s clit and was tracing over it in a way that was better than anything Toni had ever done to herself._

_Shelby captured Toni’s lips with her own, her tongue sliding into Toni’s mouth. Toni moaned into the kiss, her whole body shaking under Shelby’s touch, her fingertips digging into Shelby’s back. Shelby slowed her movements, loving that with each swipe across Toni’s center, she shuddered and moaned into Shelby’s mouth again. Their kiss transitioned from desperate to tender, their mouths working together more deliberately, less need and more want._

_Shelby pulled her hand out of Toni’s pants and broke their kiss, both the girls completely out of breath. Shelby chuckled and slid the two fingers that had just been in Toni into her own mouth. She winked and started walking away towards the waterfall, leaving Toni braced up against the tree, her mouth hanging open in complete disbelief._

_Shelby started skipping, singing a song that sounded vaguely familiar to Toni. She spun back, a gin locked into place, “You coming, Toni Shalifoe?” She spun back and kept skipping._

_Toni chuckled, her heart pounding in her chest, “Shelby Faith Goodkind, you’re gonna end me.” She muttered to herself, watching Shelby’s ass as she skipped away._

Martha leaned down to nudge Toni’s shoulder, but Shelby’s eyes fluttered open sleepily before she could. Martha took a step back, her eyes wide with concern. “Hey, Shelby.” She said softly, swallowing nervously. 

Shelby looked around, trying to gauge just how bad this looked, knowing that she was a terrible liar. It looked bad. She was practically on top of Toni again. She blinked a few times, feigning that she was just waking up. She tried to sit up, but Toni’s grip on her was too tight. Shelby blushed a deep shade of red, she could see all of the girls standing just a few feet away, bracing for what was to come. Shelby sighed, “Toni.” She said, tugging on Toni’s sweater. “Toni, let go.” Her voice was gentle, she didn’t want to wake Toni up and have her think she was being grumped at. 

Toni grumbled in her sleep, but didn’t loosen her grip. 

Shelby tugged again, “Come on, Toni.” She said, her voice still soft, “you’ve kind of got me in a death grip.” 

“Nah, babe, don’t get up. You’re so warm.” Toni’s hand slid up under the hem at the back of Shelby's shirt. Toni sighed contentedly in her sleep, pulling Shelby tight to her. 

What a time for Toni to start calling Shelby babe. What a time for Shelby to realize she really liked it. Shelby started to laugh, she couldn’t even find it in herself to be upset about it. 

The rest of the girls all lost it, the laughter they had been holding back for the better part of an hour boomed out of them. The laughter shook Toni from her sleep. Her eyes snapped open, she immediately let go of Shelby. Her eyes darted back and forth between the girls and Shelby. Her heart pounding in her chest. This must be what deer feel like, she thought. Her mind was too cloudy with sleep for her to come up with anything to say to excuse what she had just said or for the position they were just in. She had teased Shelby about this very thing just the day before and here they were. 

Shelby sat up and stared up at the sky. She took a deep breath and chuckled, her eyes falling back on a beautiful, bewildered, half asleep Toni. “Well, our little secret lasted for all of about twenty-four hours.” 

Toni blushed, a smile locking into place as all the other girls processed what Shelby had just said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't see them keeping their thing a secret for long. I feel like Martha's going to know, Toni's too soft lol. What are your theories?? 
> 
> We'll get to the waterfall in the next chapter, promise.
> 
> Thanks for reading, y'all! 
> 
> -Emily


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are the best! Thanks for reading and commenting. I've updated my number of chapters back to "?". If a plot ever develops in this we might find an ending, but for now, eh have some more fluff and smut. lol.

Shelby was silent as she and Dot walked through the trees collecting firewood for the camp. Dot was who she had worried most about finding out about her and Toni. She was the only one with a tangible connection to Shelby’s life off the island. Shelby wondered if she should even bother asking Dot to keep her secret when they made it home, or if she would even want it to remain a secret by then, if there ever even was a then.

She was thankful it was Dot she was paired with for firewood duty and not Fatin. She couldn’t even imagine what Fatin would have asked her if they had been alone after this morning. Shelby chuckled, not the world’s most graceful wake up. She blushed thinking about how Toni had called her babe and wondered for the thousandth time that day if she had meant it, like for Shelby, or if she had been dreaming. They hadn’t gotten a moment of peace after their big accidental debut so Shelby hadn’t gotten the chance to ask her about it. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dot asked, breaking the silence. 

Shelby blushed and looked away, “I don’t really even know what to say.” 

“I mean, you had a pretty solid stance on that kind of thing when Toni was eating mussels.” Dot said, her face looked concerned, not judgemental. Shelby, however, looked like she was about to throw up or cry. Dot couldn’t decide which would be worse. “Shelby, I’m not…” Dot stopped walking and turned to look at Shelby. Shelby looked like a puppy in trouble, her eyes staring down and the ground, biting her bottom lip, “I’m not mad or anything really, just that’s heavy, dude. I’ve seen you grow up, your dad is basically a mega pastor and you’re an award winning beauty pageanting, ordained youth minister.” 

Shelby sighed, her eyes filling with tears. “I know.” She said, her voice low and soft. “I just can’t fight it anymore. I don’t--” she swallowed nervously, “I don’t want to fight it anymore.” 

Dot nodded, “so you knew. Like all along, about yourself, you knew?” 

Shelby started picking up branches around them, just giving her hands something to do while she talked, “I mean, I really thought it would get better, or that Andrew and I would just, go through life and I would end up liking sex with him, and it wouldn’t matter that sometimes I thought women were stunning, or that I’ve watched The 100 too many times, or that I’ve touched myself to Wonder Woman.” 

Dot laughed at that. 

“I just, I thought it would eventually go away, or that I could pray myself out of it.” 

“So, this thing with Toni then…” Dot asked, following suit and starting to collect branches and sticks as well, “you just experimenting with her because you’re on an island with no adults around or any added social pressures? Or do you think this would be happening if y’all had met out in the real world?” 

Shelby thought about Toni, like really thought about Toni as a person. She would not have liked her at first. Her anger and rage and hate for seemingly no reason, but underneath it she was so, so soft and gentle. Her mind drifted to the day before at the waterfall. 

_Toni finally caught up to Shelby right as the path curved, opening up to the little wateringhole Fatin had discovered. Toni bumped shoulders with her, blushing when Shelby’s eyes dipped to her lips. Shelby kissed Toni gently and quickly, pulling back to pull her yellow mesh shirt up and over her head._

_Toni’s eyes drifted slowly down Shelby’s body, not even bothering to hide their wandering gaze. Shelby quickly pulled her bra off as well. She locked her gray-green eyes on Toni’s and tugged her khaki shorts down over her hips, taking her underwear off with them in one fell swoop. She blushed, warmth spreading over her chest as she watched Toni’s eyes drift back down her body, devouring the sight of her._

_If Toni thought Shelby was hot before, bold, confident, takes what she wants and holds nothing back Shelby was molten lava. Toni swallowed nervously, wanting to close the gap between them, but also wanting to let Shelby remain in complete control of the situation._

_Shelby turned and walked into the water, looking over her shoulder at Toni who’s eyes were fixed on her ass. She smiled when she saw Toni yank her pants down and tug her tank top and bra off as fast as possible, practically running into the water after her._

_Shelby had wasted no time once in the water before kissing Toni, she wanted her more than she could ever have dreamed she could want somebody. Shelby immediately wrapped her legs around Toni’s waist and her arms around her neck. Toni’s hands slid to Shelby’s ass, letting the water do all the heavy lifting. Shelby moaned when Toni squeezed. Toni kept them shallow enough water so that she could still stand, but deep enough that the water kept their bodies from being exposed._

_Shelby’s tongue hungrily explored Toni’s mouth, wanting desperately to somehow be impossibly closer to her. Toni’s hands ghosted up Shelby’s thighs which were still locked tight around her waist. Toni broke their kiss and licked up Shelby’s neck, drinking in the droplets of water that had splashed in their movements._

_They rested their foreheads together, their breathing too erratic to continue at the same pace as before. Toni’s eyes searched Shelby’s “this isn’t too much too fast is it?” Toni asked, her eyes sincere, full of concern._

_Shelby blushed, Toni was really sweet once she stopped hating a person. “For the first time in my life, I finally feel like my true self. So for me, this isn’t too fast. It took me seventeen years and one plane crash to get here.” Shelby’s eyes widened, “wait, are we moving too fast for you?” She relaxed her legs, moving to stand but Toni tightened her grip on her thighs._

_Toni laughed, “hang on there. No need to climb down, I was just checking on you.” When Shelby locked her ankles back behind Toni, Toni relaxed her grip. “Trying to not be a tree flinging asshole, that’s all.”_

_Shelby chuckled, “you’re still technically a tree-flinging a-hole.” She kissed Toni gently, tenderly, “but at least you’re a very thoughtful tree-flinging a-hole.”_

_“That’s fair.” Toni said a soft smile on her lips, “I’m sorry. For my anger. I know I’ve not been…”_

_Shelby kissed her, much rougher than before, stopping Toni’s rambling apology on her lips. They had both done wrong since crash landing there, both had plenty to apologize for, but Shelby’s heart was melting at Toni’s tenderness and their apologies could wait. “Make it up to me?” Shelby said, raising an eyebrow suggestively._

_Toni’s eyes widened, caught off guard by Shelby’s boldness again. She didn’t need to be told twice. “Yes, ma’am.” She said, imitating Shelby’s southern twang before capturing Shelby’s lips with her own._

Shelby smiled, looking at Dot apologetically for getting lost in her thoughts. “If I had gotten to know Toni in the real world, I would definitely have a thing for her.” 

Dot laughed, “well, then. I support y’all one hundred percent.” 

When Dot and Shelby made it back to the campsite, she looked around for Toni, but didn’t see her anywhere. Toni was on water fetching duty with Martha, so she would probably be gone for most of the morning. She grabbed a handful of lychees and lounged back near the campfire, leaned up against a driftwood log. Fatin plopped down across from her almost immediately. 

“Soooooo…” Fatin said, “this morning was exciting, babe.” 

Shelby sighed, of course today of all days was Fatin’s day of the week to not have a chore. “Thanks for your advice yesterday.” Shelby said, hoping they could talk about something else. Then she realized that she and Fatin were completely opposite people and that there wasn’t really anything else for them to be talking about. 

“Yeah, whatever. Now that everyone knows, can I pleeeeeease have the dirty details?” 

Leah sat down around the fire as well, “are you trying to get the full story out of her?” she asked Fatin. 

“Yeah, but nothing yet.” Fatin said. 

Leah didn’t like it when people pried into her personal life, but she was really curious as to how Toni and Shelby of all people happened. She had figured if any two were going to hook up on the island it was going to be Toni and Fatin. Fatin driven to lesbianism due to sheer orgasm starvation and Toni because, well Fatin was hot and Toni was gay and had only ever mentioned an ex, so why not. Shelby had been the last person Leah would have expected to hook up with someone on the island. “I thought you guys really hated each other.” 

Shelby blushed. “I never said I hate her. I said repeatedly that I had no hate in my heart.” 

Leah frowned, “okay, I thought she hated you, though.” 

Fatin grinned, “have y’all had sex? Was it like angry hate sex?” She grinned at Leah, “that’s the best.” 

Shelby covered her face with her hands, “no, we did not have hate sex.” 

Leah and Fatin’s eyes widened, they spoke at the same time, “but did you have sex?” 

Shelby looked around the beach, her only real friend ever had been Becca and now… she realized painfully in that moment that she didn’t have any real friends. She didn’t want to share all of her and Toni’s private moments, but she was longing to share. She didn’t want them to all think of her as the bible thumping homophobe who only knew how to get to know people on a surface level through ice-breakers. She bit her bottom lip, blushing, her thoughts flashing back to the day before. 

_“What do you want?” Toni asked, her voice thick with desire, her eyes darker, her lips were swollen and pink from kissing Shelby for who knows how long. They had gotten lost in each other. Shelby had no clue how long they had been kissing in the water, but she knew her fingers were starting to get pruny._

_She blushed, knowing that Toni was looking for a real answer, not a cheesy ‘you,’ or ‘this,’ but actual direction. She wanted Shelby to vocalize her desires, she wanted to give Shelby exactly what she wanted. Shelby licked her lips, nervous to put words to her thoughts. Shelby’s eyes locked on Toni’s holding her gaze, “I want you in me.”_

_Toni nodded, her right hand snaking in between them. Shelby relaxed her legs around Toni’s waist and Toni slid two fingers through Shelby’s center. Toni gasped at just how distinguishable Shelby’s wetness was from the wetness of the water. She soaked her fingers in it before pushing them into Shelby gently._

_Shelby’s mouth fell open, a small moan escaping her lips, but she held Toni’s gaze. Toni curled her fingers inside Shelby, letting her thumb trace over Shelby’s clit. Toni forgot how to breathe. There was something so powerful in Shelby holding eye contact with her as her fingers slipped in and out of her. “Is it okay?” Toni asked._

_“Yes.” Shelby whispered, her voice breathy._

_Toni wondered if it was possible to orgasm without ever being touched. She thought for sure Shelby's eyes could driver her over the edge._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, determined to keep her eyes on Toni, wanting to stay completely present in this moment with her, wanting even more of her if that was possible._

_It was if Toni could sense her thoughts. “What is it?” Toni asked, her fingers never stopping._

_“More?” Shelby asked, her eyebrows knitting together, hoping desperately that Toni would know what she meant when she wasn’t even sure herself._

_Toni nodded, she slid her two fingers out of Shelby almost all the way, adding a third before pushing back in. Shelby gasped, her fingers tightened in Toni’s hair. “Too much?” Toni asked her eyes filled with concern. The last thing she wanted was to hurt the woman in her arms._

_Shelby shook her head, no. “No, it’s perfect.”_

_Toni stayed still, letting Shelby adjust to her added finger. She waited until Shelby had relaxed around them before curling them all and thrusting. Within minutes Shelby’s whole body tightened around Toni, contracting the point Toni could barely move her fingers inside her. Toni swiped her thumb over Shelby’s clit, pushing her over the edge, her other arm holding Shelby tight to her as Shelby’s whole body shook. Shelby did her best to keep her eyes locked on Toni. Watching Toni’s expressive eyes fill with tenderness as she worked Shelby down._

_Shelby tugged her into a kiss. Toni’s fingers were still buried deep in her, her body still too tight around them for Toni to ever try and pull them free._

Shelby cleared her throat, shrugging, “yes.” She said finally, her eyes flashing from Leah’s to Fatin’s trying to gauge their reactions. “We’ve had sex.” 

“Holy shit.” Fatin practically yelled, “was it good? Tell me it was good. She looks like she knows what she’s doing.” Fatin gestured dramatically, “well… is she good in bed?” 

Shelby blushed, “I mean. We weren’t in a bed.” She bit her bottom lip, biting back a laugh. 

Leah coughed out a laugh, “okay, was she good on ground?” 

“I mean, I don’t have any other experience?” She furrowed her brows together, wondering if there was some sure fire way of determining if someone was good at sex. She had been so preoccupied with worrying about whether her soul would be stuck in hell for all eternity she hadn’t bothered to worry if she had been any good at it. “How do you know if it was any good?” 

Leah laughed, “I mean, did you orgasm?” 

Shelby blushed, fighting the smile that was tugging at the corners of her mouth. 

Fatin whacked Shelby’s arm, “holy shit, multiple times?” 

“Uh… yeah.” Shelby bit her bottom lip. 

Leah sighed, “she’s ruined you. Nothing is ever going to compare. You had super hot deserted island sex. Apparently, several times.” 

Fatin nodded, “yeah, you two might as well bone as often as possible for the rest of the time you’re here. That’s like on people’s bucket list and shit. I am so jealous and so happy for you all at the same time.” 

Shelby blushed and hugged her knees. Her heart swelled at the fact that Toni had orgasmed multiple times as well. Just then, Toni and Martha came into view and Shelby’s heart fluttered in her chest. Toni looked at her and grinned, that smile she reserved for Shelby only. 

Toni sat down on the ground next to Shelby. “Hey, babe.” She said, her voice tender as she spaced her half of the water bottles around the fire to boil. Fatin, Leah, and Martha all whooped, “baaaabe.” They all parroted in unison back at her. 

Toni flicked them all off, laughing with them as she leaned back against the driftwood behind her. 

Shelby smiled, a full real smile. She slid her hand into Toni’s. She did intend to bone Toni as much as humanly possible while they were on the island. She bit her bottom lip at the thought, and if they somehow ever made it out of here, she was determined to find out just how good she was _in bed_ , too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any plots or ideas or things y'all want to see them do, let me know. This is all for fun at this point lol. 
> 
> Hope everyone is having a happy Tuesday,
> 
> Em


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are the best. I'm having the most fun with this. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Let me know what you think about chapter seven.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy,  
> Em

Shelby was anxious to get through her chore for the day, and it wasn’t just because laundry day was her least favorite chore of the bunch, but because it was Toni’s free day today. More than just that, Toni was off today and had acted weird all morning. Shelby couldn’t help but wonder if she had missed something. Sure, the day before had gotten a little weird, what with all the girls constantly asking them questions and making embarrassing comments about them, but by the time they had finally fallen asleep, Toni had really seemed fine. Shelby really didn’t know why all morning it had seemed like Toni wanted her to go start her laundry so badly.

Shelby thought back to the day before, when Toni had gotten tired of Fatin’s pestering personal questions and the group constantly oohing and aahing over every one of their interactions. It was starting to get to Shelby and she could feel how tense it was starting to make Toni. She had been pleasantly surprised when Toni hadn’t snapped on Rachel. Rachel made a lewd comment about Toni already being pussy whipped, whatever that meant, and Toni had bristled, her jaw locked, and her eyes shot fire. Shelby could feel her grip tighten around her hand, but Toni had shrugged it off without so much as a word. Even Martha had looked concerned and relieved when the conversation had changed. It was around the time Leah had begged for a new round of ‘never have I ever since’ things could get so much more interesting now that Shelby had joined the dark side, that Toni stood up and walked away from the campfire. 

Shelby wrung out a shirt, still thinking back to this morning and how weird Toni had acted. When Shelby had gone to get some of the lychees for breakfast, she saw Toni corner Fatin far away from the rest of the girls. Fatin had smiled and laughed, but her eyes had shot to Shelby and the look on her face had left Shelby with a bad taste in her mouth. She really trusted Toni, but there was something in the look in Fatin’s eyes that had shot a pang of jealousy right through Shelby’s core. She tried her best to push the thought aside, telling herself that Toni wasn’t a cheater like Andrew was. She twisted a shirt tighter than she should have, probably stretching it, even when Dot had told her about Andrew’s cheating, she hadn’t felt jealous. Embarrassed maybe, her pride a little wounded, but not jealous. And here she was, seventy-two hours into whatever it was that she was doing with Toni and she was stretching shirts in a jealous fit? Shelby sighed, there’s no way they could have been saying anything flirty. It wouldn’t make any sense. Shelby bit her lip, trying to think back if she could have missed anything from the evening before. 

_After storming away from the campfire, Toni had walked into the woods just beyond the tree line and sat down at the base of a tree. She absentmindedly played with the dirt in front of her. Shelby had followed after her immediately. Thankfully, no one had bothered Shelby about it. They had actually all apologized as she walked off after Toni, knowing that they had probably all been too much._

_Toni’s eyes had lightened when they saw that Shelby had followed, but her jaw was still tense. “Hey.” She said, her voice small._

_Shelby smiled at her and sat down in front of her, “hey.”_

_Toni focused on the dirt in front of her. “I’m sorry.” She said her voice barely above a whisper._

_Shelby frowned, Toni hadn’t said a single thing that was even remotely rude. She had gotten more tense and more tense as the day had worn on, but she never said a single thing that was rude or snarky to anyone. “Why are you sorry?” Shelby lifted Toni’s chin, “Toni, sweetie, you didn’t do anything wrong.”_

_Toni blushed when Shelby called her sweetie, the thick southern accent making her heart skip a beat. “I shouldn’t let them bug me so much.” She sighed, “I know they’re all happy for us, and I’m glad they know, but fuck. Can they back off for like a second? Like Leah with that never have I ever bullshit. She doesn’t need to be all up in your business like that.”_

_Shelby blushed, realizing that Toni had handled all the shit thrown at her just fine, but the second they had turned to tease Shelby, Toni had had to walk away to keep from fighting them. She didn’t want to encourage Toni’s rage, but never in her life had anyone been so protective over her. “Am I allowed to kiss you when you’re mad? Or will that make things worse?” Shelby’s eyes were sincere. She wasn’t teasing Toni, she just didn’t want to push a boundary she might not know. Some people hated hugs when they were mad, Toni could very easily be one of those people._

_Toni frowned, fighting a smile, Shelby’s concerned look breaking her angry resolve. “I’d take a kiss.”_

_Shelby leaned forward and kissed her, it was gentle and sweet. “Thank you for not going off on Leah.” She said, her face still inches from Toni’s. She kissed her again, “but also, thank you for caring about how I’m feeling. And for not wanting them to pressure me into doing or saying more than I’m comfortable with.” She peppered Toni’s cheeks with kisses._

_Toni started to chuckle, “alright,” she sighed dramatically, “damnit Goodkind, you’ve worn me down.”_

_“Whoah.” Shelby looked genuinely surprised, “you’re really not mad anymore?”_

_“Solidly down to frustrated.” Toni said, her eyes still weren’t smiling, but her jaw had relaxed._

_Shelby watched Toni’s eyes as Toni resumed her playing in the dirt. It was a funny habit Shelby had noticed long before she had ever kissed Toni, but Toni was always playing in the dirt. Shelby thought about a question Leah had asked her earlier in the day that Toni had missed while talking to Martha. Leah had asked what they were. Like dating or girlfriends or just fuck buddies and it had sent Shelby’s brain into another tailspin. Now that she was finally alone with Toni again, she wanted to ask, but didn’t want to push Toni if she was already in a mood._

_“You okay?” Toni asked._

_Shelby frowned, “I followed you out here to check on you, not the other way around.”_

_Toni smiled, “yeah, but I can still ask. Are you doing okay? Like with all the,” Toni made the cross motion, and then pushed her palms together like in prayer._

_Shelby sighed, “I don’t know. I’m struggling with that. I haven’t prayed since the morning after the lychee tree.”_

_Toni nodded, her eyes serious and full of concern. “It doesn’t bother me, you know. You can. You don’t have to stop. I don’t want you to feel like just because I don’t believe in organized religions that I’ll get mad at you for yours.” She sighed, “despite my previous behavior or hateful comments.”_

_Shelby’s eyes softened, Toni would never cease to amaze her. She realized then that Toni was probably overthinking everything as much as she was just from the opposite spectrum. Her fears on what would happen if they got rescued were probably also flying through Toni’s brain. Her fear about her soul, clearly had Toni worried for her sanity. She cupped Toni’s cheek. Toni leaned into it. “Hey, Toni?”_

_“Hmm?”_

_“Leah did ask me something today that kind of got me thinking.”_

_Toni frowned, her mind flashing back to the campfire. “Okay…”_

_“Umm.. what are we? Like what is this to you? Is this like a ‘what happens on the island stays on the island’ kind of thing? Or are we a couple now?” Shelby blushed, her hands fluttering with nerves,_

_Toni’s eyes widened, she choked back laughter._

_Shelby blushed and frowned._

_“No, no, Shelby I’m sorry. Babe…” Toni locked eyes with her, “I’m sorry. There’s just this joke amongst lesbians. You’ve heard of u-haling, right?”_

_Shelby shook her head no, she was feeling rather embarrassed._

_“Hey, no.” Toni tugged Shelby to her, twisting her effortlessly so that Shelby’s back was up against her front, Toni’s arms wrapped around her. “I’m not making fun. I’ll tell you the joke later. It’s okay.” Toni kissed her cheek, “I don’t know what we are.” She whispered. “I told myself I was going to let you make that your call. That this was all new to you, not me. I told you I wasn’t going to be scared of something good, remember?”_

_Shelby nodded, looking up over her shoulder and kissing Toni’s jaw. She leaned her head back on Toni’s shoulder. That hadn’t answered her question, but she knew it meant that Toni was going to let her make that choice. They rested like that for a while, Shelby leaned back into Toni, who was leaned back against the tree. Shelby finally said, her voice full of emotion, “I don’t want this to just be an island fling.”_

_Toni’s arms held her a little tighter. “Okay.” She could hear a smile on Toni’s lips._

_“So, what does that make us?”_

_Toni shrugged, “talking?”_

_“Obviously we’re talking Toni, I meant, like as an us not as in what are we doing.”_

_Toni frowned, “yeah, I meant as an us? Like you see a girl you like her. She likes you. Now you’re talking. Next would be dating. Then it’d be girlfriends.”_

_Shelby returned the frown, “since when?”_

_Toni shrugged._

_“So if I go back there and tell them that we’re talking, they’ll follow?”_

_Toni nodded, “yeah.”_

_“Is talking better than fuck buddies?”_

_Toni’s eyes widened, “Shelby Faith Goodkind, did you just say the fuck word?”_

_Shelby blushed. Toni pulled her into a kiss, a deep kiss, a kiss that pushed any fear that Shelby had about them out of her mind. Shelby spun around to face Toni, their legs all pretzeled together. “Since we’re on the topic. Will you?”_

_Toni frowned, confused, her mind still fuzzy from their kissing, “wait, will I what?”_

_Shelby bit her bottom lip and leaned backwards away from Toni, so that she was on her back on the forest floor, “fuck me?”_

Shelby wrung out another shirt. Nothing from the night before made any sense as to why Toni would be acting so weird this morning. Shelby quickly finished up, knowing she had not done the world's best job and that Rachel would probably give her shit for it tomorrow, but she didn’t care. She practically ran back into camp. 

She looked around for Toni who was nowhere to be seen. Fatin and Leah were also missing. Shelby tensed, her mind swirled. That feeling of jealousy creeping back up. She knew, logically knew that she had no reason to stress other than the fact that Fatin had volunteered to be the next tribute for Toni should things not work out between them. Fortunately, Martha saw Shelby searching. “Hey, Shelby.” She called, the old friendly, no longer mad that Shelby had been homophobic, kind of hey. She patted the log next to where she was sitting. 

“Hey, Martha.” She said, smiling, but knowing it wasn’t her normal smile. 

“Toni and Fatin and Leah will be back really soon.” Martha said, smiling, “If you were wondering. 

Shelby nodded, “oh, you know, just a little I thought maybe Toni would want to hang out today when I finished up.” She joined Marty on the long and tucked her legs up, hugging herself. 

Martha laughed, “I can promise you she does.” Martha ran her fingers through Shelby’s hair. “So, I’m not a beauty stylist or expert, but I’ve cut my sisters’ hair before. Do you want me to try and even this up?” 

Shelby blushed. It would be the shortest her hair had ever been, but she knew it would look so much better. She thought back to Toni’s kindergartener’s cutting her hair joke. “Yeah, that would be okay.” 

Martha went and grabbed Fatin’s brush and scissors from the stockpile and started to comb out Shelby’s hair, gently, from the bottom up. It wasn’t iron smooth, or silky, or clean, like Shelby would have done it at home, but it was a big improvement. Martha cut her hair in a straight line, making sure everything was even. She smiled at her handiwork. “Much better.” 

Shelby blushed. “Thanks, Marty.” 

Marty grinned at her, “so, they left me to be really smooth about this next bit and uhh… didn’t really tell me how.” 

Shelby frowned and tilted her head. “Marty, what are you talking about?” 

“I’m supposed to get you to get dressed in something nice and clean.” Martha smiled at her and nodded towards Fatin’s open suitcase. 

“But what--” 

Martha shook her head and zipped her lips. 

Shelby sighed, but went to the suitcase. She grabbed a pair of Fatin’s light wash jeans and rummaged through the bag of clothes. Toni’s navy blue sweater with gold elbow patches was there, fresh for the taking. A smile crossed Shelby’s lips. She quickly changed behind the rock they all used. 

Despite having washed this sweater in the ocean and in the wateringhole, it still smelled like Toni. She couldn’t help but to inhale that scent deeply. The smell alone pulled her thoughts back to the night before. 

__

_Toni kissed down Shelby’s neck, rougher than she ever had before. They no longer had anything to hide, and the way Toni was sucking on the pulse point below Shelby’s ear, made Shelby want to feel claimed. Toni’s teeth traced over Shelby’s supple flesh. Shelby moaned when Toni finally bit into her, her whole body arching up, hungry for more contact. She had meant it when she told Toni she wanted to be fucked and Toni seemed oh so happy to oblige._

_Toni’s hands pulled Shelby’s shirt up and over her head before Shelby had even registered. Toni’s mouth immediately tracing down her collar bone, her hands undoing Shelby’s shorts and sliding down through her wetness. Shelby gasped. She had craved Toni all day, wanting her to take her just like this, she spread her legs allowing Toni to push into her with two fingers. Toni’s eyes searched Shelby’s for any hint of doubt or fear. When she found only desire and need, Toni pushed deeper into her than she had before and pulled out faster._

_Shelby tugged on the front of Toni’s shirt, pulling her mouth down to meet hers, her hips rising and falling with the same speed as Toni’s thrusts. She couldn’t take it, she needed to feel how wet Toni was, too. She slipped her hand into Toni’s pants, “can I?” She asked, breathless and desperate._

_Toni nodded, “yes.” It was a moan unlike Shelby had ever produced from her. Two of her fingers sliding into Toni, both filling each other simultaneously. Their pace was fast and wild, but it was a rhythm they had found together. Shelby’s free hand clutched Toni’s back, up under Toni’s shirt, her nails dragging down Toni’s back. Toni moaned again, her voice guttural and full of desire. Shelby knew that would leave a mark, but she wanted it. She had spent her whole life avoiding this, not wanting anyone to think she was anything other than perfect, and now, now she didn’t want anything to think she was anything other than Toni’s._

_Toni sucked on her neck, her teeth against Shelby’s skin just on the right side of pleasure. Shelby felt her own body start to tighten, the muscles in her stomach clenched tight. She wanted to hang on, she wanted Toni to come at the same time as her, a new kind of release together. “Babe, I’m so close.” She practically whined into Toni’s ear._

_That was the last push Toni needed. Shelby felt the first flutter inside Toni and her heart stopped. They came together, shuddering and frantic, their fingers deep inside each other, their forearms burning from exertion._

_When they had stopped shaking, Toni pulled out of Shelby and moaned as Shelby pulled out of her. Instead of laying to Shelby’s side, Toni just lowered her body down on top of Shelby, her head resting on Shelby’s chest, the reverse of how they usually lay together. Toni listened to the sound of Shelby’s heart beating as the rhythm started to slow back to a normal pace. “Wow.” Toni whispered, with a chuckle._

_Shelby held her to her tightly, letting her fingers run through Toni’s dark wavy hair._

Shelby finally returned from changing, as soon as she rounded the corner, she saw Toni standing awkwardly by the campfire. Toni was in Leah’s cactus button down shirt, tucked into Fatin’s other pair of jeans that were a little too long for her and a little tighter than Shelby would have imagined Toni would have picked off the island. They were cuffed at the bottom a few times so Toni wouldn’t trip. Toni’s hair was pulled back into a neat french braid and her hands were filled with fresh picked flowers. The other girls were watching rather obviously, giggling from less than a hundred feet away. 

Shelby bit her lip, confused. “What’s going on?” 

Toni smiled at her, her special smile, “can I take you on a date?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and if there's anything you want to see coming up!!
> 
> I can't thank you enough for reading!
> 
> -Em


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist: the smut is not in the flashback back in this chapter. Weird, I know. Hope you like this chapter regardless.

Shelby woke up to the sounds of birds chirping overhead. Her head on the one pillow they had amongst them. She could feel a very warm Toni pressed into her back. She sighed contentedly and tried to scootch back even tighter to her. The arm Toni had draped over her waist tightened, holding Shelby to her. Shelby smiled when she realized that Toni's hand was resting on her stomach, up under her sweater. She could lay like this with Toni forever, enjoying the sounds of the birds and the distant sounds of the ocean. She didn’t even care that she was on an island and didn’t know if they’d get more than a strip of goat jerky to eat for the day, this was the happiest she had ever been. Shelby hummed an old Deana Carter song to herself, one that her mom used to blast on the radio.

Toni murmured behind her and buried her face deeper into Shelby’s neck, inhaling deeply. “That sounds vaguely familiar.” Her voice was rumbly and low, coated thick with sleep. It made the butterflies in Shelby’s stomach flutter. 

Shelby laughed, “it’s just an old country song my mom used to play.” 

“How’s it go?” Toni asked, her hand pulling Shelby impossibly closer. 

Shelby rolled over to face Toni, blushing when she saw the sleepy smile on Toni’s face, her eyes still closed, she was still half asleep. “Are you trying to get me to sing again?” 

“Yep.” Toni said, the smile growing bigger. 

Shelby rolled on to her back, feeling like it’d be easier to belt an old almost sad love song out if she didn’t have to face Toni while she sang Strawberry Wine all the way through. Toni’s hand stayed tucked into her shirt, her palm flat on Shelby’s abs. Before the song was over, Toni was propped up on her elbow, watching Shelby sing, a smile locked into place. When Shelby finished singing she blushed and ducked under the little half blanket Toni had brought them, but Toni tugged the blanket back down, leaning in to kiss Shelby gently. 

“That was beautiful. You’re amazing.” Toni’s eyes were intense and full of passion. 

Shelby blushed even deeper. She was used to getting compliments on her singing, on her dresses, on everything pageant related, but there was something in the way that Toni complimented her that was overwhelming. She had never felt so appreciated, so seen. It was like there was nothing hollow in it, nothing fake or designed, nothing needed in return. She wondered if it was because Toni seemed to so rarely let people in and when she did, she was so thoughtful, “I don’t want to go back to camp.” Shelby admitted. “I don’t want to be on water duty.” She laughed. “I want to spend all day here with you.” 

“Well that’s good.” Toni said, rolling herself on top of Shelby. “I might have convinced Dot to cover your water duty and Leah to do my half of the firewood collection.” Shelby’s eyes widened. “How did you do that?” She giggled as Toni kissed down her neck. 

“I took Dot’s next fire duty.” Toni shrugged, “it falls on my day off so it was an easy trade and I know that she hates fire duty. And I think Leah just felt bad about being too much the other night and for the whole accusing you of being a secret operative, so she said she’d collect firewood alone no problem.” 

“Toni Shalifoe, are you secretly the most romantic person on the planet?” 

Toni laughed, blushing, “well, duh. I thought last night won me that title.” 

“You are dangerously cocky,” Shelby laughed, her mind drifting back to their date the night before. 

_Toni had led Shelby up a ways through the woods away from camp. Shelby held Toni’s hand in one and the flowers in the other the whole way. Toni would pause to hold branches back for her when they covered the path, the whole time, shooting her happy, playful smiles. It hadn’t taken them long at all to come to a small clearing. The first thing that Shelby noticed was that it was a very man made clearing. In it, there was a small fire pit dug into the ground with dried wood stacked neatly nearby, ready to be lit, the one Dawn of Eve blanket was spread out like a picnic blanket next to it and the one pillow was there for them. There were also two of the water bottles, the vodka bottle, and what looked like two big leafs full of lychee berries and goat jerky._

_Toni quickly lit the fire and stuffed the lighter back into her jeans pocket. She blushed as Shelby took it all in._

_“Toni, I--” Shelby was speechless. This would have been a romantic date even if they hadn’t been on the island, but for Toni to have pulled it off that morning while she had done laundry was something else entirely. “How?”_

_Toni chuckled, “I just got with Fatin this morning and told her my idea. She got word to everyone else so you wouldn’t get suspicious. Then the second you went to do the laundry, we kind of all sprung into action.”_

_Shelby thought back to how jealous she had been of Fatin all morning. She flinched when she realized that not only had it all been wildly unfounded, but that Fatin had helped mastermind the whole thing. Then she realized Toni had said everyone else, “Wait, everyone helped?”_

_Toni nodded, “yeah. I mean… you know the whole, this is the most exciting thing happening on the island, thing… Plus, everyone is really stoked you’re figuring out who you are, and then there was this bit Martha was going on about how I never ask people for help and I asked, so they were damn sure going to come through.” Toni blushed at the last bit. “Is it okay?”_

_Shelby’s eyes watered, “okay? Sweetie, this is like, the cutest thing ever.”_

_Toni grinned, looking away embarrassed. “I like it when you call me that.”_

_Shelby tilted her head, “sweetie?”_

_Toni nodded, biting her bottom lip, “yep.” Toni grabbed Shelby’s hand again and led her over the blanket. “Dot and Rachel did the fire pit, Nora made sure the rest of this area was clear, like no extra branches and shit--she said something about it being an important often overlooked part of a good picnic--Martha did my hair, Leah picked the flowers, and Fatin did my makeup.” Toni blushed, “I’ve never worn makeup before.” She let out a laugh, “well, I went through a real eyeliner and black fingernails phase when I was like thirteen, but after that.” Toni paused, her eyes searching Shelby’s, “oh, no. The makeup’s too much, she swore to me she wouldn’t use any sparkles, and that it would only enhance.”_

_Shelby laughed and cut off Toni’s ramble with a kiss. “It looks good. There are no sparkles. You have really killer eyelashes, actually.” The setting sun was hitting Toni’s eyes just right and they were a beautiful golden brown. Shelby found herself getting lost in them. “How’d you get this scar?” She asked, touching the bridge of Toni’s nose._

_Toni smiled softly as she passed out their dinner, “I was about ten, and I was living with my grandmother at the time. One of the neighbors kids had gotten a new skateboard for their birthday and they threw out their old one. I had snuck over late at night to snag it out of their trash.” Toni chuckled, peeling one of the lychees. “Anyways, I didn’t want them to see that I took their trashed skateboard, so like in the middle of the night I ran three streets over and thought I was so cool on this skateboard.”_

_Shelby laughed with her, her eyes watching Toni’s face, noticing how the more she got Toni to tell her about her life, the less tense she seemed to be about sharing. “Well?” Shelby asked when Toni chose to eat a lychee instead of finishing her story._

_“Well, I hit a rock.” Toni laughed, “and I face planted. I got in so much trouble. Haven’t skateboarded since.”_

_“I didn’t know you had lived with your grandmother.”_

_Toni nodded, her face darkening. “Yeah,” she said quietly, “that’s how it was at first. My mom would go on a bender and my grandma would find out that I had been left alone for a few days and she would come get me.” Her eyes flashed to Shelby’s and then away, she cleared her throat, “finally we just moved in with her. She passed away just a couple of weeks after that skateboard wreck, actually.”_

_Shelby lifted Toni’s chin, her eyes meeting Toni’s. The warmth between them was more than Shelby could ever have said. Toni kissed her, soft and slow, she never liked telling people about her life. Not even Martha knew all of the details, but here Shelby was, this southern beauty queen getting her to open up._

_They ate in silence for a few minutes, “I was mad after that.” Toni said finally._

_Shelby looked at her, knowing that this was something Martha didn’t even know. The reason why Toni ran hot all the time._

_Toni continued, “She uhhh.. She was the only person who ever made me feel safe. After that it was one nightmare after another. My mom moved us close to the res when I was about thirteen, and I met Marty, but those three years.” Toni’s eyes watered. “Clearly not over them. Even the past four, still been in and out of foster homes and I haven’t even talked to my mom in about a year and a half.”_

_Shelby grabbed her hand and offered her a small smile._

_Toni looked away, trying to keep herself from crying. “Okay, you go.” She said with a chuckle. “Tell me anything, what’s your favorite color? What’s your favorite subject in school? Who’s your best friend? Anything?”_

_Shelby inhaled sharply, “yellow.” For a second she almost answered the golden light brown of your eyes, but thought it would be too much. “Chemistry.” She blushed, she really just enjoyed learning. “And…” She went quiet. Toni had just let her in, she wasn’t going to get a better chance, “my best friend’s name was Becca Gilroy.” Tears welled up in Shelby’s eyes._

_Toni sat silently, holding Shelby’s hand as Shelby told her all that had happened with Becca. Shelby had cried, when she spoke. It even made Toni cry. When Shelby finished the story, Toni pulled her close to her, holding her tightly, running fingers through Shelby’s hair._

_“I just feel so damn guilty.” Shelby said finally after her tears had stopped._

_Toni shook her no. “Shelby, it sounds to me like the adults in our lives, Becca’s included, have put us in impossible situations and we’ve made a lot of choices that have been for self preservation. Babe,” Toni cupped Shelby’s cheek, “everything you did and said towards her was to protect yourself. That was to keep the roof over your own head, to keep yourself in your parents favor, to not lose your own life. You’re seventeen. You’re not a bad person and you’re sure as shit not at fault.”_

_Shelby knew in that moment that Toni Shalifoe had stolen her heart._

Toni tracing kisses down Shelby’s neck pulled Shelby back to the moment, “mmmm.. Sweetie, if you keep that up, that’s all we’re going to do today. Toni chuckled, her hands sliding up under her own sweater on Shelby’s body. “I was kind of hoping you’d be alright with that.” 

Shelby’s eyes widened, she nodded as Toni peppered kisses across her stomach. Toni smiled, pulling the navy sweater up and over Shelby’s head, taking Shelby’s sports bra with it. Toni sucked on Shelby’s nipple, her hand massaging the other. Shelby leaned back, her head against the soft pillow. Shelby tugged on the hem of the cactus button down Toni was wearing. 

Toni chuckled, but started unbuttoning it, her eyes locking on Shelby. “I like you in button downs, I think.” Shelby said, biting her bottom lip. 

Toni raised an eyebrow, letting the button down fall open. Shelby sat up and pushed it down, off her shoulders, lifting Toni’s sports bra off her next. Shelby nipped at Toni’s ribs, it made Toni giggle, “if we ever get out of here, I’ll buy one then.” 

Shelby nodded an affirmation, sucking Toni’s nipple into her mouth. Shelby’s hands quickly undid Toni’s jeans and tugged them down her hips. Toni made quick work of Shelby’s pants, leaving them completely naked in the morning light. Shelby bit back a smile, “have I told you that I think you’re beautiful?” 

Toni blushed, she nodded. “Have I told you I really like your haircut?” 

“You hadn’t actually.” Shelby chuckled, “I was beginning to worry you didn’t like it.” 

“I kind of like it more at this length than before.” Toni ran her fingers through it, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, you were hot before, but this suits you. This feels more like you.” Shelby blushed, “I’ll have to take your word for it.” 

“I’ll make sure to tell you a lot.” Toni said, her voice more serious than before, her eyes hungrier, they flashed to Shelby’s. “Your eyes are also very beautiful today, they look almost gray. That's probably because of my sweater.” 

The look in Toni’s eyes lit a fire deep within Shelby. “Is that a good thing?” Toni’s eyes flashed to Shelby’s lips, “it’s an observation. You in my sweater is a really good thing. Please help yourself to my entire wardrobe.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Shelby made a mental note to steal the Hopewell Lake Basketball Team muscle shirt next before she gently pushed Toni back. Toni lay back with no protest, her head resting on the pillow. Shelby straddled her, rocking her hips into Toni. Toni could feel how wet Shelby already was, her hands slid up Shelby’s thighs to her waist. 

Shelby locked eyes with Toni, a contented smile on Toni’s face. Shelby licked her lips and took a deep breath. There was something she wanted to try, and after last night she felt bold enough to give it a go. She reminded herself of their conversation from the night before. 

_After they had eaten they had laid next to each other looking at the stars, holding hands and sharing the pillow. Toni knew a surprising amount of them by name, muttering something about the damn planetarium. They saw a shooting star go by, “make a wish.” Toni told her, her own eyes slamming shut, the grip she had on Shelby’s hand tightening. Shelby looked at Toni, her wish for the past few years was that she would get to a point in her life where she was truly happy with who she was. That she wouldn’t feel like she had to hide anything, more importantly that wouldn’t want to change anything about herself._

_When she had been younger, it was her teeth that had driven her crazy, then as she got older it had been her sexuality as well. But as she laid there looking at Toni, who’s eyes were scrunched tight as she wished on a shooting star, Shelby couldn’t think of anything else to wish for._

_They had gone back to talking then, “what’s next up for your life if we ever make it out of here?” Toni asked, propped up on her elbow so she could see Shelby better._

_“I got some scholarships through my pageant stuff, so college I guess, but I don’t know where I want to go. My dad has really been pushing for Baylor.”_

_Toni’s eyes perked up, “they have an amazing women’s basketball team.”_

_Shelby smiled, “I didn’t know that. That’s where my parents met. I don’t think I want to go there though. I want to go somewhere far away from my family, where I can be free like this.” With you, she thought, but didn’t say it. “What about you?”_

_“Martha’s family knows this guy who said if I get my high school degree, pass advanced physics, and keep A’s in math, he’d take me on as an electrician’s apprentice.”_

_Shelby was impressed, she knew that wasn’t easy work, but it paid well. “How are the requirements going?” She asked._

_Toni grinned at her, “97 in AP physics and 91 in pre calc.” She mimicked a mic drop. “I’ve just got statistics next… if we go back that is.”_

_“So you like math then?”_

_Toni nodded, “much more than english.”_

_Shelby laughed, “why?”_

_“There’s no hidden meaning. There’s no other context. I don’t get emotionally invested. I can’t get mad at a number, but I can get mad at a character.”_

_Shelby nodded, understanding. She thought about Toni as an electrician after a long day's work, “Would you get one of those shirts with your name on it? Like one of those reflecty short sleeved shirts with your company on one side and your name on the other?”_

_Toni laughed, “yeah, I think so. I don’t know if it’ll reflect, but I’ll get a work shirt.”_

_“Will you get a hard hat?” Shelby asked._

_Toni bit her bottom lip, “are you getting turned on by me becoming an electrician?”_

_Shelby shrugged, “maybe.”_

_Toni raised an eyebrow, her voice thicker the flirtier they got. A mischevious grin crossed Toni’s lips, wanting to be dirtier with Shelby than she had ever been in her life, wanting to test those waters, “would you want to fuck me while I wore a hard hat?”_

_“Oh sweetie, you have no idea.”_

_Toni’s eyes fell to Shelby’s lips, “what else would you want to try?”_

_“Anything. Everything. As long as it’s you.”_

Shelby scooted herself up Toni’s body, wishing she didn’t feel so awkward and unsexy. When Toni realized what she was doing, she’d helped her move. Shelby sat back, not letting all of her weight rest on Toni’s chest, her knees framing either side of Toni’s face. Toni’s mouth was hanging open in awe, her eyes searching Shelby’s in complete wonder. 

Shelby looked nervous, not that Toni hadn’t tasted her before, but because there was something so much more erotic about this somehow, like this was a more advanced position. Toni could sense the nervous energy, “hey, babe if you don’t want to, you don’t have to.” 

Shelby smiled down at her, “oh I want to, I just don’t want to suffocate you.” 

Toni bit her lip to keep from laughing, “I can think of worse ways to go.” 

Shelby rolled her eyes, “seriously, though.” 

“Seriously, if I start frantically tapping on your leg, then I can’t breathe. Until that happens, by all means.” Toni said, her eyes flashing down to Shelby’s center. 

Shelby grinned and sat up, lowering herself over Toni’s mouth. Toni reached up and grabbed her waist, helping to keep her balanced, her tongue sliding through Shelby’s wet folds. Shelby moaned, rocking her hips forward again, realizing then that she was going to be dictating the pace. Toni’s tongue pushed inside her as deep as it would go, Shelby gasped as Toni flicked it upwards and across her clit, hitting a particularly sensitive spot. 

Shelby rocked her whole body into Toni’s tongue, “fuck,” she whispered. Her breathing was unsteadying, she let her head fall back, grabbing her own ankles for support. Toni snaked an arm up in between them and slid two fingers deep inside Shelby. Shelby felt sure the position was going to break Toni’s wrist, but she felt certain that if Toni needed her to stop, she’d tap her leg. 

With every thrust, Shelby now controlled the depth in which Toni was in her and where on her clit Toni licked. Shelby let herself give in to exactly what her body wanted, and all she wanted in that moment was Toni. When she came, she felt her own slick heat pool out of her and Toni remove her fingers, lapping it up. 

She tried her best to gracefully dismount Toni’s face, but her whole body was still shaky and spent. Toni wrapped her up in a big hug, pulling Shelby’s back into her front, holding her tightly. They laid like that for a long time, until their breathing was normal and their heart rates were steady, and Shelby had stopped practically shivering even though it was a hot sunny day. 

“Hey, Toni?” Shelby said softly, in case Toni had dozed off. 

“Yeah, babe?” Toni’s voice was thick with emotion. 

“Now that we’ve been on a date…” Shelby trailed off. 

“Yeah?” 

“Can I officially say we’re dating?” 

Toni laughed, rolling on to her back. Shelby flipped over to face her, keeping herself propped up on her elbow. “That’s where your mind is right now? After…” Toni shook her head. She cupped Shelby’s cheek, “Yes, babe. You can say we’re dating.” Toni looked happy. Truly happy. She wondered if she looked the same way. 

"Good," Shelby said, the biggest smile on her face. She leaned down and kissed Toni, tasting herself on Toni’s lips. “This was the best date of my life.” 

Toni leaned up and kissed her forehead, “mine, too. I'm glad it's not over yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my coworker, Bre, who binged watched the show just so I could talk about it with some one at work lol. Then casually mentioned Shelby should sit on Toni's face. We all need that kind of support in our lives. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Heads up, I might not be able to write a chapter when I get home today. I might not have anything to post tomorrow. More is coming, just might a little later than normal.
> 
> Hope your day is going smoother than mine,  
> -Em


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in this chapter. It was one helluva week. Y'all are the best and deserve the best. Hope this makes you smile!

“I guess we should head back.” Shelby said, sad at the prospect of leaving their date. She knew they should, though. The sun was sinking fast over the horizon and they were out of water and food.

Toni smiled at her, feeling all the same things and nodded. It had been a wonderful day. She hated to leave it as well, but her stomach growled right on cue. “What did Thor say, ‘My mortal body is weak, I need sustenance.’” 

Shelby laughed, she had learned that about Toni today. Toni had seen like every movie ever and would quote them, with voices and accents. It was adorable. Shelby laughed, happy that she had at least seen Thor and knew what Toni was talking about. “Alright, then, Sweetie.” Her eyes fluttering down to Toni’s lips. Lips that she had spent the better part of the day kissing. She laughed. 

Toni looked at Shelby, confused. “Why are you laughing?” 

Shelby covered her face, embarrassed. “Because we spent all day…” she gestured to the fact that they were both still naked and laid out on the Dawn of Eve blanket, “and I don’t want to stop.” She bit her bottom lip. “The opposite, really.” 

Toni smiled at her, “same, babe. Same.” She sighed. Her eyes drifting down Shelby’s body. “You might want to wear my sweater for the next few days.” 

Shelby looked at her, confused, “I mean, I’m happy to, but why?” 

Toni traced over a mark on Shelby’s chest. “You might be covered in hickeys.” She let her fingers ghost over each mark she had left on Shelby, a mischievous smile tugging at her lips. She had learned throughout the day that Shelby liked it when she bit her. She watched the blush creep over Shelby’s face and down her neck to her chest, loving that when Shelby blushed, her whole body reacted. 

“If you keep touching me like that, we’re not leaving.” Shelby said, her voice had an edge to it and Toni knew she meant it. 

Toni smiled, but stilled her fingers. She stood and extended her hand down to Shelby. “Alright, babe. We should do the safe, responsible thing and head back.” 

They got dressed and packed up the blanket, pillow, water bottles and the untouched vodka bottle. Shelby hadn’t wanted to drink vodka again after getting so drunk on the beach and oversharing with the group. Toni said she had never really been that into drinking, not after all her mothers problems, she was always wary about how often or how much of anything she tried or did. Shelby grinned as she picked it up, wondering if she should take a shot now to steel her nerves for facing the group. She was still a little stressed that so many people knew the truth about her. She knew full well that they might not ever get off this island and that even if they did, it didn’t matter, this is who she was and she was never going back. Last night and today had settled that internal debate. If she and Toni made it off this island alive, they were staying together. She sighed as they started back towards the camp. 

Shelby kept stealing glances at Toni as they walked, she looked lighter somehow, freer. Toni caught her stealing glances and she laughed, “why do you keep looking at me?” 

Shelby grinned, “because you’re beautiful and I can’t believe I’m this happy.” Shelby thought back to their morning, after Toni had agreed they were officially dating. 

_“I’m glad it’s not over yet.” Toni said._

_Shelby saw a hunger in her eyes and she knew it was mirrored in her own. She was feeling more and more confident in herself and with Toni. She had always wondered how or when people started to feel sexy. She didn’t know if that was something that would come from just age or time or experience, but she was starting to feel comfortable being naked in front of Toni, and comfortable in her ability to please her and receive pleasure. Maybe that’s what being sexy was._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, her hand tracing down the front of Toni’s body. She moved her fingertips slowly, her eyes focused on Toni’s watching for reactions. Making mental notes of every response. She learned that Toni was ticklish near her ribs and hips and collarbone, if your touch was light enough. She gasped every time Shelby drug her nails across her abdomen, and most importantly, Shelby thought, she really really liked her nipples played with._

_Shelby leaned over and sucked on Toni’s nipple. Toni cupped the back of Shelby’s head gently, holding her in place, not wanting her to pull away. Shelby bit the soft flesh next to her nipple. Toni moaned, a low, deep rumble in her chest, the rumble buzzed to Shelby’s lips. Shelby straddled her then, being next to her wasn’t enough. Toni let out another muffled groan. Shelby looked up, never removing her lips from Toni’s chest._

_Toni’s eyes were closed tight, her mouth slightly open, and her head tilted back. She was exquisite. Shelby drug her fingers up Toni’s thighs, “fuck.” Toni whispered, her breathing was shaky._

_Shelby gripped her thighs, squeezing on the soft spanse just below her hip bones. Toni bucked up into her._

_“Touch me?” Toni asked._

_Shelby’s eyes flashed up to Toni’s a devious grin locking into place. Shelby shook her head no, her hands squeezing Toni’s hips again._

_Concern flashed through Toni’s eyes. Her voice was as rough as sandpaper, but full of concern. “Is everything okay?”_

_Shelby nodded, “yes, ma’am.” She said her accent going full tilt. “I want to watch you do it.”_

_Toni’s eyes widened, her mouth went dry. She had never touched herself in front of anyone before. Living in and out of foster homes and then sharing a room with Marty, she didn’t exactly touch herself all that often anyways. A few times in the shower to take some of her never ending rage off, but rarely. She had on the island once after Shelby had kissed and then sprinted away, but she had been so worked up by the time she did it, that it had taken less than a minute._

_Shelby bit her lip, “you don’t have to. I mean I’m happy to do it. I just thought it would be hot. I’m sorry.”_

_Toni caught Shelby’s hand as it slid back up her thigh, “no, wait…” She took a deep breath. “It would be, I’ve uhh…” Toni blushed, “I mean… we’re far beyond my sexual experience, I’m just nervous?” Toni wasn’t sure that was the right word. She wasn’t nervous in a way that was bad, just nervous in that it was so new._

_Shelby leaned down and kissed her then, her heart ready to burst about the fact that she and Toni were sharing firsts together, as silly as she knew that was. As they kissed she felt Toni’s hand move in between them._

“How much shit do you think we’re going to get for these hickeys?” Toni asked pulling Shelby from her pleasant memory of their morning. 

She laughed, “probably a lot. How long do hickeys even last?” 

Toni shrugged, “a day or two I suppose.” 

“Should I take my hair down to try and hide some of them?” Shelby asked. Toni had french braided her hair at some point in the day and Shelby had loved every second of it. No one ever really played with her hair. They straightened it, teased it, roughly brushed it, or sprayed more hair spray than should ever be used on it, but no one had ever just played with it. But Toni just liked to run her fingers through it. That’s how Shelby had fallen asleep the night before. They were watching the stars and giggling and telling each other things they had never admitted out loud and Toni was running her fingers through Shelby’s hair the whole time. 

“Nah. Let them tease.” Toni hated that their hands were full. She wanted to hold her hand, honestly any contact would do. 

Shelby blushed, “is it bad that I kind of like them?” She let out a laugh, “Lord, that’s lame.” 

Toni laughed, “no it’s not. I like it. I know that we’re like, on an island and it’s not like anyone else is trying to get with either of us, but it’s like this weird childish, but honestly pretty satisfying way to have like… claimed you? That sounds wrong. Not claim you like you’re mine. I don’t think you’re property to claim, I just mean like… jesus.” Toni sighed and laughed, “Now who’s lame?” 

Shelby bumped her shoulder against Toni’s, “I like it. Don’t mind us, just two girl’s in lame.” 

Toni laughed, “Oh my God, even lamer.” 

“You like it though,” Shelby teased. 

“Yeah. I do.” Toni said, a small smile sliding into place. Toni was a goner when it came to Shelby and she knew it. She thought this could be something good, but it had turned out to be something amazing. In a weird way, they were incredibly lucky. If they had met in the real world, they’d have to fight to see each other, navigating around school and sports and work and pageants and Shelby’s parents, but not here. Here they just went off into the woods and explored each other for a full day with no other cares or responsibilities. 

Shelby wondered what Toni was thinking about. She wondered if her mind had drifted back to the same place hers had. 

_Shelby could feel Toni’s hand working on herself. She moved to the side so that Toni didn’t have to fight against her. She blushed, knowing full well that she had also moved the side to get a better view. Shelby watched as Toni circled her own clit, dipping into herself as deep as she could reach and then pulling out to circle her clit again. She resisted the urge to participate, knowing that as soon as Toni finished, she fully intended to taste her._

_Toni watched Shelby as she touched herself. Shelby’s eyes transfixed on her hand and her center. Something about it was the single most arousing thing of her life. Something about Shelby’s gray green eyes, filled with want and desire. Toni could tell she was resisting the urge to participate, and while a part of her desperately wanted her too, there was something so satisfying in the fact that Shelby’s want was so visible. She had never moaned while touching herself before, but the closer she got to finishing, the less she could help herself. Every moan was causing a reaction in Shelby’s eyes and resolve and Toni could see it plain as day._

_Shelby knew her mouth was hanging open in awe of Toni, but the closer Toni got to orgasming, the more her whole body shook. Shelby could see every muscle of Toni’s rippling with exertion. There was something so raw about getting to see all of Toni as she brought herself to climax, something about knowing that Shelby herself had caused that same level of beauty before._

_Toni relaxed back on the blanket when she finished, her eyes still on Shelby. Shelby grabbed her wrist and pulled Toni’s two wet fingers into her mouth. Toni practically whimpered, she hadn’t expected that. She also hadn’t expected to like it so much. Shelby sucked her fingers clean before settling herself down carefully in between Toni’s thighs. Her eyes were locked on Toni’s waiting for her to give her any indication that she wasn’t ready. Toni nodded yes, and without making herself wait any longer, Shelby let her tongue slip through Toni’s dripping center. Toni moaned louder than she ever had before, her whole body hyper-sensitive from her self-induced orgasm. Shelby’s eyes stayed locked on Toni’s watching for any sign that what she was doing was too much. She sucked on Toni’s clit. Toni’s whole body arched up to meet her efforts. Shelby sank two of her fingers into Toni as deep as they would go, curling upwards as she pulled out. The delicious taste of Toni’s orgasm was fresh on her tongue, the sound of her fingers pumping in and out of Toni like a symphony in her ears._

_Toni gripped the back of Shelby’s head, needing something to anchor herself by. She had never had back to back orgasms, but she could already feel her second tumbling through her in waves. Shelby sucked again, and tipped Toni over the edge. The powerful roll of pleasure coursing through her._

_Shelby kissed up Toni’s body, each press of her lips causing Toni to twitch and gasp. “You doing okay?” She asked, settling her body down on top of Toni’s, her southern twang melting Toni’s heart._

_Toni nodded, still too out of breath to speak. She pulled Shelby tight to her needing as much contact as she could get. “This feels perfect.” She whispered finally._

When they stepped through the treeline Shelby looked at Toni and smiled softly, “this was really wonderful.” 

Toni leaned over and kissed her, “yeah, babe. It was.” 

They heard a loud cheer from the camp. Everyone was standing there watching them. Shelby blushed, fear flashing through her eyes, but then she relaxed. They all already knew. They had helped Toni set up the date, she and Toni were both returning covered in hickeys. What difference did it make if they saw them kiss?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you enough for reading, liking, and commenting. It's really giving me life. 
> 
> Let me know what you think or if there's anything you're wanting to see! I'm happy to work it in. 
> 
> Here's to a new week,  
> -Em


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is having a great Monday! This chapter feels a little short. Not sure why, but I'll try to give y'all more next time. :)

“So… you go spend a day away in the woods with your girlfriend, and come back with your hair all braided and covered in love bites like you were at some five star resort?” Fatin asked Shelby casually over dinner. Everyone’s eyes snapped up to Shelby.

Toni tensed, watching Shelby for any signs of panic. Fatin just referred to her as her girlfriend and used the love word. Toni’s jaw tightened reflexively, mentally cursing Fatin. She was fighting herself so hard to take things slow with Shelby so as to not scare her off and Fatin just comes in like an atomic bomb at a knife fight. 

Shelby blushed, not sure if she should correct the girlfriend comment or not. Her eyes flashed to Toni, sitting next to her, watching her intently, clearly waiting on Shelby to react before allowing herself to. God she was wonderful, Shelby thought. She shrugged at Fatin, “what the hell is a ‘love bite?’” 

Fatin poked one of Shelby’s hickeys. “These, you have about a thousand of them. It looks like you got mauled by a wild animal.” 

It was Toni’s turn to blush at that. She might have gotten a little carried away earlier in the day. To everyone’s surprise, Shelby started laughing. “Love bites? Fatin, you’re like… the sluttiest one here.” Shelby held her hands up immediately, “which, I mean as a compliment. I’ve learned the error of my past ways. I’m just saying, you of all people, calling them love bites? Just say hickey?” 

Fatin cringed, “I hate that word.” 

Rachel frowned, “is it like moist to you?” 

Leah shook her head, “I hate _that_ word.” 

Fatin thought about it for a second, “it’s just a harsh word for something so…” She wiggled her body. “Anyways, good deflection Goodkind, but you’re not off the hook.” 

Shelby laughed, “I mean… you asked a yes or no question. So, yes, that is what happened.” 

Toni chuckled next to her, relaxing immensely as Shelby handled Fatin’s teasing. 

Fatin eyed Toni, “Is that what being a lesbian is? Hair braiding and crazy, apparently rough sex in the wilderness?” 

Toni spit out the sip of water she had just taken. “Uhhhh…” All eyes were on her. She shrugged, “I mean, yeah? I think the wilderness part is kind of circumstantial, but you know lesbians do seem to be more outdoorsy.” 

The whole group roared with laughter. Martha fell quiet quicker than the rest, the uncomfortable realization of being the only virgin left in the group settling on her. “Fuck, why can’t Marcus be real.” She groaned. 

Toni wrapped an arm around her friend, “we’ll get out of here, Marty. And when we do, you have seven very solid wing-women ready to help you find a real life Marcus. Only one of whom would ever act as competition, and honestly I don’t think she can help herself.” Toni shot Fatin a faux glare. 

Fatin scoffed, offended, “Competition? I would never. Marty, I told you I had the hots for you when you killed that goat caveman style. After spending all evening being jealous of Shelby and her animal wounds, I’m pretty ready to be your Marcus.” 

Even Marty laughed at that. 

When Shelby finished eating, she leaned back against the driftwood they were sitting in front of and ran her fingers through Toni’s long wavy hair, letting her mind drift back to their day together. 

__

_Toni ran her fingers through Shelby’s hair lazily, her whole body feeling more relaxed that it ever had in her whole life. “Your hair is beautiful.” She said, her voice soft._

_Shelby blushed, tilting her head up to look at Toni. Shelby had almost dozed off she had been so relaxed and happy after making Toni orgasm. “Mmmm… Thanks, sweetie. I wish it was thick and looked so good braided like yours does.”_

_Toni chuckled, “your hair would look great braided.”_

_Shelby couldn’t think of a single time in her life that her hair had been braided. She had straightened it daily, pulled it up for working out at her father’s gym, teased it when she was going somewhere formal. “I only know how to do a basic braid, I could never do anything intricate like Martha did for you.”_

_Toni nudged her, “sit up.” She smiled at Shelby softly. “Come on, sit up. I’ll braid it for you.”_

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, looking at Toni. She sat up next to Toni who followed suit. Toni knelt behind her and started working her fingers through Shelby’s hair. “Who taught you how to do this?” Shelby asked._

_“Martha, actually. So I could braid my hair before playing away games.”_

_Shelby smiled at the thought of a younger Martha teaching a younger Toni how to braid. “That’s cute.” She said._

_Toni laughed, “Yeah? We practiced on Martha’s little sisters. Don’t let me pull too hard, okay?”_

_Shelby thought Toni’s hands felt like magic running through her hair. When she was done, Toni bound the end of Shelby’s braid with a hair tie she had on her wrist. Shelby spun around to face her, “What do you think?”_

_Toni nodded, an eyebrow raised, “I like it.” She kissed Shelby’s forehead._

_Shelby ran her hands up Toni’s bare thighs, squeezing her ass. Toni’s eyes widened, but she didn’t move away. Shelby kept sliding her hands across Toni’s lean body, letting her thumb trace circles around Toni’s hardening nipples. She raked her fingernails down Toni’s abdomen, earning a soft moan from her._

_Toni looked down into Shelby’s deep green eyes, “isn’t it your turn?” She said a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth._

_Shelby shook her head no, “I’m not done with you yet, I was just giving you a minute to recover.” Shelby slid her hand to Toni’s center, coating two of her fingers in Toni’s wetness. “You going to be able to hold that position, or?”_

_Toni’s mouth fell open, she was still on her knees in front of Shelby. Shelby dipped her fingers lower, pushing through her folds, circling her clit._

_Toni licked her lips, she wrapped her arms around Shelby’s neck and nodded yes just as Shelby sank two of her fingers deep inside of her._

Toni gently squeezed Shelby’s thigh, “hmmm?” Shelby hummed, turning her attention to Toni. 

Toni grinned at her, raising a knowing eyebrow. “I asked if you were ready for bed.” 

Shelby looked around and realized that most of the other girls had made their way up higher on the beach to get some sleep. Nora who was on fire duty, was still awake, as were Martha and Toni. “Oh, well, actually I was going to ask Martha if she would teach me how to braid so I could do yours.” 

Toni smirked at her, “oh you mean so that the next time you mess up Martha’s hard work, you can fix it.” 

Shelby’s eyes widened, she blushed, her eyes flashing to Martha. Martha just laughed, knowing Toni all too well. “Toni…” She started. 

Martha cut in, “it’s fine. She only teases people she cares about.” 

Shelby and Toni both blushed, knowing that for all they had talked about, they hadn’t spent much time talking about how they felt towards each other. Obviously, they knew they liked each other, but both felt so, so, so much more but hadn’t worked up the courage to say it yet. 

Martha giggled, knowing that she could have way too much fun with this if she wanted. “Yes, Shelby. I'll teach you how to braid. Toni can be your practice dummy. Nora?” 

“Hmmm?” Nora hummed, looking up from her journal. 

“Can I braid your hair while I teach Shelby how to braid Toni's?” 

Nora shrugged, “Yeah, sure. I don’t mind.” 

She moved around the campfire to where the rest of them were sitting. Shelby and Marth moved the logs behind Toni and Nora. Martha showed Shelby a basic braid pattern and how to help keep some of the sides from getting looser as she worked her way down Toni’s head. When Shelby was finally satisfied she clapped her hands. Toni jumped, she had dozed off a while ago, Shelby’s excitement drug her from a very pleasant dream. “You get it, babe?” She asked, her voice coated in sleep. 

Shelby leaned around her and kissed her cheek. “Yes, I did.” Shelby looked over at Martha, “Thank you, Martha.” 

Martha smiled, happy to see both Shelby and Toni the happiest she had ever seen either of them. “You’re welcome.” 

Nora thanked Martha too, for her braid and moved back to the other side of the campfire. It’s not that she didn’t like them, she was just very aware of their tight dynamic and didn’t want to intrude. 

Toni tilted her head back into Shelby’s lap, “bedtime now?” She asked. 

Shelby giggled, “are you going to wait for me to agree to bedtime every night?” 

Toni nodded, “yeah, you’re like a fireball when you sleep. I don’t even miss blankets any more.” 

“What about when I have fire duty?” 

Toni frowned, her sleepy mind doing all her thinking, “I’ll just sleep down here with my head in your lap while you watch the fire.” 

Shelby blushed, something about that was incredibly romantic. “Okay, sweetie.” She leaned down and kissed Toni, her mind flashing back to that scene in spiderman that everyone was crazy about when she was a kid. “Let’s go to bed.” She stood and extended her hands to Toni, helping her up. “Good night, y’all.” She said to Martha and Nora as she and Toni walked down the beach a little ways away from everyone else. She and Toni had talked earlier that day about how just because everyone was super supportive of them, they didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or wake up in a compromising position like they had before. They had agreed it made sense for them to sleep a little ways away from the group. 

When they got to a spot that looked cozy enough, close enough to still see the fire, but far enough to help provide some sort of privacy, Toni laid down and held open her arms. Shelby giggled, dropping down next to her. “Come here, sweetie.” She said pulling Toni into her arms instead, sliding an arm up under Toni to serve as her pillow. She tugged Toni back into her front, holding her tightly. She kissed Toni’s temple. “Sweet dreams.” She whispered. She hummed an old George Strait song as Toni drifted off to sleep in her arms. She let her mind wander back to earlier that day. 

_Shelby leaned forward, capturing one of Toni’s nipples in her mouth and sucked it, hard. Toni moaned, her body already shaking. She leaned on Shelby for support. Toni shifted her knees farther apart, wanting Shelby deeper in her. Shelby immediately deepened her thrusts, letting her thumb trace circles around Toni’s clit as she did._

_Toni’s body rocked forward into Shelby’s hand, she knew that her movements were less smooth up on her knees than she was laying down, but Toni wasn’t complaining. There was a spark in Shelby’s emerald eyes that would keep the fire going in Toni’s core for as long as she could hold it. Shelby pressed rough kisses along Toni’s abdomen, noting that the rougher they were, the more Toni reacted to them. Shelby also noted that she really, really liked it when Toni reacted. She let her teeth sink into Toni’s ribs and felt Toni’s fingers tighten in her hair, but they didn’t pull her away, they pulled her tighter to her. Shelby shifted her mouth down, biting again, then licking over it to soothe where she had bitten. Toni groaned a low and guttural groan. The sound made Shelby moan in response, she could feel her own thick wet heat dripping down her thigh._

_She moved her hand faster and deeper into Toni, in awe of the sounds she was producing from the other woman’s lips. Toni tugged Shelby’s face up to hers, needing Shelby’s lips on her own. Their kiss was a mess of moans and tongues. Shelby could feel Toni’s body tighten from the inside out. She slid a third finger into her with her next thrust and felt Toni fall apart around her._

_Toni tugged Shelby’s head back gently, sucking on her now exposed neck. Shelby moaned, in surprise and pleasure. Toni, pushed her back gently, never relenting on Shelby’s neck, kissing down to her throat. She nipped gently, testing to see if it would be too much for Shelby, but Shelby just moaned and tilted her head farther back, making more room for Toni’s mouth to explore._

_Toni’s hands cupped Shelby’s breasts, squeezing and teasing her nipples. Shelby grabbed Toni’s wrist dragging one of her hands down to her center. Toni dipped her fingertips through Shelby’s center. Toni moaned into Shelby’s neck when she felt just how wet Shelby had become. “Fuck, babe.” She whispered._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, blushing, “sorry, I--”_

_Toni’s eyes shot to Shelby’s, “no. It’s amazing.” Her voice was in awe. She quickly kissed her way down Shelby's heading straight for Shelby’s center. Shelby was so close already that Toni had barely sucked on her clit before she was coming, her whole body shaking with release._

Toni mumbled in her sleep, snapping Shelby out of her thoughts. 

“What was that sweetie?” Shelby said softly, tugging Toni tighter to her. 

Toni mumbled incoherently. Shelby giggled and pressed a kiss to Toni’s temple. “I love you, Toni Shalifoe. Have sweet dreams.” She whispered. Smiling as Toni snored softly in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Your comments give me lifeeeee. 
> 
> -Em


	11. Chapter 11

Shelby woke up the next morning to her new favorite sound, sleepy Toni grumbles. Toni had slept practically on top of her all night and Shelby loved it. She wondered if they ever got off the island if they’d have a hard time adjusting to sleeping back on beds. She chuckled to herself thinking that she must be going crazy if she was truly questioning that. Toni mumbled something that sounded like good morning.  
Shelby giggled, “are you like this in the real world, too?”

“Mmmmm..” Toni groaned. She yawned, one of her massive Chewbacca yawns. “I miss coffee most of all.” 

Shelby snuck a finger under Toni’s chin, tilting her face up so she could kiss her good morning. “And what is your coffee order?” 

Toni inhaled deeply as if she could smell it. “Black coffee. No cream. No sugar. Just black coffee. And not from Starbucks. That shit tastes burned.” 

Shelby smiled at Toni, she would be a black coffee drinker, “do you also prefer dark chocolate?” 

Toni nodded, “yeah, why?” 

“You’re more likely to be a sociopath.” 

Toni laughed, “good morning to you, too.” 

“What?” Shelby said innocently, “I read an article about it.” 

Toni kissed her again, “you’re ridiculous. What coffee do you drink? One of those sugary frap-a-cracks?” 

Shelby shook her head no. 

Toni frowned thinking. “Hmm… I mean yours isn’t also black coffee with nothing added, right?” Toni’s eyes widened, “is that why you read that article? Are you trying to tell me something?” 

Shelby laughed, trying to push Toni off of her playfully, but Toni ground her hips into Shelby and pinned her wrists above her head. Toni grinned mischievously as Shelby wiggled underneath her. “Dammit. You’re freakishly strong for your tiny frame.” 

Toni laughed, but leaned down to kiss her. Shelby stopped play fighting against her, suddenly very aware of just how pinned she was and how much she really wished they were naked. She blushed at the thought of Toni having her pinned. She had heard of kinky things that people did, but she had never understood it until now. But as Toni stayed just out of reach of her lips, she suddenly knew exactly why handcuffs were a thing. 

Her eyes were locked to Toni’s lips, feeling her own breathing get heavy. Toni pushed her wrists into the sand, “don’t move these.” She said, her voice serious, but her eyes still playful, a small smile tugging at her lips. 

Shelby swallowed nervously, but she nodded and left her hands up where Toni had left them as Toni started trailing kisses down her neck. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Fatin yelled. 

Toni and Shelby froze, both blushing dark, dark red. “Fuck.” Toni whispered, rolling off Shelby, watching Fatin approach. 

“Can I move my hands?” Shelby asked, too quiet for Fatin to hear, biting back a laugh. 

Toni’s eyes widened at her. “Jesus Christ,” she muttered. Shelby just raised an eyebrow, her hands still glued to the spot. Toni watched as Fatin moved closer. “Fuck, yes. You can move them.” Toni laughed, surprised at how turned on she was by Shelby’s risky teasing. 

Fatin shook her head in feigned disappointment. Shelby sat up. “Good morning.” Shelby called, her positive voice welcoming Fatin as she got closer. “It’s only a good morning for some people. Not all of us get morning sex, okay.” 

Toni and Shelby blushed again. Shelby could feel Toni bristle, she put her hand on Toni’s thigh, hoping it would keep Toni in a good mood. “Is it a bad morning for anyone, or are you just…” 

“Being lonely and jealous that you’re having the world’s sexiest island adventure.” Fatin sighed, “yeah, the second. Nothing is wrong. Dot and Rachel do want to talk to you guys though. Something about a mission for the love birds.” 

Toni and Shelby exchanged glances, not sure what that could possibly entail, but guessing that it had something to do with the dwindling number of lychees. They headed back with Fatin, hand in hand. 

Dot and Rachel were deep in discussion when the three of them walked up. “Morning,” Dot said to them. 

“Hey, Dottie,” Shelby replied, her good mood unspoiled by Fatin’s interruption. 

Rachel looked at them with the same intensity she always got when she was part of a plan. Shelby had seen it first hand, Rachel could get intense. “Okay, so we’ve been thinking, we need to get a map drawn of the island.” 

Toni frowned, not sure what that had to do with them and still more than a little annoyed that their morning got interrupted for this, she kept her voice flat, “okay.” 

Dot nodded, “and Shelby is definitely the most useful in terms of teaming up and taking on a mission to accomplish that.” 

Toni gritted her teeth, “okay,” she said with more force. Shelby squeezed her hand. 

“And…” Rachel continued, “since you two are like a built in buddy system, we were thinking that y’all might be up for the task.” 

Toni relaxed a little. “What does the task entail?” 

Dot shrugged, “we’re not exactly cartographers, so we’re not sure. But the point is, we’re thinking it could be incredibly useful to start getting a better understanding of what we’re working with. Marking where the water is, where the lychee tree is, where the cave was, etcetera, it could be huge. Especially in terms of locating more food and more water, and potential places for us to try and build a more permanent shelter.” 

Rachel flinched. Everyone knew that she hated the notion that this could be permanent, but since no one had come for them after the plane passed by overhead, they were all starting to get the feeling that this place was indeed going to be their home. 

Shelby nodded, “I mean, what you’re saying makes sense. I don’t have the slightest clue how to go about mapping this island though. I mean, Toni and I can go back up to the top of that mountain and do our best.” 

Dot nodded. “I think that’s a great place to start.” 

“I think that clearing that y’all helped me with would make a great place for us to try and put a permanent shelter.” Toni added. 

Shelby looked at Toni, surprised, “really?” 

“I mean yeah, was it windy?” 

Shelby hadn’t really thought about it, “no, I guess it wasn’t.” 

“Did we get any direct sun?” 

“No, I guess we didn’t.” Shelby frowned, wondering when Toni had had the time to ponder it, “had you already thought about that?” 

Toni nodded, “yeah I was going to talk to Dot about it today. There were thick trees all around. In theory, we could use them to support more stable structures. We already have a fire pit dug out.” Toni blushed, “we can vouch for the ground being fairly comfortable. Nora already cleaned up most of the sticks and rocks.” 

Rachel nodded, “that’s actually a really good idea.” 

“I’m not an idiot.” Toni said, her voice a little sharp. Shelby’s thumb traced across the back of her hand and Toni took a deep breath. 

Dot, sensing the tension jumped in, “perfect. So, if you two are up for the challenge, y’all can start on the map today and Leah and I can go scout that clearing.” 

Shelby nodded, “that sounds good. Are we going to leave y’all in a bind if we take enough water and food for two days?” 

Dot shook her head no. Fatin whooped from behind them at the two days comment. The last time the group had gone up to the top of the mountain, they had made it there and back in one. Toni was still too sleepy to handle any more interactions, so she grabbed four of the water bottles and stuffed them in her pink drawstring bag along with two days worth of goat jerky and lychees for snacks along the way. She handed Shelby the blanket to stuff in her pack. Shelby also grabbed one of the empty notebooks that had been part of their swag bags and a dawn of eve pen that had come with it. 

“Ready?” Toni asked her. 

Shelby grinned at her, and nodded. She was more than a little thrilled to get two full days of Toni to herself. The grin at the corner of Toni’s eyes told her that Toni was feeling the same way. 

They took off down the beach in relative silence, Toni leading the way. Shelby couldn’t help herself but let her eyes wander down Toni’s body and her mind drift back to the day before. 

_They had collapsed back in a tangled puddle after climaxing, with Toni mostly on top of Shelby. Toni propped herself up on her elbow, her fingertips tracing across Shelby’s sunburned skin. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Toni asked her voice full of concern, her fingertips circling a red and slightly swollen spot on Shelby’s neck._

_Shelby smiled, she shook her head no and blushed. “I liked it.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. They hadn’t really had a post sex what did you like about that, and what else can we try kind of talk, so discussing things that she had really liked that Toni had done, made her feel almost shy._

_Toni could sense it in her, the way her shoulders had rocked forward and how she had ducked her head. Toni, on the other hand, wanted to know everything. She wanted to know exactly what Shelby liked and exactly what she wanted to explore and then Toni wanted to spend the rest of forever doing just that._

_Toni leaned down and kissed her, soft and slow. She knew it would work, Shelby’s hands fluttered to her face and her whole body stretched up to keep kissing her. Toni pulled back, smiling at how even after a morning of sex, kissing could make Shelby’s whole body flush with desire._

_“So you like it when I bite you?”_

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, taking a deep breath, this was Toni, she could tell Toni just how much she had liked that. “Yes. I really,” Shelby squeezed Toni’s ribs for emphasis, “really, liked it when you bit me.”_

_Toni grinned, a look of pride passing over her face. “What else do you like?” She asked, her voice lower and rougher than normal._

_Shelby blushed, “Ummm… well… I mean, everything we've done has been amazing, you know that, right? Like holy shit.” Shelby chuckled, “I never in my life thought that sex would feel this good. Let alone, that I would be having sex with a woman.” Shelby shook her head in wonder. “I mean like, the whole deserted island, we’re kind of starving in this awful prolonged manner aside, like this is kind of crazy, right? Like in a good way. But if we were back home, you might have just barely stopped being an asshole by now. I might not ever have kissed you because I could have avoided you-- and after Becca, I would have avoided you.”_

_Toni kissed Shelby’s cheek pointedly ignoring the asshole comment, “Babe.”_

_Shelby looked up and into Toni’s honey brown eyes, melting at the warmth she found in them. “What?” She found her own voice to be breathless._

_“It is crazy, but it is real.” Toni pressed a quick kiss to her lips, “and seemingly nothing is going to stop us from doing this.” She grinned a beautiful playful grin, “for as long as we want. So I ask again,” they both chuckled, “what else do you like?”_

_Shelby tucked a strand of hair back behind Toni’s ear, she had done a number to the braid Martha had worked so hard on. Shelby looked down, running her fingertips over Toni’s collar bone and watching them intently, “I seem to enjoy it most when it’s a bit rougher.” Her eyes flashed up to Toni’s, “Obviously, you’re not a crazy rough person, and like I said all of it has been amazing, but I think I get so…” Shelby frowned looking for the words, “desperate, almost, for release, that when you’re faster and deeper and harder and biting me, it like… matches how my insides feel.” Her eyes flashed to Toni’s again, wondering what she’d find._

_Toni had actually thought the same thing, which was new for her. Her very limited sexual experience before the island had been so rushed and fumbled, in the backs of/or on top of cars, or on the couch before Reagan’s parents got home, they had never even gotten completely naked together. It was too risky, too high a chance of getting caught. Toni had been pretty adamant about respecting Reagan’s parents rules as much as possible. But here, here there were no rules. And here, she and Shelby had been naked for hours on end, and were now discussing how they preferred to have sex. Toni nodded and licked her lips, “what else?”_

_Shelby smiled, much less nervous now, “I like fucking you.”_

“Do you feel like I’m dead weight?” Toni asked, suddenly yanking Shelby from her pleasant memory. 

Shelby frowned, “what?” 

Toni sighed, “you’re on this mission because you’ve been voted most useful lady on the island. I’m here because we’re dating.” 

Shelby slid her hand into Toni’s, slowing them both down a bit, turning their hike into a leisurely stroll, “sweetie, no. I don’t think you’re dead weight.” 

Toni’s jaw was set, she had been frustrated the whole time they had been walking and Shelby had been too caught up in yesterday to have noticed. She felt a little bad. She kissed Toni on the cheek. “I think you’re the best survivor of the group.” Her voice was serious, firm. “I think I might have hunting and tracking experience, and Dot has medical experience, and Nora knows a freakish amount about everything, Rachel is an olympic class swimmer, but none of us have ever fought to survive and you’ve spent the better part of your life doing just that.” She smiled sadly, “If I were a betting person, taking bets on who makes it off this island, my money is on you.” 

Toni blushed, Shelby had a point. She’d gone days without eating before. She’d slept without a bed, or without a roof, the island hadn’t really been that much different for her. The biggest difference was the extreme heat and constant sun exposure. “Thank you.” She kissed the back of Shelby’s hand and started walking again. 

Shelby’s heart fluttered in her chest. Toni had been so aggressive when they had all gotten here, looking to fight everyone. Shelby was starting to get it, starting to see which insults and which jabs actually provoked her. She hated being doubted, or when she felt like people were being condescending, religion was clearly a stressor, and she was fiercely loyal and protective. “Have you ever read the Harry Potter books?” 

Toni laughed at the subject change. “Yes, I have. Why?” 

Shelby giggled, “did you ever take those silly quizzes to get yourself sorted?” 

Toni looked up at Shelby and blushed, “yes, I have. I’m surprised you read them though, I thought magic was forbidden in the hyper-religious community.” 

Shelby looked embarrassed, “I read them all in my school’s library. Never checked a single book out. I’d sit on the ground in front of the shelves and read until I had to go.” 

“Nerd.” Toni chuckled, her heart melting at the thought of a tiny Shelby sneaking into the library to read forbidden books. 

“What house did you get?” Shelby asked, knowing full well that Toni was a Hufflepuff and that she wouldn’t accept any other answer. 

Toni mumbled, “Hufflepuff.” 

Shelby giggled, “I knew it.” 

Toni bristled, “okay, Ravenclaw.” 

Shelby’s eyes widened, “how’d you know?” 

“You’re a secret nerd.” Toni laughed. “You might want to retake that test though.” 

Shelby frowned, “why do you say that?” 

“I don’t think you give your bravery enough credit. I think you value learning more than you value the fact that you’re becoming your true self despite possible consequences, and I think that maybe if you took it again after all this, your answer might have changed to Gryffindor.” Toni stopped their walking to look at Shelby. 

Shelby’s heart was overflowing, “Toni--I,” she had said it last night, but Toni had already been asleep, she took a deep breath, pushing any fears aside, “I’m in love with you.” She had told Andrew that she loved him, but she had always known she hadn’t meant it. It had been the role she was playing, the role she thought she was supposed to play, the role she hoped would one day stop being an act, but now, now she knew what it felt like to be in love, and she couldn’t go another second without saying it. 

Toni smiled, the smile she reserved for Shelby. Toni had been in love before, she had had her heart broken, she had caused it. She was determined to not mess this up. She was starting to feel things for Shelby that she had never felt for another person, trust, safety, happiness it was unlike anything she had ever felt for another person, love wasn’t even enough. “I’m in love with you, too.” 

Shelby pulled Toni in for a kiss, their map making mission completely forgotten. She pushed the drawstring bag off Toni’s shoulders, lifting her shirt off her immediately after. They had only been walking for a few hours, they were still deep in the forest, but Shelby didn’t care. They’d make it to the top of the mountain when they made it. At this moment, she needed Toni. 

Shelby pushed Toni back against a tree, the bark biting into her exposed skin. Toni groaned, loving every second of it. Shelby dropped her own bag with abandon, pulling Toni’s navy sweater off herself and casting it aside, hungry for her lips to be back on Toni’s. 

Toni moaned at the force in which Shelby kissed her. They had talked about this yesterday, Toni smiled when Shelby broke their kiss to suck on her neck. “Is that all you got?” She asked, her voice rough and laced with desire. 

Shelby’s teeth sank into Toni’s neck, just over her pulse point. She whispered in Toni’s ear, “I’ve got the strength for a lot more.” 

They were referencing the time Shelby kicked Toni as she walked away from her. Only then, Shelby wasn’t willing to waste any more energy on Toni than the energy she had been using to keep her sinful thoughts at bay. Now, Toni could have every shred of energy she could produce. 

“Oh yeah?” Toni challenged, raising an eyebrow. 

Shelby’s hands slid to Toni’s ass and she lifted the smaller woman up. Toni bit her bottom lip, wrapping her legs tightly around Shelby’s waist. Shelby knew this was going to be a complicated position, especially because she fully intended to maintain it. She probably should have yanked Toni’s joggers off of her before lifting her, but at this moment, she didn’t care. She tugged the drawstring undone, and pulled on the waistband, loosening the pants as much as possible while leaning Toni back against the tree. 

Toni moaned, wrapping her arms around Shelby’s neck but doing her best to lean back into the tree. She hadn’t expected Shelby to pick her up, but she was more than happy to give this a try. She watched in awe as Shelby’s hand slid under her waistband. Her emerald green eyes flashing up to Toni’s, wanting a visual confirmation, both of them already knowing just how wet Toni was for her. Toni nodded quickly, giving Shelby the consent she was looking for. 

Shelby quickly coated two of her fingers with Toni’s already dripping wet heat. She pushed her fingers into her, and curled them upwards. Toni moaned, letting her head fall back against the tree. Shelby couldn’t get a rhythm so she let her thumb do all of the work, sweeping circles around Toni’s clit. Toni’s whole body was already tight from trying to help Shelby hold up her body weight. She could feel how tight she was around Shelby’s fingers, her insides throbbing almost immediately. She dug her short nails into Shelby’s back, spurring Shelby on. She was close already, she wondered fleetingly if she would ever last more than a few minutes with Shelby or if she would always make her come embarrassingly fast. 

Holding her up against the tree really limited Shelby’s ability to pull out, so she flexed her fingers inside Toni, curling them upwards and stroking along her front wall. Toni moaned at every flex of her fingers and flick of her thumb, her mouth falling open, overcome with pleasure. “Holy fuck that feels good,” Toni let out in a whisper, her eyes slamming shut. She moved one hand to grip the tree over her head. 

Shelby redoubled her efforts, sweat dripping down her back, her forearm burning. She could feel just how close Toni was to orgasming, her whole body tightening around her waist and around her fingers. “Look at me.” She said, out of breath. 

Toni forced her eyes to open, finding Shelby’s, desperate to do anything the other woman wanted. 

“I love you.” Shelby said, feeling Toni come completely undone around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having too much fun with this y'all. Let me know what you think. I'm pretty sure Shelby could pull this off. Toni seems light enough lol.
> 
> Also, we all agree Toni's a Hufflepuff, right? Like I'm not alone in this?
> 
> Happy Tuesday,   
> Em


	12. Chapter 12

“Shit,” Toni said bending over at the waist, completely out of breath. “This is like a legit mountain.”

Shelby’s eyes watched Toni’s ass as she doubled over, she bit her bottom lip. 

Toni chuckled, catching Shelby’s gaze, “oh really? You don’t care that I’m dying, too busy checking me out?” 

Shelby shrugged, laughing as Toni’s eyes fell down her front. She had never bothered putting Toni’s sweater back on, she had just tied it around her waist. They were both dripping with sweat, the effect was oddly arousing. Shelby thought she’d happily adjust to being able to sleep in a bed with Toni, but she might struggle with deodorant. She blushed, thinking that she might be losing her marbles. 

When they first got to the island, they had all been concerned about how badly they were going to smell. They used their soap with caution and their two in one shampoo and conditioner was held in even higher regard, but if Shelby was being honest, she liked the natural smell of Toni. 

Toni pulled her sling bag off her back and grabbed a water bottle. She held it out to Shelby for her to get a sip as well. “Any guesses how much farther we have until the top?” 

Shelby took a sip, some of the water spilling down her front. Toni bit her bottom lip, her eyes following the trickle of water. Shelby grinned at her and chuckled, “probably another hour or two if we keep up this pace. If Rachel were here, there’d be yelling and we’d already be at the top.” 

Toni laughed, “she’s a high strung as I am.” 

“Less annoying though.” 

Toni scoffed, pretending to be offended, “me? Annoy you? Never.” 

Shelby laughed, “you’re the most annoying person in the world and I got trapped on an island with you.” 

“Is that why you fell in love with me?” 

Shelby blushed, “no, I fell in love with you because of your butt.” 

Toni looked over her shoulder at her own backside, smirking at Shelby, “I knew it.” She leaned in and kissed Shelby, thinking back to what an ass she had been to Shelby from the moment they had met. “Why _did_ you want to kiss me in the first place? Other than you knew I was already a lesbian?” 

Shelby’s mouth went dry. What was she supposed to say, that she had wanted Toni since the second she got on the plane? That every little annoying, angry thing that Toni did just made her want to love the other girl more, that when Toni said she saw the real her, she knew that she did. “You were everything I wanted to be. You were sure of yourself and your beliefs and your loyalties and you didn’t care what other people thought. You were so filled with passion, you just channeled it as rage, but I could tell it was so much more. And every time you challenged me, it was like you were daring me to be better.” Shelby blushed and wiped her hands on her shorts. “And also, you’re really just ridiculously attractive. Like, it’s unfair.” She blushed, trying to wrap up her ramble, “so, yeah. That’s why I kissed you. Thanks for also being awesome and sweeping me completely off my feet after that.” 

Toni blushed, letting some of the guilt she carried for how she had treated Shelby slip away, feeling that it was already forgiven. Toni pulled her bag back on and nodded back towards the trail. “You’re welcome,” she muttered as they continued. 

“Why’d you chase after me?” Shelby asked finally. 

Toni looked back at Shelby over her shoulder as she walked. “I felt bad, like maybe I had pushed you into it.” 

“Did you know?” 

“Know what?” Toni asked, panting, wishing they were already at the top. 

“That I was…?” Shelby hadn’t really picked a label. “That I wasn’t straight?” 

Toni shook her head, no. “Nah, I wondered what your thing was. I knew you had a thing, like something heavy sitting on you. I didn’t know it would be that you loved me.” 

Shelby chuckled, “the most annoying.” 

Toni smiled back at her with a cocky grin. They walked for a while in silence other than the sounds of their heavy breathing. “So, you used to get off with a whirlpool?” 

“Uggghhhh. You’re the worst.” Shelby groaned, “and I’m never drinking again.” 

Toni laughed, “I’m your worst though. So I have that going for me.” 

Shelby giggled, “yeah, you are.” They continued their walk in silence, and Shelby let her mind drift back to the day before. 

_Toni rolled them over, settling herself on top of Shelby. “Tell me if I’m too rough?” She whispered._

_Shelby nodded, knowing that there was probably no such thing. She gasped as Toni sucked just beside her nipple, biting into Shelby’s skin. She felt her whole body arch into Toni. Toni’s tongue traced down Shelby’s body, stopping over her ribs, biting down again. Shelby hissed. Toni’s eyes flashed up to Shelby’s making sure she hadn’t crossed the line to pain. Shelby was biting her lip, propped up on her elbows, watching as Toni’s tongue traced lower and she bit down again._

_If you had told Shelby a month ago that this is how she’d be spending her summer, plane crashed on an island, fucking the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, and learning that she really liked being bitten, she would have prayed for your delusional soul. But as Toni’s teeth sank into the soft spot of her hip, she couldn’t think of anything else in the world she should be doing._

_“Fuck,” she whispered as Toni sucked on her thigh._

_“Too much?” Toni asked, kissing the spot she had just bruised with such tenderness it didn’t seem real._

_Shelby shook her head no. “I want more of you.”_

_Toni grinned and nodded, sinking two of her fingers into Shelby. Toni kept a careful watch on Shelby’s facial reactions, rougher didn’t mean painful. According to Shelby, it meant harder, faster, and deeper. So that’s what Toni gave her, doing her best to come out as far as she could and push in as deep as her fingers would allow. Shelby wrapped her fingers through Toni’s hair, and tugged her face down to meet hers. The kiss was messy and filled with need. Toni slipped a third finger into her on her next downstroke._

_Shelby let out a moan like Toni had never heard. Toni broke their kiss to suck on Shelby’s pulse point. Shelby dug into Toni’s back, desperate to hang on, not wanting to finish yet, but she had told Toni what her favorite thing had been so far and Toni was delivering tenfold. Toni’s palm, rubbed against Shelby’s clit and Shelby bit Toni’s shoulder to keep from crying out. “Yes, like that.” She managed, a broken whisper in Toni’s ear._

_Toni held her pace, feeling Shelby’s insides flutter, dangerously close to tipping over the edge, letting the palm of her hand find purchase against Shelby’s most sensitive spot. Shelby’s nails raked down the back of Toni’s arms as she came around her. But Toni didn’t stop._

_Shelby’s eyes found Toni’s, her whole body was shaking and Toni was still thrusting in and out of her. “Do I need to stop?” Toni asked, her eyes full of concern, but her hands showing no sign of stopping._

_Shelby shook her head no, furiously. She didn’t really know what the outcome of this was going to be, she was already orgasming, what else could there be? And then, she felt a dam burst from within her. Toni stilled, her eyes filled with awe and wonder. Shelby’s hot juices flowed down her hand. She kissed Shelby gently, letting her weight settle down on top of her, slowly removing her fingers. Shelby whimpered when Toni pulled out of her, her body missing the feeling of being full._

_When Shelby could finally breathe well enough to form a complete sentence, she said, “should I be embarrassed that I don’t know what just happened?”_

_Toni chuckled, kissing up Shelby’s neck gently, she shook her head no, “you’ve never watched a porn film have you?”_

_Shelby’s eyes widened and she shook her head no._

_Toni kissed her, “you squirted.” She was clearly fighting a cocky grin from spreading across her face._

_Shelby blushed, “I didn’t know that was a real thing.” She covered her face with her hands._

_“Wait, why are you embarrassed? Did it feel good?” Toni tugged gently on Shelby’s hands._

_Shelby nodded, looking up into Toni’s golden brown eyes. “Really good. Like insanely good.”_

_“It’s me, babe. There’s no need to be embarrassed. That was like the single greatest experience of my life.” Toni chuckled._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, “oh yeah?”_

_Toni grinned, “all of today really, and last night, like just the past twenty-four hours. I wish I knew what day it was. We could celebrate these two days every year for the rest of our lives.” She laughed, “that’s how good.”_

“Thank fuck!” Toni yelled as they finally rounded the last turn, the peak of the mountain finally in view. 

Shelby laughed, the path finally widening enough for the two of them to walk side by side. She grabbed Toni’s hand, smiling at how well they fit together. “What first, love? Dinner or attempted map drawing?” 

Toni looked at Shelby and blushed, “did you just call me love?” 

Shelby’s eyes widened, she hadn’t even realized she had done it. “Sorry, I can call you sweetie if you’d rather.” 

Toni laughed, “I’m fine with either, but I do feel like I somehow got promoted.” Toni took in Shelby’s blush and grinned, “How about we do both? Any clue how we’re going to map this thing?” She shrugged out of her bag, pulling the water and food out for them. 

Shelby shook her head. “Not really, I know that way is north.” 

Toni nodded, “any chance drawing is among the things you’re good at?” 

Shelby chuckled, “no. You?” 

Toni shrugged, “I doodle a lot, but it’s not like to scale or of anything really.” 

Shelby pulled her bag off and handed Toni the notebook and pen, “still gotta be better than me. This thing is empty, so you get 100 tries.” 

Toni chuckled, “thanks, babe.” She sat down and tore into the lychees, handing Shelby a handful as well. “You know you can take your fangs out when you eat around me.” She said without looking up. She felt Shelby stiffen next to her. “I’m not trying to make you self conscious, love. I just wanted to know. It doesn’t bother me. Your genetic mutant anti-vampire thing you’ve gotten going on.” She shot a wink at Shelby. 

Shelby sighed, Toni had seen her all sorts of naked and in all sorts of positions and had put bite marks on all sorts of places on her body, but this made her feel vulnerable somehow. “Are you sure?” She asked. 

Toni looked at her, a hint of confusion on her face. “Hundred percent, babe. I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, yeah? And not just here. I love you.” Toni smiled at her, reassuring her. 

“It would be easier. I cracked them on like the second day.” 

Toni nodded and went back to trying to draw a map of the island, trying to make the moment as casual for Shelby as she could. She could see Shelby out of her peripheral, remove them and put them in her drawstring bag. “It’s your canine teeth, right?” Toni asked, shooting Shelby a glance. 

Shelby just nodded. 

“We should get you a vampire set if we get out of here. Like long ones. That could be dope.” 

Shelby chuckled, “you know my whole life I’ve hated them. You’ve known about them for what a few weeks and you’ve suggested pranks and vampire fangs. I wish I’d had you ten years ago when my teeth didn’t grow back in and the dentist told us they never would.” 

Toni smiled at her, thinking about a seven year old Shelby meeting a seven year old Toni. Back before things got bad, before she was mad. She wondered if she ever would have gotten so angry, so volatile. Something about Shelby calmed her now when it used to set her off. “I bet seven year old you was precious. I’m sorry you didn’t have someone there to help you find the humor in them. Or come up with brilliant ideas with you. Hell, you could get gold plated or silver plated ones. Diamond encrusted.” Shelby laughed, but she panicked when she realized her mouth was open and covered her face. 

“Babe.” Toni reached over and tugged on Shelby’s forearms. “Babe,” she tried again. 

Shelby looked up at her, her green eyes watering a little. 

“No. None of that.” Toni carefully stuffed all the lychees back in her bag. “You leave me no choice.” She said, her voice serious. She tackled Shelby playfully. 

Shelby giggled as Toni rolled on top of her holding her arms still, tight to her body so she couldn’t fight back. “How are you this much stronger than me?” 

“Me, basketball. You, pageants.” Toni said, getting her legs wrapped around Shelby’s so she was in a full body lock. Toni kissed her even though Shelby was trying to wiggle away. 

“Toni, stop.” Shelby said, her voice serious suddenly and Toni froze immediately releasing her and rolling off of her, hugging her knees. Shelby frowned at Toni’s complete disappearance. 

“Did I hurt you?” Toni looked panicked, her eyes were searching Shelby’s frantically. 

“Whoah, love, no. I’m fine.” 

“I’m sorry. I was just trying to get you to see that I love you. You promise I didn’t hurt you?” 

Shelby didn’t realize Toni would get so triggered over her saying stop. “Wait, yeah, Toni. I’m fine. I just said stop because I was embarrassed. I’m not mad at you.” 

Toni looked like she was going to throw up. “I’m sorry.” 

Shelby smiled at her softly, “Hey, me too.” Shelby tucked her finger under Toni’s chin, tilting her face up. She took a deep steadying breath to ease her own nerves and kissed her. “Thank you. For loving me. Exactly as I am. I think I’m learning that I’ve never had that.” 

Toni smiled softly, still clearly rattled. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Shelby asked, “whatever has you so shaken?” 

Toni blushed, “Reagan, my ex,” Toni added unnecessarily, “I got into a fight with these guys in this parking lot. They kept saying things. About her. About us. One of them told me I could watch.” Toni rolled her eyes, “I just see red. When I get that mad. There’s no solution. I just see red. Anyways. I tried to fight all three of them at once, and she was trying to pull me out of it and I hit her.” Toni shot a nervous glance at Shelby. “Obviously, hitting her was an accident. I was trying to hit douchebag number one, but I did, I busted her lip. She dumped me the next day.” 

“You were afraid you hurt me?” Shelby asked, her green eyes digging into Toni’s. 

Toni nodded, “I don’t ever want to hurt you. That’s why I feel so bad about being such an asshole to you. From before.” 

“You did hit me with a tree.” Shelby teased, but Toni flinched. “Hey, sweetie.” Her voice was soft. “I forgive you. For anything mean you said or thought for the first two weeks you knew me. I forgive you. Do you forgive me for the judgmental glances and anything I might have prayed that I now really really wish I could take back?” 

Toni chuckled, “Only if you tell me something you prayed about me.” 

Shelby blushed, “I don’t think that’s how forgiveness works, but I think you’re trying to feel better about your behavior, so I’ll tell you. I prayed for god to cleanse your soul and help you come out of your sinful lifestyle.” 

Toni laughed, “you prayed for me to be straight.” 

Shelby laughed with her, “yes. And I really wish I could take that back. You’re perfect, exactly as you are.” 

Toni shook her head, “not even close.” 

Shelby sighed, “fine, you are working really hard to be a better, less angry person every day.” 

Toni smiled, “I accept and forgive you for praying all that.” Toni kissed her again before picking the journal up to try and map the island. 

“Hey, love?” 

“Hmmm?” Toni hummed without ever looking up. 

“Can we have one more serious conversation while we’re up here?” Shelby asked. 

Toni looked up at her and frowned, “yeah of course. What’s up?” 

“Do you really feel like you don’t matter?” 

Toni eyes widened, the question clearly catching her off guard and pushing her deep into thought. “I think,” Toni started, her voice quieter than normal, her hands still busy trying to draw a map. “I think I matter to you. And I think, despite Martha taking me off her list of problems that I matter to her, but in the grand scheme of things…” Toni shrugged, “I don’t know. When we found that phone, did you notice how some people had people to call and others didn’t?” 

Shelby frowned, she hadn’t noticed that. Of course Toni did, she paid attention to people. “No, I didn’t,” Shelby admitted. 

“Okay, well Dot didn’t have anyone to call, and Fatin didn’t have anyone to call. And I really didn’t have anyone to call.” Toni shrugged. 

“Okay, but not having reliable adults in your life doesn’t mean you don’t matter.” 

Toni sighed, “Babe...It’s not that I don’t matter. I just... I don’t have much of a future. Literally my goal in life is to not get addicted to anything and make enough money to one day be able to have my own fucking bedroom. Okay, that’s my fucking dream. I’m not going to cure cancer or change the world. It’s not that I’m a waste of space or time or energy, but Martha has little sisters and parents and college and she’s never even been in love or had sex. I don’t know. In that moment, I just thought she deserved life more than me. She’s also my best friend in the world. Hell yeah, I would die for her.” 

Shelby was quiet for a long time, watching Toni. She had never thought about what Toni’s big dreams might be. She had asked her what was next, but never thought about how excited Toni might be to one day live by herself or maybe have one normal roommate. “I understand all that you’re saying, and I’m not trying to like, change your mind, but please know that you do matter. Especially to me, but also just in general.” 

Toni smiled at her softly, “I’ll work on believing you.” 

Shelby smiled back, teeth out and all. “Thank you.” 

Toni passed out their evening goat portions and went back to drawing a second map. Shelby scooted behind her and started rubbing her shoulders as she drew. Toni leaned back into it, clearly enjoying it. “Are you trying to back massage self worth into me?” 

Shelby laughed, “maybe. Is it working?” 

Toni laughed, letting her head fall back onto Shelby’s shoulder. “Maybe.” She showed Shelby her second map. “What do you think? Horrible or atrocious?” 

“Let me see the first one?” Toni showed her the first one. 

“Well, it’s getting better.” 

Toni laughed, “I love you, too.” 

“Maybe by map one hundred it’ll look like the island?” Shelby giggled, leaning forward to kiss Toni’s cheek. 

“Fuck Goodkind, you’re trying to help my self esteem, remember? Deep convo, five minutes ago.” 

Shelby laughed, “I love you, you’re beautiful and you are good at so many things, that aren’t drawing maps.” 

“What kind of things?” Toni asked, her voice dropping as she turned to face Shelby. 

Shelby blushed, suddenly very aware that she had never put her teeth back in. Her eyes flashed to her bag. Toni had forgotten as well, but saw the internalized fear on Shelby’s face. She reached over and grabbed Shelby’s bag for her. “I’m supposed to get permanent ones.” Shelby whispered suddenly. 

“Won’t that hurt?” Toni asked while dramatically covering her eyes for Shelby so she could put them back in. 

Shelby tugged Toni’s hand down when she was done. “It could, but I’ve wanted it for so long.” 

“Well, then I’m happy for you?” Toni said, more as a question. A mischievous smile tugged at the corners of her mouth “Can I aggressively kiss you now?” 

Shelby laughed. “Yes, please. And more?” 

Toni nodded, her eyes fixed on Shelby’s lips, “oh, yeah. So so so much more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this chapter being a little angsty/emo. I feel like they still had some shit to resolve. Also, I rewatched the show and couldn't get over Toni's I don't matter breakdown. Can someone please just hug them after all this?
> 
> I think in this little version of the beautiful Wilds universe, they can start focusing on the future now and what that could possibly look like for them. I'm really excited about that prospect. Hear me out here... flash forwards?? I'm not sure how that would work, but let me know if anyone would be down. 
> 
> It's almost the weekend :)  
> -Em


	13. Chapter 13

Shelby woke up with a start, she’d had a nightmare for the first time in over a week. She couldn’t stop fixating on her parents back home and how they were going to react to her if they ever got off the island. She was one hundred percent sure that she was going to stay with Toni. There was no going back now. She knew that her dad had told her that being gay was going to leave her all alone, but Shelby didn’t feel alone at all. It helped that Toni was laying almost completely on top of her with her signature death grip in full force. But emotionally, she felt more connected to another human being than she ever had before. As guilty as she felt in thinking it, even more connected than she had with Becca.

She thought about her dad and his hatred of the gays. Toni had been right, it was hatred. And it was something her father had instilled in her. She thought about Kyle and his conversion therapy out in west Texas. She thought about Becca committing suicide. She wasn’t going to be either of them. She tightened her grip around Toni, holding the other woman tighter to her chest, determined and resolved to never give this up, no matter what. Toni murmured happily in her sleep, reaffirming Shelby’s commitment. 

Shelby ran her fingers through Toni’s wavy hair, humming an old country song she couldn’t remember all the words to. She chose to think about last night instead of the potential stress of her parents. 

_Toni had barely let Shelby finish her sentence before tackling her again. Her fingers sliding up under Shelby’s shirt. Shelby giggled as Toni kissed down her neck and licking back up, moaning at the taste of Shelby’s salty sweat. Toni didn’t even bother trying to take some of Shelby’s clothes off her, she wanted to touch her. Toni would never know how to explain how much she physically wanted Shelby the more and more compassion the other girl showed her. No one, other than Martha, had asked Toni about her feelings, had checked on her in any way, or asked her about her hopes or plans or goals or dreams, and Shelby cockily sauntered in and flipped all of that. Toni could feel herself letting her walls down, really letting Shelby in and she felt like she could breathe for the first time as a result._

_Toni’s deft fingers slipped under Shelby’s panties and went straight for her slick folds. Shelby hummed with pleasure as Toni traced up along her clit, moving her hips to the rhythm Toni was setting. “I love you touching me.” Shelby whispered, her hands cupping Toni’s face, pulling her gently up to kiss her._

_Toni bit Shelby’s bottom lip playfully, “I love touching you.”_

_Toni’s fingers were working in perfect circles around Shelby’s clit. It was making Shelby gasp a little with each perfect pass. “I swear you could get me off without ever going in me.” She chuckled, her voice low and coated with love and passion._

_“Do you want me to?” Toni asked, her fingers still moving around Shelby’s most sensitive spot._

_Shelby grinned, she loved that every time they had sex they were trying new things with each other. She nodded, she wanted to try everything with Toni. “Yes,” she said, her voice almost cracking._

_Toni smiled knowing full well, she would do whatever the fuck Shelby Goodkind asked her to do for the rest of her life. She dipped her fingers the slightest bit lower, dragging up Shelby’s juices with her stroke, redoubling her efforts on Shelby’s clit. She traced in different patterns, circles, back and forth, up and down, watching Shelby’s reaction, gauging by moans which one Shelby liked best._

_Shelby could feel her whole body start to tighten. She gripped Toni’s shoulder and pulled her in for a blistering kiss. She moaned into Toni’s mouth when she came, her whole body shaking under her. Toni slowed her movements, letting Shelby come down. “I really really love it when you do that.” Shelby said._

_Toni chuckled, licking her fingers clean. “I really really love doing that.”_

_Shelby held Toni tight to her, not ever wanting to let go._

_“Hey, babe?” Toni whispered._

_“Hmmm?” Shelby hummed, she realized then that she might be on the verge of dozing off._

_“I was going to come up with some romantic way of asking, I really was, but I just want to ask.”_

_Shelby’s eyes snapped open and found Toni’s full of warmth and love. “Ask what?”_

_Toni grinned, “do you want to be my girlfriend?” she blushed, “I know it’s silly, we’re on an island and probably never getting off, so I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to do any of the next steps, but I’m like… crazy in love with you and just kind of want to be your girlfriend.”_

_“Yes.” Shelby tugged Toni’s face down to kiss her again, “yes,” she kissed her again, “yes,” she kissed her again. “Yes.”_

“What’s the song of the morning?” Toni asked, her sleepy voice bringing Shelby back to reality. 

Shelby chuckled, “I don’t actually remember. I hadn’t realized I was humming.” 

Toni buried her face into Shelby’s exposed chest. “You’re starting to make me like mornings.” Her cranky morning voice was Shelby’s favorite thing. 

“Oh? My humming winning you over?” 

“Mmmhmm.” Toni chuckled, “remember the first day on the island and we went on that walk and you threatened to sing when you were peeing. You drove me crazy.” 

Shelby laughed, “not in a good way though.” 

“Oh, God, no. You were so annoying.” 

Shelby kissed the top of Toni’s head. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

Toni’s eyes fluttered open, “hey, you’re my girlfriend.” 

“Did you just remember that?” 

“Kind of.” She chuckled, “I’m excited about it though.” Toni leaned up and kissed Shelby’s neck, “as much as I don’t think you should be allowed to own or wear shirts, you’re going to get a sunburn if you stay topless for much longer.” 

Shelby giggled, “one day, when we get off this island and have our own place, we can make a rule that I don’t wear shirts in the house.” 

Toni laughed, kissing along Shelby’s collar bone, “mmmm, that’s a very good rule.” 

Shelby gasped when Toni nipped at the base of her throat. Shelby’s fingers weaved themselves into Toni’s now messy braid. She grinned mischievously and flipped them both over, settling herself down on top of Toni. Toni looked startled but pleasantly surprised at the shift. Shelby kissed down her neck. 

“Hey, babe?” 

“Hmmm?” Shelby asked sucking one of Toni’s nipples into her mouth. 

Toni moaned softly, “fuck, I’ll ask later.” 

Shelby chuckled, switching nipples, “was it important?” She asked, her voice flirty. 

Toni shook her head no, “I was just going to ask what you think about in the morning when you wake up before me and start humming old country songs.” 

Shelby smiled a sad smile, her thoughts drifting back to her nightmare and her concerns about losing her family and how sad a realization was that she would pick Toni over them any day. But it was more than just picking Toni, it was picking herself, her true self. “I had a bad dream last night,” she admitted. 

Toni propped herself up on her elbows, “do you want to talk about it?” 

Shelby bit her bottom lip, “is it bad that I really don’t care if we get rescued?” 

Toni shook her head, “nah, I’ve had that thought. I wish we had snacks though.” 

Shelby giggled, “I dreamed about my parents and their reaction to me, the real me.” She bit her bottom lip, “I’m not going back to who I was, Toni. I love you. I love… me. I love this.” She let her hands trace up Toni’s front. I think I’m just bracing for the fact that when we get back, I’m going to lose them.” 

“In theory, we could get lots of money from a lawsuit for the plane crash. I know that Dot and Fatin have plans in the works to be roommates in LA. I would really like to be an electrician. I don’t know how you feel about Minnesota, but…” 

“Did you just ask me to move in with you?” 

Toni blushed, “I mean… we already live together.” 

Shelby laughed, “I hadn’t really thought about that.” Shelby was still clearly stressed. 

“Babe, talk to me.” 

“It’s stupid.” 

“Say it anyways?” 

“I want to graduate in my hometown. With everyone knowing the real me. I want to go out with a bang.” She chuckled, “Like I want someone to say, ‘that girl used to be super jesus-y and she got in this plane crash and came back like a total lesbian and gave no fucks what anyone thought and had this super hot girlfriend.’” 

Toni laughed at that last bit. “Hell yeah, babe. Fuck ‘em.” 

“You wouldn’t be mad?” 

Toni frowned, “why would that make me mad?” 

“Because I’d spend a year away from you.” Shelby frowned, “and I sincerely doubt that my parents would let me go visit you or you come visit me.” 

Toni smiled, “if we can survive a plane crash and a deserted island and if we get rescued and make it back and if your parents agree to letting you stay through graduation, then I swear to you, Shelby Faith Goodkind, we can make it a year apart.” She kissed Shelby’s forehead, “If we get rescued, love. It’ll all work out.” 

_“Babe, babe!” Toni yelled excitedly as she walked in through the front door. She quickly unlaced her boots and ducked out of her heavy jacket. “Love? Hey, Bosco.” She said leaning down to kiss their shaggy mutt on the head. Toni stepped farther into the little house she and Shelby had just bought. Shelby was pacing in their small living room. “Look, love. They had lychees at the supermarket.” Shelby’s eyes flashed to Toni. She smiled softly when she saw her beautiful fiancee holding up a bag of the fruit they hadn’t eaten in five years. Shelby’s hands were shaking as she reached for one._

_Toni took the scene in, knowing exactly what was going through Shelby’s head. “Hey, babe? It’s going to be okay. The whole house is clean, Bosco’s training has been going really well, you look beautiful, your hair has grown out, that will make them happy, right?” Toni wrapped Shelby up in a big hug. “Look at me, love? They want to come. They’re on a plane on their way here because they’ve decided they want to be back in your life. They want to come congratulate us on our engagement and see the house we bought.”_

_“We invited them.” Shelby said flatly._

_“Yes, we did. We invited them. But, we did that months after they decided to call you. Out of the blue. Your mom called. And then we facetimed and then we told them about the engagement, and that we’d love for them to come to the wedding, and if they wanted to come before that, to see us and to see our lives they were welcome to.”_

_Shelby looked nauseous, “what if they’re just coming to tell us that they think we’re going to hell and that they’re not coming to our wedding?”_

_Toni frowned, “it seems like a really expensive trip to take to say something your mom easily could have said on one of your weekly facetimes. Look, I know your dad hasn’t participated as much in rebuilding your relationship, but he’s on the plane. Your mom sent that photo of them, so he’s coming out here. They both are. If the wedding is too much for them, so be it, but at least they’re coming here. Right?” Toni searched Shelby’s eyes hoping for confirmation that she was helping._

_Shelby smiled softly. “You’re right. I’m just panicked. I haven’t seen them in person since the day after I graduated High School and moved up here.” Toni kissed her on the forehead. “It’s going to be fine. They’re going to be so happy to know that you still go to church every Sunday and that you’re going to graduate law school with honors. Really, babe, I’m the one who should be stressing.”_

_Shelby smiled at that, she knew that Toni was incredibly stressed that her parents were coming. Normally in December, wherever they had lived over the past couple of years, Toni had hung a few strands of lights and called it a day, but this year, Toni had gone to get them a real tree and ornaments, and stockings--even one for Bosco-- and had wrapped the front yard tree and bushes with lights. She had told Shelby that she was doing it because it was their first year in their own home, but Shelby knew that it was partly because for the past month Toni had been tackling anything and everything Shelby had put on her honey-do list so that their house would be perfect by the time the Goodkind’s arrived._

_They had done a lot to their little three bedroom two bath house since they moved in. As it turned out, Toni had an affinity for house projects. She had been a full fledged electrician for over a year and had gotten to meet a lot of people who taught her a lot of stuff in the process, but together they had put in new floors, painted all the walls, updated the appliances and lighting and put in an awesome back deck._

_Shelby loved their home, with each of them making multi-millions from the lawsuit over the Dawn of Eve trial, they could be living in a mansion writing memoirs like Fatin and Leah, or they could be traveling and blogging like Dot or even be internet influencers like Rachel, but instead, they had chosen to carry out their original plans. Sure they intended to splurge on their wedding and honeymoon, and they might have top of the line furniture and fully loaded vehicles, and not to mention the custom closet Toni built for Shelby’s extensive designer wardrobe, but for the most part, they lived a really normal life. “I think they’re going to be really happy with where we are.” Shelby said, encouraging herself more than anything._

_“Don’t let me roll my sleeve up.” Toni said, biting her lip._

_Shelby laughed, “Ah yes, the tattoo sleeve you have is going to be my parents breaking point in our lesbian relationship.” She said sarcastically._

_“Fair point.” Toni sighed, “I’m going to put the groceries away. I called DiMagio’s, Greg assured me the food would arrive here at six o’clock sharp. That should give us about an hour to get your parents settled in before dinner and plenty of time after dinner for chatting and boardgames.”_

_Shelby smiled, Toni had taken over the pacing for her. Shelby grabbed Toni’s shoulders. “We’ve got this.” She kissed her gently. “What time is it?”_

_“Eleven thirty.” Toni called over her shoulder as she walked the groceries into the kitchen._

_Shelby grinned chasing after her. “You know what that means?”_

_Toni laughed, knowing exactly what Shelby was getting at. “I need to shower before we go get your parents.”_

_“Do you need help with that?” Shelby asked, her eyes flashing to Toni's lips._

_“Always, love.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I attempted the first flash forward. What do we think? More? Never again?
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Let's all have a kick ass week, yeah?  
> -Em


	14. Chapter 14

“You really think it’ll all work out if we get rescued?” Shelby asked Toni, still unsure.

“Of course babe. Worst case scenario, on your 18th birthday we run away together and never look back.” Toni said grinning up at Shelby like she could imagine the whole thing. 

Shelby giggled, “I love you, Toni Shalifoe.” 

“I know.” Toni lifted her eyebrows playfully. “Will you fuck me now?” 

Shelby let her eyes drift slowly down Toni’s body. They had slept topless, but Toni had strong opinions on bugs going for her ass. They had never slept bottomless. Shelby wondered how glorious that might feel as she let her hand follow the path of her eyes, hooking her fingertips on Toni’s waistband and pulling her black joggers down. “Maybe,” Shelby whispered seductively. She slid her hands back up Toni’s calves and thighs, up her waist and chest. 

Toni’s breath hitched, when Shelby pinched her nipples. “Please?” 

“Hmmmm…” Shelby pretended to think about it, lazy tracing light circles around Toni’s belly button with her pointer finger, watching Toni’s abs flex as she moved. She raked her nails up Toni’s abs eliciting a gasp. She smirked, loving how sensitive Toni’s stomach was. 

“Babe?” Toni practically whined. 

“Yes, love?” Shelby asked innocently. 

“This is bordering on torture.” 

Shelby chuckled, “I’m just taking my time.” 

Toni huffed in annoyance. Shelby hadn’t frustrated her this much since she had kissed her a few weeks ago. “Fine,” Toni said with a set jaw, and she moved her hand down between her thighs. 

Shelby caught her wrist, and shook her head. “Nope.” She pinned Toni’s wrist above her head and rolled to straddle her, her other hand grabbing Toni’s and pinning it along with the first. 

Toni could get out of this if she wanted. They both knew it, too. But there was something about how in control of the situation Shelby was, that made Toni stop resisting. As much as she wanted to get off, she wanted to let Shelby be completely in charge. 

Shelby’s eyes devoured Toni. Shelby took in how heavily Toni was already breathing, the sweat glistening on her skin. There was something in the way that she looked so vulnerable, so willing. “Flip over,” Shelby said, her voice cut with the current of a command. 

Toni searched Shelby’s eyes, seeing a hunger she had never seen. A smile crossed over both their lips. Toni nodded and rolled over onto her stomach. 

_Toni laughed as Shelby chased her through their small house, stripping as they ran. “We’re going to have to pick all those up before we leave.” Toni said when they had made it to the master bath._

_Shelby grinned and shrugged, her fingers already unbuttoning Toni’s shirt. Toni’s wardrobe was mostly button down shirts with fun patterns. She knew how much Shelby enjoyed taking them off her, sometimes ripping them with abandon, often muttering something about being able to buy more damn shirts, but today she was taking her time unbuttoning it from the bottom up and was kissing Toni’s neck with each button. Toni reached behind her and twisted the faucet, turning the water on full blast behind them. Toni liked scalding showers, and Shelby liked Toni wet._

_Shelby quickly unfastened Toni’s belt and yanked it through all of her loops in one pull. “Damn, Goodkind,” Toni said, already sounding out of breath._

_Shelby grinned at her, unhooking her pants and tugging the zipper down. Toni’s pants fell to the floor leaving her in an undershirt and boxer briefs, which Shelby quickly disposed of. Shelby kissed her deeply, guiding her backwards into the shower behind her._

_They had spared no expense on the shower, with two rainfall shower heads, separate detachable wall mounts, and in shower seating, they were set. It was one of those little luxuries Shelby had made a point to ensure, she said they had gone enough days without a good shower that they had earned the best. She lifted Toni’s leg, setting it gently down on the bench seat and dropped to her knees in front of her. She looked up at Toni, the hot water cascading down her front, steam filling the room. Toni cupped Shelby’s face tenderly, brushing a thumb over Shelby’s lips. Shelby sucked her thumb into her mouth._

_Toni let her head fall back against the frosted glass wall. Shelby licked the water up Toni’s thighs, all the way up to her most sensitive spot. Toni moaned when Shelby sucked on her clit, her fingers tangling in Shelby’s soaking wet hair. Shelby slipped two fingers deep inside Toni, letting every stress in the world fade away._

_Toni rocked her body into Shelby’s tongue. Gasping with each thrust and each flick of Shelby’s tongue. “Fuck, babe.” Toni’s voice was raspy, “how?” She groaned._

_“You okay?” Shelby asked, stilling her motions and looking up into Toni’s eyes._

_Toni nodded, “I’m just already about to come.” Toni blushed._

_Shelby chuckled, “We’ve been together a while, sweetie. I know how to get you off.”_

_Toni grinned, “I know, I just want more.”_

_“You can have as much as you want.” Shelby said, her tongue sliding back through Toni’s folds, flexing her fingers inside of Toni, her heart soaring as Toni came around her._

“Forty-two. I’ve drawn Forty-two maps. Do any of them look like the island?” Toni asked, fed up with the whole project. 

Shelby giggled, she had given Toni a hard time all day, but most of them were actually really good. 

“Why are you laughing?” Toni asked, her voice full of frustration. 

“Babe, they’re all good.” Shelby leaned over and kissed her. “They’re more than good enough for what Dot and Rachel are wanting to accomplish. And you and I have picked out a few places we need to do more scouting, for food and resources and just to see what’s there. You’ve really done great.” 

“Then why in the fuck did you have me draw the last three?” Toni was trying really hard to actually be mad, but the look in Shelby’s eyes was making her forget why. Jesus, she was doomed. A few weeks ago she might have considered hitting Shelby with another tree. But now, Shelby was propped up on her elbows, wearing only Toni’s tank top and her black lacy underwear. 

Shelby bit her lip, trying to keep from smiling, knowing that if she did, Toni might actually get mad. “I like watching you draw. And I like being up here with you. And I didn’t want to put all my clothes on. And I really didn’t want you to put all your clothes back on. Plus I kept hoping you’d draw me like one of your French girls.” 

Toni rolled her eyes. “But we could have been doing other things.” 

Shelby smiled, “I know. But I also just like existing next to you.” 

Toni blushed, she knew exactly what Shelby meant. It had been a really awesome day. She still narrowed her eyes at Shelby, but she could even hold that for long. “Ugh, fine. I like it too. But I’m not drawing any more damn maps.” 

Shelby laughed, “that’s fair. Want to draw on me?” 

Toni raised an eyebrow, “like give you a fake tattoo?” 

Shelby nodded, “Yep, anywhere you want.” 

Toni grinned and tugged Shelby’s lacy underwear down a little, exposing her hip bones. She drew a tiny heart and colored it in. “You make my black heart full or some cheesy shit like that.” 

Shelby pulled Toni in for a kiss. 

_Toni traced the heart on Shelby’s hip as she dried off. She still couldn’t believe she had gotten it for real. She got it the same day Toni had started her sleeve. Asking Jon the tattoo artist if he would do it while he was wrapping up Toni’s arm. Toni had been stunned. Jon was more than happy to oblige once he had heard the backstory. And so, the only tattoo Shelby had was a small black heart on her left hip._

_Shelby laughed, her body rocking into Toni’s touch, “my phone alarm is going to go off in twenty minutes telling us to head out the door.”_

_Toni bit her lip, “how long are they staying again?”_

_“Four days.”_

_“Have we ever gone four days without having sex? Like other than when we lived apart senior year of high school…”_

_Shelby’s eyes widened, realizing they hadn’t. Toni had even gone on a business trip once for a few days and they had had really graphic skype sex. “How did we not think of that when we were convincing them to stay here and not the hotel?”_

_Toni shrugged, “we were just so happy they were coming?” Toni kissed her cheek. “I’m going to go pick up all your clothes and get dressed.” She winked at her, “we can do this.”_

They made their way back down the mountain when the sun started sinking, not wanting to get caught out in the dark. Shelby was hiking down in just her sports bra, Toni’s sweater tied tight around her waist. “Hey, sweetie, can I have some water?” 

Toni smiled, “of course, babe.” She stopped and pulled the pack off her back. She held the last of the water out to Shelby. 

“Oh, shit. We’re almost out. I don’t need it that bad.” 

Toni kissed her, “we’re almost back, babe. You can have it. There will be more at camp when we get there.” 

Shelby’s heart fluttered, this was what real love looked like. Not drinking the last of the water, not caring if Shelby’s teeth were in, listening to her fears about her parents. Shelby drank the last gulp of water and handed the bottle back to Toni. “I love you.” 

Toni pressed her forehead against Shelby’s, “I love you, too.” She nodded her head back towards camp, “Come on. It’s getting dark.” 

They were farther away from camp than either of them realized and sure enough, it got dark on them as they were walking. “Should we stop?” Toni asked, not having a clue how far away they were from camp. 

They were quiet for a second, they could hear the sound of the ocean roaring. “We can’t be more than a few miles out. I’d rather hike it in. We don’t have any water.” Shelby sounded a little nervous. 

“Okay, love. No worries then. We hike it in.” Toni said confidently. She held her hand out to help Shelby down a steep rocky step. 

“Want me to lead the way?” Shelby asked, kissing Toni on the cheek. 

Toni grinned, “are you asking if I want to stare at your ass with the little remaining light? Absolutely.” 

Shelby slipped, missing her next step, her ankle twisting, her shin hitting a sharp rock. Blood trickled down her leg. “Fuck.” It came out as a whisper. She was completely out of breath, the pain was shooting through her body. Toni quickly pulled her pack off and dropped to her knees next to her, trying to assess the situation. 

“Okay, nothing looks broken, so that’s good. Just a pretty gnarly scrape, yeah?” 

Shelby shook her head. It wasn’t broken, but it was definitely sprained. 

Toni pulled her tank top off and wiped up some of the blood. “Sprain?” 

Shelby just nodded, her eyes watering in pain. Toni kissed her knee above the gash. 

“Okay.” Toni said, tying the tank top as tightly as she could over the gaping cut in Shelby’s leg. “Here’s the deal. We’re about two miles out of camp. You’re in a lot of pain. You’ve also got a cut that Dot needs to look at STAT. I’m not losing you to some bullshit gangrene on an island.” 

Shelby almost laughed, Toni was in full drive and serious mode and if Shelby weren’t in so much pain and if Toni weren’t clearly so stressed and in survival mode, Shelby would think it was adorable. 

“Do you trust me?” 

“Of course.” Shelby said without thought. 

“This might hurt a bit.” Toni said, she stuffed her pack into Shelby’s then tightened it back up on Shelby’s back. She crossed her arms in front of her taking Shelby by either wrist, lifting and spinning Shelby onto her back. 

Shelby hissed in pain, but held on tight to Toni’s shoulders. “Love, you can’t walk me all the back down hill and across a beach for over a mile.” 

“Like hell I fucking can’t.” Toni said, picking her steps carefully. 

_Toni had a death grip on Shelby’s hand as they entered the airport. It had been years since she had seen Toni this nervous. “Love, it’s going to be okay.”_

_Toni nodded, but looked completely unconvinced as she scanned the boards looking for an incoming flight from Austin. “Terminal One. Or should we meet them by baggage?”_

_Shelby looked at her phone. “My mom said baggage. They just landed.”_

_Toni beelined it for the baggage area._

_“Love, breathe. They’re going to like you.” Shelby said, hopeful. At least Toni looked incredibly presentable. She looked damn good actually, with her grey peacoat and navy blue button down tucked into well fitted light blue skinny jeans._

_They sank into chairs by baggage, scanning the crowd as people made their way to find their bags. Shelby stood up suddenly, yanking Toni up with her. She squeaked, “Dad!” She yelled over the crowd, waving high over her head. Toni chuckled, loving how excited Shelby was._

_Shelby’s mom wrapped Shelby in the biggest hug. Toni quickly tugged her glove off and extended her hand to Shelby’s dad. “Welcome, sir. Glad you made it in safely.”_

_He took it, both of them clearly a bit nervous. “Thank you, Toni.” He said nodding and smiling a sad smile._

_When Shelby’s mom freed her, she flung herself on her dad. He looked a bit startled, but he did relax a bit, “hey, baby.” He said finally._

_Shelby’s mom pulled Toni in for an awkward hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you in person, sweetie.” She said with the same thick Texas accent that Shelby had._

_“You, too, Mrs. Goodkind. Can I carry a bag for you?”_

_“Oh sure, sweetie. Thanks.”_

_Toni quickly collected Mrs. Goodkind’s carry on as they made their way to the baggage trolley. Once Toni and Mr. Goodkind were loaded down with luggage, they headed out to the parking lot and towards Shelby’s new Bronco. Toni unlocked it and helped Mr. Goodkind stack the luggage in the back._

_“This is a nice car you have here.” He said to Toni._

_Shelby grinned, “This one’s mine. Toni’s just driving because she’s convinced I can’t drive when it snows.”_

_Toni blushed, it was true. Shelby was a terrible driver when it snowed._

_Shelby’s parents thankfully found this hilarious. “Want to ride in the front, dad?”_

_“Sure.” He said, climbing into the passenger seat._

_Toni swallowed nervously. They lived about an hour away from the airport and Dave Goodkind is the one they were both a bit nervous about. Toni took a deep breath before getting in the driver’s seat. They chose to come, Toni reminded herself. He was going to be nice. She fired up the new Bronco and turned the heater up high and the music down to a more reasonable volume._

_“So Toni, Jobeth tells me you're an electrician,” Dave said._

_Toni nodded, keeping her eyes on the road. “Yes, sir. Fully certified for a little over a year now.”_

_“What made you want to do that? Is that what your dad does?”_

_Toni’s jaw tightened, she knew Shelby had mentioned to Jobeth that Toni’s parents were a sore subject. She took another deep breath, telling herself that he probably has no idea. “To be honest with you, sir. I have no idea what my dad does. I’ve only met him once and it didn’t exactly go well.”_

_Toni thought back to the moment two years ago her dad had tried to contact her. He wanted some of her money, that much was clear. Sadly, she would have given him some if he had done anything to show he wanted to build a relationship with her, but he didn’t. He just wanted a million dollars and to bounce. Toni had filed for a restraining order just to be safe and to keep Shelby safe._

_“What about your mom? What does she do.”_

_Toni let out a low whistle. She chuckled, “well, she’s in rehab again. This time sponsored by the state penitentiary. But hey, she’s got three square meals, a roof over her head, and she’s actually clean for once.”_

_Shelby reached up and squeezed Toni’s shoulder, “you know you’ve helped a lot with that, Love.” Shelby smiled at her parents, she was proud of Toni and the strides she had made to repair--or build, really--her relationship with her mom. “Toni goes every Sunday to see her, and writes her a letter once a week, and talks to her on the phone on Monday evenings.”_

_Toni blushed, she could hear how proud of her Shelby was. It hadn’t been easy, but Toni really wanted to help her mom when she got out. She wasn’t exactly opening up the guest room, but she would co-sign an apartment for her and invite her over for dinner and make sure she had a way to get to and from work. Toni had become a firm believer in it’s never too late to get your shit together and she was more than committed to helping her mother, as long as her mother stayed committed to helping herself._

_“That’s got to be hard.” Jobeth said, filling the silence._

_Toni shrugged, “honestly, I feel better about her where she is than I have for the past decade. She’s safe and warm for the winter and you know, sometimes that’s all I can ask for with her.”_

_Shelby squeezed Toni’s shoulder one more time before scooting back in her seat. “How are Spencer and Melody?” She asked, changing the subject off of Toni’s family._

_Jobeth lit up and started rambling on about Spencer’s senior year and how he had a little girlfriend he was going to take to prom. Toni relaxed a bit and focused on getting them home._

“Sweetie are you doing okay?” Shelby asked after Toni had been carrying her for what felt like an hour. 

“Yeah, babe. We got this.” Toni said, breathing heavily. “How are you doing? How's your ankle?” 

Shelby hugged tighter around Toni’s shoulders, “I’m trying not to think about it.” 

“Got it. Well, tell me something else about you, distract us both?” Toni said, her feet finally hitting the sand of the beach, knowing for certain they still had at least a mile to go and it was going to be all through sand. 

“I’ve always wanted to shave my head.” 

Toni laughed, “bullshit.” 

Shelby squeezed harder, “I have!” She laughed, “I think I’d look badass.” 

“I think you’d look badass too, but I can’t imagine you ever doing it.” Toni laughed, “I don’t mean that as an insult, I think you’d look fucking hot. I just can’t imagine you taking a razor to your head.” 

“I’m going to one day.” 

“Right-on.” Toni said, her breathing getting heavier as she fought with the sand. “Say more things.” 

“I’ve always wanted a dog.” 

“Me, too.” 

“Let’s get a dog.” Shelby said, Toni could hear the pain in her voice. 

“Okay, what would you name him or her?” Toni was completely out of breath, but she didn’t want to sit Shelby down and then not be able to lift her back up and she sure as hell wasn’t going to leave her. 

“Bella if it’s a girl. I think that’s a cute dog name.” Shelby lifted herself up a bit on Toni’s back, her ankle flashing in pain. “You get to name it if it’s a boy.” 

“Hmmmm…” Toni said, “Bosco.” 

Shelby giggled, “is our dog Russian?” 

Toni huffed out a laugh, “Maybe. We’ll have to ask him. It was the closest thing to Bella I could think of.” 

“It’s cute. I like it. I love him already.” 

Toni laughed. “Oh thank, fuck.” She said as she moved around a large rock. Their campfire was finally visible.” 

“You’re my hero, did you know that?” Shelby asked, kissing Toni on the cheek, “thank you for not leaving me.” 

“I would never leave you, Love.” Toni said, doubling her pace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my actual dog, Bosco, for cowriting this chapter. (He scrunched all forty pounds of himself in between me and my laptop). 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Your comments give me life!
> 
> Hope you're having a great week,  
> Em


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. I mean it when I say let me know if you want to see something.... Hope you enjoy ;)

“Dottie, give me good news.” Toni said, her voice serious, she looked worried.

Martha had seen them first and could tell immediately that something was wrong. Best friend intuition or something, but she had gotten the other girls to run out with her to meet them. Dot did her best to look at Shelby’s wound in the dark. 

“Well, it’s not broken, so that’s good.” Dot said, carefully unwrapping Shelby’s leg. 

Toni had Shelby’s blood all down her bare side. Leah tried to look her over without her noticing, but Toni was on edge. “Leah, what the fuck are you doing?” 

“Your side is kind of covered in blood. I just want to make sure you’re not also injured.” Leah stepped behind Fatin, putting the other girl in between herself and Toni’s rage. Not blaming Toni for her emotions running wild, just on edge as to how far they might go. 

Toni swallowed it back though and nodded, “it’s not mine.” Her voice was soft. She looked out at the ocean, knowing if she looked at Shelby, Shelby would find fear. That thing she had said when Toni had been panicked about Martha kept playing through her head on a loop. She took a deep breath and forced a smile before turning back. “You’re doing great, babe.” 

“We need to clean this gash. It’s pretty deep and I can tell there’s dirt in it. Rachel, will you grab me the vodka?” 

Shelby’s eyes widened with fear, searching Toni’s. Toni’s jaw was set. Dot was right. “It’s going to be fine, babe. I’m right here and you’re going to squeeze my hand and you’re going to think about something else, anything else. Okay?” 

Shelby nodded, her breathing shallow. Toni wondered how much blood she had lost on the way down the mountain. Toni sat down behind her and pulled her up so that she was leaned back against her chest. She wrapped her arms around Shelby, holding her tightly in a hug from behind and started to hum an old country song. 

_Toni backed into their little driveway._

_“Oh look how cute your little house is all done up for Christmas.” Jobeth exclaimed._

_Dave nodded, “did y’all hire a company?”_

_Shelby laughed, “No, daddy. This was all Toni. I think she wanted to impress our new neighbors.”_

_Toni laughed, they both knew that it was the Goodkind’s she had wanted to impress, but she was thankful Shelby hadn’t thrown her under the bus for that one. They made their way inside and were greeted by Bosco._

_“This is Bosco Bear,” Shelby said lovingly as they entered. “And this,” she continued, “is our home.”_

_Jobeth seemed impressed, she loved the floors they had picked and the countertops and cabinets. Dave even complimented the modern lighting. They showed them the guest bathroom and the guest room and left them to settle in. Shelby looked so happy she could cry._

_“It’s going okay, yeah?” Toni said, wiping her palms on her jeans and ducking out of her peacoat._

_“Better than okay. I think my dad likes you!” Shelby laughed._

_Toni smiled, it had gone better than she had imagined it could so far. Toni checked her watch, dinner was set to arrive in about thirty minutes._

_“We still good on time?”_

_“Yeah, like thirty minutes until dinner gets here, so we should be great. Want to help me set the table?” Toni raised her eyebrows seductively._

_Shelby laughed at her, but went to grab the placemats._

_Jobeth entered the room and smiled when she saw the two girls helping each other set the table. “You know y’all do really have a lovely little home.”_

_Toni and Shelby smiled at each other. “Thanks, mom.” Shelby said, her voice full of pride. “I’m so glad y’all came up here to see it.”_

_Dave popped back into the room, he was still taking everything in. Toni could sense that he was overwhelmed. She smiled at him when they accidentally caught eyes. Dave cleared his throat, “so tell me, Toni, what else do you do. When you’re not working or visiting your mom in jail.”_

_“David.” Jobeth said, her voice sharp._

_Dave grimaced, “I didn’t mean for that to sound so harsh, Toni. I’m sorry. I just meant, hobbies. Do you have any hobbies?”_

_Shelby’s eyes stayed locked on Toni’s tight jaw. That was exactly the kind of statement that pissed Toni off. She watched as Toni nodded._

_“Yeah.” Toni forced out, doing her best to keep her voice light, “Do you like cars, sir?”_

_“Yeah, I do.”_

_“Let me show you Miss Kim.” She gestured to their garage and Dave led the way. Toni winked at Shelby before following him._

_When Toni got out in the garage, she pulled back the cover on her solid black 1977 el Camino._

_“She’s a beauty.”_

_“Fully restored her. Finished over the summer.” Toni popped the hood so Dave could get a better look at all she had done to it._

_“Hey, Toni, I’m sorry about before.” He swallowed hard. “Look I’m trying here. I’m really struggling with all this.”_

_Toni nodded, surprised that he was sharing, but thankful that he was being honest. “I understand, sir. I know it goes against everything you’ve been taught, too. Shelby kind of struggled with everything for a few years. I know she didn’t act like it to me, but I could tell. She’d let go of my hand sometimes when we were out in public and it took her even longer to go back to church regularly, so I get that it’s not easy for you.”_

_David nodded and heaved a sigh of relief. “I got a new mentor and have been doing a lot of research and reading and re-reading and reading different translations and I think I might have been in the wrong. It’s just, that’s my little girl.” Dave shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets, “what if I was right and she goes to hell and I didn’t do anything to try and stop it.”_

_Toni was flabbergasted, she hadn’t expected Dave to really speak to her the entire time he was there and now he was trying to have a conversation she was wildly unprepared for. “Well, I mean, she’s an awesome person who’s loving and kind and thoughtful and helpful and does community service projects and goes to church every Sunday and prays every night before bed. I think you did do your best to help her soul. I think you’ve gotta let the rest be between her and her god, yeah?”_

_Dave chuckled, “Good answer.”_

_Toni laughed, but her face got serious, “hey, sir?”_

_“You can call me Dave.”_

_Toni nodded, “okay, Dave.” She swallowed nervously, “Shelby’s going to ask you…” Toni rolled her eyes, “probably tonight, because she’s too excited and not the world’s most patient person, but she’s going to ask you at some point if you’ll walk her down the aisle.”_

_Dave frowned, “Toni, I don’t know--”_

_Toni held her hand up, cutting him off. “I know. That’s why I’m warning you. I’m trying to give you some time to think about it. She is so excited you’re here. If she asks and if your answer is going to be no, can you just tell her that you’ll really think about it. Tell her no after you get home, don’t ruin the trip for her. Please?”_

_Dave nodded. “Thank you, Toni.”_

_Shelby opened the garage door, nervously peeking around at the two of them looking at the engine Toni had rebuilt. “Well, y’all ready for dinner?”_

_“Yeah.” Dave called back._

_Toni dropped the hood on Miss Kim and started to pull the cover up and over her. Dave helped her get it evenly over the car. Shelby grabbed Toni’s arm as she entered the house. “You good?” She whispered._

_Toni smiled a real smile and kissed Shelby on the cheek, “yes, Love. Dave and I get along quite fine.”_

_“Dave?” Shelby whispered._

_Toni just winked at her. “What did we miss in here?” Toni asked more to Mrs. Goodkind than Shelby._

_“Shelby was walking me through some of the beautiful photos you have hanging on the walls. I had no idea y’all had gone to some many places.”_

_They all sat down around the table and passed out the food while they chatted. Toni nodded happily, “yeah, we’ve been to some really cool places. Every year the girls all do a reunion thing, which I’m sure she told you. Just this past summer was Paris and Spain.”_

_“I still can’t believe you and Rachel ran from the bulls.” Shelby said with a laugh._

_Toni laughed with her, “it was a bucket list item for me.”_

_“Where else have y’all gone?” Dave asked, looking genuinely invested in the conversation._

_Shelby took her teeth out and set them under the corner of her plate. Jobeth and Dave eyed them and Toni. “Y’all we’re engaged, she knows my little secret.”_

_“I thought you were going to get the permanent ones.” Jobeth said._

_Shelby shrugged, “I know, and I still might one day, I just feel like that’s a lot of hassle to go through for something so trivial. You know? They’re just teeth.”_

_“But it’s fixable.” Dave said, his voice more firm._

_Shelby flinched, that was the tone he used when she was a kid. That was the tone that had always made her a little bit scared of him. Toni grabbed Shelby’s hand on the table and smiled at her. “Only needs to be fixed if you view it as a problem. Whereas I view it as super entertaining.”_

_“Entertaining?” Dave’s voice was flat._

_Toni laughed, “Show them halloween this year.”_

_Shelby laughed, she pulled out her phone and scrolled to halloween, “we went as vampires.” She slid her phone over to between her mom and dad, they looked at the photo of a very happy Shelby and Toni. Shelby was smiling at the camera, her full smile revealing a custom flipper with fangs instead of normal canine teeth. Toni’s eyes were locked on Shelby’s face and were full of love. The rest of their outfits were typical cheesy old school vampire costumes, white button downs, knee length capes with high collars, and ridiculous canes. “You can scroll if you want, there are some good ones. Leah and Fatin flew out to experience Minneapolis for Halloween.”_

_Toni smiled remembering the evening. That was the first time Leah and Fatin had gotten to see the ring she had gotten Shelby in real life. They had spent the whole day while Toni was at work helping Shelby find one for Toni. Toni knew there was a picture coming up where she and Shelby were kissing, holding their ring fingers up to the camera. Jobeth clapped excitedly when she got to it. Dave looked a little nauseous. Toni smiled kindly at him, she knew he was trying and how hard it was on him._

_“Is this when y’all got engaged?” Jobeth asked._

_Shelby laughed, “no, we got engaged a few weeks before that. That was just the first night Toni had her ring.” Shelby pulled her phone back, flipping through it for pictures from their engagement._

_Toni pulled her phone out of her pocket. “I mean, you can show them the video if you want.” She handed her phone to Shelby._

_Shelby's eyes searched her mom's, “Do y’all want to see it?”_

_Jobeth’s eyes watered, “of course, sweetie.”_

_Dave cleared his throat. “How about we watch that after dinner.”_

_Shelby and Jobeth didn’t let it phase them. “Yeah!” Shelby exclaimed, “we can do the screen share thing with the big tv.”_

_“When are y’all doing your engagement shoot?” Jobeth asked._

_Toni racked her brain for ways they could change the subject for Dave’s sake, but Shelby and Jobeth were too excited to be stopped._

_Shelby excitedly answered her mom “I called Dottie, we’re going to plan a trip for early spring so she can take them for us.”_

_“Oh that sounds wonderful.” Jobeth said._

_Toni and Dave ate in relative silence while Jobeth and Shelby rattled on. “Do you want to go dress shopping with me while you’re here, mom?”_

_Jobeth’s eyes watered. “Oh my, Shelby. I would be honored.”_

_Dave was getting more and more tense as the dinner went on. Toni watched helplessly as Jobeth and Shelby stayed blissfully unaware of the rising tension. “Hey, Shelbs, not to change the subject. Y’all, sorry, I was just wondering if you had showed them your graduation stuff. Just popped in my head. Sorry.”_

_Shelby grinned, “no, I haven’t do y’all want to see photos from my graduation?”_

_Jobeth nodded. Toni’s heart ached, painfully aware that this is how her mom must look to Shelby, wanting to see any part of Toni’s life Toni was willing to show her. Jobeth was clearly so invested in her daughter, even after everything and they had stayed away. Shelby was so happy to share, to let her back in. Toni wondered if she would ever feel that way, so happy to let her mom back in. Dave shot Toni a grateful nod, which Toni returned._

_Shelby shot Toni a glance. “I might go get the scrapbook.”_

_Toni’s eyes widened, “Dave, we’re doomed if she gets the scrapbook.” Even Dave laughed at that._

_“Got any other cars we can mess with?” He asked, his voice light, but serious._

_Toni grinned, “I’ve got something even better.”_

“Don’t let go,” Shelby said through clenched teeth. Toni squeezed tighter around her. 

“I got you, babe.” Toni’s eyes shot to Dot. 

Dot passed Shelby the bottle first letting her take a big gulp of the vodka. Shelby passed it back and Toni changed her grip to include being wrapped around her arms, holding all of her tight. Dot poured the vodka down Shelbys leg. Shelby hissed, her whole body turning pale. Toni thought for half a second she was going to pass out. 

“It’s okay, love. It’s going to be okay.” Toni whispered in her ear. 

Dot poured clean water over the cut afterwards, making sure everything was washed clean. “It looks like all the dirt is out and the alcohol should help with the germs.” Dot dug through the pilot's bag, finding a suture kit. “I think you need a few stitches.” 

Shelby’s eyes widened, looking up into Toni’s eyes. “You got this love.” 

Dot moved quickly, pulling rubber gloves on and threading the needle. 

Toni leaned around Shelby, blocking her view. “Look at me, love. You’re fine.” 

Shelby buried her face in Toni’s neck, holding her tight to her. Toni could feel hot tears on her neck. She could feel her own streaming down her face. They stayed like that for a few minutes after Dot had finished. Shelby finally let her body relax, the pain finally subsiding from a blinding flash to a throbbing heat. 

“You took that like a champ,” Rachel said, patting Shelby on the back. 

“Serious boss bitch,” Fatin nodded. 

Leah looked like she was going to throw up. She just gave her a thumbs up. Nora rattled off information about why alcohol causes a burning sensation, but water doesn’t. And Martha, bless Martha, she brought them some fresh water and the cleanest blanket they had to wrap up in. Martha also went to find a rock for them to elevate Shelby’s leg with. 

“Thanks, Dot.” Toni said softly, her voice serious. 

Dot just nodded, knowing. Knowing the feeling of Toni’s desperation of saving the only person who mattered. Her thoughts drifted to her dad, missing him even more in this moment. Thankful that she had learned so much from Mateo. 

Shelby stayed curled up in Toni’s lap with Toni running her fingers through her hair until the blonde fell asleep. Martha took a seat next to Toni and leaned into her. “You doing okay?” Martha asked Toni. 

Toni shook her head, checking Shelby to make sure she was asleep. “I feel like this was my fault.” 

Martha frowned, knowing Toni would say that. “How do you figure?” 

“I was in the lead, she had just past me and I was making a comment about checking out her ass. If she hadn’t been distracting, she wouldn’t have slipped.” 

Martha cupped Toni’s face. “Toni, she slipped. That’s not your fault. There’s nothing you could have done to prevent that. If you had been in the lead it could have been you who slipped. I have faith that Shelby’s strong, but you’re the most determined person in the world when it’s someone who matters. You could have carried her for ten more miles.” Martha chuckled, “you saved her life. She could have lost too much blood if you had left her.” 

Toni’s eyes watered again at the thought, her fingers running nervously through Shelby’s hair. “I’m worried it’s going to get infected.” She said, her voice full of concern. 

Martha nodded, “We’re all going to watch for that.” Martha rubbed Toni’s back. “I’ve never seen you like this.” Martha teased, trying to lighten the mood. 

Toni blushed, “it feels different.” 

Martha nodded, “it looks different.” Toni frowned, so Martha continued, “I didn’t mean that in a bad way, I just meant, I’ve never seen people look at each other like you two do. It’s like something out of a movie.” 

Toni nodded, “do you think it’s just because of our whole situation?” 

Martha chuckled, but shook her head no. “Nah, I think even if we had made it to Hawaii, y’all would have fallen in love. She got under your skin too much, even on the plane.” 

Toni chuckled, “she’s going to be okay, right?” 

“Yeah, Toni. I promise she’s going to be fine. We’re all going to make sure of it.” 

Shelby woke up the next morning, her leg throbbing in pain. She could feel Toni wrapped around her, unsure how she felt completely encompassed by her, but not mad about it at all. She kept her eyes squeezed shut, not wanting to face today, not wanting to think about her leg, and definitely not wanting to see it. Instead, she let her thoughts drift to the morning before. 

_Toni flipped over, as Shelby had commanded. She licked her lips, a nervous, excited flutter in her stomach. Shelby kissed down Toni’s spine, surprising both of them with how sensitive it seemed to be. Toni’s whole back arched as Shelby kissed lower. Toni bit her bottom lip, biting back a moan the lower Shelby got._

_Shelby let her nails drag Toni’s back, watching as every inch of Toni reacted to the contact. She let her nails rake over Toni’s ass and Toni hissed. “Good or bad?” Shelby asked._

_“Good.” Toni moaned, her lower half lifting slightly into the palm of Shelby’s hand._

_Shelby rubbed her palm over Toni’s ass, the soft supple skin sparking something in Shelby, something that she knew was part of her she had buried and locked away, never even letting her thoughts explore. “Can I..?”_

_“Yes.” Toni moaned, wanting whatever Shelby wanted. Trusting that it was going to satisfy whatever hunger they were both feeling but couldn’t find words for._

_Shelby tugged on Toni’s hips, pulling her up onto her knees, still bent forward on her forearms. Toni looked over her shoulder, up at Shelby. Their eyes locked, desire brewing in each. Shelby brought her hand down, her palm making perfect contact with Toni’s ass. Not too hard, just enough to sting._

_Toni moaned, letting her forehead rest on the ground, wanting nothing in the world but more. Shelby did it again, on the other cheek._

_She slid her hand up, in between Toni’s legs, letting her palm rest on Toni’s abdomen. They were both breathing heavily, she could feel Toni’s shallow breaths. Toni’s wetness was dripping down, onto Shelby’s forearm. Shelby gasped, sliding her hand down through Toni’s thick curls, her fingers spreading Toni’s coated lower lips. She slid three fingers into Toni easily, who moaned at this new angle and how full she felt. Toni rocked back into Shelby’s hand._

_Toni looked back at Shelby, taken by how breathtaking she was, at how this position had brought out a whole other side of her beautiful girlfriend._

_Shelby smacked her ass again, Toni arched her back, flipping her braid back._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, grabbing the braid and tugging, hopefully not too roughly._

_“Fuck.” Toni moaned._

_Shelby paused, worried she had hurt her._

_“Fuck don’t stop.” Toni breathed out her voice almost desperate, rocking her whole body back into Shelby’s front._

_Shelby’s eyes widened, she could feel her own wetness dripping down her inner thigh. She matched Toni’s rhythm. Her heart skipping with each “Yes,” that escaped Toni’s lips._

_Toni practically collapsed forward after coming around Shelby’s three fingers. Her eyes finding Shelby’s as she sucked her fingers clean. “Holy shit.” Toni whispered, completely in awe at what a vision Shelby was._

_Shelby smiled at her, innocently, despite having just fucked Toni from behind on top of a mountain. Shelby bit her bottom lip, “okay… That’s officially my favorite thing we’ve done.”_

_Toni laughed, blushing, “mine, too.”_

Toni started moving around her, pulling Shelby from her sleepy memory. She felt Toni move to her leg quickly, displaying far more energy than Toni usually had in the mornings. Toni was humming faintly, some song that Shelby didn’t recognize. It made Shelby smile. 

“Hey, good morning, love.” Toni said, when she saw Shelby’s smile. 

Shelby mumbled incoherently. 

“Am I this cute in the mornings when you’re wide awake trying to talk to me?” 

Shelby chuckled, and nodded. 

“How are you feeling?” Toni asked. 

Shelby could feel the concern in Toni’s voice, but she thought it was best to be honest. “Like shit.” 

“Did you two body swap?” Fatin asked. 

Shelby’s eyes fluttered open. She hadn’t thought about the fact that the other girls would be around them. All the girls were there, eating lychees and warming themselves by the campfire. 

Dot moved over to look over Shelby’s leg with Toni. “It’s looking okay.” 

Toni nodded. “I agree. Thanks again, dude.” 

Dot nodded, “of course.” 

Toni looked at Shelby confidently, “this is already looking a lot better, babe.” 

Shelby grinned sleepily at Toni, "I love you." 

Toni smiled, feeling some relief for the first time in twelve hours, "I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that was thing I wrote. Let me know what you think/if there's anything else y'all want to see.
> 
> We all still onboard for the forward and backwards? 
> 
> Personal note: Dave and Jobeth Goodkind remind me a lot of my family--I'm from small town Texas-- I'm cutting him a lot of slack. Let me know if I cut him too much, I just am thinking about certain family members who it really did take knowing someone personally and missing them when they left to come around. 
> 
> Thanks for reading,  
> Em


	16. Chapter 16

“Come on,” Toni said a mischievous smile across her face. She held out both her hands to Shelby.

Toni had been even more wonderful to Shelby after her leg injury. Which Shelby hadn’t even known was possible. She reached up and took Toni’s hands, not knowing what the brunette had in mind, but knowing she was game for whatever it was. Toni lifted her up onto her back, smiling bigger than Shelby had seen over the past day and a half. Toni took off towards the forest. “Uhhh, sweetie? You gonna tell me where we’re going?” Shelby asked, hanging on tightly. 

Toni laughed, “we’re going to go take baths. We haven’t gotten to since our adventure to the top of the mountain and I for one think we’ve earned them. Also, I smell.” 

Shelby leaned into Toni’s neck and inhaled deeply. 

Toni squeaked, “ugh stop. I seriously stink.” 

Shelby laughed, “I kind of like it.” 

“Freak.” Toni teased. 

Shelby nipped Toni’s neck, “maybe a little bit.” Shelby smiled cockily as Toni’s blush creeped up her neck. “Love, Dottie said I shouldn’t get my cut wet and Nora agreed with that. None of the water sources here are clean. There could be bacteria.” 

Toni nodded, starting to get out of breath as she carefully picked their way up the hillside. “Yep, we’re going to keep your leg out of the water.” 

Shelby frowned, “and how are we going to do that?” 

“When you were a little kid do you ever try to do sit-ups on the side of the pool? You know where you, like, leave your calves up on the side and then you’d lean back into the water.” 

Shelby laughed, “Yeah, but this is going to be exponentially harder than that.” 

Toni bit her bottom lip and shook her head. “How do you figure, I’m exhausted. I’m not going to be able to hold myself up. Not for long, at least.” 

“You’re uhh--not going to have to.” Toni said, pausing for a second while she concentrated on her footing up a particularly steep section. “I’m going to be in the water, and you can lean back on me.” 

Shelby hugged her tighter. “You know I love you, right.” 

Toni chuckled, “Yeah, babe. I know.” 

Toni paused for a bit, readjusting Shelby and trying to catch her breath. Fortunately, they were much more familiar with the route to the waterhole and she knew it wasn’t that much farther. “Want me to distract you?” Shelby asked. 

Toni nodded and started walking again. Her pace a little quicker, her steps more determined. 

“Okay, so I’ve been thinking about this…” Shelby started, “So you said your dream was to have your own bedroom, so I think we should get a two bedroom apartment outside of Minneapolis. I can go to the university there and you can do your apprenticeship.” 

Toni didn’t know whether she should laugh or cry, she was overwhelmed with emotions she wasn’t used to feeling. She hadn’t really thought about how Shelby would feel about her saying she wanted her own bedroom. Clearly she had respected that that’s what Toni wanted. Toni cleared her throat. “I like how that sounds.” 

“And we’ll get a dog.” 

Toni grinned, “can’t forget the dog.” 

_They had done it, they had signed the lease on a little two bedroom apartment about thirty minutes from campus and thirty minutes from Williams Electric Company. It was all Shelby could do to not jump on top on Toni in the leasing office. Toni finished signing her half of all the documents, her leg bouncing with excitement. They had graduated highschool a week ago, their lawsuit had been settled only a few months prior, Toni’s apprenticeship was set to start in two weeks, and Shelby’s first summer session for school a few days after that._

_They grabbed their welcome packet and shook the leasing agent’s hand, barely making it outside before Shelby tugged Toni in for a passionate kiss. “We need to get to 2113. Fast.” Shelby said, her voice full of desire._

_Toni let out a laugh, “shouldn’t we maybe go buy furniture?”_

_Shelby grinned, “sleeping on a bed for a year got you soft, Shalifoe?”_

_Toni’s eyes flashed to Shelby’s lips. “I’ll race you.” She said taking off towards their building before Shelby could stop her. Toni’s hands were practically shaking when she got to the front door. She had never had her own space before. Shelby had driven up to Minnesota over the past few days and had picked her up from Martha’s that morning. They had headed straight for the apartment Toni had picked out for them. Shelby hadn’t even seen the place in real life yet. She had trusted Toni’s judgement._

_Shelby made it up the stairs just in time for Toni to get the door open. Toni held it open for her, Shelby kissed her sweetly before entering. Shelby took in the apartment. It was perfect. She knew that Toni had really struggled with the notion of picking a luxury apartment, but they had both just been awarded millions of dollars and she had wanted the best for Shelby and was getting more comfortable with the notion of wanting nice things for herself. Shelby tried her best to notice the vaulted ceilings and fireplace and granite kitchen counters, but all she wanted was Toni. It had been months since she had gotten to see her. Thankfully, Toni could sense it in her and picked Shelby up and sat her down on the island in their kitchen._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, letting her arms rest on Toni’s shoulders. Toni quickly pulled her muscle shirt off and slipped her hands up under Shelby’s shirt. Yanking it off and throwing it aside, her hands making quick work of Shelby’s jeans, tugging them down Shelby’s legs, taking her socks with them. Toni tenderly kissed the scar on Shelby’s shin, tracing over it afterwards with her thumb._

_Toni’s eyes raked over Shelby’s body. Shelby had a blck lace bra and matching thong on. “Fuck, I missed you.” Toni whispered, her light brown eyes locked on Shelby’s emerald green. Her fingertips unclasped Shelby’s bra with one pinch, letting the lacy fabric fall to the floor. Toni’s mouth traced down the front of Shelby’s body, sucking her nipple into her mouth._

_Shelby moaned, the sound of her voice echoing through the empty apartment. She leaned back onto her elbows, lifting her hips for Toni to pull her thong off. Toni held it up on her fingertip, whistling a low whistle. Shelby laughed, blushing as Toni’s eyes hungrily passed over every inch of her body. Shelby was suddenly very aware of the fluorescent lighting in their kitchen. She reached out and tugged on the waistband of Toni’s jeans._

_Toni grinned, never taking her eyes off Shelby, fumbling with her belt and button trying to shimmy out of her jeans as quickly as possible. She kicked her dirty vans off with her pants, leaving her in socks, boxer briefs, and a sports bra. Shelby eased Toni’s bra off her, running her finger over the tribal tattoo Toni had covering her shoulder and bicep. Shelby had only ever seen it in photos Toni had sent her. “I love this.” Shelby said._

_Toni rested her forehead against Shelby’s. “I love you.”_

_Shelby kissed Toni gently, “I missed you so much. I love you.” Shelby’s voice cracked, her eyes were watering. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”_

_Toni wiped Shelby’s tears away with her thumbs. “It’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?”_

_Shelby shook her head no. “No, I want you in me.”_

_Toni bit her bottom lip and nodded. She knew how rough this past year had been on Shelby. She knew that when Shelby left Texas, she did so under the pretense that she was never going back. She had given up everything for this. Toni kissed her forehead, "can I make a dumb joke about fucking you on an island?" Toni gestured at the kitchen island._

_Shelby let out a loud laugh, "yes." Her voice was full of desire. She pulled Toni into another kiss._

_Toni slid her palms up Shelby’s thighs and squeezed her hips. Shelby’s fingers laced through Toni’s long wavy hair, tugging her in for a rough kiss. Toni let her thumb trace through Shelby’s folds, gasping at how wet she was. Toni coated two of her fingers in her wetness before sinking them into her. Shelby groaned into Toni’s mouth, clutching Toni’s arm. Her free hand gripping the edge of the counter._

_“Lean back,” Toni said, her voice huskier than normal._

_Shelby smiled softly, leaning back on her elbows, her mouth falling open slightly in awe as Toni sank to her knees there on the kitchen floor._

They could hear the sounds of the waterfall. Toni started taking more careful steps, not wanting to slip. She sat Shelby down on a rock on the bank and started pulling her clothes off. Shelby quickly pulled her top off, but waited for Toni’s help with her bottoms. Shelby noticed then that Toni still had some of her blood crusted to her side, realizing that Toni hadn’t left her side since the accident over a day ago. If either of them needed to pee, Toni had carried her up into the woods. Shelby tugged on Toni’s hand, pulling her to her. She cupped Toni’s cheek. “You’re really wonderful, you know that, right.” 

Toni smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She knew that Toni never felt like she was wonderful, but when Toni loved someone, man she would give them her all. Shelby wondered if Toni would ever understand how she felt about her, if she would ever know just how loved she was. Toni unbuttoned Shelby’s shorts without saying anything. Shelby helped lift herself up for Toni to pull them down. 

Toni scouted the rocks that would work for Shelby to use and then lowered herself into the water, looking for the best spot for her to stand. When she found a spot she liked, she climbed out and helped Shelby up, acting as her crutch. 

It worked better than either of them had expected. Shelby relaxed back into her, her head on Toni’s shoulder. Toni relaxed, too, letting her hands drift over Shelby’s mostly submerged body. Shelby hummed happily with each touch. Toni’s hands ghosted over Shelby’s nipples, eliciting a gasp. “Toni Shalifoe, are you trying to seduce me?” 

Toni chuckled, “Unintentionally.” She kissed Shelby’s cheek. “It’s just like I’m trying to prove to myself you’re still real. You lost a lot of blood.” 

Shelby tilted her head so that she could see Toni’s face. She saw fear, something that she had never seen on Toni. Shelby ran her fingers through Toni’s wet hair. “Nope, you’re stuck with me sweetie.” 

Toni kissed her wrist, letting her arms snake over Shelby’s waist. “Well, praise him.” She said in a fake southern accent. 

Shelby laughed, “my accent is not that bad.” 

Toni snorted, “have you heard you?” Toni kissed Shelby’s neck, “I like it though. It kind of turns me on.” 

Shelby blushed, loving that she could turn Toni on with just her voice. “Thanks for making the effort to carry me all the way up here.” 

“You’re welcome, Love.” Toni kissed her, gently. 

When they parted, Shelby’s eyes stayed locked on Toni’s lips. “Do we think Doctor Dot would frown on us having sex right now?” 

Toni eyed Shelby’s leg, it wasn’t in danger of getting wet at all, and for the most part Toni and the water were supporting Shelby’s body, it wasn’t like she was going to have to overexert herself. A cocky grin pulled over Toni’s lips as her hand slid down Shelby’s abdomen and between her legs. Shelby moaned at the immediate contact. 

“I think we should be fine like this.” Toni said, her voice coated with desire. 

Toni’s fingertips circled Shelby’s clit, just like she knew she liked it. She squeezed Shelby’s breast with her free hand. Shelby moaned in Toni’s ear. She was desperate to feel pleasure. She had felt so much pain in the last day and half, she just wanted release and Toni’s fingers were working across her clit perfectly. She reached back and let her fingers tangle into Toni’s hair. 

“Tell me what you want.” Toni said. 

“Go in me,” Shelby breathed out. 

Toni did as she was told, curling two fingers into Shelby as deeply as she could hook them. The angle was awkward, but if Shelby wanted her in her, Toni was determined to figure it out. 

“Fuck, yes, Toni.” Shelby moaned. 

Toni melted every time Shelby said her name like that, full of love and desire and need and want. Toni kissed down Shelby’s neck feeling the beginning flutters of Shelby’s orgasm, throbbing around her fingers. 

Shelby cried out when she came, her whole body arching in the water. For those precious few minutes of orgasming, the pain left her body entirely and all she felt was Toni and love. Toni kissed her deeply when she pulled out of her, wondering if feeling Shelby fall apart around her would always floor her. 

_Dave and Toni came back into the house from the garage. They had spent the latter half of the evening tinkering with the 1970’s Indian Scout motorcycle Toni had bought a few weeks back. Dave had been thankful to get out of the photo album. They came inside just in time for Shelby to press play on the engagement video. Toni’s eyes widened, she should have made sure the coast was clear before bringing Dave back in, but it was too late now. “We can go back out,” Toni muttered. She looked up at Dave. His eyes were watering._

_He shook his head no and cleared his throat. “Can you get them to start it over?”_

_Toni smiled, she nodded. “Of course.” She nodded towards the living room and led him in patting the couch in between her and Shelby for him to sit. “Want to start it over before we get to the good part?”_

_Shelby smiled the happiest smile Toni had ever seen as she rewound the video, sitting on their ridiculously oversized couch with her parents and her fiancee. Toni quickly untied her boots and tucked her legs up under herself. She never thought Shelby’s parents would see her propose, she was suddenly very nervous._

_The video started with Toni’s face setting up her phone to sneakily record it, making sure it was all framed. They had gone camping late November and were snuggled up by the campfire. Toni had made the excuse of needing to go grab the marshmallows for s'mores so that she could set her phone up. She wanted it to be a surprise so when she sat back down they actually roasted marshmallows. Which for Toni meant, she had a tiny marshmallow torch for a bit. Shelby laughed at her as she blew the flames out._

_“You always burn them.” Shelby giggled, carefully keeping her marshmallow high enough to toast._

_Toni laughed, “that’s how I like them.”_

_Shelby kissed her, long and slow. Forgetting she was holding her own marshmallow over the fire, laughing out of the kiss when the marshmallow went up in flames. “Dammit. I guess you’ve won yourself a second one.”_

_They ate their s’mores in a happy gooey silence, giggling at each other as they both got covered in marshmallow guts and chocolate. “Hey, love?” Toni said, wiping her hands on her jeans._

_“Yeah, Sweetie?” Shelby asked, giving Toni her full attention. Something in her voice was serious._

_Toni took a deep breath and turned to face her. She cleared her throat, trying to remember all of the words she had practiced for a month. “From the moment I met you, you drove me crazy.”_

_Shelby frowned, confused as to what Toni was doing. “Okay?”_

_Toni grinned, continuing “at first, I’ll admit, the crazy was the kind where I wanted to throw you off a cliff.”_

_Shelby giggled, “that’s fair.”_

_“But in two weeks, I knew it was the kind of crazy where I never wanted to spend another day in my life without you.”_

_Shelby’s eyes widened, “Toni?_

_Toni smiled, “let me finish?” She pressed a chaste kiss to Shelby's lips._

_Shelby nodded, her eyes watering._

_Toni cleared her throat, “I’ve never had a family. I’ve bounced from location to location to island.” She chuckled, “and then I found you. And then I learned what a home was--that it wasn’t a place, it was you. And I learned that it was okay to have dreams and goals, and how to love unconditionally. I learned that I matter. And that I am good enough. And I learned that together, we can do anything and go anywhere. Most importantly, I learned I want to do this with you, forever.”_

_Toni got up from her seat on the ground to one knee, she pulled a little box out of her pocket. She wiped tears from her eyes, “I wanted to ask you this on this camping trip, because it felt most like how I fell in love with you. Out in the open, in the quiet of nature, on the ground under a tree. Shelby Faith Goodkind, will you marry me?”_

_Happy tears streamed down Shelby’s face. “Yes!” She yelled, practically tackling Toni. They laid on the ground laughing looking up at the stars. In the bottom of the video you could see Toni slip the ring on Shelby’s finger. “Love, this is beautiful. Holy wow.” Shelby admired her ring._

_“Yeah? I did okay?”_

_“Love this is perfect.” Shelby laughed, pulling Toni in for another kiss._

_“I’m going to go stop the recording.” Toni giggled, pulling away for a second._

_Shelby grinned, “you filmed this?”_

_Toni nodded, “yeah, I thought the girls might want to see it.”_

_“You’re amazing.” Shelby said, her eyes filled with love._

_Toni got up and cut the recording._

_Toni eyed the room nervously. Very aware of how intimate that video was, watching it again with Shelby’s parents. Shelby was happy crying again, like she did every time she watched the video. Toni was relieved to see that Jobeth was right there with her. Toni produced a box of tissues from the little table behind the couch, holding them out to the girls._

_Dave stood up and started pacing. Shelby and Jobeth watched him nervously. Toni watched them more than she watched him, hoping this wasn’t the straw that ruined the whole thing. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, finally._

_Shelby swallowed nervously, “for what, daddy?” Her voice almost broke._

_“For keeping us out of your life for this long.” Dave looked nauseous. “For missing all of this.” He gestured around the house. Jobeth audibly sighed in relief. Dave stood there, awkwardly, not knowing where to go from there, just needing to have said it out-loud to everyone._

_“It’s okay, dad. You’re here now.” Shelby said, her voice small._

_Jobeth smiled proudly at him._

_Toni bit her lip, her eyes drifting from Shelby’s to Dave’s. “Hey, um Dave. Can I go ask you something really quickly?”_

_Dave nodded, thankful to have somewhere to go from there, and followed Toni into the master bedroom. He looked around the room, never having seen it before. “Was that too much?” He asked, looking nervous._

_Toni shook her head no. “No, sir. I realized as we were watching that video that I didn’t exactly ask you for permission.” She rocked nervously on her feet. “I’m not exactly a traditional person.” She clenched her jaw, “I don’t really believe in asking for permission.” She chuckled, “Well, this is going well. Ummm.. I guess, your blessing? Like, knowing you approve of the union would mean a lot to me.” Toni frowned, wishing she had prepared for this moment. She just hadn’t expected Dave to really even talk to her and now he was publicly apologizing for being an asshole for the past few years._

_A tear fell down Dave’s cheek, he wiped it away, embarrassed. He looked around the room. It was filled with photos and moments of his daughter's life that he had missed that had looked wonderful. He picked up a frame of Toni and Shelby kissing in front of the eiffel tower. He looked back to Toni, a woman he barely knew who had given his daughter the world and he had been too blind to see it. He set the photo back down on the dresser. “Yes. I approve.” He pulled Toni into an awkward hug._

_They both wiped their eyes. “I’m sure, they’re both thoroughly confused and concerned.” Toni said with a laugh._

_Dave chuckled, too. “Let ‘em wonder.” He led the way back into the living room. Shelby and Jobeth eyed them suspiciously, both noting that they seemed to have cried. Dave motioned for Shelby to scoot over so he could sit next to Jobeth._

_“You good?” Shelby whispered, curling into Toni’s side when Toni sat down on the couch next to her, throwing her arm around Shelby’s shoulders._

_“I’m great, actually.” Toni said with a huge smile._

They relaxed on the bank of the little watering hole, drying in the sun. Toni sat up, looking over Shelby’s wound, checking the stitches for the thousandth time. 

“What do you think?” Shelby asked without sitting up. 

“I think that’s going to be one badass scar.” 

Shelby looked up into Toni’s eyes. She had spent her whole life trying to be perfect. A few weeks ago, her only thought about her leg would have been the swimsuit portion of her beauty pageants. Toni touched her shin gently, leaning down to kiss near the wound. “You still love me? Missing teeth, nasty shins and all.” 

Toni laughed, “Yeah, Shelby. Missing teeth, nasty shins and all. I’m yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all tell me if the second flash forward complicates things. I just want to show hundreds of happy moments between them lol. There are so many they deserve. But, if this was weird to follow, let me know! 
> 
> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> Hope everyone had a less stressful week than me. (Work kicked my ass).  
> Em


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... here's a thing I wrote. Sorry it took me a few days to get this out. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Toni set Shelby down carefully back at the campsite, on one of the big logs of driftwood. “You hungry?” She asked.

Shelby nodded and Toni headed over to their quickly dwindling supply of rations. They were going to need to send another group out to find real sustenance soon. She grabbed a handful of the lychees and took them back to Shelby, kissing her on the forehead. 

“Hey, babe. I’m going to go talk to Dot real quick, see what they figured out about moving camp. You good?” Toni eyed her leg, her ankle was still pretty swollen and the gash still looked pretty wicked. She tried not to dwell on it. 

Shelby grinned at her, her eyes flashing to Toni’s lips. “Can I have a kiss first?” She asked, her voice flirty. 

Toni chuckled, caught off guard. “As many as you want.” Toni said kissing Shelby sweetly. 

Fatin whooped loudly. Toni held her middle finger up, but didn’t stop peppering Shelby’s lips with kisses. “Now you’re just trying to make us all jealous.” Fatin said as she sat down on the log next to Shelby. 

Toni huffed at her in annoyance. 

Fatin waved her hand at Toni, shooing her away, “go. Do whatever it is you were going to go do. I’ll watch your girlfriend. Make sure she doesn’t try to run away.” 

Toni bit her lip, appreciating the fact that Fatin was going to stay and get Shelby anything if she needed it, “thanks, dude.” She kissed Shelby one last time before heading towards where Dot was standing down on the shoreline with the feet in the water. 

“You, two seem domestic.” Fatin said, raising her eyebrows suggestively at Shelby. 

Shelby laughed and shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. It just feels right, you know?” 

Fatin laughed, “took you long enough. Jesus.” 

Shelby frowned, “wait, when did you know I had a thing for her? I know you called the sexual tension, but we had already had sex then. When did you figure it out?” 

Fatin shrugged, “I don’t know. Like, day eight or so. I was pretty sure you were either going to fuck each other or kill each other. Then we got food poisoning a few days after that, and when you saved her life and then kept sitting on her, I figured it was going to be first rather than the latter.” 

Shelby rolled her eyes, thinking back to how Toni would have rather died than let Shelby help her. “I guess my well kept secret wasn’t that well kept.” 

Fatin smiled, “I mean, you seem to be way happier as a person. That’s probably all the orgasms though.” Fatin shrugged. 

Shelby laughed, she couldn’t hold it back. “Yeah, those help.” 

Fatin gasped, “Shelby Goodkind, did you just make a sex joke?” 

Shelby bit her bottom lip, “maybe.” 

Nora joined them on the log, “Toni is calmer now.” Her tone was observational. 

Fatin laughed, “yeah, it’s all the orgasms they’ve been having.” 

Shelby blushed. 

“That makes sense,” Nora said, “All the oxytocin being released.” 

Fatin looked at Nora, “What?” 

“When you orgasm your brain releases oxytocin, you feel all warm and fuzzy and happy and that lingers. So you orgasm a lot and your brain produces enough oxytocin and you stay blissed out all day. It also creates and strengthens bonds with people. So the more you fuck someone the more attached you get to them.” 

Fatin shrugged, “I don’t know that I agree with that last bit, but I definitely agree with the first.” She looked over at Shelby who was watching Toni as she talked to Dot. “Shelby agrees with the last bit, though.” Fatin said with a laugh. 

Shelby blushed again. 

Fatin continued, “Fuck, man. How much sex have you two had on this island? I’m so jealous.” 

Shelby giggled, “a lot.” 

Fatin groaned. “Are you going to keep boning her if we get off the island?” 

Shelby nodded, “absolutely.” 

_Shelby knocked on Toni’s bedroom door. She always tried to be respectful of Toni’s space. Toni had happily let Shelby decorate the apartment however she wanted. She’d help Shelby hang photos up on the walls, rearrange the furniture when Shelby wanted to see what the couch looked like on the other side of the room without complaint, and in return, Shelby did the same for Toni and her room. Toni had painted the walls a deep blue and had put about a million rugs on the floor, overlapping to completely cover the hardwood. The room felt very much like Toni, a massive squishy bed, a few plants that Toni was obsessed with, a few photos of the two of them and an old movie poster she had found and framed. She kept her room mostly clean, and always had music playing from a speaker at a low volume._

_Toni looked up from the book she was reading. “Hey, love.” Toni smiled at her, setting the book aside. “I didn’t even hear you come in the front door.” Toni held her arms out so Shelby would come curl up in bed with her._

_Shelby smiled and pulled her jacket off before climbing in bed. “Did you have a good day?”_

_Toni grinned, “I did. I learned a lot today. It’s been a great first week. How about you? You went shopping today for school stuff, yeah?”_

_Shelby nodded, biting her bottom lip._

_Toni eyed her suspiciously, “What’s up, Goodkind?”_

_Shelby blushed, “I did go shopping for school stuff. Got all my books and a new backpack, and a few new outfits.”_

_“Why does it feel like there’s more to what you’re saying?”_

_Shelby ducked her head, “I did some other shopping, too. But I probably should have asked you first or checked with you first.”_

_Toni frowned, confused. “I don’t care what kind of shopping you do, love. Are you trying to tell me you got something massive and need help carrying it up the stairs?”_

_Shelby shook her head no. “I might have gotten…”_

_“Babe, you’re starting to worry me.”_

_Shelby buried her face in Toni’s neck, wrapping her arms around her, “I might have gotten sexy lingerie and some sex toys.” She kept her grip tight around Toni, not wanting to see her face, nervous about her reaction. They didn’t need any help in the sex department. They had amazing sex all the time. They had only been living with each other for a few weeks and had had sex multiple times every day, but when they had been apart, Shelby had explored tumblr and had seen some things that she had wanted to try. She realized after leaving the adult store that she probably should have checked with Toni before buying a ridiculous amount of things that had interested her._

_She heard Toni swallow, her voice instantly lower, “what umm… what kind of sex toys?” Toni pulled back, trying to get Shelby to look at her._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, her eyes trying to read Toni’s expression. “So, back when I was at home, I saw something and I really wanted to try it with you. And then I saw some other stuff and then when I was at the store, I saw some more stuff. I really should have talked to you first.”_

_Toni could feel the blush creeping up her neck. The thought of Shelby in a sex store thinking about trying things with her, sent a wave of desire straight through her core. Her eyes flashed to Shelby’s lips. “No, I’m…” Toni searched for the right words, “I’m really cool with this. What… uhh… What did you get? Can I see it?”_

_Shelby blushed even deeper. “I kind of got a lot of stuff.” She chuckled nervously._

_Toni nodded, “okay. Um, do I get to see what all you bought? Or?”_

_“You’re not mad?”_

_“Why in the fuck would I be mad?” Toni laughed, “Hell, I’m excited. Nervous--definitely. New territory, for sure. But definitely, primarily, excited.”_

_Shelby breathed a sigh of relief. She kissed Toni’s cheek. “Wait right here.”_

“So who catches and who pitches?” Fatin asked. 

“Christ. If I could walk away from you I would. Is this why you volunteered to baby sit me?” Shelby asked, completely avoiding the question. 

“Definitely.” Fatin said, without missing a beat. “Please? I’m living vicariously here.” 

Shelby just shook her head no. “Nope. You’re not going to get anything out of me.” 

“Fine, I’ll try to crack your girlfriend. She’s easier to approach these days.” 

Shelby laughed at the thought of Fatin trying to get sexual information out of Toni, imagining the look of horror and confusion on Toni's face. 

“Is she officially your girlfriend?” Nora asked. 

Shelby grinned, hoping Toni wouldn’t mind her sharing this bit. “Yep.” 

Fatin threw an arm around her shoulders, squealing with happiness, “that’s so fucking cute, dude. I’m so happy for you. Who asked who?” 

Shelby laughed, “she asked me.” 

Toni and Dot started walking over towards the group, still in deep conversation. Toni smiled at Shelby when they made eye contact. 

“Do you want to sit next to your girlfriend?” Fatin asked, emphasizing the world girlfriend. 

Toni chuckled, “I take it you told them we’re official.” 

Shelby bit her lip and nodded. 

“Cool.” Toni said, giving Shelby a quick kiss. “Nah, Fatin. I find the sand more comfortable.” Toni said sitting down in front of Shelby, leaning back on the log between her legs, careful not to disturb her ankle or shin. 

Dot gathered the rest of the girls around, “Okay, so Toni and I were talking and we agree, we need to find some more food. More importantly, we need to build another shelter.” 

Rachel tensed, but nodded in agreement. 

“I think we should start to work on the shelters before we make the move.” Dot said. “Stay with what we know until we have some sort of structures in place. Toni offered to be part of the building team. Does anyone want to help her?” 

Fatin shot Shelby a look, “I do.” 

Shelby rolled her eyes, knowing Fatin was going to try and get Toni to tell her intimate details of their sex life. “I’ll go be a cheerleader.” She said, shooting Fatin a look back. 

“I’ll help.” Martha said. 

“Cool.” Dot said, “that should be a good place to start and the rest of us can split up to do the rest of our chores. Shelby, I hate to be a bitch, but you should probably be on fire duty.” 

Toni tensed, she didn’t like the idea of everyone leaving Shelby alone. What if she needed something or had to use the restroom. Her eyes shot to Dot’s filled with rage. Shelby’s fingers immediately started running through Toni’s hair. 

“Don’t worry Toni, we’ll make sure we don’t leave her alone for too long. We’ll stagger the chores so that someone is here or within yelling distance.” 

Toni didn’t relax, her hands gripped the sand. She knew what Dot was saying made sense. And she knew that Shelby didn’t want to not be helpful, but she hated the idea of leaving her every morning. 

“It’s okay, love.” Shelby said softly, “Dot’s right. It’s a good idea. There’s too much to do here and there for me to not be useful.” 

Toni nodded, but didn’t say anything. She knew that Shelby would be fine, she just hated that she wasn’t going to be there constantly to help endure it. Shelby scratched the back of Toni’s head, knowing that the second she got Toni alone she was going to thank her for being so protective of her. 

_Toni had fallen asleep on the couch, comfortably listening to the sounds of Shelby and her parents chatting happily. Her parents had been there for a few days at this point and everyone had grown more comfortable with Toni and Shelby existing as they always did. Shelby stayed tucked into her side, chuckling when Toni started snoring softly._

_“So, when is the wedding?” Jobeth asked._

_Shelby blushed, “we haven’t picked a date yet. We haven’t decided where we want to do it.”_

_Jobeth nodded, “have you started looking at venues?”_

_Shelby’s eyes watered. She was overwhelmed with the fact that her parents were here. That her mom was asking these questions. It was like something out of a dream. Something she had always hoped would happen and it had come true. She cleared her throat, “yeah, we’ve got a few places that we like, it just kind of depends on how big of thing we want to do.”_

_Dave frowned, “I know that Toni isn’t super into religion, but are you going to have it at a church?”_

_Shelby’s eyes widened, “probably not, but I’ve talked to my pastor about officiating and he’s more than happy to. I’ve offered to fly him and his wife to wherever we end up getting married. So, no, but it will still be officiated and blessed and Toni is okay with that. We talked about what she was comfortable including and what she wasn’t.”_

_Dave eyed Toni, smiling softly, “I really like her.”_

_Shelby smiled, melting into Toni a little more. “Me, too.” Toni mumbled incoherently at the additional contact, her arms tightening around Shelby._

_“This is normal.” Shelby laughed, “you’re seeing our typical evening. She passes out, because she wakes up so early for work, and I stay up and read depositions and work on cases.” Shelby ran her fingers through Toni’s hair, looking at the sleeping face of her beautiful fiancee. “Do y’all want to come? To the wedding?”_

_Jobeth looked back at Dave, he nodded. “Yes, baby.” She said, smiling. “We’ll be there.”_

_Tears fell down Shelby’s cheeks, relief flooding through her. “I should probably get this one to bed.” She said as Toni tugged her tighter._

Shelby sat and watched the fire flicker, wondering if Toni was getting anywhere on the shelter front with just Martha and Fatin to help her. She wondered if they would end up pissing Toni off and if Toni would end up snapping at them. She had been so tense that morning when the three of them had left. She had hugged Shelby so tightly and kissed her so deeply, not caring if the rest of the girls saw. She wondered if it would always be like that. If Toni would always kiss her goodbye in the mornings, trying to fill their kisses with every ounce of love she possessed. 

_Shelby carried a huge black bag into Toni’s bedroom, setting it down at the foot of the bed. Toni eyed the bag, her eyes widening at it’s size. Shelby started pacing next to Toni’s bed. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You know that, right?” Shelby’s green eyes flashed to Toni’s._

_Toni nodded, licking her lips, reaching down to pull the bag up so she could see inside it. Shelby was practically bouncing, she was so nervous. Toni held the bag open wide looking down inside it. Her eyes flashed up to Shelby, an eyebrow raised, her mouth having fallen open in surprise._

_Shelby covered her face with her hands, “please say something?”_

_Toni cleared her throat. “Can we start with this?” Toni asked, pulling a box out with a picture of a leather harness out of the bag._

_Shelby looked at Toni through the gaps of her fingers. She nodded, biting her bottom lip. “I got options. You know— for— ummm… what we try in it.”_

_Toni looked back in the bag, chuckling at the various dildos Shelby had purchased in all different sizes and colors. “Well,” she said finally, “which one did you want?”_

_Shelby shook her head, no._

_Toni’s eyes widened, realizing then that Shelby wanted to use the strap on, on her. Toni cleared her throat, she handed Shelby the harness and dug through the bag, reading all the boxes for dimensions, finding one of the smaller options. She handed it to Shelby as well. Toni kept digging through the bag, finding things like fuzzy handcuffs and a vibrator, and a few things Toni wasn’t even sure what they were for, she found lube and got it out as well. Given how wet she already was, she didn’t think it would be necessary, but she had never done anything like this and wanted it accessible, just in case._

_“I’m just gonna go unbox everything and ummm… wash this,” she held up the purple dildo box, “and put this on.” She held up the other box containing the harness itself._

_Toni nodded, setting the big black bag down on the floor next to the bed._

_“You sure you’re okay with this?” Shelby asked, nervous._

_Toni bit her bottom lip. “Yeah, I’ve…” Toni chuckled, “I’ve thought about trying this stuff before, I just didn’t want to, i don’t know, scare you. Or make you uncomfortable. I actually have a vibrator.”_

_Shelby’s eyes widened, “what the fuck? How did I now know that?”_

_Toni laughed, “I don’t know, it came in handy when we were apart.”_

_“Did you think of me when you used it?”_

_“Every time.” Toni said._

_“Can I see it now?”_

_Toni laughed and nodded. She got out of bed and dug through a box on the top shelf of her closet, producing a small pink vibrator._

_Shelby blushed, “I’ve never used one.”_

_Toni wrapped her arms around Shelby’s waist, pulling her in for a kiss. “Do you want to?”_

_Shelby nodded, “but I want to fuck you first.”_

_Toni’s eyes dropped to Shelby’s lips, “okay,” her voice was a breathy whisper._

_“I’m going to go get ready.” Shelby said._

_Toni just nodded, “I guess I’ll get naked?”_

_Shelby crossed the hall into the bathroom next to Toni’s room. Toni could feel her heart pounding as she pulled her clothes off. She pulled her blackout curtains closed and turned her little cactus lamp on, so the room would be darker, but light enough that they could still see what they were doing. She crawled back into bed and waited impatiently._

_Shelby peeked around the doorframe, smiling when she saw a very naked Toni sitting up in her bed. Toni grinned at her, and sat up higher. Shelby blushed, nervously before stepping out from behind the wall. Toni’s eyes widened, taking in the view of Shelby completely naked save for the strapon. “Still doing okay?” Shelby asked._

_Toni just nodded, her heart was pounding._

_“Talk to me, sweetie?” Shelby asked, “I can’t tell what you’re thinking.”_

_Toni blushed, a smile crossing her lips. “I think I’m excited and nervous and I think you look really fucking hot.”_

_Shelby laughed, sitting down on the bed next to Toni. “Thanks, love.”_

_Toni pulled her into a kiss, her tongue slipping into Shelby’s mouth. Shelby rolled over onto her, both of them simultaneously scooting down on the bed. Toni gasped when the dildo hit her inner thigh._

_Shelby giggled, “sorry, I don’t really know how to account for that.”_

_Toni smiled, looking up into Shelby’s brilliant green eyes. “It’s okay.” Toni bit her bottom lip, “how did you imagine this to go?”_

_Shelby looked down in between them, marveling at the feeling of their bodies being pressed against each other. Even though they had been reunited for a few weeks now, she was never going to get enough of this. “I don’t really know what you mean?”_

_Toni’s eyes flashed to Shelby’s lips. She could feel her face heating up, her voice was low and jagged, her breathing already off kilter, “how did you want to fuck me, Shelby?”_

_A hunger flashed through Shelby’s eyes like lightning. “Well, for right now, I thought we’d start with the basics.”_

_Toni nodded, spreading her legs. Shelby lifted her body up for Toni to make it easier, settling herself back down on top of her, reaching down to adjust the strap on so that it wasn’t resting on Toni uncomfortably anywhere. She let her fingers trace through Toni’s folds, wanting to feel just how wet the brunette had gotten for her._

_“I was going to ask if you wanted me to grab the lube.” Shelby teased before sucking her own fingers into her mouth, licking Toni’s juices off her fingers._

_Toni pulled Shelby into a desperate kiss, tasting herself on Shelby’s tongue, arching her body up into Shelby’s. Shelby moved the dildo through Toni’s folds, coating it with her wetness. Toni moaned into her mouth._

_“Are you ready?” Shelby asked, her eyes searching Toni’s._

_“Yes.” Toni was breathless, she spread her legs even farther._

_Shelby leaned back, spreading Toni’s lower lips, gently inserting the tip of the dildo into her. Watching her eyes for any signs of discomfort. “Good?”_

_“More?” Toni whispered._

_Shelby smiled, rocking her hips forward slowly, sinking the dildo into Toni. Toni’s moan filled the room. Shelby’s hands slid up Toni’s body, lowering herself back down so their bodies were flush against each other. Toni’s hands drifted over Shelby’s back, she lifted her hips up into Shelby, who ground down to meet her. They rocked together, finding a rhythm in each other. Toni’s mouth found Shelby’s, kissing her deeply, moaning into each kiss, only breaking to find air._

_Shelby’s hands raked over Toni’s body, leaving goose bumps in their wake. “Babe, I’m close.” Toni said, her voice shaky._

_“Let go, love, I’ve got you.” Shelby said, kissing down Toni’s neck, holding her tightly as her body shook beneath her._

Toni, Martha, and Fatin finally came into view. A smile crossing Toni’s lips the second her eyes saw Shelby. She waved, ignoring Fatin’s teasing. Shelby looked beautiful on the beach at sunset. 

“Hey, Love.” Shelby said when Toni sat down next to her on the ground, leaned up against the driftwood log. Shelby had on Toni’s blue sweater and looked quite cozy by the campfire. Toni kissed her cheek. “How’d it go?” 

Toni nodded, “it went well actually. We got a plan together and started gathering wood to make it happen. I think we should be able to move up there after a week or so.” 

Shelby smiled at her, proud of her. “That’s awesome, sweetie.” 

“I’m pretty pumped. We’re going to start constructing tomorrow.” Toni grinned excitedly. “We’re going to make, like, a few different shelters so everyone has a little bit more… privacy.” 

Shelby’s eyes flashed up to Toni’s, “what are you saying?” 

Toni blushed, “want to move into a lean-to with me?” She raised her eyebrows seductively. 

Shelby laughed and pulled her in for a kiss, “I fucking love you, Toni Shalifoe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?? Got a little rowdy in this one lol. Thoughts?
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Wishing you all a great week,  
> Em


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to parad0x1n for this idea for the flash forward in this one. 
> 
> This one gets a bit heavier than I usually do. 
> 
> With that, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Thanks for reading,   
> Em

Five days later and the girls were ready to move to the new camp. Toni, Fatin, and Martha had managed to build four different lean-tos. They were all surprisingly stable, having used Toni’s idea of the surrounding trees as support. They all also opened up to the fire, which would hopefully provide extra heat at night. Marty had politely--for Toni’s sake-- asked Dot to share a lean-to so that Shelby and Toni could share. Dot was happy to oblige, as long as Martha brought Marcus. They were finally ready to make their move.

The swelling in Shelby’s ankle had gone down tremendously, but she was still wobbly on it. There was no way she'd be able to make the mile hike into the woods, and if she was being honest, she was growing really fond of Toni giving her piggy-back rides everywhere she wanted to go. It was clear to everyone that Toni was also fond of them. So, it was no surprise that as they all packed up, Toni pulled Shelby up on her back. Toni walked with Shelby in the back of the group, not wanting to slow anyone down. And as she was one of the most familiar with the path to get there, it didn't matter if they got left behind. She was in no rush, picking her way through the woods carefully as Shelby hung on tightly to her. 

Martha dropped back so that she could chat with them as they walked, realizing as she went that Toni was too out of breath to hold a conversation. She was more than happy to talk with Shelby though. She carried Marcus awkwardly under her arm as she walked. 

“When we get out of here, we need a spa day.” Shelby said happily. 

Martha grinned, “I’ve never been to a spa.” 

“What?” Shelby said shocked, “you’ve never had a massage? Facial? Steam room?” 

Martha shook her head, the look in her eyes made it clear that she was slightly embarrassed by yet another thing she had never done. 

Toni chuckled, “don’t worry Marty, I’ve never even gotten my nails done.” 

“Are you kidding?” Shelby asked leaning down over Toni’s shoulder trying to get a better look at her. Toni let out a laugh, shaking her head. “I have no money, babe.” The words were serious, but her voice was still light and playful. She wasn't mad at Shelby's ignorance to just how poor she truly was, she wasn't rubbing it in. Just stating a fact. 

Shelby flinched, she should have guessed. It was just another thing that she hadn’t thought about for Toni. All of Shelby’s pre-pageant rituals, nails, facials, massages, that was just as foreign to her girlfriend as the pageants themselves. Shelby tightened her grip around Toni trying to squeeze more love into her. Toni tilted her head down to kiss Shelby’s forearm. Hoping that the girl on her back, knew that she was okay, wishing Marty weren’t there at the moment so she could say something flirty about Shelby giving her a massage later so she could know what it was like. 

“What else do you want to do when we get out of here?” Marty asked, changing the subject. 

Shelby thought for a minute. She had lots of ideas of things she wanted to do with or to Toni, but none of those were appropriate responses for Toni’s best friend. Shelby let out a giggle. She had it bad for Toni. She couldn’t think of a single thing that didn’t include her. “As lame as it sounds. I just want to drink ice water in some air conditioning and listen to music.” 

Martha laughed, “that sounds wonderful actually.” 

“What about you?” Shelby asked. 

Martha frowned, looking like this was something she had put a lot of thought into. “I want to dance again.” 

“Fuck yeah, dude.” Toni said, out of breath. “Proud of you.” 

The depth of the decision was lost on Shelby, but she smiled happily for Marty and kissed Toni on the cheek. Something felt so right about them letting her be a part of this conversation, one that seemed private somehow. “What about you, love?” Shelby asked, knowing damn well Toni was out of breath, but also knowing she thought Toni panting, out of breath and trying speak was hot, no matter the reason. 

Toni took a deep breath, “ace Stats. Keep a job. Try to fly down to see you.” 

Shelby’s mouth went dry at the thought. “Would you really?” her voice was barely over a whisper. 

Toni nodded. “Yeah.” She threw a glance at Marty, “you’re coming, too Martha. Gotta get your own room though.” 

Martha and Shelby both laughed full laughs before flying into trip planning mode, while Toni just smiled and carried Shelby the rest of the way to the new camp. When they got there, Martha left them to go to her new lean-to with Dot and Marcus. 

Toni gently set Shelby down outside of one the small structures, making sure she had balance on her one good ankle before pulling the little cloth door flap back to reveal the interior of their lean-to. Toni held her hand out to help support Shelby and she ducked inside carefully, wanting to explore. 

Toni followed her in, closing their little fabric door behind her, sitting across the small space, smiling softly as Shelby took it in. Toni had tried her very best to be romantic. Romance wasn’t her strong suit, but when it came to Shelby, she wanted to give her the world. She had picked fresh flowers the day before and had them bunched together like a bouquet in the corner. She had also made cross for Shelby out of two beautiful sticks she had found and one well wrapped hair tie. She had attached it to the wall on what she knew would be Shelby’s side. Religions weren’t Toni’s thing. She had made that abundantly clear, but she knew how much Shelby’s meant to her. More importantly, Toni knew how much she had been struggling, fighting with herself over her relationship with Toni. Toni hoped it was a nice gesture and not something that would trigger her. 

Shelby touched the cross, gently. Her eyes flashing to Toni’s, her emerald green watering and watching Toni’s fill with concern. “Fuck.” Toni whispered, reaching over her trying to pull it down. 

Shelby caught her arm and tugged, pulling Toni into a blistering kiss. Toni felt tears on Shelby’s face and she pulled back, wiping them gently away with her thumbs, her eyes searching Shelby’s for a clue as to what she was thinking. 

“How are you this thoughtful?” Shelby whispered, tears were still streaming down her face. 

Toni scooted over, pulling Shelby up into her lap. She shrugged, her light brown eyes still filled with concern. “I just want to love you right.” 

Shelby pressed her lips to Toni’s forehead. “You’re killing it.” 

Toni let a breath she didn’t know she was holding with a laugh. 

“Who knew you were so soft, Shalifoe.” Shelby teased, tucking some of Toni’s loose hair back behind her ears. 

“Don’t tell anyone.” Toni said back playfully. 

_Toni woke with a start, her arms tightening around Shelby reflexively, trying to keep the other woman safe. Shelby hummed into Toni’s chest. Her hand snaked under the hem of Toni’s shirt. It had been a long time since Toni had had such a vivid nightmare. She had had two since Shelby’s parents had arrived. She knew part of it was the stress of them being there. She wondered what other little things had triggered them. The fact that she hadn’t gotten off in over forty hours, the fact that she was having to sleep in clothes, or any of their other little normalities that had been adjusted for the few days Shelby’s parents were going to be there._

_Toni kissed Shelby’s forehead and tried to ease her own breathing, trying to push her mind to think about anything other than the dream she had just had. It was the same dream it always was, concrete walls, the feeling of being watched, the fear of not knowing where Shelby was, the rage of not knowing if Shelby was okay or scared, of not knowing how her leg was healing, of not knowing if she was eating enough or sleeping enough, the not being able to hold her. Toni had almost enjoyed the island, but that damn facility had triggered something in Toni that she had yet to shake. Her therapist was trying to help her get Bosco registered as a therapy dog so she could take him out with her in public. Toni got more than a little antsy when she noticed security cameras places, particularly if Shelby was with her._

_She had that same uneasy feeling tonight. That feeling of being watched. She sighed, her hand reaching for Bosco’s head, giving him a few extra scratches behind his floppy ears. She knew she wasn’t going to relax any time soon and if she continued to lay there, she'd stress herself into a panic attack. She looked at the clock, it read 4:05. She grumbled, but slid out from under Shelby, trying to disturb her as little as possible. She changed into her torn up jeans and a sports bra, tugging an old muscle shirt on, slipping out of their bedroom as quietly as she could._

_They had developed a code for when Toni was having one of her nights. They were common the first fews years after the facility, but that had subsided over the past two. But when they did happen, Toni would leave the living room light on and head out into the garage to work on one of her little projects. Tonight was no different. She poured herself a glass of ice water before heading out into her garage. She uncovered the little bobber she was rebuilding. She grabbed her socket set and started to remove the gas tank. The next thing on her to do list was to get it painted a flat black. She usually saved the cosmetic stuff until last, but she was waiting on a part to come in, so spray painting it would have to be._

_Just as she pulled the tank off, Dave walked into the garage. Toni blushed, embarrassed and worried that she had woken him up, not having a clue what time it was. “Shit--did I wake you up?”_

_Dave shook his head, “nah, I wake up early every morning. I’ve been trying to do the sleep in thing and I’m just not good about it.” He eyed Toni, “you always get up at four?”_

_Toni set the tank down on a tarp and shook her head, no. “I get really bad nightmares sometimes. From the whole thing. My therapist gave me some really great exercises I can do, but if it’s like four or on, I usually just get up.” Toni tried to wave it off, not wanting Dave to think less of her._

_Dave nodded, gritting his teeth. He ran his hand through his sandy blonde hair. Toni could see the resemblances between him and Shelby. Noticing those similarities was cool, it made her feel closer to him. “I don’t really know much about what y’all went through, if I’m being real honest with you.” The fact that he didn’t know clearly stressed him,_

_Toni just nodded, all to familiar with how Dave had behaved when they had made it back. How he had treated Shelby that whole first year while she graduated high school. She chose to push down any previous feelings she might have had towards him and instead, she pointed at the tank, “want to do some painting?”_

_He nodded and crossed the garage to where she was setting up. She handed him a pair of rubber gloves and safety glasses. Dave pointed at Toni’s arm, the tattooed sleeve entirely visible in her old muscle shirt. Toni’s face went flush. He just chuckled, “you’re fine. You’re having a rough night. I won’t give you heck.”_

_“But if I weren’t having a rough night?” Toni joked handing him the spray paint._

_Dave coughed back a laugh, “Oh, I’d definitely say something, try to stress you out for sure.”_

_Toni nodded, chuckling with him. “That’s fair.”_

_Dave started to spray the gas tank, “I’ve never spray painted anything important before.” He admitted._

_Toni chuckled, “Oh, don’t worry, Dave. I'm fully prepared to redo it.”_

_Dave laughed again, before clearing his throat, “you want to talk about it?” He paused, “lord knows I’ve unloaded enough on you these past few days.”_

_Toni frowned, unsure of what he already knew. Not sure if there was anything Shelby didn’t want him to know. She started by choosing her words very carefully. “So the island wasn’t so bad, you know? Kind of like a hellacious camping trip that we were wildly unprepared for, but man that facility, learning that we had been watched the whole time. Being stuck away from Shelby and the others for so long after we had depended on each other so heavily for survival. It was fucking trip, man.” She swallowed nervously, not wanting to overshare, “and the worst bit, the worst bit was not knowing what they had seen. Like, I still have no idea what was documented or studied. And there’s so much that they’re still reviewing. Like I know our case is over, but that footage still exists. That footage of me… of Shelby.” Toni shook her head, horrified. “We were kids, man.” Her voice was hoarse._

_Dave had stopped spraying long ago, his eyes searching Toni’s. He could feel his own rage as a father rising. He had never really put that together. He had never listened to Shelby enough to absorb what she was saying. He had just been so mad. He remembered how Shelby was clinging to Toni in the airport when they were finally able to pick them up. How she had shaved her head. How livid he had been when Shelby had kissed Toni goodbye. How he had pulled her away in front of all those cameras, his anger completely out of hand. The tears he had caused and he didn’t even know what had happened. It had all been about him. Dave felt nauseous and it wasn’t from the spray paint in the enclosed garage._

_“You good?” Toni asked, noticing how pale Dave had gotten. “I should have turned my little vent on. Sorry, Dave.”_

_He caught her arm gently, not letting her go turn the vent on. “They have footage of you, two?” He asked finally, his voice clearly in shock._

_Toni blushed, not really wanting to go into details of what all they had that she knew of for sure and what all they might have footage of. Dave hadn’t gone to the trials at all. Jobeth hadn’t either. All the girls testimonies and cases had been handled separately, she knew that she and Shelby had received a significant added settlement because of the nature of the material of footage found of the two of them. Some of it had been played during her trial to illustrate just how invasive it really was. She shuddered at the thought. “You know the sickest thing, to me?” Toni asked with a dazed laugh. Dave just looked at her, his eyes watering._

_“The fucking notes on the little recorder they were making about us. God, I heard the footage of our reunion in that little fucking prison.” Toni’s voice was vicious, “letting us see each other was just another experiment. They put us in this room with no cameras so we could have a moment of privacy or some shit, but they had bugged the room. And there was this tape that they played in the trial, I’d never even heard it before. And their cold, calculated voices, narrating our fucking reactions to each other, ‘ah yes, textbooks response, she’s displaying signs of, did you hear how she said, that? Classic reaction, that’s exactly what we were looking for.’” Toni took a deep breath. “In the meantime, I just wanted to see my girlfriend and make sure she was okay. I wanted to make sure her leg was healing. She had shaved her head. She had gone into anaphylactic shock and I hadn’t even known that’s what the alarms had sounded about. I had panicked about these alarms that had sounded one night, scared out of my mind that they had been about her, and then I found out they really had been.” Toni’s tears streamed down her face. “Fuck.” She wiped her tears away with the collar of her shirt. “Sorry, Dave.”_

_The garage door opened, Shelby peeked in, searching for Toni. Sighing in relief when she saw her. “You didn’t leave the light on.” She said, her voice sounding scared, she hadn’t even noticed her dad._

_Dave cleared his throat. “That’s my fault, baby. I didn’t know it meant something. I turned it out.”_

_Shelby nodded, her eyes still locked on Toni. She could tell that she had been crying. She forced a smile for her dad. “It’s okay, I just wanted to make sure Toni was okay.” Her eyes flashed back to Toni’s. Shelby was trying to keep her own panic down._

_Thankfully, Dave could sense it. He stood, breaking the tension, “How about,” He looked at his watch, it was after five now. “How’s about your mother and I go grab us all a big breakfast. We can go pick it up and bring it back, give you two a minute.”_

_Toni blushed, she had spent so long hating Dave, it was weird how much she found she really liked him, at least who he was now. Shelby nodded, “I’d really appreciate that, dad.”_

_Toni looked visibly relieved. “Let’s send him to Tom’s. I’ll write our orders down for you. Everything is good there. Tell Tom you know us when you get there.”_

_Shelby laughed, “maybe tell him you’re my dad before he says something horribly inappropriate.”_

_Toni laughed at that. Dave smiled at them, knowing this was something they shared, some private memory between the two of them that they were willing to let him witness. Toni wrote down their orders: French Toast, eggs over easy, and bacon for her. Waffles, hash browns, and bacon for Shelby. She also wrote down the address for Tom’s on the little notepad she had pulled out of their junk drawer. She handed the order to Dave. “You want to drive Shelb’s Bronco, my truck, or Miss Kim?”_

_Dave’s eyes widened, “you’d let me drive Miss Kim?”_

_Toni laughed, she pulled a key ring off their hook, “of course. You listened to me cry all morning. You’ve earned it.” She grinned at him, she turned to Shelby, “I’m going to go take a shower.”_

_Shelby nodded, it was obvious how much she wanted to go with her. She forced her attention back to her dad. His eyes watered again, “what’s wrong, daddy?” She asked, her voice soft._

_He looked up at the ceiling, not wanting his tears to fall, “I just had no idea, baby.” He nodded his head after Toni, “go take care of her. She’s the one who’s earned it. I’m going to get your mom and we’ll clear out of here for a bit.” He kissed his daughter on the forehead for the first time in over five years._

_Shelby bit her lip, so many thoughts and words and emotions rushing to the surface, but all of her questions were stifled, when her dad told her to go on and get._

Shelby wiped her tears away, throwing her arms around Toni’s neck, hugging her tightly. Toni kept her arms wrapped around Shelby’s waist, thankful that Shelby had liked the gesture. “Thanks for building us our own shack, babe.” 

Toni smiled, “I channeled all my inner Swiss Family Robinson into this little lean-to.” 

Shelby looked at her blankly. 

“Seriously, how have you never seen half of these movies?” Toni laughed. "I'm beginning to wonder if it would just be easier for you to tell me what you have seen." 

Shelby blushed, she hadn’t been allowed to watch most things, honestly. “If we ever make it out of here, you can properly educate me.” Her voice was flirty. 

Toni’s eyes flashed to Shelby’s lips, she bit back every joke about all the educating she had already done. She really wished in that moment that the lean-to was somehow soundproof. She had started to really love it when Shelby talked about the future. It reassured her that what they had was real, that no matter what Toni was going to have her. And yes, depending on when or if they got rescued, Toni knew they’d spend some time apart, but she trusted Shelby. She had faith in Shelby that this was it. 

“Before we have a movie marathon though, we are getting a couples massage.” Shelby said. 

Toni blushed, “I’d rather us just give each other massages.” 

Shelby grinned, “with smelly good oils and lotions?” 

“Did you just say ‘smelly good?’” Toni laughed. 

Shelby blushed and giggled, “yes, yes I did and you knew exactly what I meant.” 

Toni kissed her, “it does sound nice. I mean, I don’t think we have to wait until we get home for it either.” She raised her eyebrows suggestively. 

Shelby laughed, eyeing her leg, trying to figure out how she could properly give Toni a massage. 

Toni pressed another kiss to her lips, “I’ll just sit in front of you, Love.” She grinned, “it doesn’t have to be a whole thing.” 

Shelby traced Toni’s jaw line and down her neck with her fingertip, grinning at how the simple contact made Toni’s face and chest heat up. “God, I am just crazy about you.” 

Toni grinned and kissed Shelby’s wandering hand. 

_“Hey, sweetie.” Shelby called entering the bathroom._

_Toni was sitting on the floor of the shower, her knees hugged up to her chest. The water so hot the whole room was already filled with steam._

_Shelby quickly pulled her clothes off and stepped into the shower, turning the water down a bit, knowing that it was too hot for Toni’s own good. She sat down next to her, running her fingers through Toni’s hair. “How bad was it?”_

_Toni huffed, her eyes watering again. “Bad.”_

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, not wanting to add to Toni’s stress, “can I ask what you told my dad?”_

_Toni nodded, “I told him that the facility is really what did the number on me and that there’s still footage out there of us that we’ll never know of or see.”_

_“Hmmm…” Shelby hummed, leaning her head back against the shower wall. “You know the saddest part?” Toni looked at her, knowing that Shelby was trying to distract her from her own thoughts. Shelby continued, “that part isn’t what the majority of my trauma is from.” She quickly added, “like don’t get me wrong, all of that is fucked. But the saddest part, is that then I had to go home and I had to try so many things to just make contact with you.” She laughed. “Do you remember that?”_

_“Do I remember sending letters to your state mandated therapist every day so that you’d get to read them at the start of your session every week. Or do I remember how you used to call me from your friend’s phone every day at lunch time, and I would just stay silent and you would tell me everything because I was in class, but would make sure I had a headphone in and I couldn’t say anything back, so I would just listen to you ramble on for thirty minutes straight, or hear you just say I love you a thousand times. And I couldn’t react at all or the teacher would find out and take my phone.” Toni let out a laugh. “Yeah, I remember.”_

_Shelby sighed, “Thanks for being fucked up in the head with me.”_

_Toni laughed, “thanks for joining me in the shower.”_

_“My dad kind of awkwardly told me they were going to be back at eight.”_

_Toni frowned, “did Dave fucking Goodkind just wingman me?”_

_Shelby nodded with a laugh. “He absolutely did. Are you okay though? Like obviously, wer’re not okay, and I do think you should make an extra appoint with Dr. Fulbright for next week if she’s got room, but for today, are you going to be okay?”_

_Toni grabbed Shelby’s hand and kissed it gently. “Yeah, I think so. Just a normal emotional hangover.”_

_“Can I love on you for a bit?” Shelby asked. After one of Toni’s bad dreams, there had been times that Toni had just needed space. There were other times where Toni just wanted to fucked into a coma, and there were others still where she just wanted to curl up into Shelby’s side and let Shelby play with her hair until she fell asleep. Shelby never knew which it was going to be._

_“Please.” Toni whispered._

_Shelby nodded, stood, and offered Toni her hand, cutting the water off as they stepped out. Toni followed her out of the shower. She stood on their bathmat while Shelby wrapped her in a big towel. She wrapped Toni’s hair up too before drying herself off and leading Toni out to their bed, pulling back the covers so that Toni could climb in. “What can I do, love?” Shelby asked, her voice sweet._

_Toni knew what she meant, she was asking a bunch things at once. Did Toni want contact, did she need anything, did Toni want to talk about her dream? “I’m sorry this happened while they’re here.” Toni whispered, tears welling up in her eyes again._

_Toni spent most of the days she woke up in the middle of the night beating herself up over it, but Shelby never minded. Toni had put up with her struggles, too. She wished Toni realized that. That Toni didn’t feel like she had to have it all together all the time, they had talked about this before, even in the few therapy sessions they had gone to together, but Toni always thought that Shelby deserved her at her absolute best and hated the days and moments she gave her less than that._

_Shelby shook her head no, “love, no. It’s okay. Let’s look at the positives. For the first time, my dad has some inkling of what we went through. More importantly, he was respectful towards your needs, which what?! I swear you’re already his favorite child.”_

_Toni laughed at that. “I know I’ve spent years hating him, and I know that this all took him a really long time, but I really like who he is now.”_

_Shelby laughed, “me, too. I hope he keeps growing. Mom seems so much happier, and I know that I’m-- I just keep pinching myself hoping I don’t wake up.”_

_Toni nodded, pulling her towel out from around her, dropping it on the ground next to the bed. She scooted around under the sheets, getting comfortable in the bed, smiling softly at Shelby who was propped up on her elbow watching her. Toni bit her bottom lip, her eyes flashing down Shelby’s naked, poorly dried off body. She looked at the clock on the wall. “You said your parents were going to be back around eight?”_

_A devious smile tugged at the corners of Shelby’s lips. “Yes, why?”_

_“I could really use your hands all over me for the next hour and a half then.” Toni said._

_This was Shelby’s favorite way to comfort Toni, but it was the most rare form of comfort Toni wanted. Normally, Toni opted for space, spending entire days out in the garage. But Shelby was all too happy to oblige, throwing her own towel to the floor. “Roll over, sweetie,” she murmured softly and Toni rolled onto her stomach. Shelby climbed out of bed and grabbed her lotion off her dresser. She returned and straddled Toni’s ass, pumping the lotion into her palms. She rubbed her hands together, warming the lotion as quickly as she could, before smoothing it across Toni’s shoulders and neck._

_Toni hummed in delight, feeling her whole body relax under Shelby’s touch. Shelby worked Toni’s neck and shoulders and down her arms and lower back. She massaged Toni’s ass, which on a normal day would have made Toni giggle, but today just made her hum softly, and melt more into the mattress. She kneaded Toni’s thighs and calves and feet. When she was done, she wondered if Toni had fallen asleep. She was pleasantly surprised when Toni rolled back over to face her, the look in her eyes was filled with love. “Thank you.” She said, her voice barely audible._

_Shelby smiled at her, “you’re welcome.” Shelby’s eyes wandered slowly down Toni’s body, she bit her bottom lip, her eyes flashing back up to Toni’s._

_Toni didn’t say anything, she just spread her legs open, giving Shelby room to take her however she pleased. Shelby grinned a wicked grin, settling down in between Toni’s legs, letting her tongue dip straight into Toni’s slick wet heat. Toni gasped at the immediate and direct contact, but only spread her legs wider, craving more, desperate to feel only good and only love._

_Shelby circled her clit with her tongue, each lap dipping lower and lower. She slid her tongue as deep into Toni as it would go, licking all the way back up to her most sensitive bundle of nerves._

_Toni’s body arched off the bed, wanting more. Her fingers tangled through Shelby’s wet hair. Shelby knew what Toni wanted, without changing the pattern of her tongue, she pressed two of her fingers deep inside Toni. Her heart pounding to the rhythm of Toni gasping her name. Shelby lost herself in the feeling of Toni’s bliss, to the feeling of Toni pulsing around her fingers as she thrust in and out of her. Shelby sucked on her clit, tipping Toni over the edge, humming her own approval to Toni coming undone around her fingers._

_“I love you.” Toni whispered, gently tugging at Shelby’s shoulders, trying to get her to come lay on top of her. They both eyed the clock. “Fifteen minutes until your dad said they’d be back.” Toni smiled._

_Shelby blushed, “I’m already so close, I swear it’d only take two.”_

_Toni grinned, her happiness reaching her eyes. In that moment, Shelby knew she had succeeded in pulling Toni out of her dark thoughts for the day. Toni’s voice was tender and raw and full of love, her hand slid down Shelby’s abs, “we’ll even have time to cuddle after.”_

That night, the girls all sat around their new campfire in their new camp. They had decided during that day that they were going to drag some good massive logs into the center, surround the fire, so they would have seats or at least something they could lean back against. But for tonight, they were enjoying the grass floor instead of sand and the vastly reduced wind. 

Fatin sat down next to Shelby while Toni got some berries for them to snack on. Nora had found a new food resource and they were all pretty happy for something that wasn’t lychees. “I finally got your girlfriend to crack.” She said, a smug look on her face. 

Shelby’s jaw dropped. Surely Toni would have said something earlier that day if Fatin had really cracked her, right? Shelby eyed Toni across the camp carefully. “Oh yeah, what did you get from her?” Her voice was laced with disbelief. 

“That you’re kind of turning into a top and really good with your tongue.” Fatin whispered, trying not to draw attention to them. 

Shelby blushed a deep red, not sure to feel proud, embarrassed, or mad. “I can’t believe she told you that.” She said through clenched teeth. 

Fatin leaned her head back and howled with laughter, “she didn’t say anything, dude. But thank you so much for confirming my suspicions.” Fatin quickly backed off before Shelby could hit her. 

Toni came back looking thoroughly confused. “What did I miss?” She eyed Shelby carefully. It had been a long time since she had seen her so flustered. 

Shelby sighed and told Toni how Fatin had trapped her into admitting some stuff about their sex life. Toni threw her head back in laughter and fist bumped a still laughing Fatin. Shelby did her best to not crack into laughter and still feign rage, crossing her arms over her chest. “I can’t believe you find this funny.” 

Toni kissed Shelby’s cheek, “can I make it up to you later?” She whispered into Shelby’s ear, her voice low and seductive. 

“You better.” Shelby huffed out, all traces of anger gone, a flutter of excitement in their place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Theories? Anyone else just kind of reeling about how fucked the situation is when you really think about it? 
> 
> Y'all are just gonna get a chapter of smut next. This had too many emotions, lol.
> 
> Also, I'll go back to the other timeline at some point as well. We all-myself included-want to know what's in the bag. (Feel free to say what you want to see). 
> 
> Peace, love, and happy February,   
> Em


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I promised you a chapter of all smut as a thank you for last chapter's heavier nature. Here's porn with no plot. 
> 
> Shout out to SteelandStrawberries for this idea. 
> 
> Enjoy!  
> Em

Toni pulled back the cloth door of their little lean-to, holding it up for Shelby to duck inside. Shelby stepped carefully, not wanting to put too much weight down on her weak ankle. She settled down on the soft ground, appreciating the soft grass that had replaced the black sand. She just wanted to go a day without feeling covered in sand.

“Hey!” Fatin yelled from across the camp, not caring that some of the girls had already drifted off to sleep. 

Toni spun around, “what?” she spoke in a whispered yell. 

“That shit’s not soundproof. Friendly reminder.” Fatin called back. 

Shelby huffed from inside the lean-to. “Sweetie, will you please flick her off for me.” 

Toni giggled. “This is from Shelby.” She held up both her middle fingers. Toni crawled into the lean-to after that, still laughing as she planted kisses on Shelby’s lips. 

Shelby blushed, “I’m going to hit her.” 

Toni laughed even harder, “we might be spending too much time together.” 

Shelby threw her head back in a laugh. “I’m more than okay with that.” 

Toni grinned at her, “me, too.” They laid down, the pseudo privacy building a sexual tension neither of them knew what to do with. Toni slid her arm under Shelby’s neck. Shelby smiled, rolling onto her side, facing away from Toni, scooting back into her front. Toni draped her free arm over Shelby’s waist, pulling her back tighter into her. Her fingertips trailing over the exposed skin of Shelby’s abdomen. 

Shelby inhaled sharply, her hips automatically grinding back into Toni’s. Toni gripped her hip tightly, steadying her. The grip didn’t help, it spurred Shelby on, the blonde rocking back into Toni again. 

Toni pressed her lips into the base of Shelby’s neck, right where it met her shoulder. Her palm sliding up Shelby’s front, cupping her breast, her dipping beneath the band of the sports bra she hadn’t bothered to remove. She felt Shelby’s nipple stiffen against her calloused hand. 

Shelby took deep breaths, focusing on remaining as quiet as possible, straining her ears, trying to ensure no one could hear them. Toni continued to massage Shelby’s breasts, alternating her attention, her hips meeting Shelby’s ass as the blonde desperately ground back against her. 

Shelby tugged on Toni’s wrist. Toni thought she just wanted her to stop. She prepared her apology, but before she could say anything, Shelby was shoving Toni’s hand into the front of her shorts. Toni dipped her fingers through Shelby’s juices. She exhaled a shaky breath, taken aback by how wet Shelby was. Shelby’s hips rocked back again into Toni’s front, a desperate roll, needing more of Toni. Toni’s fingers rocked back and forth over Shelby’s clit, setting a rhythm for them to follow. 

Shelby clasped her own hand over her mouth, trying to remind herself to stay silent, focusing on keeping her breathing steady. Toni slid the fingers she had been working Shelby’s clit with inside her as deeply as this angle would allow. Shelby’s free hand found Toni’s gripping tightly, intertwining their fingers. 

Toni felt Shelby’s whole body tighten, coiling into her front. She felt Shelby tighten her own hold over her mouth, her breathing ragged, her whole body shaking with orgasm. Toni worked Shelby through it, slowing along with the rock of Shelby’s body. When Shelby’s body stilled, Toni pulled out of her, moving her hand to suck the juices off her fingers, but Shelby caught her wrist. She pulled Toni’s fingers into her own mouth, licking herself off them. Toni practically whimpered behind her. 

Shelby rolled over in Toni’s arms, kissing her, deeply. Her tongue slotting into Toni’s mouth. Toni kissed her desperately, wanting to taste Shelby in her own mouth. Shelby’s hands fluttered to Toni’s waistband, but Toni caught her hand, linking their fingers again. Toni exhaled a shaky breath and shook her head no. Shelby searched her eyes, concerned. Toni pulled her into a tight hug. “Did I do something wrong?” Shelby asked, her voice soft, very aware that Toni had never told her no before. 

Toni’s eyes widened, she pulled back so that Shelby could make out her expression in the darkness of the night. “No, love. I can’t be quiet.” 

Shelby bit her bottom lip, her worries melting away. “Promise?” 

Toni chuckled, she grabbed Shelby’s hand and pushed it down the front of her joggers, guiding her fingers down through her folds. Shelby’s jaw dropped when she felt how wet Toni was. Her eyes searched Toni’s face, her eyes were slammed shut, her jaw was clenched, her breathing heavy. 

Shelby pulled her hand out of Toni’s pants, sucking on her fingers, reveling in the taste of herself mixed with Toni on her tongue. Toni took deep, steadying breaths, keeping Shelby pulled as tight to her as physically possible. 

_“Hey, Sweetie?” Shelby said, walking into their apartment living room. She grinned, taking in the sight of Toni sprawled out on their massive couch reading a book._

_Toni put her bookmark in place and looked up from the book she was reading, dropping it immediately. “Whoah.” Toni said, her eyes raking up Shelby’s body. She knew that the day before Shelby had said she had gone shopping, but they had both gotten sidetracked exploring the contents of the black bag. Toni hadn’t realized Shelby had also gotten herself the world’s sexiest lingerie._

_Shelby was in a black lace teddy, complete with thigh high stockings and garters. A smile locked into place as Toni’s jaw dropped. Shelby flipped her hair over her shoulder as she spun on her heels, taking two confident steps back down the hallway towards her bedroom. “You coming?” She called over her shoulder, chuckling to herself as she heard Toni scramble off the couch._

_She heard the heavy clunk of Toni’s work boots as she must have hurriedly kicked out of them. She laid back on her bed, propped up on her elbows, waiting. She had already made sure the room was perfect after she had gotten out of the shower. The bed was made with fresh sheets, she had lit candles, she liked surprising Toni. Her smile widened when Toni rounded the corner to her room, already having pulled off her shirt and jeans._

_Toni took in the room, her eyes landing on Shelby, on display just for her. “Fuck,” Toni exhaled, her mouth watering at the sight. Shelby rolled to her side, facing Toni, propping her head up on her hand. “What would you do if I said you could do whatever you wanted to me, right now.” Her voice was low and seductive._

_“Whatever I want?” Toni asked, trying her best to match Shelby’s tone._

_Shelby nodded, feeling her blush creep up over her chest._

_“You sure?” Toni asked._

_“I’m sure.” Shelby whispered._

_Toni crossed the room to Shelby’s closet. Shelby waited, patiently, listening to the sound of Toni rustling through the back bag she had gotten the day before. She wondered what Toni would come out with. Toni exited the closet into the bathroom, Shelby had the master bedroom in their apartment and had a huge ensuite._

_Shelby could feel herself getting wetter by the second, the longer the mystery remained, the more she wanted to know what Toni had grabbed. Her heart fluttered, thinking about how as soon as she had told Toni anything she wanted, Toni had beelined for the bag. There was very clearly something in there that Toni had wanted to try and that made Shelby’s heart soar._

_Toni stood in the bathroom, tugging her boxers and sports bra off. She pulled the harness up, tightening each of the straps, slipping one of the medium sized dildos into the slot. She blushed at her reflection, hoping Shelby found this as hot as she had found her the day before. Toni grabbed the handcuffs off the counter before heading back into the bedroom._

_Shelby sat up when Toni walked into the room, turning out the bathroom light as she entered, the flicker of the candles highlighting every taut muscle in Toni’s body. Shelby felt her own breathing hitch when she saw the handcuffs in Toni’s hand, watching excitedly as Toni held them up, one of the loops hanging off the tip of her finger._

_Toni’s confidence shot through the roof when she saw Shelby’s mouth fall open, her eyes widening, a blush apparent through the sheer lace of her bodice. “This okay?” Toni asked, her voice rumbling with desire._

_Shelby nodded and scooted up her bed, knowing if they were going to use the handcuffs she’d need to be closer to her wrought iron headboard. Toni hit the quick release on the handcuffs, “you know how to get out if you need to, right?” she stepped closer, her strides deliberate, waiting patiently beside the bed._

_Shelby shook her head no, watching Toni’s hands._

_“There’s a little push button right here on both of the cuffs.” Toni looked at Shelby, searching her eyes, finding only desire._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, frowning, “how’d you know that?” There was a hint of jealousy in her voice._

_Toni laughed, kissing her on the forehead, “when I was a little kid my neighbor and I played cops and robbers all the time. They were his cuffs, so I was usually the robber. Figured this out and posted a lot of jailbreaks.”_

_Shelby visibly relaxed._

_“His cuffs weren’t fuzzy though.” Toni said with a wink._

_Shelby blushed again, letting her eyes fall to the strapon._

_“It’s not too big is it? I can switch to one of the smaller ones.” Toni said._

_Shelby shook her head no. “No, it’s perfect.”_

_Toni licked her lips, she grabbed Shelby’s hand, kissing it gently before clicking the cuff around her wrist. She made sure there was still plenty of room between metal and flesh. Shelby swallowed audibly before leaning back, lifting her arms up over her head. Toni crawled up on the bed, reaching over Shelby, careful with the dildo. She clicked the other handcuff into place._

_Shelby tugged against them, testing the feeling, moaning softly at the bite of the metal into her wrist. Toni watched her, her own breaths quickening. She settled herself down in between Shelby’s legs, kissing down her neck, the lace of her bodice rough against Toni’s skin._

_Toni’s hands roamed the fabric, wanting to touch Shelby’s skin through every opening in the lace. Tracing the floral pattern sewn over the cups. “I like this.” Toni said, her voice jagged._

_Shelby grinned up at her, “I hoped you would.”_

_Toni grinned at the thought of Shelby in a store like Victoria’s Secret or something similar, shopping for something to surprise her with. Her heart pounded, overflowing with love and lust combined at once. She let her hands slide lower on Shelby’s body, down over exposed thighs, fingering the edges of the garters there. They trailed back up, moving slowly, ghosting over Shelby’s exposed skin, her fingertips hooking under the lace of the panties that matched Shelby’s bodice. She pulled them down and off Shelby, her palm dragging back up Shelby’s leg the whole way. Shelby moaned when Toni slid her fingers up through her lower lips, testing how wet Shelby was, gaging to see if she’d need to grab the lube. Shelby was dripping._

_Toni hummed in approval, “ready?”_

_Shelby nodded, spreading her legs wider for Toni._

_Toni dipped the dildo through Shelby’s folds, coating it with her thick heat, pressing into her. Shelby gasped, her hips automatically surging forward, her whole body desperate for more. Toni rocked into her gently, not wanting to overwhelm her._

_“Fuck.” Shelby moaned._

_“Too much?” Toni asked, holding herself completely still, waiting for Shelby to give her the go ahead._

_Shelby shook her head, no. “Good fuck.” She gasped, out of breath._

_Toni nodded, understanding. She pulled out as far as she could go without coming out then lowered herself back in. Toni groaned as she watched herself sink into Shelby, trying to lock the image away in a vault in her brain. Toni worked her hips into a rhythm, slow and steady._

_Shelby tugged against the handcuffs, continuously forgetting they were locked around her wrists. She tried for a third time to touch Toni’s chest, stopped again by the fuzz covered metal. She considered releasing herself, but she reminded herself this whole evening was about letting Toni be in charge, relinquishing control. And Toni had wanted her handcuffed to the bed. Shelby moaned with each thrust, her body rising off the bed to greet it. She felt a ripple pulse through her, “fuck, Toni, I’m gonna finish.” Her voice was so breathless, she hardly recognized it._

_Toni slowed to a stop, gently pulling out._

_Shelby’s eyes flashed open, she tugged tightly against the cuffs. She watched a wicked grin spread across Toni’s lips. “Love?” She asked, her voice a whine._

_Toni held her tightly, kissing down her neck, careful to not give Shelby any contact where she needed it most._

_“Love?” Shelby’s voice was thicker now._

_Toni lowered herself kissing down Shelby’s thighs, avoiding Shelby’s wet center._

_“Toni.” Shelby said, desperate._

_“Mmmm?” Toni asked, giving Shelby a gentle kiss._

_“What the fuck?” Shelby asked, full of confusion._

_Toni smiled, “you said you were gonna finish.” She shrugged, pressing another kiss to Shelby’s lips, trailing her lips down Shelby’s neck. “You said I could do whatever I want, and babe…” Toni locked eyes with Shelby, her voice dropping, “I am nowhere near done with you.”_

_Any protestation Shelby had thought vanished, a low moaning replacing them. She swallowed air in gulps as Toni’s fingers unlaced her bodice slowly, pulling the ribbon out one hole at a time, the feeling of the fabric sliding against her chest and then her abdomen. Toni let the top fall open, exposing Shelby’s chest. She sucked on a nipple, her palm covering the other, making sure they both got attention._

_Toni kissed down Shelby’s body, waiting for Shelby’s breathing to return to a semi-normal pattern. “You ready?” Toni asked, waiting patiently for Shelby’s answer._

_“Yes, please.” She said, a smile creeping across her lips._

_Toni grinned and kissed her quickly, she helped guide the dildo back into Shelby. Shelby cried out with pleasure. Moaning with each pump of Toni’s hips. Toni rocked into her faster this time, with shorter more determined strokes._

_Shelby gripped the headboard, feeling her body start to tighten again. Toni felt it too, “do you want to come or do you want to keep going?” Toni asked, panting from exertion._

_Shelby’s mind flooded with hundreds of thoughts, “more,” was all she whispered._

_A fire lit in Toni’s eyes. She pulled out of Shelby gently, holding her tightly as her breathing steadied. Shelby watched her, love and desire humming through her body. “I’m good.” She whispered after a few minutes._

_Toni dipped back into her, setting a faster, harder pace, knowing it’s the pace Shelby wanted all along. Shelby moaned with each thrust, not caring how she sounded. Toni felt too good in her to hold anything back. The first wave of her orgasm crashed through her. She gripped the metal bars of her headboard, needing something to ground her since she couldn’t cling to Toni. They were both surprised at how long it rocked through Shelby’s body. Toni worked her through it, slowing steadily, coming to stop as Shelby collapsed back into the mattress, her body still shaking._

_Shelby tugged on the handcuffs, her eyes flashing to Toni’s, a smile crossing her lips. Toni smiled back at her and reached up hitting the release on both of the cuffs. Shelby’s arms wrapped around Toni’s neck immediately, pulling her lips down to meet hers. Toni still had the dildo inside her and she was still pulsing around it. Shelby’s grip and shaky breaths told Toni not to move. Shelby broke their kiss, “fuck.” She whispered, “I should let you do whatever you want more often.” She was still out of breath._

_Toni laughed, kissing her sweetly, “you okay with me coming out?”_

_Shelby nodded, gasping a bit when Toni pulled out of her completely. Shelby tugged Toni’s body back down on top of hers, holding her tightly. “That was amazing.”_

_Toni grinned, yanking at the straps on her thighs, and around her waist, she wanted her whole body flush against Shelby’s. She shimmied out of the strap on, immediately lowering herself back down. She tilted her head back, searching Shelby’s eyes. “I love you.”_

_Shelby’s eyes watered, overwhelmed with emotion and physical bliss combined. “God, I love you, too.” Shelby pressed a kiss to Toni’s forehead, “so have you just been holding out on me with that one, or?”_

_Toni laughed, she shook her head no, “I read a few articles on it like nine months ago. I’ve just been waiting until we lived together. I wasn’t going to spring that on you six months ago when Martha and I visited you.”_

_Shelby blushed, thinking back to that trip. “Why’d you want to wait.”_

_Toni hummed in thought, “because I had a feeling if I did it right, we’d want to spend some time just being together and being naked, and I didn’t want to ignore Martha the whole time we were in Texas.”_

_Shelby laughed, squeezing Toni tighter. “You did it right.”_

Shelby pressed a kiss to Toni’s neck, her arm circling over her waist. “You sure you don’t want me to?” Her voice was so soft, even Toni could barely hear her. 

Toni chuckled, the laugh rumbling in her chest, “I’m sure.” She whispered back, “I’m carrying you far away from this camp in the morning though.” 

Shelby giggled, “promise?” 

Toni laughed, “guaranteed.” Toni hugged Shelby tighter to her, careful to not jostle her leg. 

“I love you, Toni Elizabeth Shalifoe.” 

Toni smiled, “I love you, Shelby Faith Goodkind.” 

Shelby pressed a few more kisses into Toni’s neck before drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and commenting. Work has been hella stressful for the past week or so, and this little fic has become a dream to escape too. You're all lovely and deserve the best and I can't thank you enough for all your kind words. 
> 
> I'm more than open to suggestions. If there's anything you want to see, let me know! 
> 
> Hope you're all having stellar weeks,  
> Em


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I referenced at one point the time Toni and Martha went to visit Shelby in Texas. Couldn't get that out of my head. Not leaving the other timelines behind, just wanted to add another lol. 
> 
> Thanks for reading,  
> Em

Shelby woke up before Toni, smiling as she took in their position. She was flat on her back and Toni was draped over her, one arm stuffed up Shelby’s shirt, her hand gripping Shelby’s bra strap tightly. Shelby could feel Toni’s deep breaths against her neck. She tilted her head down and kissed the top of Toni’s head. Toni’s grip tightened, but her breathing stayed steady.

For the first time in over a week, Shelby prayed. She prayed for their safety, she prayed for both her and Toni’s health and love, she prayed for forgiveness--not for being gay, but for any hateful or judgmental thought she had had--she prayed for her parents, that they would see the error of their ways, and she prayed that if they were rescued, she and Toni would always be this madly in love. 

_Toni bounced excitedly in her seat. Martha gripped her hand, trying to settle her best friend. No one should be physically capable of being this hyper when they had both taken Xanaxes before their flight. Their therapists had advised them both to take their medication prior to stepping onto a plane ever again. Rationally, they knew they hadn’t been in a plane crash, but it still felt like they had. To all of the girls, they all remembered the fear of thinking they were crashing and the fear of coming to on the island. Not a single one of them had shaken the fear of it. Now that they had touched down at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport, Toni was about to implode she was so excited to get off the plane. She hadn’t seen Shelby in real life in about eight months. The little communication they had had was so strained. And now, exactly one day before Shelby’s eighteenth birthday and she was going to get to see her. She thought her heart was going to burst._

_The fasten seat belt light went off and she quickly unfastened. Martha kept a tight hold on her hand. “We agreed to meet her by the baggage.” Toni’s eyes flashed down to Martha’s hand. She knew Martha was excited for her. She also knew how much this meant to Toni and to Shelby. But she also knew that Toni would start a fight with a random stranger and derail their whole goal if she didn’t calm down. “Deep breaths.” Martha reminded her._

_Toni nodded, inhaling slow shaky breaths. She pulled her backpack out from under the seat in front of her and waited as patiently as she could for the plane to start deboarding. Toni was careful to not push or bump anyone as she exited. She made sure to walk at Martha’s pace the whole way when her insides wanted to climb over seats and take off at a full sprint. They rode the escalators down to the baggage area, her eyes scanning for Shelby._

_Shelby saw her first, not caring if she was calm. She hit Toni so hard with a full body hug it knocked the wind from both of them. She had made two welcome signs, one for Martha and one for Toni with hearts drawn all over it. Both were wrinkled haphazardly in the hug. So were the flowers she had gotten for Toni._

_Neither wanted to let go, and neither cared if people stared. They were too happy to be in each other’s arms. Martha stood there patiently, laughing, feeling the pure joy radiating off of them. Leaving them to grab her checked bag when they started making out. She had made Toni promise that they would leave the hotel, but when she came back with her overstuffed suitcase she was beginning to wonder if Toni would make good on that promise. She cleared her throat, watching them break apart finally._

_Shelby blushed, “sorry, Marty.” She said, before wrapping Martha in a big hug._

_Martha just smiled, noticing both of the other girls were crying silent happy tears. “I’m happy to drive us to the hotel if y’all need a minute.” Shelby eye’d Toni like she was seriously considering taking Martha up on that offer, but she shook her head. She could contain herself for the twenty minutes it would take to get to the little La Quinta hotel rooms they had booked. Toni and Martha were going to stay for the entirety of their spring break. Shelby had them from Friday evening clear through the next Sunday afternoon. It had been the luckiest thing in the world that their spring breaks had lined up. Toni and Martha had saved up all year for this trip, paying for the flights and rooms themselves. Their trials were all still taking place and none of them had been given their settlements yet. As a result, Toni and Martha had gotten waitressing jobs in their small town and had busted their asses for the past eight months._

_And now it was finally here and Toni couldn’t take her eyes or her hands off of Shelby. She ran her fingers through Shelby’s short cropped hair. “This is very Ruby Rose of you.” She said with a smile, marveling at how much it had grown. She had kept the sides trimmed, but had let the top grow out._

_Shelby blushed, not getting the reference. “Is that a good thing?”_

_Toni let out a laugh, “It’s a very good thing.” She bit her bottom lip, fighting every urge to drag her into the airport restrooms. She ran her fingers through it, unable to stop herself._

_Martha cleared her throat again._

_“Shit.” Toni whispered, startled by Martha._

_Shelby blushed even deeper. “I parked this way.” She led them out into the heat of a Texas spring. She laughed as Toni and Martha quickly started stripping out of their sweaters, shock and disgust at the thick, heavy Texas heat._

_“Fuck.” Toni groaned. “How is it this hot here already.”_

_Shelby laughed, it wasn’t even that hot yet, only in the eighties._

_“Seriously, Love.” Toni continued, “it’s night time, how is it this hot at night?”_

_Shelby didn’t even notice, she was so used to it. She kissed the back of her girlfriend’s hand. They only stopped holding hands for Toni to help Martha load her suitcase up into the back of Shelby’s shiny white Mercedes. The second she was in the passenger seat, her hands were back on Shelby. It was only then that she noticed the welcome signs and the flowers in Shelby’s hand._

_Toni’s eyes watered again, “you got me flowers?”_

_Shelby laughed, aware that Toni had been too preoccupied to notice. “Of course, Sweetie. I made y’all signs too.” She handed Toni and Martha their welcome signs._

_Mp >Toni blushed and took them from her, inhaling the flowers deeply. “No one’s ever gotten me flowers before.” Toni said softly, setting them in her lap like they were the most important things. She smiled at Shelby, thoughts of the fact that they were finally going to get to sleep in a bed together suddenly racing through her mind. _

_Shelby was having the very same thoughts. It wasn’t just that they were finally reunited, it was that they were on their way to a hotel room. Martha interrupted their thoughts, cutting the tension in the car. “How have you been, Shelby? We’ve barely spoken since we made it back.”_

_Shelby flinched. Her parents were trying to find loopholes around every single court order her lawyers had helped her file. After the ‘incident’ in LAX eight months ago when the ‘Unsinkable eight’ had landed and her dad was filmed by every major media outlet, physically ripping his daughter away from Toni, everyone in her family was ordered counseling. Not only that, but if her therapist signed an order, her parents were legally required to follow it. Their trials had all been very publicized, and Dave Goodkind had acted out under a lot of scrutiny._

_Shelby was allowed to continue to drive her same car, and technically had phone privileges, but Dave read every text and had transcripts of every call that came through. Any photo she took was uploaded to a family cloud and to top it off, he had the support of a lot of locals. Teachers, in particular, liked to report back to him on her daily activities. He had gone so far off the deep and therapy didn’t seem to be helping. As soon as their trial was concluded and Shelby was awarded her settlement, she was moving up to Minnesota, done with school or not. She’d repeat her senior year if she needed to, or just get her GED, the day after the settlement was over, she was moving out._

_She didn’t say anything to Martha’s question, just let her mind race through her past several months. Her fathers rage, her mother’s fear, the fact that her two siblings just stayed as far away from her as possible, the fact that all of her friends ditched her, the fact that there was no Becca to share everything with. She hadn’t even realized she had started to cry, she just felt Toni’s hands wiping the tears away._

_Shelby’s green eyes searched Toni’s, the warmth in their honey brown, melting her. It was all she could do to not sob. Martha reached around the seat and gave her a hug while Toni wiped her own tears away._

_“Well,” Martha said, “how about we go have the best damn week of our lives to make up for it.”_

_“Hear hear.” Toni said, digging an orange gatorade bottle out of the backpack at her feet and held it up in the air like a cheers before taking a swig._

_Shelby let out a laugh, knowing that Martha was right. Her therapist had signed a form excusing her from the Goodkind house until Sunday. She had left her phone there so Dave couldn’t track her or contact her. Shelby pushed the thoughts of her chaotic and traumatic home-life aside, letting her eyes drift to her beautiful girlfriend, her heart melting at the fact that she was here in her car._

_Shelby drove them to the La Quinta along I-35 easily, coming to a stop under the little welcome awning. They got out of the car and filed into the lobby. Toni’s arm sliding around her waist, too excited to not be touching her. The man behind the counter looked them over, completely disinterested, more focused on his cell phone. He handed them room keys and went back to scrolling._

_“Are y’all hungry?” Shelby asked, it was almost ten o’clock at night, but she didn’t know when they had last eaten._

_Toni bit her lip, fighting the urge to say something that would embarrass Martha._

_“Nah, we ate at the airport.” Martha said as Shelby pulled into a parking space._

_Shelby smiled, she was almost shaking, she was so nervous. Toni was about to bounce out of her seat._

_“Are you hungry, love?” Toni asked, trying to keep her voice at a normal pitch._

_A smile tugged at the corner of Shelby’s lips. She shook her head no. Toni wondered if she had just repressed the same response she had just moments ago._

_Martha cracked up, “okay, well as much fun as this is for me, I think I’m going to go to bed.” She turned all her attention on Toni. “We’re going sightseeing and doing birthday and St. Patty’s day tomorrow. Breakfast is served here until 8:30. I will meet you both in the lobby at 7:30.”_

_Toni nodded, she had promised Martha that despite how much she just wanted to spend every second of this week in bed with Shelby, she would make sure they went out every day and didn’t treat her like a total third wheel._

_Toni helped unload all the bags. Throwing her own duffle over her shoulder, she pulled Martha’s massive checked bag out of Shelby’s trunk and then smiled when she noticed Shelby’s pink suitcase and floral print backpack. Her heart pounding in her chest again, overwhelmed with emotions. “Love can you grab my flowers?” She asked, her voice soft._

_Martha just giggled, rolling her bag away. “Y’all have a good night. I’ll see you in the morning.” She called, leaving Toni and Shelby alone in the parking lot._

_Toni pulled Shelby’s suitcase out of the trunk, then her backpack. Handing only the backpack over to her girlfriend. Shelby blushed when she realized Toni fully intended to roll her suitcase to their room. She didn’t know why that simple act melted her heart so much, but every time Toni showed her some extra kindness, some small thoughtful gesture, she completely fell apart. It was probably because no one had ever showed love in the same way. Her family’s love was expectant, conditional. When her dad did things like carry bags or make Spencer carry bags, it was sexist, it was condescending. When Toni did it, it was loving and thoughtful, like she just genuinely wanted to do nice things for Shelby._

_Shelby led the way to their room, taping the pad with the card, her heart pounding as the little light blinked green. Toni quickly turned their ice bucket into a makeshift vase. Shelby watched her with a surprised smile, pleased that Toni was so happy with them. When Toni was done, she locked eyes with Shelby. “I missed you,” Toni whispered, her voice catching in her throat._

_“I missed you, too.” These past few months had been impossibly hard. There were so many things she hadn’t been able to say. “Toni, I love you so much.” The fact that Toni had loved her enough to wait, alone was enough to make Shelby cry--and it had more than once--but Toni had spent the last eight months, working her ass off to being able to come see her and had sent letters to her therapist every single day._

_Toni smiled, a soft smile, “I know. I love you, too.”_

_Shelby closed the space between them, kissing Toni with every fiber of her being. Her hand wrapping themselves in Toni’s soft wavy hair. Toni moaned into the kiss, her hands immediately moving to Shelby’s waist. They kissed for what could have been hours or days, or minutes, it felt infinite. Shelby finally broke for air, her eyes raking down Toni’s front. “I need you,” her voice was pure desire._

_Toni nodded, knowing exactly what Shelby meant, feeling the same way. She pulled Shelby’s shirt off her, then lifted her arms for Shelby to remove her own. Toni blushed, “you looked really nice in that top.” She giggled, “sorry I didn’t say it sooner. I just..” She pressed a kiss to Shelby’s cheek, “It’s cool getting to see you in new things. Clothes that you didn’t have when we were on the island. Clothes that aren’t Fatin's.”_

_Shelby blushed, taking in Toni’s torn up black jeans. They looked like Toni had actually done the tearing to the pants, like she hadn’t bought them that way. She made a mental note to ask her later. “I agree.” She said, her eyes wandering back up to Toni’s chest, widening when they realized Toni was in a real bra. Like a proper bra. Not a sports bra or bralette like she had on the island, but a well fitted bra. Her hands drifted up Toni’s ribs, cupping her chest without a second thought. Toni leaned into it, her body on fire. She could feel her boxer briefs getting wetter by the second._

_Toni undid Shelby’s jean shorts, letting them fall to the floor, her eyes widening when she realized Shelby had worn a lacy green thong that perfectly matched the green bra she was wearing._

_Shelby’s hands flew to Toni’s jeans, the want in Toni’s eyes lighting a fire in Shelby she didn’t even know she possessed. Toni kicked out of her vans and helped Shelby tug the skinny jeans off her, laughing as Shelby pushed her back to the edge of the bed. When her calves hit the bed she fell back, taking Shelby with her, both of them laughing playfully and rolling awkwardly trying to get under the covers._

_“We’re in a bed.” Shelby whispered, rolling on top of Toni grinding her hips into her._

_Toni moaned, her hands sliding up Shelby’s back and unfastening her bra. “Fuck, this feels like a dream.”_

_Shelby leaned down and kissed her slowly, taking her time exploring every bit of Toni’s mouth, their bodies sliding together, finding a rhythm on their own accord. “Can I take these off you?” Shelby asked into Toni’s throat her fingers tracing the edge of Toni’s boxers._

_Toni nodded and lifted her hips, her own fingertips ghosting over Shelby’s olive green thong. Shelby pulled them off as well, slotting their bodies back together. Her hands roaming all over Toni’s body._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip. “You’re wearing a real bra.”_

_Toni frowned, “Ummm… yes? Is that a problem?”_

_Shelby giggled, “no, but I’ve never unhooked one before. Like on someone else.”_

_Toni laughed, not at Shelby, just in realization. She propped herself up on her elbows so that Shelby had room to work. She struggled a little bit, but not enough to be embarrassed. Toni ducked out of the straps, falling back on the bed, moving the pillows around until she was comfortable. Shelby’s eyes took Toni in, marveling at her beauty in the lamp lit room of the hotel. “Good lord I missed you.” She whispered, her lips tracing down Toni’s neck, peppering kisses across her chest._

_Toni blushed, her whole body reacting to Shelby’s light kisses. She lifted her hips against Shelby’s thigh, moaning when she found the contact she needed. Toni flushed, she was going to come from this. From Shelby naked on top of her, in a bed, something she had only ever dreamed about, thrusting into her, the white hotel sheets draped around her hips like out of a movie or tv show. “Fuck, babe, I can’t--” her words were cut short by the moan that toppled from her lips._

_Shelby’s eyes widened in disbelief. Toni had never come that fast. “Did you just?”_

_Toni blushed, curling her shoulders in, biting her bottom lip. She nodded yes._

_“Fuck.” Shelby whispered, her lips dropping to Toni’s. “I love you,” she repeated over and over as she pressed kisses to Toni’s mouth._

Toni mumbled, slowly waking up. “What, love?” 

Shelby looked at her, her heart full, running her fingers through Toni’s thick curly hair. She blushed, not realizing she had been praying out loud. 

“Nothing, sweetie. Go back to sleep.” She pressed a kiss to the top of Toni’s head. 

Toni hummed gently into Shelby’s chest. “Just a few more minutes of snuggles. Then I’m gonna carry you off into the woods.” 

Shelby laughed, her heart swelling at the fact that Toni had woken up still with full intentions of carrying her off into the woods for her own release.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! I've got a lot I want to do in all of the timelines I've got running and a few more moments in their futures I still want to explore. Y'all let me know if there's anything you want to see. We've got plenty of room and time.
> 
> Sorry for the almost PG chapter hahaha. I know that's not my usual jam, but I had to cut it some where. I promise more smut in the next one. <3
> 
> Thanks for everything, y'all. I can't tell you how much joy your comments are bringing me.  
> Em
> 
> Random and unrelated... Erana was in an NZ show called Golden Boy and holy F'in B it was funny.
> 
> Holler at me on Tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/theycallmequeerhat


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing credits for this chapter go to Aramis Finnegan, my middle fur baby and oldest cat. 
> 
> Full disclosure, this chapter is really me trying to set up the next couple of chapters for them in all the different timelines. I want to see Dave out in public with them, give y'all more info on their time apart, and set up the next (last) phase of them being on the island. That being said, other than smut, I know not a whole lot happens. It just be like that sometimes. 
> 
> Hope everyone is having wonderful, relaxing weekends.
> 
> Hope you enjoy,  
> Em

“Sweetie, I think we’re far enough away now.” Shelby said giggling, pressing kisses to Toni’s cheek as Toni carried her deeper into the woods away from their camp. Toni looked around, trying to find a good spot to set Shelby down. She had gotten lost in thought and probably would have just kept walking. She loved the feeling of Shelby hanging onto her as she walked and was never in a rush to put her down. She saw some grass that looked soft and lowered her carefully. The swelling of Shelby’s ankle had gone down and they had done a pretty good job of keeping her wound clean, but Toni was extra gentle with her. Toni felt all around Shelby's ankle again, making sure it wasn’t hot or discolored.

“It’s looking much better.” Toni said finally, smiling up at Shelby. 

Shelby blushed, still not used to the type of care and attention Toni had shown her since the accident. “Thanks, love. I don’t think you’ve given it any room to do anything other than heal.” 

Toni ducked her head. She wasn’t trying to annoy Shelby with how often she felt compelled to check her wound, she was just really aware of the limited supplies they had. If anyone else got injured it could spell catastrophe and with them being on a deserted island, someone was bound to get injured. “How’s your ankle feeling?” 

Shelby frowned, it hurt like a bitch any time she put the slightest pressure on it. “It’s doing a little better.” She said knowing that Toni would be able to see right through her lie. She could tell Toni had when she saw her jaw clench, her hands tracing gently down Shelby’s legs to her ankle. “Hey, love?” 

Toni’s eyes snapped up, meeting Shelby’s green gaze. 

“It’s going to be okay.” She smiled, encouraging Toni to do the same. “Now,” She said, her voice dropping and her accent thickening, “I thought you brought me out here so I could make up for last night.” 

Toni chuckled at herself, knowing that she had just carried her girlfriend for about a mile so that she could finally get off. “I did.” She said, a smug smile locking into place. 

They both eye’d Shelby’s ankle, not really sure how they were going to do this. “Did you have a plan?” Shelby asked finally. 

Toni shook her head no. “Not really, no.” They both laughed, “we’re dumb.” Toni laughed out. 

Shelby blushed, “I think we’re just crazy in love.” 

Toni bit her bottom lip, “I think so too.” Toni kissed her then, slow and deep. 

Shelby broke their kiss and eye’d a tree near them, “I have an idea.” She said, scooting herself to lean back up against the tree. 

Toni watched her, a smile in place. Loving that just a few weeks ago Shelby had never had sex, and now Shelby was coming up with ways she could safely fuck her given her injury. 

Shelby grinned at her, “you coming, Shalifoe?” 

Toni laughed, “I mean, hopefully.” 

Shelby rolled her eyes, but patted the ground in front of her for Toni to come take her seat. Toni grinned a mischievous grin, but did as she was asked, sitting down on the ground in front of Shelby and leaning back against her. She relaxed back into Shelby’s front, tilting her head to the side as Shelby kissed down her neck, her arms wrapping around Toni tightly. “Is this okay?” Shelby whispered into her ear, her southern accent thicker than normal. 

Toni nodded back against her shoulder. 

Shelby slipped her hand under Toni’s waistband, pressing more kisses to Toni’s neck. Her green eyes watching Toni’s chest rise and fall deeper with every breath. She slid her fingers through the pool of Toni’s wetness, feeling Toni gasp with need. Shelby traced lazy circles around Toni’s clit, loving the feeling of each of Toni’s shaky breaths. “Do you want me in you?” Shelby’s voice was barely more than a moan itself. 

Toni groaned back and nodded again. 

“Say it.” Shelby husked out. 

“Go in me?” Toni practically whimpered. 

Shelby smiled into Toni’s neck, feeling addicted to the sound of Toni’s voice. She bit just below Toni’s ear, curling two fingers deep into her. Shelby felt her face flush from the sound that rumbled from Toni’s core. Her thoughts fluttered to the night before when Toni said she wouldn’t be able to stay quiet, and now she knew exactly why Toni had said that. She was already throbbing. Shelby snaked her other hand under Toni’ s waistband, having one hand curl in and out of Toni as deep as she could and the other rubbing back and forth over her clit. 

“Keep doing that.” Toni whispered, breathless, a moan tumbling from her lips right after as Shelby curled into her again. 

Shelby felt a low rumble building in Toni’s body, her shaky breathing losing any sense of rhythm, her abs clenched tight against Shelby’s forearms. “Come for me?” Shelby whispered, her heart surging as Toni’s body completely released, her hips rolling into Shelby’s hands. Toni clutched Shelby’s forearms, holding her to her. 

“Don’t stop.” Toni shook, pulsing around Shelby’s fingers. 

Shelby redoubled her efforts, wanting to take Toni through a second orgasm. 

_Toni and Shelby set the table knowing Dave and Jobeth would be back any minute with breakfast. They didn’t want to scar Shelby’s parents for life, so they made sure they were semi put together for their return. Shelby had combed out her hair and gotten dressed in well fitting jeans and an olive green turtleneck sweater. Toni had pulled on some skinny jeans and a plain black v-neck, no longer bothering to hide the tribal sleeve tattoo she had. Toni was visibly more relaxed and centered in her post orgasm bliss. They both knew that would be obvious, but at least they weren't still going at it._

_Shelby eyed the clock, knowing her parents would be home any second. She wanted to kiss Toni for every second they had left. Toni could sense the desire coming off of Shelby in waves. She closed the distance between them, locking their lips together in a blistering kiss, interrupted all too soon by the rumbling engine of Miss Kim pulling onto their street._

_They rested their foreheads on each other regaining steady breaths. “Thank you,” Toni whispered._

_Shelby kissed the top of her head and pulled her in for a hug. “Always, love.”_

_They heard the garage door rise and Miss Kim rumble into her spot. “Want to go help them bring stuff in?” Toni asked against Shelby’s chest._

_Shelby squeezed her tighter for a second, breathing her in, not wanting to let her go. “We probably should.”_

_Toni kissed her cheek before loosening her grip and taking a step back. They stepped out into the garage as the door shut, the cold december air sending another refreshing wave through Toni. She smiled at Dave kindly when he stepped out of the driver's seat, nodding her head to him in thanks._

_“I don’t suppose you’d let me buy this car off you?” Dave asked, grinning like a little kid._

_“Sorry, Dave. That’s my baby.” Toni said with a laugh, grabbing half of the bags of food from Jobeth._

_Jobeth scoffed, “your baby for now, y’all better give me grandkids.”_

_Shelby’s eyes widened, they had only talked about having kids one time and it had almost caused Toni to have a panic attack. Something about bringing more kids into the world when there were so many who were desperate for families didn’t sit right with her at all and Shelby had never asked again. She had learned later from a silly online facebook quiz they took while scrolling together one night that Toni would adopt, but Shelby hadn’t said anything, she had just clocked the information._

_Toni cleared her throat, her eyes flashing to Shelby’s, not wanting to have this conversation in front of her parents when the first time Shelby had tried, it hadn't gone so well. The longer she and Shelby were together the more Toni actually did want to have a family with her, but she was hoping that Shelby would be open to fostering and adoption instead of having their own._

_She smiled at Shelby sweetly before ducking back into the house with her half of the food._

_Jobeth looked at Shelby confused, “did I say something wrong?”_

_Shelby shook her head, “no, Toni’s parents were just no shows so she gets really tense at the thought of having children. You know, no role models for that department, it just kind of scares her. She’s great with kids though.” Shelby grabbed the rest of the food, trying to play it off as nothing. “It’s fine Momma, really.”_

_Jobeth looked concerned, she didn’t want to stress Toni out again, Dave had shared with her what all had come out of Toni this morning and Jobeth felt a little more than guilty that they genuinely hadn’t known any of what had been shared with him. When she made it in the house, she watched as Toni carefully distributed the breakfasts based off of their orders, serving herself last. Jobeth waited patiently for Toni to finish before wrapping her in a big hug. Toni tensed at first, her eyes finding Shelby’s over Jobeth’s shoulder, but when Shelby returned her gaze looking overwhelmed with happiness, Toni just let herself sink into it, hugging her future mother-in-law back._

_Jobeth didn’t say anything to Toni, she wasn’t the best with words, she had kept herself from using them for far too long, but she did know that a mom’s hug full of love had a special kind of healing power all to itself, so she let it do her talking for her. She sat down after and waited for Shelby to pass out the half of food she was holding. “Shelby, would you like to lead the prayer before we eat?”_

_Shelby eyed her dad nervously, they hadn’t let her pray in front of them since she had returned from the island. Her words being blasphemous, false, tainted with the devil, were just a few things Dave had said to her while she still lived under his roof. She swallowed nervously, but she nodded. Dave and Jobeth bowed their heads. Shelby’s eyes found Toni’s for comfort._

_Toni didn’t understand the look on Shelby’s face, but it was clearly something heavy, so she placed her palm on Shelby’s knee and squeezed gently, not closing her eyes, but sitting respectfully through Shelby’s prayer._

_Shelby didn’t go on a long sermon on the mount, she simply thanked her god for her parents safe travel and the rebuilding of their relationship and the food they were about to eat and the blending of her old family and new._

_“Amen. Good job, baby.” Her dad said before cutting into his stack of pancakes._

_“Tom sure was something,” Jobeth said over her omelette, speaking of the man who owned the diner._

_Shelby paled, they had been regulars at Tom’s since they had first moved in together. He had watched their whole relationship blossom. That meant all the mornings where they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, the mornings where they were so hungover they puked in his restrooms, the mornings where they were having domestics because Shelby could never remember to put her shoes on the rack in the entry way or that Toni refused to separate her clothes from lights and darks for the wash and they argued as passionately as they made love, and Tom had watched it all._

_Dave chuckled, “he sure did have some funny stories to tell us about y’all while we waited for our breakfasts to be cooked.”_

_Toni bit her bottom lip wondering which stories he thought were pertinent, a particular memory from almost a year ago flashed through her mind. It was the night they had all gone out for Shelby’s 22nd birthday and they were both completely hammered. All of the girls were going to be crashing with them in their two bedroom apartment and Toni had been desperate to give Shelby wild birthday sex. Tom had threatened to ban them from his establishment if they couldn’t keep it in their pants._

_Jobeth giggled, “he showed us your booth and told us that y’all were secretly his favorite customers.”_

_Toni smiled, “probably because we leave him ridiculous tips.”_

_Dave laughed, but shook his head, “no he said y’all are his favorite because he’s never, in all--what ridiculous number did he throw out?”_

_“143 years,” Shelby and Toni said in unison laughing._

_Jobeth and Dave chuckled. Dave continued, “yeah, 143 years of owning that place he’s never once seen two people crazier about each other than you.”_

_Shelby and Toni both blushed at that. Shelby cleared her throat, “I’m so glad he told you that and not about how hungover we’ve been in there.”_

_“Oh, he said he could fill us in on some highs and some lows, but that Toni was the type to burn his restaurant down if he pissed her off enough.” Dave added._

_Toni blushed, “I would only burn the restaurant down if he upset Shelby, to be fair.”_

_They all giggled knowing it was true._

_“Not to change the subject entirely,” Shelby said as they finished up, “but what did y’all want to do on your last full day here?”_

Toni leaned back in Shelby’s arms, her breathing finally back to normal. She curled into Shelby’s arms, turning to her side, tucking her face into Shelby’s neck and breathing in the scent of her. 

They sat like that for sometime, holding each other at the base of the tree. Toni coming close to drifting off to sleep. Shelby ran her fingers through Toni’s thick curly waves, humming a song Toni didn’t recognize, but she liked it anyways. She smiled to herself, settling against Shelby’s chest, feeling the rumble of each note, wondering how much old country she would voluntarily listen to if they ever made it off the island. Her favorite playlist before crashing here had consisted of 2pac, Drake, Angel Haze, rappers who could articulate some of the struggles she had felt as an angry little kid and who made her feel less alone. If they ever made it back, she knew she’d have a Shelby playlist full of cheesy country love songs. She hugged her girlfriend even tighter, her heart feeling full at the thought of Shelby making her a list of all of her favorite songs. She almost laughed when she thought about Shelby listening to all of hers. 

“I could stay like this forever,” Toni breathed out into Shelby’s neck. 

Shelby smiled, she felt the same way, she never wanted to spend a day without Toni in her arms. 

_“I can’t get over how much I missed you.” Shelby pressed kisses into Toni’s lps. “I can’t believe you came to Texas.” She laughed out._

_Toni smiled up at her, “I can’t believe it’s been eight months.”_

_Shelby tucked herself into Toni’s shoulder, burying her face into Toni’s neck, inhaling deeply. Toni smelled cleaner than Shelby had ever smelled her, but the scent of Toni was still there. It was comforting like the smell of old books, worn leather, or fresh cut grass on a dewy morning. Shelby tried to keep from crying, overwhelmed with emotions. Toni kissed her forehead gently, knowing exactly how she felt, her own emotions a perfect mirror._

_“Hey, babe?” Toni whispered._

_“Hmm?” Shelby hummed, looking up into Toni’s honey brown eyes._

_Toni blushed, ever so slightly, but Shelby caught it. “Can I take our picture?” Toni bit her bottom lip, “it’s just, we don’t have any pictures together. And a lot of my friends tease me that I made you up.”_

_Shelby laughed, “they think you made me up?”_

_Toni blushed deeper, “yeah, well things aren’t really stacked in my favor, because you look like you. And you’re a literal frickin’ pageant queen,” she said imitating Shelby’s southern drawl, causing the blonde to blush and tuck deeper into Toni’s shoulder. Toni continued, “also, we’re not friends on any social media.” Shelby’s eyes watered, but Toni tucked her finger under Shelby’s chin, holding her gaze, “I get it. I’m not mad. I love you. I just want something tangible.” She laughed, feeling embarrassed, “some ounce of proof. Even for myself.” Her voice was sad, and it broke Shelby’s heart._

_They had been apart for so long and Shelby’s parents had diligently squashed every attempt of Shelby’s to keep in contact with anyone from the island. Anyone who could potentially help Shelby stay in touch with Toni. The only thing they had were the letters Toni sent to Shelby’s therapist every day, but Shelby couldn’t even keep the letters. If her parents found even one, they would petition the courts to assign Shelby a new therapist and Dr. Lee was the only person in Shelby’s life fighting for her. So she never dared. All the letters lived in a decorative box on Dr. Lee’s massive bookcase._

_Her parents made sure that she didn’t take anything in with her to her therapist's appointment, so she hadn’t been able to send any back. One time, Toni’s letter had sounded really desperate, Shelby had literally begged Dr. Lee to let her spend her appointment time writing a response. Dr. Lee had agreed, but said she didn’t want that to become the norm. They had more important things to conquer than letter writing. But then, Dr. Lee had also mailed her letter out that evening first class priority mail without Shelby even asking her to because Dr. Lee was genuinely rooting for the two young girls in love._

_Toni’s next letter had been so much more at ease, even joking about how perfect Shelby’s handwriting was and how that didn’t surprise her one bit. She had sent Shelby a photo of herself hugging the letter. The back of the photo read: Me with you, circa 2021. #photocredMarty_

_Shelby had memorized every inch of it. The trundle bed Toni sat on, the fact that her hair was wet in the photo like she had just gotten out of the shower, the pyjamas she had on, the fact that they were Batman themed like a little kid would wear. The fact that her sheets were light blue, the stack of books beside her, she tried desperately to read the titles, wanting anything to connect her to Toni._

_The photo, she had dared to take home, stuffing it in her bra when Dr. Lee wasn’t looking, putting the rest of the letter in her box on the shelf. When she got home, she tucked into her bible on her bedside table sending up a silent prayer that it never be found. Shelby nodded to Toni, “Of course, Love. We can take a thousand photos. Just promise me you’ll save them all so I can have them too one day.”_

_Toni smiled the happiest smile Shelby had ever seen. “Deal.” She wiggled out of bed, smirking at Shelby when she caught Shelby’s green eyes roaming over her naked body. She dramatically leaned forward to pick up her jeans, giving Shelby quite a show of her backside._

_“Should we put shirts on, or something?” Shelby asked as Toni returned with her phone._

_Toni tilted her head to the side, “why would we do that?” She chuckled, “we’ll just pull the sheets up. I’m not asking you for nudey pics, Goodkind.”_

_Shelby snorted out a laugh, “that’s fair.”_

_“Plus, it’s kind of on brand for us.”_

_Shelby blushed, knowing full well that she and Toni had probably spent more time naked around each other than clothed. “You’re an idiot Toni Shalifoe.”_

_Toni chuckled again, “yes… but I’m YOUR idiot.”_

_Shelby blushed, pulling back the covers for Toni to crawl back into bed. “Yes, yes you are.”_

_Toni kissed her gently before getting tangled up with her in a way that would allow her to hold her phone. The first photo they ever took together was of them smiling so big, their eyes were almost closed. The second was of Toni kissing Shelby on the cheek, the third was of Shelby kissing her cheek back, and the fourth was just of them kissing._

_Shelby hummed when they broke apart. “I can’t wait for the day that I can have copies of these and print them out in black and white and have them framed in our own place.”_

_Toni grinned at her, “I love the sound of that.” Toni pressed a quick kiss to Shelby’s lips again, eying the standard hotel digital clock next to their bed. It read 11:59 PM. She pointed at it and they watched as it rolled to midnight. “Happy St. Patrick’s day.” Toni whispered._

_Shelby whacked her arm playfully, “You’re an ass.” She said giggling._

_Toni pressed hundreds of kisses to Shelby’s lips, laughing in between each kiss. Slowly trailing her lips down Shelby’s neck, flushing as Shelby moaned softly at each kiss. “Wait,” Toni said, already out of breath, “I did a thing.” She blushed again, fumbling with her phone until music started playing. She smiled, proud of herself, setting the phone down on the bedside table._

_Shelby’s eyes watered as she recognized Strawberry Wine play through the phone. “Did you make a playlist?”_

_Toni giggled and nodded, “yep, every time I heard a song that made me think of you, I added it. It’s casually, like, five thousand songs long.”_

_Shelby laughed at that, “you’re such a romantic, Shalifoe.”_

_Toni blushed, her lips returning to their path, “don’t go telling people that.”_

_Toni kissed Shelby lower, circling her nipple with her tongue, any response Shelby might have had caught in her throat._

_Toni had missed Shelby and wanted nothing more than to worship every inch of her body. She sucked Shelby’s hardened nipple into her mouth, gently rolling it between her teeth. She ground her hips down into Shelby’s. “Fuck,” Shelby whispered, already breathless._

_Toni kissed lower, nipping at Shelby’s ribs and at her hips. Shelby’s legs fell apart, sending their own prayer up that Toni would take the hint. Toni kissed down one of Shelby’s thighs and back up the other, clocking every gasp and every twitch of Shelby around her._

_“Sweetie, please?” Shelby moaned out, her voice sounding strained._

_Toni nodded, sliding her tongue through Shelby’s dripping folds. Neither knew who had moaned louder. The salty sweet taste of Shelby that Toni missed so much on her tongue for the first time in months made her dizzy. She couldn’t get enough. Her tongue drifted lower, lapping the taste up from the source, sinking her tongue into Shelby, as deep as it would go._

_Shelby’s fingers weaved through Toni’s hair, holding her to her, moaning with each stroke of Toni’s tongue. Toni slipped two fingers deep inside of Shelby, the feeling of Shelby finally surrounding her again, making her heart stop beating altogether. Their rhythm was frenzied, desperate, harder and deeper, just like Shelby liked it. She gripped the sheets and cried out in pleasure into the hotel room, feeling herself come completely undone around Toni’s fingers, forcing herself to keep from squeezing Toni’s head too tightly with her thighs._

_Toni kissed her way back up Shelby’s body, leaving her fingers inside her, still feeling the aftershocks of Shelby’s orgasm pulsing through her. Shelby melted into Toni’s lips, her tongue searching Toni’s mouth her whole body fluttering again at the taste of herself on Toni’s lips. “Happy birthday, love.” Toni whispered into her kiss._

“Shelby? Toni?” They heard Fatin’s voice in the distance. 

“What the actual fuck.” Toni whispered, “I’m gonna hit her.” 

“Toni!” Fatin was yelling now. 

“What?” Shelby yelled back. 

“Please be wearing clothes.” Fatin yelled back, stumbling into view, her hands covering her eyes. 

“Fatin what the actual fuck?” Toni huffed, getting to her feet, her fist clenched tightly. 

“Sorry, sorry. I know, trust me. I know.” She didn’t take her hand down from her face. “It’s just we need Shelby back at the camp. Nora and Rachel, they went off into the woods and they managed to kill another goat.” 

“You can put your hand down.” Toni grumbled, reaching down to pull Shelby up onto her back. 

Fatin cringed, “I’m sorry. I know I give you guys shit, but I would never, you know, fuck with with your bliss.” 

Toni nodded, bouncing Shelby up on her hips. “I know, dude. Food is probably more important than Shelby getting off.” 

Shelby whacked Toni’s arm playfully, “Good Lord, why?” 

Toni and Fatin both laughed, “because it’s adorable when you get flustered, and Fatin clearly feels too guilty to make the joke.” 

Shelby grumbled, but tightened her grip around Toni, “y’all are both the worst.” She kissed Toni on the cheek anyways, her heart too full of love to mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading and commenting. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love how the internet can bring people together all over the world. Massive shout out to some new rad friends I've made through this. Y'all feel free to hit me up on Tumblr, I'm always down to chat or obsess over something. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/theycallmequeerhat
> 
> Let me know what y'all think and keep slinging ideas! I'm pretty pumped to be working towards adding them in. And in all honesty, they're helping to give me some direction with this story.
> 
> Cheers to a fresh week,  
> Em


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy a double chapter because I wrote the first half and realized there was no smut. I couldn't do that to you lovely humans. 
> 
> We'll give T'Challa Fitzgerald, my youngest fur son, credit for this one. He didn't do anything to deserve it, but he's the baby :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!  
> Em

Toni sat with her back up against Shelby’s, not wanting to watch her dismantle a goat, but not wanting to be away from her either. Toni had already used some of Shelby’s goat cleaning time to go gather firewood for the camp, but with their new location being in the woods, that was less of a necessity and more just being kind to whoever was in charge of watching the fire.

Fatin sat next to Toni, not wanting to watch Shelby or the goat either. “Come on guys, it’s me.” She whined, “seriously, I’m so bored here. Give me something. Let’s play an icebreaker. Shelby? Huh? You love those.” 

Shelby laughed, not giving Fatin an answer. 

Fatin groaned, “okay, well, I’m going to start playing never have I ever and you can join me. Never have I ever had sex with a woman.” 

Shelby looked back over her shoulder, “really? That kind of surprises me.” 

Toni nodded, “me too.” 

Fatin scoffed, “I told you, rowdiest dick I can find.” 

Toni laughed, “ew.” She said feeling Shelby nod in agreement behind her. 

“Ugh, now you go.” Fatin said animatedly gesturing. 

Toni rolled her eyes, “fine. Never have I ever been in a relationship for longer than three months.” 

“Who’s side are you on?” Shelby called over her shoulder, knowing she was the only one out of the three who had, getting both Toni and Fatin to laugh. 

Fatin laughed, daring a look in Shelby’s direction, “why do you like these games so much if you don’t really want to play them?” 

Shelby groaned, “I never wanted to play never have I ever, I just wanted for us to all get to know each other. God forbid, I wanted to make some friends who weren’t Jesus people with sticks up their asses.” She sighed again, “plus Goodkind's like games.” 

_The Goodkind's and Toni walked through the Minneapolis Institute of Art. Shelby loved this kind of thing, Toni thought with a smile. Loving how Shelby’s eyes would light up at all of the new exhibits. It had been about six months since the last time there were here and most of the displays had changed. Toni thought the museum was cool, but her favorite part was always watching how excited cultural things made Shelby._

_Toni stuffed her hands deep into her jeans, she wanted to hold Shelby’s hand, but they hadn’t really expected to go out and do anything while her parents were there, given how insanely cold it was and how not prepared they expected the Goodkind's to be. They hadn’t even talked about how they’d behave in a social or public setting. Toni went the conservative route. Shelby on the other hand, as per usual in a museum, was too excited and looped her arm through Toni’s. Toni knew she radiated calm to Shelby’s levels of excitement in the same way that Shelby calmed her rage. It didn’t surprise Toni at all that Shelby’s arm snaked through her own. She even chuckled when Shelby did it._

_Toni did look for her parent’s reactions though, she could tell Dave had stiffened, but Jobeth hadn’t seemed to have noticed. Toni made a mental note to keep conscious of it._

_Shelby tugged on Toni’s arm, excitedly dragging her off to look at a statue. Sculptures were Shelby’s favorites. She was fascinated by them, all types of them, even super old pottery._

_Shelby wrapped herself around Toni’s waist, standing behind her marveling at some statue of a man standing nude with his hands on his hips. Shelby put her chin on Toni’s shoulder as she stared, “isn’t it amazing?” She asked._

_Toni chuckled, “below average, I’d think.”_

_“Every time, really. Alway a dick joke with you.” Shelby said with a giggle into Toni’s ear._

_Her breath on Toni’s neck made Toni blush, in turn making the whole ordeal seem a lot more intimate than it was. Toni felt herself stiffen under Shelby._

_“Is something wrong, Sweetie?” Shelby asked, her hands on her hips turning Toni so that they were face to face._

_“I just don’t want to stress your dad out.” Toni said, stepping out of Shelby’s bubble._

_Shelby frowned, looping her arm back through Toni’s. “Sweetie, I think we’re fine. Y’all bonded. He likes you.”_

_“We weren’t in a museum.” Toni said, nodding towards Dave who was very pointedly starring at anything but them._

_“What the fuck?” Shelby whispered, “he was doing so good.”_

_“At home.” Toni reminded her with a soft smile. “He’s come a long way from the guy who ripped you away from me all those years ago, it’s okay if you want to cut him some slack here. Public places are very different from our house. You used to struggle with that. Remember?”_

_Shelby blushed, it had been so long ago, but public spaces had set her on edge occasionally for a while. She didn’t even notice if people noticed them now, but she was very aware of it at first. She sighed, “Okay, I’ll cool off a bit. Can I hold your hand?”_

_Toni smiled, this was a first for them, five years into their relationship that it was Toni’s comfort level they were working around. She smiled up at Shelby, loving how tall she was in her heeled boots. “Yes, babe.” She pulled her hand out of her pocket and slipped it into Shelby’s._

_Shelby led Toni through the sculptures, pointing out her favorites, lost for a while at the way one of the women’s gowns looked like actual fabric on another. Jobeth joined them at that one. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?” She asked, her eyes sparkling the same way Shelby’s did._

_Toni laughed, Shelby had just said the same thing. It made Toni wonder if she had stuff in common like this with her parents that she just didn’t know about. Some weird similar interests or tates. She smiled fondly at Shelby and her mom, thankful to at least get to witness it in them. Shelby and her mom chatted excitedly as they walked along the statues, gushing over this one or that one for all different reasons. Shelby squeezing Toni’s hand in excitement from time to time._

_While they walked, Toni decided for their next anniversary she would get them sculpture lessons. She’d keep it a surprise, of course, Shelby loved that kind of thing, and Toni had gotten much better at it over the years. She also had learned to execute her plans way earlier than expected, so even though their anniversary isn’t until late June, (they had never figured out the exact date, so they had settled on June 23rd), she would find one next week and get it booked if possible. It made it easier for her to be a vault when Shelby started prying and trying to get her to tell her._

_At around four-forty-five, Dave came to collect them, “hey, girls.” He never looked at Toni and Shelby’s hands, their fingers intertwined, he pointedly ignored it. Shelby and Jobeth missed it, but Toni didn’t. She didn’t say anything though and she didn’t let go, she just observed. “Y’all want to start heading out? They close at five and I’m getting a bit hungry.”_

_Toni nodded quickly, her attention span was too short to spend all day in a museum. She was good to go hours ago, but she would never have said that to Shelby. She would walk through every museum in the world all day every day for the rest of her life if that meant she got to spend the day with Shelby._

_Shelby giggled at Toni’s quick nod and pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek. “Thank you for being such a good sport, love.” She said softly, just to Toni, but Toni knew her parents heard it and saw the kiss. She blushed and bit her bottom lip, not daring to look at Dave._

_He cleared his throat. “Right, so dinner?” He said, his voice a bit rougher._

_Jobeth must have finally caught on to his tenseness because she was suddenly on team Dave for getting out of there. “Yes, absolutely, honey. Let’s try that pub Tom recommended.”_

_“Flannery’s?” Toni and Shelby said in unison._

_Jobeth smiled, leading the way back to the coat check at the museum. “Yeah, he said they always have fun games, trivia and such. Goodkind's love games.”_

_Toni’s eyes widened, filling with glee, “holy shit.” She said, almost skipping._

_Shelby blushed, “don’t.” She started, giving Toni a semi-serious glare._

_Jobeth lit up, “don’t what? Is it a fun Shelby story?”_

_Toni laughed, not knowing if she should tell them about how Shelby would alway get the girls on the island to play icebreakers to get to know each other and how they had all seriously debated nicknaming her Camp Counselor Goodkind, or if she should heed Shelby’s warning. Toni bit her lip, eying Shelby. Waiting._

_“Ugh, fine. If you must.” Shelby said defeated, worn down by Toni’s patience._

_“Okay, so when Shelby and I first met, on the plane headed to ‘Hawaii,’ she suggested some icebreakers for everyone to play.” Toni said._

_Jobeth and Dave shrugged, “okay? Is that bad?”_

_Toni laughed, “No, not until Jeanette died the first day we were there from internal bleeding and we had to bury her by hand on the shore and then after we were all sitting around the fire and guess what Shelby suggested?”_

_Shelby sighed, “I even said then that it was bad timing, but we needed a distraction.”_

_“But then, when Jeanette’s luggage washed up on the beach and we-- well you didn’t actually ever eat any of the weed bears, did you? You just got hammered on the vodka.”_

_Dave cleared his throat, uncomfortable at the nature of the story. Toni blushed remembering that they had never heard much about the island._

_“Right, sorry. The point was just that she kept suggesting icebreakers and games and we all still to this day give her shit for it. But one time, after Rachel and Nora killed a goat, Fatin and I started playing a game near her that she didn’t want to play, but she reluctantly participated because….”_

_“Goodkind's like games.” Shelby groaned._

_Toni blushed knowing her story had fallen flat. “Sorry, it just made me think of something from like five years ago.”_

_Dave visibly rolled his shoulders back, trying to relax. “No, it’s good. I’m sure it’s good for you both to talk about your time there.”_

_Jobeth patted him on the back, he had come a long way, they needed to all remember to celebrate even his littlest wins. “On to Flannery’s!” She said excitedly._

_Toni bit her bottom lip, “So, just as a warning, Flannery’s can get a little rowdy on Friday's and Saturdayss. We should be fine going this early, but we should probably try to be out of there before nine-thirty.”_

_Jobeth looked even more excited, “rowdy how?” She asked as they all climbed in to Shelby’s Bronco._

_Shelby laughed, “a lot of drinking, and a lot less eating and the games they play get..” She cleared her throat, “risque.”_

_“But we should be fine at this hour?” Dave looked visibly nervous._

_Toni nodded, “yeah, they’re family friendly until nine. I think that’s every day of the week, right babe?”_

_Jobeth waved her hand, “we’ll be fine, we’re all adults.”_

_They slid into a four person booth in a back corner of the dimly lit grimy little pub pool hall that was Flannery’s. Toni tucked into a corner and Shelby slid in next to her, placing a calming hand on Toni’s knee. Toni had seen exactly zero children as she walked through the restaurant. She hoped like hell the game tonight was just straight up trivia._

_Dave slid in across from Toni, picking up his menu. Toni eyed Shelby, they always got the same things, but she wasn’t about to order around of drinks without getting Shelby’s approval first. Shelby shrugged, “hey, before the waiter comes, do y’all want to split a pitcher of margaritas? They’re really good here.”_

_Jobeth grinned, “absolutely.”_

“Do you know any other games? Or does your family just sit around playing icebreakers, trying to get to know each other even better?” Fatin asked. 

Toni tried to hold back her laugh, but Shelby could feel her muffled shaking against her back. “I swear to the good lord, Toni Shalifoe, if you don’t quit laughing at that, I will put goat blood on you.” 

“Weird kink, Goodkind.” Fatin teased. 

Toni lost it. She couldn’t help it. Thankfully even Shelby cracked at that one and she joined them in their laughter. 

“For the record,” Shelby said finally, “we’re really into board games.” 

Toni grinned, happy to learn something new about Shelby. “What’s your favorite?” 

Shelby thought about it for a while, “Clue.” She said finally. 

“I’m a little surprised you family let you play a game about a murder.” Toni said, her voice sweet, not teasing or accusatory, just genuine. 

Shelby cracked up at that, “we had the Scooby Doo version. You have to figure out who gets abducted, there is no murder.” 

All three of them lost it again at that. 

_Their food was just arriving as the MC stepped up onto the stage. He was a tall, skinny man with a fantastic beard. “Hello, hello,” he said into the microphone. “Welcome to Flannery’s!”_

_Some people in the audience clapped for him, Shelby and Jobeth included._

_“Thank you, we’re going to have some fun tonight. I have here, a wheel of games. I’m going to spin the wheel, whatever it lands on is what game we’ll play. Sound good?”_

_More of the audience hooted for him this time._

_“Perfect, here we go.” He spun the wheel in front of him._

_Toni chanted, “just be trivia,” in her head so loudly she wondered if anyone at her table could read her thoughts._

_“And we are playing the newlywed game.”_

_“Fuck.” Toni said, that time not in her head._

_“But naturally, we’re playing with a twist. Let me come over to….” The MC’s eyes locked on their table._

_“Fuuuuck.” Toni whispered._

_“This table right here.” He said, standing in front of their table, microphone in hand. “Your table, what are all of you to each other,” he asked Shelby, holding the microphone up for her to speak into._

_Shelby beamed a proud smile, “these are my parents and this is my fiancee.” She gestured around the table._

_“Parents and fiancee.” The MC repeated, his words faltering a little._

_The largest round of applause yet was heard through the bar. Dave and Jobeth both blushed. Shelby nodded, the applause bringing her signature pageantry smile out of retirement. “Absolutely, parents are here visiting us from Texas.” The crowd applauded again._

_Toni eyed Dave, tense under the spotlight. Shelby shinned in it, she could tell Jobeth did as well, she wondered if Jobeth once did pageants as well. But that thought was fleeting as the MC pressed farther._

_“God, I would love it if my parents came out to visit me and my partner. Let’s give this table another pitcher on me just because I love them already.”_

_Dave tensed farther, his guilt apparent on his face, knowing full well their communication with Shelby is recent and still on very shaky ground. But the MC was right, and Dave should give himself credit for that. They did come to visit._

_“Tell me more about you, sis. Let’s see that ring?” The MC was living for this now._

_Shelby showed off the ring Toni had gotten her. It was classic, intricate, expensive, everything she deserved._

_The MC looked around Shelby at Toni, “Okay, and what do you do?”_

_Toni blushed, clearing her throat, she was not one for microphones, “I’m an electrician.”_

_“Well damn, hun. Now you got everyone in here trying to find electricians who look like you and who pick out jewelry like this. Damn girl, setting the bar way too high.”_

_Toni blushed again, not having any words to respond with._

_The MC picked up on it and moved on to Shelby’s parents, “and a little about you?”_

_Dave looked even more uncomfortable than Toni, but thankfully Jobeth was there to take the lead, “I’m an elementary school teacher and my husband, Dave is a pastor and owns a gym called All Rise Cycling.”_

_The MC looked like he was about to fall over. “But you’re HERE, in Minnesota, eating dinner with your daughter and her female fiancee?”_

_Shelby grinned, knowing all too well what a big deal it was. “They sure are,” she supplied, a real smile eclipsing the fake._

_“Well holy shit. Nothing is topping that.” He said and the packed bar all clapped again. “Let me get to our twist.” He cackled, “I love it even more now.” He held up little dollar store whiteboards and dry erase markers. “Each table is going to get these. I’m going to ask a question, an example, ‘what’s your partner’s favorite color?’ You’re going to guess what your partner’s favorite color is. That’s the traditional newlywed game, right?” The audience all murmured in agreement._

_“Tonight’s twist. You don’t get to be partnered with your partner. So here at this table, it’s mom and daughter versus dad and fiancee. And as it’s a Friday night and there are no kids in this joint, we’re skipping straight to the unrated version.”_

_“Fuuuuuuuck me.” Toni whispered. Shelby rested her hand on Toni’s thigh, giving her a comforting squeeze._

_“Boards are being passed out now.” The MC turned his microphone off, while wait staff passed out whiteboards. He turned back to the table, “seriously, thank you all for coming. Y’all give me hope that my family could come around one day.” He shook everyone's hand at the table before heading back to the little stage in the front._

_Dave cleared the lump out of his throat eying Toni nervously, “just in case, what is your favorite color?”_

_Toni laughed, knowing full well that wasn’t going to be the nature of an adult version of this game, “green.” The color of Shelby’s eyes to be exact, but she wasn’t about to be that extra. “Yours?”_

_“Blue.” Dave said, he was still pale from the interaction with the MC. “We’re really…”_

_“Fucked?” Toni supplied for him. He let out a laugh and nodded. “Incredibly,” Toni added._

_“Alright, alright, alright,” The MC said, mimicking Matthew McConaughey. “We’re going to start off easy,” he read a question off a card, “when and where was your first kiss? Remember, alternate partner style, so momma bear,” he shot a look at Jobeth, “you’re answering for your daughter and her sexy little fiancee over there. And sis, you’re answering about your parents.” He cackled, full blown evil cackle._

_Dave sighed heavily, grumpily eating a french fry before writing on his white board._

_Toni wanted to slam her face into the table just to knock herself out. She wrote: During College at Baylor._

_“Alrighty,” The MC called out, “show ‘em!”_

_Dave and Toni flipped their boards around at the same time as Jobeth and Shelby did. Everyone at the table was correct._

_“Dang, Sweetie,” Shelby said smiling at Toni, “How’d you know that?”_

_Toni cleared her throat, “you told me they met in college and that they went to Baylor. It was an educated guess.”_

_Shelby pressed a quick kiss to her temple. Dave quickly wiped his answer away._

_Jobeth and Shelby marked their scores down on the little score tally sheet the waiters had passed out. Of course this was a competition and of course Shelby and Jobeth would take it seriously._

_“Next question, who initiated the first kiss?”_

_Shelby tensed ever so slightly next to Toni in the booth, Dave looked pained, but scribbled furiously on his white board. Toni wrote: My man Dave made the move. Trying her best to keep it light._

_“Flip ‘em!”_

_Dave had guessed Toni. Toni shook her head no. Jobeth laughed hysterically at that, the effects of the margaritas already getting to her. Dave finally chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “I guess that shouldn’t surprise me.”_

_Shelby hid her face in her hands, “this was a horrible idea.”_

_“Both of you are wrong,” Jobeth said pointing at Toni and Shelby’s boards. “I kissed him.”_

_“Something you get from your momma,” Dave teased Shelby._

_“Oh my Lord, we can go whenever you’re done, love.” She said gesturing to Toni’s unfinished burger._

_Even Toni was laughing now, “hell no. I’m learning all sorts of things.”_

_They tallied their scores, the only person to get that question correct was Jobeth._

_“How about this one,” The MC prefaced, “who said I love you first?”_

_Toni wrote Dave’s name again, thinking he would have made a big deal out of it. He seemed like the type of guy to put some effort into it. The whole table got that round correct. Jobeth and Dave both guessed Shelby, and Shelby and Toni both guessed Dave. “What’s the story?” Toni asked, cringing when she realized they might ask her the same thing back._

_Jobeth beamed, “it was very romantic, we were out at that little fancy--well we thought it was fancy at the time-- Italian restaurant. There was candle light and Italian music playing in the background. He looked so nervous, he kept clearing his throat.” She kissed his cheek, happy at the memory._

_“And you?”_

_Toni’s mind flashed back to Shelby whispering I love you as Toni orgasmed. Toni blushed._

_Shelby answered before she could come up with anything, “I actually first said it when she was asleep.” She laughed, “I don’t know if you even knew that.” Toni’s eyes widened, she shook her head no. Shelby continued, laughing at herself, “yep. You had fallen asleep. We were on the beach.” Shelby blushed at the admission. “I told you to your face the next day, under that tree.”_

_“Last question for the first round,” The MC said over the microphone, “when was the last time they had sex? I can’t wait to come look at my favorite table after this one.”_

_Jobeth found the question hilarious. Toni could feel Dave’s eyes boring into her soul. Toni wrote: last week? Question mark and all._

_“Oh this is too good.” The MC exclaimed walking over to stand at the edge of the table. “And flip,” he said._

_Shelby had written: fourteen years ago (Melody)._

_Jobeth ahd written: this morning_

_Dave had written: Never. They’re not married yet._

_Shelby eyed Toni’s answer, “Last week, those are my parents.”_

_Jobeth laughed even harder._

_“This morning?” Dave practically yelled, his eyes flashing to Toni. Thinking about that morning when he took Jobeth to get them all breakfast and told Shelby to go make Toni feel better._

_“Honey what did you think they were doing?” Jobeth could barely speak; she was laughing so hard._

_“Well... not that.” Dave said, looking like he was going to be sick._

_“So I take it, Toni and I are the only ones to get points for this round?” Jobeth said adding tally marks to their score pad._

_Shelby looked as sick as her dad. “Last week? Oh this is the worst. Do they make bleach for your brain?”_

_The MC was howling. “And this is why I love what I do, folks.”_

Fatin gave up trying to get anything else out of them through never have I ever and went off to find Leah. Something about wanting to make sure her favorite crazy person wasn’t doing anything too crazy. 

“Do you ever think that Leah might be right?” Shelby asked suddenly. 

Toni turned to look at her, “are you admitting you’re a secret operative?” 

Shelby laughed, “no, I’m just saying,” she kept her voice low, “sometimes some of this stuff is a little weird. We’ve gone a day without meat and another goat appears?” 

Toni frowned, “but like, why?” Her question was genuine, “I mean, yeah, that’s weird. Everything in Jeanette’s bag was fucking weird. The pilot’s personal medicine cabinet was really fucking weird, but like…. Maybe that’s why we crashed? Like, maybe he was hopped up on a weird combination of that shit? And maybe Jeanette just really wanted to make friends in the worst kind of way, you know? But also, why? And who?” Toni shrugged, “I just can’t see any organization willing to take on the liability. Nine teenage girls, one of them already dead?” 

“I know, I know. I just... some of it is really fucking weird.” Shelby continued her work with the goat. “For instance, these goats don’t seem wild. They’re not territorial at all. Marty beat hers with a rock, it had no instinct to fight her? Like it felt safe around her? That’s a domesticated trait. Have you seen videos of goats ramming shit? Marty should never have been able to repeatedly hit a goat with a rock. I mean, right?” 

Toni bit her bottom lip, “I don’t know, Shelby. I genuinely have never looked into goats. Plus Marty just has this thing with animals, like a modern day Pocahontas.” 

“And Rachel and Nora?” 

Toni looked at her, “I have no idea, I just can’t find any logic to support her claims. Other than your point of shit being weird. Like you’re not wrong. And I know nothing about goats, but I just can’t come up with anything that would support her theories either.” 

Shelby nodded, not wanting Toni to think she had gone crazy, too. “I know, love. I’m just saying. I get where she’s coming from. I’m glad Fatin is keeping an eye on her.” 

Toni nodded, “same.” She laughed, “I kind of hope they fuck.” 

Shelby spun around, “What? Do you know something I don’t know?” 

Toni laughed, “no, but like, Leah needs to get over that hella creepy pervy dude she's hung up on and Fatin needs to get laid.” 

Shelby spun back to the goat, “I was kind of hoping Fatin would sleep with Dot.” 

“I’ll bet you a strip of goat jerky, she sleeps with Leah.” 

Shelby laughed, “deal, my goat strip is on Dot.” 

_“Can I give you your birthday gift now?” Toni asked._

_Shelby was still out of breath from orgasming. She chuckled, “Sure? Is Marty going to mind?”_

_Toni shook her head no, “no, she knows what it is already.”_

_Shelby blushed, she hadn’t really thought that Toni would have gotten her a birthday gift. She thought her coming down here was the gift. “Well then, yes. I will happily open my birthday present.”_

_Toni kissed her quickly and got up. She rummaged through her duffle bag producing two square packages wrapped in yellow paper, complete with two now squished yellow bows. She crawled back into bed, dramatically rolling over Shelby, making a bigger deal out of it because her hands were full._

_“These are for you.” She said happily._

_“Love, you know you didn’t have to, right? Like you came all the way down here for me.” Shelby’s eyes watered. Her parents hadn’t acknowledged her birthday for the first time ever and it was her eighteenth. They hadn’t wished her a good week with her friends, they hadn’t really said anything to her. Not even drive safely. So the fact that Toni had gone out of her way to make it even more special was incredibly touching._

_“I know.” Toni said, kissing her cheek, sensing her emotions, “but I love you and I thought you’d really like this.” She handed Shelby the slightly bigger box. “This one first.”_

_Shelby laughed, her heart pounding. She ripped off the wrapping paper, revealing a colorful box. Her eyes widened, “is this really what it is?” She squeaked excitedly._

_Toni laughed and nodded._

_“You got me a polaroid camera?” Shelby tackled Toni back onto the bed in a big hug._

_Toni giggled. “Yeah, I thought you might like it for this week.” She laughed when Shelby captured her mouth with her own. “Babe,” she pulled away, still laughing, “open the rest?”_

_Shelby ripped into the other present, opening the cardboard box inside to reveal a bunch of boxes of films of all types. “Holy shit, love! I can take so many pictures this week.” Her heart dipped, realizing she wouldn’t be able to keep any of them._

_Toni caught it, “wait, wait, look in the box. There’s a little photo album. And you can fill it and I’ll just hold on to it for you for safe keeping. You can have it back in what? Like six months? As soon as the trial is over and we graduate high school and you move up and we live together, you get them all back then.” Toni beamed at her, clearly having anticipated Shelby’s frustration._

_“I love you.” Shelby said pressing countless kisses into Toni’s lips._

_Toni giggled, “I love you, too.”_

_“Can I take a picture of you now, please?” Shelby asked, tearing into the boxes and pulling her camera out flipping through the different options for film, finding a box that had black and white film. She tore open the film packaging with her teeth. Toni watched her, blushing when Shelby caught her staring. “What?” Shelby asked, raising an eyebrow._

_Toni shrugged, “everything you do is attractive to me. I want to be a film wrapper right now.” She gestured at the ripped packaging that had dropped in Shelby’s lap._

_Shelby laughed at that, “you want me to tear into you with my teeth?” Her voice had an edge to it that Toni hadn’t heard in months. “Or you want to be in my lap?”_

_Toni swallowed audibly, “both?”_

_Shelby smiled a seductive smile, “can I take your picture first?”_

_Toni grinned at her, “before and after shots?”_

_Shelby laughed, “yeah.”_

_Toni shrugged, “how do you want me?”_

_Shelby posed her, having her scoot back against the headboard, holding the white sheets and comforter up in front of her chest, clutched to her with one hand. Shelby ran her fingers through Toni’s hair, arranging her sex mussed waves just how she wanted them. “Perfect.” Shelby said, her eyes taking all of Toni in, smiling as she said it._

_The way Shelby was looking at her made Toni blush and smile a shy smile._

_“I’m not ready and you’re already making the perfect face.” Shelby laughed, rushing to get the film in the slot, “freeze, Shalifoe.”_

_Toni laughed, and was greeted with a Shelby glare. “Oops.” She said, biting her bottom lip while she waited, trying to keep from giggling. When Shelby was ready and held the camera up to her face, Toni blushed again, made nervous by how a beauty queen wanted photos of her._

_“Do I have to say cheese?” Shelby asked._

_Toni huffed out a laugh, looking up at Shelby, a small smile hitting her eyes when she saw how her girlfriend was looking at her. Shelby snapped the picture. She set the undeveloped photo face down on the bedside table and placed the camera next to it. Turning her attention back to Toni, still clutching the comforter to her chest._

_Shelby smiled at her, “thank you.” She kissed Toni then, with all the force of having missed her for eight months._

_Toni wasn’t exactly sure why Shelby was thanking her, but she dropped the comforter, her hands weaving through Shelby’s short hair, gasping when Shelby’s fingers brushed over her nipples. Shelby’s teeth sank into her neck, her arms pulling Toni up into her lap._

_“Like this?” Shelby whispers, her tongue soothing over the point she had just bitten._

_Toni whimpered, leaning her head to the side to give Shelby more room._

_Shelby bit lower, over Toni’s pulse point._

_“Yes.” Toni whispered, breathless._

_Shelby bit lower still, at the base of Toni’s neck, moaning when Toni’s hips rocked into her, her legs wrapping tightly around Shelby’s waist._

_Toni leaned back, her upper body supported mainly by the headboard, her legs keeping her locked in place around Shelby._

_Shelby sucked Toni’s nipples into her mouth, harder than she’s ever sucked, knowing it was exactly what Toni had wanted when she leaned back. Her hands hungrily explored Toni’s body, gripping her thighs, pulling her tighter to her still. She let her nails rake down Toni’s abs, knowing that would drive her crazy, reveling in Toni’s erratic breathing._

_Toni gripped the sheets tightly. “Fuck,” she moaned, her whole body rolling into Shelby’s._

_Shelby kissed back up her neck, her palm flat against Toni’s abdomen, waiting. “Sweetie,” she whispered, in Toni’s ear, sucking on her earlobe while she was there, learning immediately that Toni liked that._

_Toni moaned in response._

_Shelby chuckled, “I can’t do anything to help you here.” She said, trying to slide her hand lower, but Toni was wrapped too tightly to her waist._

_Toni looked down in between them and let out a laugh, loosening the death grip her thighs had clutched around Shelby’s waist, backing up in her lap to give her some room. “Sorry.” Toni blushed._

_Shelby shook her head no, “don’t be. I missed this, I missed making you feel good.” She said it as she slid her fingers lower, coating them with Toni’s juices, tracing back up around her clit._

_“I missed this, too. I missed all of you.” Toni said, trying to keep her voice even._

_Shelby pulled her in for a gentle kiss, dipping her fingers deep into her as she did. Toni rolled into Shelby’s hand, desperate for more, deepening their kiss instantly._

_Shelby added a third finger, her delighted moan mirroring Toni’s. Shelby pumped in and out of her, losing herself to the sounds of Toni’s moans and breathless words that slipped from her lips, the sound of her fingers pushing into her, the sound of her own panting. Toni’s hips started shaking, she pulled Shelby’s face to her own, needing to feel her lips against her mouth. Shelby felt Toni’s whole body tighten around her in waves. Shelby held Toni tightly with her free arm, slowing the fingers inside her as Toni slowed the movement of her hips._

_When Toni came to a complete stop, Shelby pulled her fingers out of her gently, sucking them clean. Toni rested her forehead against Shelby’s trying to catch her breath. “I love you,” Toni whispered._

_“I love you, too.” Shelby said, her heart pounding at how much emotion was filling Toni’s voice. “Is everything, okay?”_

_Toni nodded, her eyes finding Shelby’s. “I’m just so thankful I’m here. It’s been a long eight months.” She chuckled sadly, kissing Shelby, moaning at the taste of herself on her lips._

_“I know, love.” Shelby said, “thank you for waiting for me.”_

_Toni nodded, “of course, love. There were days I felt a bit like Leah, worried it was all in my head.”_

_Shelby kissed her again, “Leah ended up being right,” another kiss._

_“I know.” Toni said, “I kept telling myself that.”_

_Shelby pressed countless kisses to her neck. “I’m going to do better at keeping in touch, love. We’ll figure something out.”_

_Toni blushed, “I actually think I have a plan for that.”_

_“Oh?” Shelby asked, “what’s your plan?”_

Toni carried Shelby back into camp. She had taken her to the waterfall to help her clean up after she had carved up the goat. 

“Thank God you got the blood off of your clothes, Shalifoe.” Fatin called out when they made it back. 

Shelby groaned. 

“I was awfully worried when Shelby said she would cover you in blood. Then she actually did it.” Fatin’s eyes got wider, “Then you guys went off together into the woods.” 

Toni laughed, “you’re so dramatic, Shelby needed to clean up. Did you want to give her a piggyback ride all the way to the waterfall?” 

“Hey,” Shelby said, “I don’t just accept piggyback rides from anyone.” 

Toni laughed again, breathing an exaggerated sigh of relief. “You heard her Fatin, find your own girl to carry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought? Any thoughts on Shelby and Toni's bet? 
> 
> Hope your weeks are going as well as mine is!
> 
> Thanks as always for reading!!
> 
> Peace and Love,  
> Em
> 
> This is like my tenth time trying to get this chapter to post... has anyone else struggled with that?


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's day weekend everyone! Stay safe and stay warm. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Thanks for reading,   
> Em

Toni woke up the next morning with a face full of Shelby’s hair. She grumbled lightly in her sleep, her hand moving to sweep Shelby’s hair back down, running her fingers through long blonde hair. Shelby murmured softly, enjoying the feeling, her grip tightening. Toni gasped, Shelby’s hand was stuffed up her shirt, tucked under her sports bra. Her nipple immediately stiffened. Shelby sat upright, pulling her hand out of Toni’s top, blushing as red as Toni’s tank top. Toni’s eyes blinked open in confusion. “Where’d you go?” Her voice was sleepy, cranky, she was the cutest in the morning.

Shelby looked guilty, “I’m really sorry, sweetie, I didn’t mean to…” She chuckled, “aggressively feel you up without asking.”

Toni chuckled, holding her arms out, indicating that Shelby should curl back up on top of her. “I’m happy to sign a blanket consent document. Consent is given unless specifically stated otherwise.”

  
Shelby laughed, laying her head back down on Toni’s chest. “I don’t think it works that way, love.”

Toni hummed, wrapping her arms around Shelby, pulling her tighter to her. “Okay, well, accidental boob squeezes while sleeping are welcome.” She lifted up her shirt so that Shelby would put her hand back where it was.

“This is so nice.” Shelby said after some time of just laying there, her body half on top of Toni.

“Mmmhhmm.” Toni said, her fingers still aimlessly running through Shelby’s hair.

“What’s your favorite holiday?” Shelby asked.

Toni thought about it for a moment, Thanksgiving was out, obviously. Christmas had been fun when her grandmother was alive, but had been awful since then. “The fourth of July.”

Shelby smiled into Toni’s neck, “I didn’t expect you to be Madame Patriot.”

Toni chuckled, “I’m not. I like lighting shit on fire and watching it blow up.”

Shelby laughed, “that sounds about right.”

“What about you?” Toni pressed a kiss to the top of Shelby’s head.

“Christmas.” Shelby said with no hesitation.

“Because Jesus.” Toni said, not judging, just acknowledging.

Shelby giggled, “no.” She blushed, propping herself up to look at Toni, “I like the lights.”

Toni kissed her, learning little details about Shelby made her heart skip. Toni wanted to know everything about her. “Okay, when we get out of here and live together, you can have Christmas lights up in the house wherever you want.”

Shelby kissed her again, “I can’t wait for all of the holidays with you. New years kisses, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Thanksgiving.”

Toni laughed, “I don’t do Thanksgiving.”

Shelby huffed, “that’s my second favorite. You have to.” 

“Easy there, colonizer.”

Shelby pouted, “I’ll do all the work.” She kissed Toni, watching for her eyes to give in to Shelby’s antics, “and cook the whole meal.” She kissed her again. “And do all the decorating.” Another kiss.

Toni grumbled, trying to hold her ground, “Babe.” She let Shelby deepen the kiss, “babe.” She said into Shelby’s mouth. “Your ancestors kind of tried to completely kill off my ancestors. Thanksgiving is a little rough for us.”

“But think about. I am a direct descendant of a passenger on the Mayflower.”

“Of course you fucking are.” Toni said with a laugh.

“And on Thanksgivings, hence forth,” Shelby did a horrible British accent that made Toni giggle. “You, a Native American, can fuck me however you want. For the pride of you people.” Shelby raised an eyebrow.

Toni blushed at the thought, her mind briefly flashing to the thought of all the things she could do to and with Shelby off the island. “Maybe.” She said finally.

Shelby laughed, knowing that she had won the debate.

“I get a pumpkin pie all to myself though.”

Shelby was beaming, “deal.” She pressed another kiss to Toni’s lips. “Thank you.”

Toni chuckled, her fingers returning to Shelby’s hair as she laid back down on top of Toni. “I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s Day.” She said finally.

“It’s cheesy, but it can be really cute.” Shelby said sliding her hand back up Toni’s shirt.

_“Toni! Biiiiitch. How have you been?” Fatin asked, practically shouting into the phone._

_Toni chuckled, “‘sup slut?” Fatin and Toni had stayed pretty close after the island. They texted regularly and kept up on all the most important information in each other's lives._

_“Same old same old. You good? You never call, you just text dump.” Fatin sounded genuinely concerned._

_“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s great actually. I just need some advice on something.” Toni was sitting in her truck in the parking garage of the biggest mall in Minneapolis._

_“Yeah of course, dude. What’s up?”_

_“Valentine’s Day is next weekend.” Toni said flatly._

_Fatin shrieked, “and???”_

_Toni sighed, “and I’ve never done a Valentine’s Day. The first one we had off the island, we were still in high school and we all know how much fun Shelby had that year. I want to make this one special, but like, fuck. Didn’t her ex boyfriend buy her a star or some shit.”_

_Fatin laughed, “okay, yes, but Dot said that he also was sleeping with a bunch of other people, remember? I don’t think some beard Shelby tolerated a few years ago is competition.”_

_“I don’t mean HE is competition, I mean that I’m trying to top a fucking star as a gift though.”_

_“Okay, well, what were you thinking?”_

_Toni blushed, “never speak of this to anyone.”_

_“You know I’ll take your secrets to the grave, Shalifoe.”_

_Toni looked around, afraid that someone she knew might somehow be able to hear her, “what if I got sexy lingerie and like bubble bath shit and did like rose petals everywhere?”_

_Fatin laughed, “sorry, dude. I’m trying to not picture you in lingerie. I think Shelby would really love that. Get some massage oils and shit. Do you have a present as well?”_

_“Yeah, you know the cross necklace she always wears? Well about a month ago, I slipped it off her while she was sleeping and researched it on the internet. I thought it was going to be James Avery or some shit, but it was actually from this boutique jewelry place in Texas, so I ordered her the heart necklace that’s supposed to go with it. And I got her all her favorite chocolates. And I already ordered this fucking ridiculous bouquet of flowers that I just have to go pick up after work that day. Is that okay? Do you think that’s enough?”_

_Fatin laughed, “I think you did great. She’s going to love it. And it’s from you, so it’s full of love.”_

_“I’ve never bought girlie underwear.” Toni said burying her head in her hands from embarrassment. “Obviously, I own women’s underwear, but I prefer boxer briefs, but I’ve never bought like… a lacy anything. I never had the money for it and by the time I did, I was pretty comfy in my boxers.”_

_“Oh my god. Dude, send me sanps. I will totally help you.”_

_Toni groaned, “thanks, Fatin.”_

_“Anytime. Miss you, dude.”_

_“I miss you, too. Reunion soon?” Toni asked, turning her pickup truck off._

_“Fuck yeah, let’s do Ireland for Shelby’s birthday.”_

_“That’s a fantastic idea. I’ll talk to her about that tonight. I’ll tell Marty, too.”_

_“Cool. I’ll tell Dot. She’ll tell everyone else. Later, bitch.” Fatin said._

_“Bye, slut.” Toni said with a laugh and hung up. She tugged the hood of her hoodie up over her head. “Thank fuck for Fatin.” She whispered as she ducked into the mall._

_Toni wasn’t body conscious, she knew she had a nice body and had gotten stronger through her electrician’s apprenticeship, and it wasn’t that she was particularly masculine, but she had never really been a bows and lace sort or girl. She had never actually stepped foot in a Victoria’s Secret. Knowing she was gay at such a young age, she never wanted to make anyone uncomfortable. It was like her locker room fear all over again. She never wanted to be thought of as a predator, and that fear had crept in her mind before. She sighed heavily in the entrance of the store, thankful that not many people were there. She felt incredibly out of place, but had worn tight fitting jeans and one of Shelby’s t-shirts, so she knew she didn’t exactly scream, “I’m a lesbian,” but she definitely wanted to get in and out as quickly as possible._

_She found the section she was looking for, the tops that looked similar to the green one Shelby had surprised her with not that long ago. The kind that used an awful lot of thread to barely cover anything at all. A golden color caught her eye, Toni wasn’t much of a yellow wearer, but she knew it would look good against her tan skin and bring out the golden flecks in her eyes. It didn’t hurt that it was Shelby’s favorite color. She quickly grabbed the small off the rack and moved to the organized display of matching lace underwear._

_Why were there so many options? Thongs, g-strings, boy shorts. She thought back to what Shelby had gotten for her, the thought of the green lace thong filling her mind. She could feel her mouth watering. Yep, thong. Thong was the route to go. She grabbed a small from the neat little row of underwear. She practically sprinted to the cash register._

_“Ohh cute,” the girl behind the register said. “You getting ready to surprise your boyfriend for Valentine’s Day?”_

_Toni swallowed nervously, “nope. Uhhh, girlfriend.”_

_The girl behind the counter giggled, “that’s epic. She’s going to love it.”_

_Toni breathed a sigh of relief, feeling better about her choices and about the fact that she was in there in the first place. “Thanks,” she mumbled, sliding her card into the reader._

_She was thankful she had gotten the hardest part of her shopping trip done at the start. She felt her phone buzz in her back pocket, it was Fatin. “Dude, no snaps? You good in there?” was all the text read._

_Toni chuckled, “Nah, fam. There was only one option I liked so I got it and got the hell out of there.”_

_“Pics or it didn’t happen.”_

_Toni ducked into a bathroom and snapped Fatin pics of the top and bottom._

_“Jesus Christ, Shalifoe. You like loooooove her.” Fatin snapped back immediately._

_“Duh.” Toni responded._

_“She’s going to love it. Just make sure you have it on under your outfit all night without her knowing. Like don’t go change into it. Wear that shit out to dinner.”_

_Toni blushed, the thought of keeping that kind of surprise from Shelby making her a little wet. “Solid tip. What else you got?”_

_Toni went back to shopping then, knowing that Fatin would start blowing up her phone with advice that ranged from useful to ridiculous._

_She stopped at the Lush store on her way out and got massage bars and bath bombs and something called bath milk that smelled good and face masks and something called a body scrub that was in the little spa section. She sent Fatin a snap of it all before she checked out. “Am I missing anything for an at home spa day?”_

_Fatin immediately responded, “no, please watch youtube videos on how to use all that before you ruin it. It looks like she’s in for a weekend worth of pampering. She’s going to love it.”_

_Toni huffed out a laugh. “Cool, thanks.”_

They heard some of the other girls start moving around the camp. “Should we get up?” Shelby asked.

Toni shook her head no. “Can we just lay here for a while?”

Shelby pressed another kiss into her neck. “Of course love, is everything okay?”

Toni nodded, “ yeah, I just really don’t like mornings and I miss coffee and I feel really cozy and don’t want to move.”

Shelby giggled, “Fatin’s going to give us shit for being the last ones up.”

Toni chuckled, “she’s just jealous, love.”

“I know, I’m just not always prepared for her jokes. I’m still trying to work everything through in my head, you know.”

Toni nodded, “do you want to talk about it? You know you can, right?”

Shelby rolled onto her back, her fingers tracing the little cross Toni had made and hung up for her. “It’s just, this feels so right. Like we fit. You know? There’s no question in my mind that we were supposed to meet and that this isn’t wrong. That’s all I can think, this isn’t wrong.”

“Come here.” Toni whispered, pulling Shelby back to her chest. Toni could feel some of her nervous tension fading away. “I’m fully in, love. If we ever get picked up, and if you have to go home and I have to go home, and we’re apart. I’m still yours. All the way.”

Shelby let out a breath neither of them knew she was holding, “I don’t want my family to hurt you?”

Toni snuck a peek at her, “like physically? I know they like hunting.” She teased.

Shelby let out a small laugh, “no, Love. It’s just, my dad. He can be so harsh. He means well, he’s just wrong. He’s just so wrong. And I’ve tried so hard for so long to convince myself that he’s right, but now.” She hugged Toni tightly, “now there’s no way he could ever change my mind.”

Toni smiled, “I’m proud of you, babe.” She giggled, “I’m happy for me. But mainly just super proud of you. I know that’s not easy.”

Shelby smiled back at her. “I’m proud of me, too. But also, I know now that I want all that stuff. The thanksgivings and fourth of Julys. I want to watch you blow shit up. I want to cook you thanksgiving meals, even if you call me a colonizer all day.” Toni chuckled at that, but Shelby continued, “I want to be your first Valentine, I want all of that.”

Toni kissed her, her heart soaring. She knew every time Shelby had said I love you that she meant it. But this was the most in depth talk they had had about what would happen after here. And she had said her piece, she would wait for however long she had to, as long as it meant Shelby at the end. And Shelby wasn’t going to back out, no matter what her family said.

_Toni met Shelby at the restaurant, the fanciest in Minneapolis, Shelby had said. Toni wore a pressed white button down and the custom charcoal suit she had gotten for the trial. Shelby had come straight from school, but had changed into a forest green dress that came down to her mid calf, with a slit that went dangerously high up the side. Toni’s eyes drifted up her slowly, a smile crossing her lips and a blush creeping up her neck before she could stop it. The waiter pulled her chair back from the table for her. “Welcome to Pierre’s, ma’am.”_

_“Uhhh, thank you.” She said sitting down across from Shelby, not registering the rest of what the waiter told her, her eyes were too busy following the rather revealing neckline of Shelby’s dress. There was no way she had any sort of bra on under that, she thought as her mind shifted to the yellow bodice she had on under her shirt. She quickly looked down to make sure you couldn’t see it through the buttons, relaxing slightly when she saw her shirt hadn’t gaped anywhere when she sat down._

_“I think she’s going to need a second.” Shelby said sweetly to the waiter as clearly, Toni was too distracted to respond to his list of wines he had just told her._

_The waiter smiled, bowed his head graciously, and left. The second he was gone, Toni whispered, “holy shit.” Her eyes moved slowly up Shelby’s neck, her hair had all been pulled back into a high ponytail, one that years ago she would have called condescending. She smiled at the thought._

_Shelby blushed, her heart pounding that Toni still stared at her the way she was at the moment. She smiled back at her girlfriend, knowing how stunning she was in her own right. She thought about how her mom and friends had rambled on about how handsome men looked in suits, she bit her bottom lip, they paled in comparison to how absolutely stunning Toni looked right now. “You look sexy as fuck.” Shelby whispered back._

_Toni beamed, a proud chuckle leaving her lips. “I know the waiter said a whole bunch of things to me, but I really didn’t hear him.”_

_Shelby laughed, “I know. He listed off all the wines.”_

_“We’re not twenty-one.” Toni said back, her eyes widening at the glass in front of Shelby._

_Shelby smiled a mischievous grin, “I don’t think many eighteen and nineteen year olds are multimillionaires who eat at places like Pierre’s on Valentine’s Day.” Shelby said, taking a sip of her wine. “You’d like this one. Want a sip?”_

_Toni grinned, mischievously. She took the glass and swirled it like some pretentious asshole she saw in an old black and white film before taking a sip. She had never tasted a red wine she liked, they were always too dry. This one however, was sweet. “That is really good.”_

_Shelby smiled, “I thought you’d like it. He’s coming back. Act normal.” She winked at Toni across the table, sliding her foot up Toni’s leg. Toni forgot how to think again._

_“Miss?” The waiter asked, for what must have been the second or third time._

_Toni snapped her mouth shut, “Shit. I’m sorry, sir. I’ll have the same as her, please.”_

_He smiled, chuckling to himself, “Of course, ma’am.”_

_Toni blushed a deeper shade of red as Shelby’s foot traced higher up her leg. “Babe, I have to read the menu or the waiter is going to think I’m the rudest person in the restaurant.”_

_Shelby giggled, “But it’s fun distracting you.”_

_Toni grinned at her, “consider me very distracted.” She very deliberately picked up her menu and looked it over, settling on the charcuterie board for her appetizer and thebacon wrapped filet mignon and au gratin potatoes as quickly as possible, knowing that Shelby was going to continue being distracting._

_“So what’s on our agenda for the rest of the evening?” Shelby asked, a coy smile on her lips._

_Toni cleared her throat, blushing. “Whatever you like, love.”_

_“Whatever I like?” Shelby raised an eyebrow._

_Toni swallowed nervously and nodded, “anything.”_

_The dinner was absolutely delicious. Toni had never had anything like it. It was a six course meal with each course being fancier than the last. Even Shelby said it was the fanciest restaurant she had ever been to. Toni wondered how much it cost, but Shelby had snatched the check before she could, not even blinking at whatever the total was. Not that it mattered, but homeless Toni from three years ago was curious. She let out a laugh, thinking about how some people worked their whole lives to make a million dollars, when all it really took was a faked plane crash, complete desertion on an island, invasion of privacy, serious injuries, and now crippling anxiety and recurring nightmares. She took another sip of wine, knowing she had damn well earned it._

_“What are you thinking about?” Shelby asked, curiously._

_Toni grinned, “oh you know, just about the past couple of years and all the fucked up shit we went through to get here.”_

_“But we’re here now.” Shelby said._

_Toni smiled, “yes, we are. But thankfully, and more importantly, we’re about to be back at our apartment.”_

_Toni followed Shelby home, parking in her designated spot just outside their apartment in the lot. Toni slid her hand into Shelby’s as they walked towards their building, loving how tall Shelby was in her heels, her eyes trailing up the slit in Shelby’s dress._

_Shelby caught her staring, “did you mean it at dinner when you said I could do whatever I wanted.”_

_Toni let out a laugh, “of course.”_

_Shelby smiled again, quickening her step, practically dragging Toni along with her. Toni chuckled as Shelby slammed the key in the door. The laugh caught on her lips as Shelby pulled her inside and pushed her back against the wall of their entry way. Shelby captured Toni’s mouth with her own, her hands tugging Toni’s suit jacket off of her and letting it fall to the ground._

_Shelby started unbuttoning Toni’s shirt, desperate to get her out of it. Toni quickly lifted a foot and untied her dress shoe without breaking their kiss, knowing that as soon as Shelby got her shirt undone, she’d see the lace bodice Toni had worn to dinner._

_Sure enough, Shelby tried to drag her nails down Toni’s abdomen, but was met with the unfamiliar feeling of lace. Shelby broke their kiss, looking down between them, her jaw dropping. She undid the last of the buttons on Toni’s shirt and watched Toni shrug out of it. Shelby traced the lace pattern with her fingertips, down Toni’s body until she hit Toni’s belt. “You’re so beautiful.” She whispered._

_Toni’s fingers made quick work of Shelby’s zipper and she watched as the forest green dress fell to the floor. “That was a beautiful dress.” Toni said, before kissing Shelby again, nipping softly at Shelby’s bottom lip. She had been right, Shelby hadn’t had a bra on under it. All she had worn under was a black g-string. Toni’s hands slid over Shelby’s ass, squeezing roughly._

_Shelby moaned into Toni’s mouth, her hands quickly undoing her belt and pants, pushing them down over Toni’s hip. “Fuck.” Shelby said, her breathing heavy from all of their kisses. Toni watched the blush creep over Shelby’s body as her eyes raked over Toni’s body._

_Toni bit her bottom lip. “It’s not too much is it?”_

_Shelby shook her head no, “I love it.” She breathed out, pulling Toni tightly to her, her mouth moving down Toni’s neck._

_For a moment Toni wondered if Shelby was going to take her right there in the entryway, not that she would have minded if she did, but Shelby stopped biting her neck, grabbing her hand, and leading them to her bedroom._

_“I might have spent the better part of my school day Googling something.” Shelby said as she pushed open her bedroom door._

_“Okay?” Toni said._

_“Do you trust me?”_

_Toni let out a nervous chuckle, “of course, babe.”_

_“And I can do whatever I want?”_

_“Babe, do you want to tell me about the videos you watched today? You look like you’re about to start pacing.”_

_Shelby blushed, but went to her closet. Toni waited for the sound of Shelby opening the box they had purchased to store all their sex toys, but that sound never came. Instead Shelby stepped back out from the closet holding rope and what appeared to be a black satin sleep mask. Toni’s mouth fell open. “You can say no, obviously.” Shelby said quickly, blushing._

_Toni watched the blush creep down Shelby’s chest. She licked her lips and cleared her throat. “You watched videos on how to tie me up?” her voice was higher than normal._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip and nodded, “safely, yeah.”_

_“And you want to tie me to the bed?”_

_Shelby blushed, “well. So, I’ve really only learned how to tie your hands together in like, fancy rope handcuffs.”_

_Toni let out another nervous laugh, “okay.Yeah, that’s fine.”_

_Shelby’s eyes widened, “really?”_

_Toni pressed a kiss to her lips, “of course, I trust you with my life. You let me handcuff you to the bed, it’s totally fine. Here.” She held her hands out in front of her. “Or wait, am I supposed to be blindfolded?” She said pointing at the blindfold in Shelby’s hands._

_Shelby stared at Toni with so much love coursing through her she thought she might explode._

_“Shit,” Toni said, unable to read Shelby’s expression. “Am I supposed to be silent? Is this one of those things where you’re going to get all bossy and tell me what to do?”_

_Shelby laughed, “would you like that?”_

_Toni shrugged, “no clue. All of this is new to me.” She gestured down at the yellow bodice, “clearly I’m fine with trying new things, though.”_

_“I really like that by the way.” Shelby said smiling at Toni her fingertips tracing the lace over Toni’s nipples, feeling them stiffen under her touch. She cleared her throat,“put this on.” Command cut through her playful tone as she handed Toni the blindfold._

_Toni grinned, but did as she was told. As soon as the blindfold was in place, she held out her hands. Shelby spread her hands farther apart a bit and then draped the rope over them, looping it around and around. Toni bit her lip, loving how the rope felt as it bit into her skin ever so softly. She felt Shelby’s fingers on her wrist, making sure the ropes weren’t too tight. “Serious question,” Shelby said, her accent thicker, Toni knew that meant she was incredibly turned on. “Does it feel too tight?”_

_“No, it doesn’t feel too tight.”_

_“Okay, pull your wrists apart, I need to make sure it’s not going to tighten if you pull against it.”_

_Toni struggled to get out of it. She was honestly surprised when she couldn’t, no matter how she pulled or twisted, there was no opening for her to get out, but the ropes hadn’t tightened._

_“Okay, for real, if it starts to feel too tight or if your hands feel like they’re going to fall asleep, you have to tell me. I have safety scissors in my bedside table, I’ll cut you free. This is for fun, you just have to tell me if it stops being fun.”_

_Toni nodded, her heart melting at how seriously Shelby took her safety. She trusted her completely and hadn’t worried about it for a second, but it made her heart skip a beat that Shelby had taken so many precautions. “Do I get a safe word?” Toni asked, smiling, almost wishing she could see Shelby’s reaction._

_“Would you feel better with one?”_

_Toni nodded yes. She knew Shelby would stop if she said to, but the thought of having a word she could use later, maybe even in public one day, made her heart race._

_“Okay, what do you want it to be?”_

_Toni chuckled, “lychee.”_

_Shelby laughed at that, “Okay, Love. If you say lychee, I’ll stop.” She leaned in and kissed Toni’s lips, loving that it had surprised Toni a bit because of the blindfold._

_Shelby pushed Toni back on the bed, gently, pushing her hands up over her head, giving herself plenty of room to work. “Shit.” Shelby muttered._

_“What’s wrong?” Toni asked, confused._

_“I left something in the other room.” Shelby said clearly frustrated._

_“Okay, go get it.” Toni laughed._

_“Rule number one in tying people up is to not leave them alone.”_

_“Babe, you just tied my hands, I can get the blindfold off if I need to and get up and find you in an emergency situation. You’re not leaving me alone. Go get what you need to get. This is our first time doing this. It’s already perfect.”_

_Shelby groaned. “Fine, count to thirty. If I’m not back, take the blindfold off at least.”_

_Toni chuckled, “okay, love.” Toni heard Shelby sprint through the apartment. She was back in nineteen seconds. “Wow babe, that was actually pretty impressive.”_

_“Don’t ever tell anyone I left, they would judge me forever for that.” Shelby said, setting a lunchbox down beside Toni on the bed._

_Toni laughed for real at that, oblivious to the box next to her “Babe, no part of this story will ever be shared. You have me tied up with a blindfold on and I’m in some weird lace contraption that took me almost thirty minutes to get into by myself. Your secret is safe with me.”_

_Shelby kissed Toni again, loving how Toni reacted with the slightest delay since she didn’t know it was coming. She was also loving how trusting she was and how relaxed she seemed, tied up and blindfolded. She watched her for a second, her hands up over her head, the yellow lace bodice leaving just a few uncovered inches between the bottom of it and the top of the matching yellow thong she was wearing. Shelby’s fingertips traced through the gap, watching as Toni’s chest rose and fell higher and lower with each swipe. Toni licked her lips. Shelby watched as the blush crept back over her chest. “Okay, ready?” Shelby asked, her voice low and seductive._

_“For what?” Toni asked, her voice sounded strained._

_Shelby took a deep breath, she was really doing this. Toni said she was fine with being told what to do. She was fine being blindfolded and tied up, hell she was fine wearing a lace teddy. Shelby could do this. “Yes, or no?” Shelby asked, her voice hard, stern almost._

_Toni swallowed audibly. “Yes, ma’am?”_

_Shelby felt all the heat in her body pool in her core. She hadn’t expected the ma’am. She also hadn’t expected to like it. She was glad Toni couldn’t see her or her very thin facade would fade. She grabbed the lunchbox she had brought back from the kitchen. She had stuffed two handfuls of ice in the bottom compartment. She grabbed one of the cubes, holding over Toni so that the cold water dripped onto her exposed thigh._

_Toni gasped, her legs twitching away from it. She felt goosebumps rise all over her body. Another cold drop hit her, this time on the exposed skin across her stomach. Shelby watched Toni’s whole body tighten, her wrists pull against the ropes over her head. Her nipples pebbling even stiffer under the lace fabric. Another drop fell, Toni’s whole body reacted to it._

_“Too much?” Shelby asked, holding the ice off the side of the bed so more wouldn’t hit her until Toni okayed it. Though it was a question, she still sounded completely in control._

_“No, ma’am.” Toni said, biting her lip, trying to force her breathing steady, feeling herself becoming lost in sensations._

_Shelby traced a line from Toni’s knee down to her thong line along her inner thigh with the ice cube. Toni’s legs fell open, giving Shelby room to roam, a moan catching on her lips when Shelby pulled the ice cube back._

_The ice cube had almost fully melted, so Shelby put the little bit that was left in her mouth and ran her now freezing cold tongue up Toni’s other thigh. Toni whimpered, her body rolling up to try and meet Shelby’s tongue. Shelby grabbed another ice cube from the lunchbox, running this one down Toni’s neck, letting it rest and melt in between her breasts. Shelby licked the water droplets up as they dripped down towards Toni’s collar bones._

_Shelby was careful not to let herself touch Toni anywhere that wasn’t with an ice cube or her tongue. She knew the slightest bit of pressure and Toni would move against her in ways that would make Shelby lose control of the situation and give in to her own building wetness._

_Shelby did a quick visual check of Toni’s wrist binds, making sure the thick rope hadn’t gotten too tight. She could see through gaps between each wrist, so she continued with her own fun. She pulled a can of spray whipped cream from the lunch box and shook it, watching Toni try to get her breathing back under control. Shelby decided to use the bodice as her accomplice and she slid an ice cube up under it, letting it hold in place over Toni’s belly button. Toni hissed at the cold as it started to melt and pool on her abdomen. Shelby loved how sensitive her stomach was. She was going to have some fun with that. She sprayed a dollop of whipped cream along the line of Toni’s thong and licked it off. She sprayed thin lines along each of her thighs and licked them clean in quicksuccession. Toni moaned. As Shelby’s tongue continued its path she watched Toni struggle against the ropes, her hips bucking up seeking relief but finding none. Shelby was intoxicated from the sight._

_She grabbed Toni’s ankles, dragged her down to the foot of the bed and flipped her over. Toni gasped, but didn’t protest. “Up.” Shelby commanded, licking her lips as Toni lifted herself up onto her knees, her forearms still resting on the bed, the thong doing nothing but accentuating her ass. She smiled when she confirmed that this position put Toni at the perfect height for what she had in mind next. She quickly and silently moved to her bedside drawer, grabbing their harness and a dildo she had wanted to try on Toni for some time. She coated it in lube just to be safe. She had a feeling Toni was going to be dripping wet, but this dildo was thicker and longer than the one she had used on Toni before._

_Toni waited, breathless, listening, trying to figure out what was coming next, her heart hammering in her chest. A whimper escaped her lips when Shelby hadn’t touched her for a few seconds. Toni wasn’t even embarrassed by it, she had never needed to be touched more in her entire life. Despite the ice that Shelby had just dripped all over her body, Toni felt like she was on fire. She moaned with relief when Shelby’s hands slid over her hips and ass, her fingertips tracing along Toni’s thong line._

_Shelby pulled it down letting the thong rest at Toni’s knees, smiling as Toni realized she wouldn’t be able to spread her legs any with it being there. Shelby considered leaving it there for a second, another form of control over Toni, but she knew she wanted Toni a little wider apart for her. But while she had her locked in place, she slid her palm down Toni’s abs, down through her well maintained curls and through her lips, feeling just how wet her efforts had made her girlfriend. Shelby fought to keep from moaning at how Toni felt. The lube had been an unnecessary precaution. She dipped two fingers into Toni, her heart pounded as Toni fluttered around her, Toni’s moan filling Shelby’s bedroom. “Can you take more?” Shelby asked, the authority gone her voice, the question filled with love._

_Toni nodded, yes._

_Shelby pulled her fingers out of Toni and sucked them clean, tugging Toni’s thong the rest of the way off her, pushing her legs a little farther apart. Toni leaned forward, her ass in the air, praying that Shelby was about to fill her. She felt the tip of the dildo press against her, and she rocked back into it, moaning with delight._

_Shelby eased it in to her, well aware that this was the biggest thing she had ever taken. When she was as deep in as she could go, she held still, letting Toni adjust to it. “Tell me when you’re ready, Love.”_

_Toni took a few deep breaths, letting herself feel for a moment. The rough rope, holding her wrists in place, Shelby’s softs sheets under her, the feeling of the lace bodice she was wearing, wet from where the ice had melted between it and her skin, Shelby filling her completely. It was so perfect Toni could cry, “I’m ready.” She said, knowing how desperate her voice sounded._

_Shelby pulled out of her, almost all the way before sinking back in, slowly. She watched in wonder as she sank deeper and deeper into Toni, watching Toni rock back into it, wanting even more. Shelby pulled out again, a little faster this time, her hands moving to Toni’s hips, needing something to hold on to. She thrusted quicker and harder, trusting Toni to tell her if it was too much, but those words never came. Instead Toni yelled for more and more until her voice broke._

_Shelby watched as Toni’s whole body tightened, the muscles in her back rippling, her biceps bulging as she pulled with all her strength against the rope, her thighs flexing against the front of Shelby’s, her whole body freezing-held tight in a delicious moment of pleasure. Shelby had felt Toni orgasm hundreds of times before, but this was different somehow, unencumbered, completely free, like for the first time, neither of them had held anything back. Shelby did her best to mirror Toni’s broken rhythm as the orgasm rocked through her, moaning with her as she finished._

_Toni practically collapsed forward on the bed, groaning the second she was empty. Shelby gasped, “sorry, sweetie, are you okay?”_

_Toni nodded holding her hands up, still roped together, “hold me?” She asked._

_Shelby ducked under the rope and laid on top of Toni, doing her best to move the dripping wet dildo in a way that wouldn’t be uncomfortable. Toni didn’t seem to care though, she just wanted to feel all of Shelby. They laid like that at the foot of the bed until their breathing returned to normal. Toni kissed down the side of Shelby’s face until she found her lips, her tongue immediately tracing against Shelby’s, needing the messiest, deepest kiss she could have._

_Shelby pulled the blindfold off Toni, watching Toni blink and adjust to light, her brown eyes searching for Shelby’s. Toni blushed a deep shade of red when she saw how much love was radiating off of Shelby. “Was that okay?” Shelby asked._

_Toni let out a low laugh, “yes, ma’am.” She said with a wink._

_Shelby laughed, “do you want me to untie you?”_

_Toni smiled softly, thinking about it. She finally nodded yes, “Yeah, I want to touch you.”_

_Shelby watched Toni’s face, her eyes still searching Toni’s, “I can’t figure out what you’re thinking. Please tell me? I feel like that was a lot.”  
Toni kissed her, “I’m thinking that you can do that whenever you want. Learn all the knots. I’ll sit very still and be your practice dummy if you need one. I like, desperately want to be fucked like that forever.” Toni laughed, for a second it looked like she might be blinking back a tear._

_“Baby, tell me the rest.” Shelby’s voice was so filled with concern Toni let the baby comment go without mention._

_“I just never thought I’d be the type of person who gives up control like this.” She held up her wrists still tied together. “I mean, you know my history, control is kind of the thing my therapist wants me working on, and…” She let out a whistle, “come to find out, I much prefer giving it up completely.”  
_

_Shelby let out a small laugh, “I won’t tell if you don’t.” She winked._

_Toni smiled up at her, “can we do this again? For real?”_

_Shelby smiled at her, nodding, “we can do this whenever you like.” She ducked out from under Toni’s arms and started untying the knot. “You really want me to learn more?”_

_Toni bit her bottom lip and nodded._

_Shelby giggled, freeing Toni. Shelby’s fingers traced over a little rope burn patch on the outside of Toni’s wrist. She kissed it gently._

_Toni chuckled, “that was my fault, I wouldn’t stop pulling against it there for a minute.” She quickly kissed Shelby’s forehead, cupping her cheek. “Love, I really liked it. A lot. Like, I’m sitting here asking you for more.” Shelby’s eyes still looked worried over the little burn. Toni looked at it too, “Babe, I caused this, and I kind of like that it’s there. I’m a little proud of it.”_

_Shelby let out a laugh relief washing over her, “okay. Can I at least put Neosporin and a bandaid on it?”_

_Toni smiled at her, “only if you use the Star Wards bandaids.”_

_Shelby laughed again. “Okay, love.” She pressed another kiss to Toni’s burn, got up and loosened the harness, stepping out of it, carrying it into the bathroom with her to clean it as well._

_Toni moved up the bed, getting herself tucked in under the covers, her insides feeling almost sore as she moved. She smiled as Shelby came back into the room, holding her wrist out for her. Shelby checked it to make sure it hadn’t actually broken skin anywhere. When she was sure she wasn’t going to have to make Toni get up and wash it was soap and water, she rubbed the ointment on it and placed a Darth Vader bandaid over it._

_“Darth Vader, nice.” Toni said with a grin._

_“Yeah, I thought it was fitting since he gets all burned on that lava planet when he’s fighting Obi-Wan.”_

_Toni’s eyes watered. Shelby had never seen the Star Wars films before they lived together and had very dutifully sat through all of them, watching closely, not playing on her phone, all because she knew they were Toni’s favorites. “I love you.” Toni whispered._

_Shelby giggled, “I know.” She winked. Before Toni could say anything else, Shelby pressed a kiss to her lips, “Good first Valentine’s Day?” She asked._

_Toni nodded, “the best.”_

“Hey, Toni.” Martha called from somewhere near their lean-to.

Shelby sighed into Toni’s chest, knowing they’d spent the better part of the morning lazily laying together and laughing about nothing in particular.

Toni pressed a kiss to her forehead before yelling back, “What’s up, Marty?”

“We have water duty?” Martha called back like it was a question.

Shelby pressed a silent kiss to her lips.

“Okay, Marty.” Toni called back, making sure to keep any traces of grumpiness out of her voice. “I’ll be right out.” Toni pressed another kiss to Shelby’s forehead, Well, my love, duty calls.”

“Be careful out there,” Shelby whispered, “if you get injured, they’ll never be able to get us to leave our little place again.”

Toni chuckled, “okay, love. I’ll be careful. Want me to help you get set up by the camp fire?”

Shelby stretched, “nah, I think I can do it. I need to start moving around a little more.”

Toni nodded, thinking it was too soon, but not wanting to argue. “Okay, I’ll look for a sturdy walking stick while I’m out, maybe try to make you a crutch or something.”

Shelby beamed at her, “that would be awesome, love. Thank you.”

Toni kissed her quickly, “you’re welcome, babe.” She kissed her again, “I’ll be back soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I have time this weekend, I'll write and post the rest of their Valentine's Day. They did get each other gifts after all. Let me know what you thought. :) Your comments give me joy. 
> 
> Y'all are truly the best and deserve nothing but the best,   
> Em


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to wrap up Valentine's Day while it's still Valentine's Day. Thanks for all your wonderful comments from the last chapter, y'all are truly the best. <3
> 
> Hope you enjoy,   
> Em

Martha waited until they were out of earshot of the camp, “so, how’s living with your girlfriend?” Her voice was teasing and playful.

Toni chuckled, “I mean, I know we’re basically sleeping in tents, but it’s actually really nice.”

“I can’t believe you used to hate her.” Martha said laughing. “I guess I should confess to you now that Fatin and I had a bet going on if you’d hook up or not.”

Toni blushed, “what was your part of the bet?”

“That you’d never make a move so it would never happen.” Martha laughed.

“And what was Fatin’s bet?”

“That you’d fuck all over the island.” Marty laughed even harder.

“I didn’t make the first move.” Toni huffed out. Finally she cracked, “but I guess Fatin still won the bet.”

“Shelby is full of surprises.” Marty said.

Toni chuckled at that, “you have no idea.”

“You seem happier. Like in your core. I’ve known you for years and I’ve never seen you this calm.”

Toni nodded, she felt like everything had changed, it didn’t surprise her that Martha could sense the shift in her. She cleared her throat and nodded. “I feel different.”

Martha looked at her with wonder, “is that what true love is?”

Toni shrugged, “I don’t know.” Toni thought for a while, trying to figure out what had caused the shift, why she didn’t get the flashes of rage like she used to, why her desire to fight every body and every thing around her was fading away. “She saw me at my worst and still looks at me like I shit out the stars.”

Martha cringed at Toni's word choice, “you’re such a romantic, Toni.”

Toni laughed, but suddenly her demeanor changed, “no, but seriously. That first hike we went on to find water. The first day we were here when she came back to camp and had that cut on her head. I hit her with a tree.” 

“You hit her with a tree?” Martha practically yelled at her.

Toni sighed, “yeah.” She chuckled a little thinking back on it. “In my defense, she wouldn’t stop singing religious songs and telling me I needed to scrub my brain. And that stupid damn pony tail she had.”

“So you hit her with a tree?”

“Yep.” Toni said biting her bottom lip. She sighed, “but that’s my point. She saw me at my most…. triggerable… is that a word? She saw me at my lowest low. Then there was the shelter building contest and I lost my shit. Hell, that’s when even you gave up on me.” Marty looked at Toni like she wanted to say something, but Toni waved her off, “No, Marty. You were right, I do break things.”

“How did it change?” Marty asked, not prying, she just hadn’t had Toni alone since she and Shelby had gotten more serious. When they had built all the shelters together over that week, Fatin had been there and had been incessantly asking sex questions. Martha didn’t really care about all that, she wanted to know the love story.

Toni shrugged, “I don’t know. One day I found out I really bothered her, like was really under her skin. She kicked the back of my legs as I walked away. I thought we were actually going to fight.” Toni blushed, “but then she saved my life.” Toni thought about it more, “and then all the little cracks in her perfect surface started to show through. Her teeth, her struggles with religion, her struggles with herself, and all the sudden her condescending ponytail was just as fucked up as the rest of us. And as that started happening, I stopped hating myself for finding her so stupid fucking hot.” Toni let out a whistle, “because good lord is that woman beautiful.”

Martha laughed, “she is really pretty.”

Toni hummed in agreement, “her hair cut looks great by the way. You did a killer job of it with just regular scissors.”

Marty blushed, “it was actually a lot of fun. If we ever get back, would you judge me if I wanted to go to cosmetology school?”

Toni looked over at her friend, “Marty, that’s a brilliant idea. You’d be great at that. You’ve cut my hair for a few years now and you did a great job with Shelby’s. Plus you’re so easy to talk to, you know you’d be so good at that with clients.”

Martha blushed, she had never been great at receiving compliments. The older she got and the more removed she got from the situation, the more she realized that was a result of her trauma with Dr. Ted. She took a deep breath, “Thanks, Toni.”

Toni smiled at her. “You’re welcome, dude.”

“So she made the move on you, huh?”

Toni laughed, “oh my God, you’re as bad as Fatin.”

Martha whacked Toni’s arm. “I am not.”

Toni chuckled, “no, you’re not. But yes, Shelby kissed me. I didn’t even know it was going to happen. I was kind of yelling at her.”

Marty stopped walking, “wait, what?”

“Well, not like, yelling yelling. She was just going on and on about pressure and always having to be something and I was like look around we’re on a fucking island. It’s nobody’s fault but your own if you’re still trying to be something you’re not. And then she stuck her tongue down my throat and then took off through the woods.”

Martha laughed a full belly laugh. “No wonder neither of you want to tell Fatin that story.”

Toni blushed, “oh fuck no, she’d never let us live in down. I swear she’d be like ‘going for a run?’ Every morning or any time she saw us kiss.”

“Can I ask when the first time you hooked up was or is that pushing it?”

Toni laughed, “you’re my best friend Marty, you know I’ll tell you anything. It was when we found the lychee tree.”

Martha scoffed, “so while I was slaying a live animal and your other friends were dying of starvation, you were getting it on under what you thought to be our only food source?”

Toni froze, her mouth fell open. “I hadn’t really thought of that.”

Martha shook her head, the amusement clear in her eyes, but she was definitely going to give Toni shit for this. “You said you got lost.”

Toni blushed, “I mean… we got lost in each other?”

Martha let out a laugh, “ew. I’m done. Never tell Dot or Rachel that story, you know they’d be pissed you picked fornication over group starvation.”

Toni groaned, “you’re so right.”

“Fatin would totally get it though.”

Toni let out a laughed, “Fatin is a really underrated member of our group.”

_“I uhhh… I got you something for Valentine’s Day.” Toni said, nervously._

_Shelby smiled at her, “I saw the flowers when I was running through the apartment to get the ice and whipped cream.” She kissed Toni gently, pulling her into a snuggle. “They’re beautiful, thank you.”_

_Toni blushed, “well, yeah, those, but I also got you a gift.”_

_Shelby smiled at her, “you mean other than your lacy getup and flowers, you also got me something?”_

_Toni bit her bottom lip and nodded. “Can I go get it?”_

_Shelby kissed her softly, “of course. I got you something, too.”_

_Toni chuckled, “you mean other than the fancy dinner and the rope and the blindfold?”_

_Shelby laughed, “yeah, other than dinner, the rope, and the blindfold.”_

_“Okay.” Toni let out a laugh, “I’ll be right back.” Toni walked down the hall into her bedroom, she pulled the long thin box out of her closet, looking at the necklace inside, her heart swelling, she had never bought anyone jewelry before. She hoped Shelby liked it. She wondered as she stepped back into Shelby’s room if she should have wrapped it._

_Shelby crawled back into bed, pulling the sheets back up to her lap, their apartment a little chilly in the cold Minnesota February. She watched as Toni reentered her room, her yellow lace bodice still in place, the rest of her clothes discarded all over their apartment. Shelby blushed at the thought, her heart skipping a beat as Toni climbed into her bed next to her, a long thin box in her hand._

_“I might should have wrapped this,” Toni said handing her the box._

_Shelby shook her head, no, “it’s fine, Love.” Her eyes searched Toni’s, “can I open it?”_

_Toni bit her bottom lip but nodded yes, clearly nervous._

_Shelby opened the box, recognizing the brand and the necklace itself, her eyes watered. “Love, how did you?”_

_Toni blushed, “It’s the same as your cross, right?”_

_Shelby nodded, “yes, it’s perfect.”_

_Toni let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding, “thank fuck.” She whispered._

_“Will you put it on me?” Shelby asked._

_Toni smiled and nodded, delicately grabbing the heart from the box, her fingers making quick work of the latch. Shelby turned so that Toni could drape the necklace around her and fasten it in the back. They did look great together, the hart falling a few inches lower than the cross, but complimenting it perfectly._

_Shelby smiled and handed Toni a square leather box. Toni opened it carefully to see a beautiful watch. “Holy shit, babe. That’s beautiful.” Toni said pulling it out of the box._

_Shelby blushed, “well I know how you feel about smart watches, so I thought I’d get you a real old school watch instead. It’s engraved.”_

_Toni flipped the watch over. It was exactly Toni’s style, a simple black leather band with a gold rimmed face with nothing digital about it. The back of the gold watch face said “forever and always.” Toni’s eyes watered. She quickly fastened the watch to her left wrist, thankful the rope burn had been on the other, smiling at how perfect everything was. She cleared her throat, “I love it. Thank you.”_

_Shelby blushed as she fingered the lace on Toni’s bodice. “Do you want help getting out of this?”_

_Toni laughed, “yeah, I don’t know that I’m capable of taking it off by myself. You have no idea how hard it was to get it on.”_

_Shelby laughed, “turn around.” She quickly unhooked every latch of the bodice, her thumbs tracing over each inch of skin exposed._

_“Shit.” Toni whispered._

_“What’s wrong, Love?” Shelby asked, her lips ghosting along Toni’s now exposed back._

_“Nothing, I just also got us something else.” She spun and pressed a quick kiss to Shelby’s lips before running to her bathroom to grab the massage oils and body scrubs and face masks, all the other things she had gotten at the mall just a few days ago._

_Shelby looked through all of it. “Sweetie this is awesome. We can do a whole spa day.”_

_Toni grinned, “I was hoping you’d say that.”_

_Shelby chuckled, knowing that before they had lived together, Toni had never had a proper massage. They had done a couples massage for Toni’s nineteenth birthday, and Toni had loved it. Toni snuggled contentedly into Shelby’s side, “do you want to do that now or do you want to do other stuff?” Toni asked as she wiggled her eyebrows at Shelby._

_Shelby thought about it for a second. She did want to get off, but she felt like she should really rub on Toni given that she had just tied her up. “Do you want me to give you a massage?”_

_Toni grinned up at her, “always, but uhhh…” She let out a chuckle, “can I go down on you first?”_

_Shelby smiled, and nodded. “That sounds fantastic.”_

_Toni was already moving to get down between her legs. Shelby giggled, her heart was pounding, she loved the way that Toni was always so excited to make love to her. Toni licked up her inner thigh, smiling up at Shelby. “Can I get that whipped cream or?”_

_Shelby blushed, but handed Toni the can off her bedside table. Toni sprayed the can straight into her mouth. It made Shelby laugh, “really?” She asked, teasing._

_Toni grinned at her, “what? I like whipped cream.” She looked down at Shelby’s body, “Oh did you want some of it on you?”_

_Shelby let out a laugh, “ummm… yeah, duh.”_

_“Ohhhh…” Toni winked at her before spraying small circles on each of Shelby’s nipples._

_Toni’s tongue flicked up, licking the whipped cream clean. A moan left Shelby’s lips as Toni’s gentle licking turned into sucking. Toni pulled back, spraying a line down Shelby’s throat, her mouth quickly moving to lick it up._

_“Fuck,” Shelby whispered as Toni sprayed some just above her belly button. Toni lowered herself back down between Shelby’s legs to lick it all off._

_She sprayed some on the inside of each of Shelby’s thighs grinning dangerously as Shelby spread her legs wider apart for Toni, bending at the knees, so she could watch Toni lick her clean. Toni bit the soft fleshy part of her thighs just hard enough to cause a slight sting._

_“You should sit up against the headboard,” Toni said, biting into her other thigh a little gentler than before._

_Shelby nodded and scooted up in the bed. She licked her lips, she could feel herself getting wetter just knowing that Toni could tell she wanted to watch. Toni waited until Shelby was comfortable before spraying more whipped cream, this time just above Shelby’s neatly manicured curls. She sucked the dollop up, immediately moving lower, her tongue sliding straight through Shelby’s lips. her eyes searching upwards, finding Shelby’s watching, enthralled._

_Shelby let out a moan, there was something so satisfying about this angle, about being able to watch as Toni slid her tongue as deep into her as she could get it, quickly replacing her tongue with two fingers, her mouth moving to suck on Shelby’s clit. Shelby tangled her fingers into Toni’s hair, holding her in place, never wanting to lose the sensation Toni was creating._

_Toni flexed her fingers up, into Shelby, letting the pads of her fingertips brush against the rough front of Shelby, just deeper than her entrance. Shelby cried out, doing her best to resist the urge to let her eyes slam shut and her head fall back, wanting desperately to keep her eyes locked on Toni, wanting to watch her the whole way through._

_The way that Toni’s fingers were stroking her and the way her tongue was flicking back and forth across her clit, and Shelby could already feel her body tightening. “Love, I’m already…” Shelby was breathless. Toni slid her hand up Shelby’s body, interlacing their fingers._

_Shelby came with her eyes locked on Toni’s, her body tightening around Toni’s fingers, Toni’s name falling from her lips, all she could think about was Toni. She watched as Toni licked her fingers clean, winking at her before spraying more whipped cream directly into her mouth._

_“That’s a better combo than chocolate and pretzels.” Toni hummed with satisfaction._

_Shelby laughed, chocolate covered pretzels were Toni’s favorite, she loved that combination of salty and sweet. “You’re ridiculous.” She said, still a little out of breath._

_Toni grinned, wiping her mouth and chin with the back of her hand. “You love it though.”  
_

_Shelby laughed, “I really really do.”_

Martha sighed, “I can’t believe I’m the only virgin left on the island.”

Toni looked over at her best friend, “we’ll get out of here, and when we do, we’ll find you a real life Marcus, equally as hung, but with communication skills and a better sense of humor.”

Martha laughed at that. ‘I know, I just… I guess it was nice to not be alone. Then you had to go and seduce her.”

Toni laughed, “hardly. She kept kissing me, not the other way around.”

Martha sighed, “maybe I should try that with Fatin.”

Toni’s eyes widened, “please be kidding.”

Martha shrugged, “I don’t know she said she was hot for me after the goat. Like caveman style.” Martha was teasing, but she knew how defensive Toni got over her, it was entertaining to watch the panic on Toni’s face.

“Please do not try and fuck Fatin.” Toni knew Martha was kidding, but on the off chance she wasn't she felt the need to say it again.

Martha laughed, “I wouldn’t. I kind of want my first time to be their first time, too. Or at least like, close to being their first time. Like nothing against her. Fatin is awesome. And I will definitely always go to her for advice, but I would feel so outclassed. Like she’d know exactly what good sex was supposed to be and I would have no idea how to do that.”

Toni nodded, understanding. “I get that.”

“Was that weird for you and Shelby, since you had experience and she didn’t?”

Toni shook her head no. “It’s not like I had a lot of experience though, it was kind of like you said. I had only had sex with Raegan a handful of times, it’s not like I was a pro. Not that I am now, I just… you know what I mean.”

Martha nodded, “no, I get it. That’s why I’m destined to stay a virgin forever.” 

Toni laughed, “no, Marty, just until we get out of here.”

Marty looked at Toni carefully, choosing her words delicately, “what are you two going to do if we get rescued?”

Toni shrugged, “we’ve talked about it some. Shelby wants to finish school at home being her authentic self. After that, she’s only applying to colleges in Minnesota and we’re going to move in together for real. I’m going to do that electrician’s apprenticeship that I’ve been trying to prepare for for the past year.”

Martha’s mouth fell open, “holy shit. You’re for real all in. That’s what changed.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, it’s not just that you’re in love with her, you want a home and a life with her. You want to really let her in, not just surface level shit, but like all of it.”

Toni blushed and looked down at her feet. “It’s not that I want that, Marty, it’s that I feel like I already have it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to the great state of Texas and this freak winter storm. I get tomorrow off. Hopefully I can get another chapter out. Let me know what y'all want to see.
> 
> Options:  
> A. The last of the Goodkind's visit.  
> B. Some more of the Texas trip  
> C. More porn with very little plot lol.  
> D. Something we've talked about, but haven't seen (phone sex, serious injury, jealous Toni)  
> E. Some combo of the above
> 
> This has officially become a choose your own smutty adventure story lol. 
> 
> Y'all are the best,   
> Em


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tallied all the votes, jealousy won out with an emphasis on Shelby being the jealous one. 
> 
> Major shout out to: ThatWickedOzian. Couldn't have done this one without you, bestie.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> Thanks for reading and playing along,  
> Em

Toni and Martha made it to the waterfall and started filling up their metal bottles. “Isn’t that time apart going to drive you crazy?” Martha said finally, unable to let it drop. She saw how happy Toni was, even in the little things. Her constantly clenched jaw had relaxed, her resting bitch face had softened, she looked lighter, she didn’t want to see that all ripped away from her best friend.

“Hmmmm,” Toni thought about it. It would drive her crazy to be kept apart from Shelby. And as scared as Shelby had seemed just a few weeks ago, the hatred that had been instilled in her, she couldn’t imagine Shelby going back there was going to be a cakewalk for her, but she respected Shelby for wanting to finish strong where she started. It had really surged the confidence in herself to want to do the same. “I think it’ll be okay. Assuming we get picked up here pretty soon from now, it’s just a year until next summer. I can wait a year.”

Martha eyed her friend, she didn’t want to push it, but she knew Toni and she knew how rage filled she could be for such a small human, she wanted Toni to really think about it. Martha braced to be on the receiving end of rage, “She has a boyfriend back home, Toni.”

Toni laughed, “I’m not worried about Andrew.”

Martha frowned, “how are you not worried about her boyfriend of years?”

Toni shrugged, “she’s had years to sleep with him, and she never did. Why on Earth would she start now? Plus, like you said. This is different.”

“So if we get picked up from here and he shows up at the airport with flowers, you’re not going to be jealous?”

Toni shrugged, “I don’t know Marty. Fuck, do you want me to be jealous?” Toni could feel her rage rising.

Martha looked down at her feet, “no, Toni. I just don’t want to watch you get your heart broken.” Martha remembered Toni right after Raegan, Toni had been a wreck, and like Martha said, this was different. She had never seen Toni like this, Martha was genuinely scared of what that wreckage might look like. “Just maybe talk to her before that ever could happen?”

Toni was pissed. She was happy, in a happy little bubble, why in the world was Martha trying to burst it? Who said they were going to get rescued anyways. For all they knew they were going to be here until they died. So what difference did it make? Toni waited impatiently for Martha to finish filling her bottles.

“Toni, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to piss you off, I just don’t want to see you get crushed.”

Toni frowned, she wasn’t going to get crushed, not a single thing in her felt worried about it, so why would Martha be so convinced she was? Toni didn’t say much on their walk back. Martha had tried to change the subject, talk about something entirely different, but Toni tuned her out and walked faster, leaving Martha trailing behind. By the time she got back to camp, her knuckles were white around the drawstrings of her bag. Which, she discarded haphazardly by the fire. Her eyes searched the camp for Shelby, a panic rising in her chest when she was no where to be found. Toni’s eyes shot to Nora, she clenched her jaw tight, taking a few deep breaths, “where’s Shelby?” She asked as softly as she could manage, knowing damn well her voice was as rough as sandpaper.

Nora looked up from her journal and pointed through the woods. “Leah and Fatin helped carry her down that path. Said something about the crazy girl club and that they’d be back soon.” Nora’s eyes looked over Toni, “I’m sorry I didn’t track them better. Do you want to talk about it?”

Toni looked down at her, some of her anger dissipating. “No, but thank you, Nora.” She swallowed hard, “I appreciate the offer. I just need to find Shelby.”

Toni jogged down the trail trying to find her girlfriend, leaving just as Martha had made it to camp behind her.

Nora looked at Martha, who looked really upset. “Why did she look mad again?”

Martha blushed and bit her bottom lip, “I feel awful. I really didn’t mean to set her off.”

_Toni took up most of the booth in the back of the diner. She had blueprints and schematics scattered all over the table. Shelby watched her for a second before sliding in opposite her. It took Toni a minute to realize she was there, her noise cancelling headphones were pounding so loudly Shelby could recognize the song she was listening to. “Love, hi.” Toni practically screamed over her music, pulling the headphones down to her neck. “How was class?”_

_Shelby smiled at her, Toni still took her breath away. They had lived together for a full year now, but there were still little things about Toni that melted her heart. The fact that it was a few days before Toni’s first test for one of the electrical certification classes she was in and she was clearly deep into studying something and the first thing out of her mouth was to ask how Shelby’s day went, was definitely something that melted Shelby a little bit._

_Toni frowned at her, “was your day bad?” She prompted, unsure as to why her girlfriend had just sat there staring at her._

_Shelby blushed, “sorry, no. It was a good day.” She chuckled, shaking her head, “sorry, you’re just insanely…”_

_She was cut off though, “can I get you something else, baby?” the waitress asked, pointedly turning her back to Shelby._

_Shelby’s mouth fell open. This woman better be thirty years older than them when she turned around or Shelby knew she might snap. She shook her head, where did that come from?_

_Toni frowned, her eyes leaving Shelby’s took look up at the waitress, “Oh, um, sure. I’ll take another coffee, black please. She’ll have an iced water and a hot americano.” Toni gestured at Shelby._

_The waitress shot a glance in Shelby’s direction. Shelby’s jaw clenched, that woman was definitely not thirty years older than them. She was easily right in their age range, and based on the pointed look Shelby just received, she was less than impressed with Shelby’s existence. Shelby looked at Toni who seemed completely oblivious to the entire situation. If anything she just looked confused._

_“So that was weird.” Shelby said._

_Toni frowned, “okay? Are you sure you’re okay. You look mad. Did I do your laundry wrong again or something? I swear I’ve been trying to read the tags after the sweater shrinking incident. RIP pink sweater.” Toni mock crossed herself trying to get Shelby to laugh._

_Shelby swallowed, she wasn’t the jealous type. The only time in her life she had remotely felt jealous was with Fatin on the island, right after she and Toni had started hooking up, but that was so short lived and in the end, Fatin had been trying to help Toni prep their date. But the way that the waitress had sounded when she called Toni ‘baby’ had lit a fire in her stomach she had never felt before._

_“Earth to Shelby?” Toni looked genuinely concerned. “Love?”_

_Shelby shook her head, “I am so sorry, sweetie. Let me try again. I had a good day.” She smiled brightly, but she knew Toni would be able to read it as the pageant smile it was. “How was your day?”_

_Toni relaxed a little, but she knew something was off. She didn’t think a diner was the best place to press the issue though, so she carried on like nothing was wrong. “It was a good day. I went to a job site with Big Sam and learned a lot there. Then I had my class this afternoon. I’ve been posted up here for a couple of hours. So you know, thirty cups of coffee deep and hyper as shit, but it was a great day.”_

_Shelby smiled a real smile at that, “Love, I am so proud of you.”_

_Toni was just about to respond when the waitress retuned with a fresh mug of steaming hot coffee for Toni and two to-go cups for Shelby. Shelby stared at her paper cups feeling rage boil inside of her as the waitress again turned her back to her and set a slice of pie down in front of Toni. “This is on me. You’re clearly studying for something important, thought you could use something a little sweet.”_

_Shelby white knuckled the edge of the table watching Toni’s face. God, her girlfriend was breathtaking, but she seriously was not picking up on this woman’s hints. It would be adorable if Shelby weren’t so damn mad. She was sitting right there. The waitress smirked at Shelby as she left, like she had just won something._

_Toni on the other hand was grinning like a little kid, “free pie, babe.” She pushed the piece of pie towards Shelby before even lifting the fork, “Do you want it? You kind of look like you could use a pick-me-up.”_

_Shelby glared at the waitress, “she’s got to be fucking kidding.”_

_Toni’s eyes followed Shelby’s gaze. “Do you know Annie?”_

_Shelby’s eyes snapped to Toni, “its name is Annie?”_

_Toni nodded, confused. “Yeah?”_

_“Why do we know its name is Annie?” Shelby wondered how many times Annie had been Toni’s waitress. She knew this was Toni’s favorite place to wait for her to finish class. The flare of jealous rage was more than a flare now. She wondered how many times Toni had sat in this booth and gotten free pie. She wondered if Annie had slipped her her number. Her heart sank, had Toni taken it?_

_Toni looked genuinely confused, “because it’s on her name tag?”_

_Shelby realized she’d never even seen the front of Annie properly given that she had kept her back to her the whole time. “She’s flirting with you.” Shelby mumbled, embarrassed that she had let her thoughts drift as far as to think Toni had gotten this girls number, when all she had done was read the tag on her shirt._

_Toni let out a laugh, the nervous energy leaving her body, “holy shit, babe.” She breathed a sigh of relief, “I thought you were mad at me for something.” Toni reached across the table and tucked a strand of Shelby’s hair back behind her ear. Toni smiled, she had loved Shelby’s shaved head, but with the year they were apart and their year of living together, her blonde hair was back down to her shoulders. It was Toni’s favorite. Enough to play with, but still very Shelby. “I’m not interested in Annie.” Toni winked at her across the table, “alas, my heart belongs to another,” she feigned dramatics, clutching her chest, “but, I also will never in my life turn down free pie.”_

_Shelby laughed at that, her heart warming at the fact that Toni had offered her the first bite. She took the fork from the plate, stabbing off the front triangle. Her eyes found Annie’s, the waitress glaring at her, Shelby raised an eyebrow and took the first bite, slowly and deliberately._

_“Jesus.” Toni said, “now I’m jealous of the fucking fork.”_

_Shelby giggled and handed it to Toni. Shelby looked down at the cups in front of her, “this bitch even gave me to-go cups.”_

_Toni laughed at that, “would you feel better if you sat over here next to me? Or do you intend to pull your books out and study?”_

_Shelby sighed, “I need to to study, and you need to study. You’re hot. People are going to flirt with you. I need to get over it.”_

_Toni smiled at her, “just know that I love you and I’m all yours, and honestly, I’ll probably never get it.”_

_Shelby thought back to how surprised Toni was when she kissed her for the first time, she chuckled, knowing that Toni was telling the truth. “Thanks, love.”_

Toni found Fatin and Leah and Shelby in deep conversation just off the path all sitting on a rock just two football fields away from camp. She froze when she saw them, trying to keep the rage off her face. The three all turned to look at her when she stopped walking, clearly disturbing their thought process. Shelby’s eyes widened as she clocked Toni’s expression. The tight line of rage she hadn’t seen in a while locked in place. Fatin and Leah looked more than a little concerned when they caught it as well. “Dude, sorry we took your girl off into the woods, she and Leah were going on about some conspiracy theory and Nora was starting to get a little riled up, I just wanted them to have a place to talk it through.”

Toni frowned at Fatin, “I’m not mad at you.” The way she said you made it clear she was mad at someone.

Shelby looked incredibly concerned, “sweetie, what happened?”

Toni took a deep shaky breath, something about Shelby’s look and her voice calling her sweetie cut through the rage like it was butter and her voice was a hot knife. Toni shook her head, not wanting to cry in front of Fatin and Leah.

Leah thankfully seemed to pick up on that. “How about Fatin and I leave you to…” She gestured awkwardly, “whatever the fuck this is.” Leah grabbed Fatin’s hand when the girl made no move to leave with her, “come on.” She said, not letting go of Fatin’s hand as they walked away.

Shelby waited until they were out of earshot, “hand holding. That’s good for you in our bet.” She smiled, waiting for Toni to come sit with her on the rock.

Toni took a few more deep breaths, and nodded, trying to force a smile, but she couldn’t do it.

“Love, what’s wrong?”

Toni growled and started pacing in front of her, “fucking Martha.”

Shelby frowned, Toni had never once spoken ill of her best friend. “Is she okay?”

Toni stopped pacing and looked at her, “yeah, she’s physically fine. But she just did a serious number on my head.”

“What did she say?”

Toni blushed and stared down at her feet, embarrassed to be this worked up over something that might genuinely never happen. “She said if we get rescued, there’s a good chance Andrew will be there waiting to pick you up with your family. And she wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to lose my shit if that was the case. I told her we planned to stay together if we ever got out of here and I think she knows that’s what we intend, but that it’s going to be really hard. Particularly when we’ll get no support by the other people in our lives.” Toni knew that she would get support. Literally the only other person in her life that wasn’t Shelby or Martha herself, was Martha’s mom, and Mrs. Blackburn would always support Toni. She’d known that for years now, but she didn’t want Shelby to feel alone.

Shelby bit her bottom lip and nodded, understanding now the rage-jealous combo rolling off of Toni in waves. “Well, what do you think?” She asked finally.

“I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And a year apart is not going to be easy, but you’re worth it.” Toni said without hesitation.

Shelby beamed at her, unable to stop herself. “I agree.”

It was a simple response, but one that stopped Toni in her tracks. “Really?”

Shelby nodded, “without a doubt in my mind.”

“What if Andrew is there with your parents when they come get you?”

Shelby grinned, “I am kissing you goodbye if they have to pry me off of you with a crowbar. I think he’ll get the hint.”

Toni breathed a sigh of relief. “You promise me you’re coming to Minnesota?” She finally plopped herself down on the rock next to her girlfriend.

Shelby wrapped Toni up in a big hug. “Love,” she pulled back and cupped Toni’s cheek, turning her to face her, her green eyes searching light brown. “I promise you. I am coming to Minnesota. We’re going to spend forever together. I just don’t want to chicken out of my own life. I don’t want to back down from them, or just run away. I want David Goodkind to be forced to look at me not be alone like he is so determined to convince me I will be. Then I want to hold my head up high and answer every single family friend when they ask me about my plans for college, that I’m going to move in with my girlfriend in Minnesota and attend college there.”

Toni blushed, she wiped a tear away, “thank you.” She whispered as relief washed the rage away. Shelby pulled her in for a kiss, leaving their foreheads resting together.

“Is there anything else I can do to convince you I’m serious?”

Toni chuckled, looking around the woods. “Are we far enough away from camp for that?”

Shelby shrugged, “I’m not sure that I care.”

_Shelby pulled some of her textbooks out and flipped through her planner. Her history class was going to be the first one up this semester with any sort of test. So, she pulled out blank flash cards and started flipping to the correct chapters in her book. Annie the waitress came back over to their table. Shelby watched her walk towards them this time. She was attractive in her own right, dark hair, olive skin, dark lipstick, with perfect wingtips at the corner of each eye. Shelby would probably not mind her as a person if she hadn’t been so blatantly flirting with her girlfriend, who was already so busy with her blueprints again, she was unaware of Annie’s presence._

_Annie rolled her eyes when she realized that Shelby had set up camp. “Did you like the pie?” She asked Toni, sweetly._

_Toni looked up from her blueprints, “yeah, it was good. I love pie. Babe,” She looked at Shelby pointedly, “did you like the pie? Or did you want anything else? They have good real food here.”_

_Shelby smiled at Toni, her heart skipping at beat at how wonderful Toni truly was. “I did like the pie. Can I have a menu, please?” She asked, turning her smile to Annie._

_Annie grumbled something about being right back._

_Toni grinned at her, proud of herself, “did I do okay? Is that how you want me to handle stuff like that? I’ve never done this before.”_

_Shelby smiled back at her, “you’re perfect.”_

_Toni snorted, “well, hardly.”_

_Annie returned with two menus. She leaned over Toni— who, to her credit looked visibly panicked— to point at something on the menu. “This one is my favorite.” She said, her voice low._

_“Um, okay?” Toni said, her eyes flashing to Shelbys._

_If looks could kill, Annie would had dropped dead on the spot. Shelby cleared her throat, her pageant voice, laced with a thick Texas accent sliced through the booth. “I’d like the caesar salad with chicken please, the dressing on the side.”_

_Annie stood up straight to write it down Shelby’s order, her eyes never leaving Toni._

_“I just want the grilled cheese sandwich with a cup of tomato soup.” Toni said, her eyes never leaving Shelby._

_“I’ll be right back with that.” Annie said, snapping her order book closed._

_“Is anything in your bag worth stealing?” Shelby asked._

_Toni shook her head, no. “No, why?”_

_“Follow me.” Shelby said getting up and storming into the single stall restroom._

_Toni leaned back up against the door as soon as Shelby had locked it. “I’m sorry, love. I didn’t know what to do, she was—“ Shelby cut her off capturing Toni’s lips in her own._

_Toni melted into it instantly a surprised moan escaping her lips. Shelby pinned her hands up over her head. “Don’t move these.” Her fingers made quick work of Toni’s belt, not bothering with the button or the zipper, knowing that her jeans would be loose enough to accommodate her hand._

_“Yes, ma’am.” Toni whispered, gasping as Shelby’s hand slid down her stomach and into her boxer briefs._

_That was all the consent Shelby needed. She slipped two of her fingers up into Toni, her mouth moving to her neck. She sucked at her pulse point, rough enough they both knew it was going to leave a mark. Toni moaned, her hips rocking forward into Shelby’s hand. She had never seen Shelby so determined, desperate, almost to feel her come undone around her. Her fingers pumped in and out, focused on Toni’s g-spot, her thumb, finding purchase on her clit. Toni moaned, so overwhelmingly turned on by the look in Shelby’s eyes, she knew she was going to come embarrassingly quickly._

_Shelby held her gaze, her fingers moving even faster now, timing themselves to the moans that fell from Toni’s lips, her hands still held in place above her head as she had been instructed. A wave rippled through Toni’s body, as her insides clenched around Shelby’s incessant fingers._

_Shelby slowed to a stop when Toni’s hands fell to clutch her biceps, holding herself upright as the orgasm rolled through her, completely out of breath. When the aftershocks stopped fluttering through Toni, Shelby pulled her fingers out, sucking them clean. She bit her bottom lip, blushing. “Sorry, I just—“_

_Toni stopped her train of thought with a kiss, “never apologize for that.” She rested her forehead against Shelby’s, starting to giggle._

_“Why are you laughing?”_

_“Because, you just fucked me in a bathroom and now I get to go eat a grilled cheese sandwich. Not that I like seeing you mad, but there are some benefits to you being jealous.” Toni pressed a quick kiss to her lips, as she buckled her belt back, “come on? You can sit in my lap while we eat if that would make you feel better.”_

_Shelby laughed at that, “deal.” She followed Toni back to their booth and slid in behind her._

_Toni looked at her, her brown eyes widening, “oh, you’re really going to.”_

_Shelby shook her head, “no, but I am going to aggressively make out with you for a bit.”_

_Toni moaned softly into the kiss, her insides fluttering at the taste of herself on Shelby’s tongue. They didn’t break apart until they heard the sound of plates hit the table. Toni didn’t even bother looking up, she kept her eyes on Shelby’s profile as the blonde turned to offer Annie thanks for their food. “Thank you, hun,” her voice was sweet, her accent layered on thick._

_No response was given, but Shelby looked wildly amused when she turned her attention back to Toni, kissing her again without a second thought._

Toni pushed Shelby backwards onto the rock gently, straddling one of her legs, slotting one of her own in between the blonde’s. Shelby gasped when Toni rocked into her, not expecting the delicious friction caused from her shorts. Toni ground into her again, her hand gripping Shelby’s hips, her mouth trailing down her neck. Shelby lifted the leg in between Toni’s ever so slightly, providing a better angle for her to rock back against.

Toni stood quickly, tugging her joggers down and off her body, kicking her shoes off to get them off entirely. Shelby unbuttoned her shorts and lifted her hips when Toni moved to yank them off her, still moving slowly and carefully over her wound. As soon as they were off her, Toni climbed back on top of her, returning to the same position. Their hips ground into each other, finding the perfect friction along each other’s now exposed thighs.

Shelby’s hands clutched Toni’s ribs, needing something to hold onto to keep her rhythm steady. They moaned together, holding nothing back as they thrusted against each other. Shelby could feel Toni’s slick heat coating the top of her leg, she knew she was doing the same to her and the thought spurred her on, rocking harder into her, noting the way Toni moaned deeper at the added pressure. She could feel herself tightening, her movements becoming more shaky, her breathing more jagged against Toni’s leg, her body coiling before release.

“Come with me,” Toni breathed into her ear, pushing them both over the edge.

A hundred sounds and words fell from their lips as they finished together and slowed to a stop. “I love you.” Shelby whispered, pressing kisses to Toni’s face, hoping the more times she said it and the more kisses she gave, the more her girlfriend would believe it.

“Forever?” Toni asked, her eyes searched Shelby’s desperate for confirmation.

“And always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How'd I do?? Hit me up in the comments or on Tumblr: theycallmequeerhat 
> 
> Based off your votes and comments (WHICH I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR) I've got a pretty clear lineup for the next few chapters. As I am snowed in with rolling power, I suppose I'll just keep writing until my laptop dies or my phone dies and can't act as a hotspot to upload. 
> 
> Keep yelling ideas at me, you make me better and make me want to keep going. <3
> 
> Love to you all,  
> Emily


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrapping up the Goodkind's visit here. We'll see them again, don't worry. ;)
> 
> I feel like this chapters a little emo. I think all the snow has me in my feels. BUT You know that means I'll make it up to you next time. More on that at the end!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!   
> Em

Toni carried Shelby back into camp just before the sun set completely. They were never going to make the mistake of getting caught out after dark again. Shelby relaxed into Toni’s back as she walked, her grip loose around her shoulders. “Be nice to Martha,” Shelby reminded her as the fire came into view. “You know she’s going to feel terrible for this morning and you know she didn’t mean to upset you. She would never hurt you on purpose.” 

Toni nodded, too out of breath from carrying her to respond. Fatin and Leah hadn’t carried her too far away, but they had picked an intense path.

Toni had to give credit to them for being able to get her out there. She carefully set Shelby down on one of the big logs they had drug in and pressed a kiss to her lips. “I’m going to grab a sweater, do you need one?”

Shelby grinned up at her with a sweet smile, “can I wear your blue sweater?”

Toni laughed, knowing that she was never getting that sweater back. “Yeah, can I wear your jean jacket?”

Shelby nodded, that’s exactly what she had hoped Toni would say. Toni chuckled again as she ducked back into to their little place. Martha eyed Shelby nervously from across the fire. She looked nauseous. Shelby had seen how filled with rage Toni had been when she had first found her in the woods with Fatin and Leah. She wondered if Toni had lost her temper at Martha already or if she had just stormed off in a rage. Shelby looked over her shoulder, Toni wasn’t out of their lean-to yet, so she waved Martha over. Martha bit her bottom lip, but accepted the wave with a nod, moving to sit next to Shelby.

“I fucked up.” Martha started before she ever sat down. She was almost on the verge of tears.

Shelby wrapped her arm around her shoulders, “no you didn’t. You’re just concerned for your best friend. She knows that.”

“I don’t doubt you, Shelby. You know that, right?”

Shelby cleared her throat. She didn’t know that. Martha honestly had every reason to doubt her. The first thing Shelby had told was that she ‘did real, she did family, she did Jesus, and she did pageants.’ When in reality, so much of her had been fake on that plane. At the time she genuinely believed it had just been her teeth, but now, now she realized it was so much more. Sure, she still did family, but she knew without a doubt they weren’t going to want anything to do with her if they ever made it back. Yes, she still very much believed in God and Jesus, but she had no idea what that looked like any more. She had gotten back in the habit of praying, but her prayers had changed so drastically that even she had a little whiplash about them. As for pageants, Shelby didn’t even know if she would want to be in one ever again. She wasn’t about to get on stage and lie about how she actually felt.

Then after that with her homophobic comments while everyone ate the oysters. Sure, she and Marty had said they were good and had been friendly, even, but Shelby knew that she hadn’t exactly given Martha any reason to trust her, or believe in her. “I know that Toni is basically your sister. And that you will always and have always done everything in your power to keep her safe.” She said finally.

Martha cringed, but Shelby had given her the opportunity to speak and Toni wasn’t here to rage at her, so Martha said her piece, “Toni is all in,” she started, her voice barely above a whisper, “I’ve never seen her like this. And it’s good. Know that I think her current happy mood is good, but you don’t know Toni from before here. I don’t know what all she’s told you, and I’m not about to spread her history to you. I trust she will tell you everything about her past in due time if she hasn’t already. But know this, Toni has serious SERIOUS abandonment issues. You can’t ghost her. Break her heart in a thousand other ways, but you cannot ghost. No matter what your parents say or do or threaten. I don’t care if you have to send a fucking carrier pigeon. You cannot ghost.”

Shelby just nodded in understanding. There was nothing she could in this moment to convince Martha how she felt, “I promise you, Martha. I won’t ghost.”

_Toni climbed into the drivers seat of Shelby’s bronco, wishing she hadn’t insisted on driving the Texans around in the snow, wishing that she wasn’t painfully sober, and wishing Dave Goodkind wasn’t visibly nauseous about the game they had just played at Flannery’s. He pointedly stared out the window._

_Jobeth and Shelby were drunk off their asses and were laughing hysterically about the whole thing. It wasn’t helping the situation at all, but they remained completely oblivious to that. “Last week?” Shelby cackled, “I mean good for y’all. I, for one, am happy for you.” Her words were all slurred together. “It’s gross, but I’m glad you’re happy.” Shelby and Jobeth laughed again._

_Dave’s jaw was clenched tightly, he was taking long deep breaths._

_Jobeth snorted, “your poor daddy. No wonder he didn’t get why I was so confused all morning when he woke me up so you could make your fiancee feel better.”_

_Toni chewed on her thumbnail, shaking her head. She cleared her throat, “well, I wish they would have kept the questions to things like favorite colors.”_

_Dave forced himself to nod in agreement._

_Shelby and Jobeth cackled in the back. Jobeth started up again, “you know what I never got to hear about.”_

_“What’s that momma?”_

_“Your first date.”  
_

_Toni blushed, thinking back to their first date on the island. It had been kind of magical. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling as Shelby launched into detail, the flowers, the vodka they never drank, the fact that they had makeshift outfits of all of the nicest clothes on the island. How Martha had cut her hair to even it all out. How Toni had bribed people for doing their chores so they’d help out, that she had to give up her day off to get the one good pillow they had as a group._

_Jobeth reached up and squeezed Toni’s shoulder. She didn’t say anything, just squeezed. Toni even felt Dave relax a little the more Shelby drunkenly went on. “Toni’s actually a crazy romantic.”_

_Toni chuckled, blushing. Drunk Shelby always cracked her up. She glanced at her in the review mirror. Drunk Shelby also overshared. “For our first Valentine’s Day—“_

_“Nope!” Toni yelled, startling everyone in the car. “How about we don’t talk about Valentine’s Days.”_

_Dave actually laughed at that. “I would appreciate that.”_

_Shelby sank in her seat._

_“I love you.” Toni said firmly from the front seat, finding Shelby’s eyes in the rearview. “It’s not that I don’t want to share our lives with your parents, Love, but maybe not our first Valentine’s Day.”_

_Shelby grumbled from her seat. Whatever she said, Jobeth found hilarious. They fell into an uncomfortable silence. Shelby was drunk and cranky that Toni had stopped her from sharing, Jobeth was drunk and found everything hilarious, Dave still looked pale, like the battle of good versus evil that was raging in his heart had hit the epic final battle, and Toni was just exhausted from not getting enough sleep and then playing that damn game. Thankfully, they finally pulled into the driveway._

_“Well, that was a day.” Dave said, breaking the tension. “Why don't you girls go inside while I have a chat with Toni?”_

_Toni swallowed nervously. Jobeth shot Dave look that screamed don’t fuck this up we just got our daughter back, and Shelby was still grumpy at Toni so she stuck her tongue out at her in the rearview mirror and hopped out._

_“What a game.” Dave said when the door was shut._

_“Sir, I am so sorry.” Toni started, but he held his hand up to stop her._

_“I’m not good at this.” He said, fiddling with the visor over his head. “I know I tense up and I know my initial reactions are usually way too harsh, and I know that you’re the only one who seems to catch them. But I wanted to thank you.”_

_Toni’s eyes widened, “for what sir? Being observant?”_

_Dave shook his head no, “no, for loving my daughter the way you do. And the way you have without fail since, well since that damn island. I can’t promise I’ll ever be comfortable with…” he sighed, cringing, “this morning, apparently.”_

_Toni snorted out a laugh, “sorry.” She said quickly, regaining composure._

_Dave chuckled, too. He cleared his throat, “But I will always be thankful that you stepped up when we—when I— failed. Hearing the little stories, the stuff y’all have done, seeing you two together. I owe Shelby a million apologies, you too, actually. But I felt like at the very least I should say thank you.”_

_Toni blushed, “you’re welcome.”_

_Dave nodded, “Alright, let’s head inside. I’ll stop springing these talks on you now. I just felt like after that game you needed to know I’m not mad at you.”_

_Toni laughed, “I appreciate it. I’m also just like, happy to talk through it with you. I know it’s not easy, and I know you are trying. But thanks, I was a little worried about you after that last round.”_

_Dave chuckled, “yeah, that was… a lot of information to be exchanged at that table. Keep it in your pants the next visit, yeah?” He shook Toni’s shoulder playfully._

_Toni laughed, hiding her face, she groaned, “deal.”_

_When they made it inside Jobeth was busy getting ready for bed, Shelby was already fast asleep on the couch. Dave and Toni both let out a laugh when they saw her. “Do you need help getting her to bed?” He whispered, trying not to disturb her._

_Toni shook her head no, “nah, she busted her ankle on the island and I had to carry her around for a few weeks before we got picked up. She still randomly demands piggyback rides around the house.” Toni spoke so matter of factly._

_Dave knew when they picked Shelby up that she had just gotten off crutches and still had had to go to PT, she also had a gnarly scar on her leg, but he had never learned the whole story. Hearing that Toni had carried her around for weeks was news to him. He watched as Toni slipped an arm under Shelby’s shoulder and her other under the bend in her knees, lifting her effortlessly._

_“I love you.” Shelby mumbled tucking her head into Toni’s neck._

_Toni chuckled, “I love you, too.”_

_“I’m sorry I got cranky.”_

_Toni kissed her forehead, “it’s okay, Love. I’m sorry I stopped your story.”_

_“Did you get in trouble?”_

_Toni grinned at Dave who was still watching them, his eyes watering. “No, Babe, no one is in trouble.” Shelby mumbled something else into her neck, but neither of them could understand her. “Goodnight, Dave.” Toni whispered with a small smile, heading down the hall with Shelby still mumbling into her neck._

_Shelby was the first one awake the next morning, quietly moving through the kitchen to get the coffee pot on. She had on one of Toni’s old Hopewell Lake hoodies and some of her joggers. Toni had learned early in their relationship, still on the island, that Shelby was going to steal all her clothing. Nothing had changed when they moved in together for real. Toni would come home from work and see Shelby studying for her classes in basketball shorts and old t-shirts. It might have bothered Toni if she hadn’t liked it so much._

_Dave rounded the corner into the kitchen, not knowing anyone else was awake. “Oh, hey baby.” He said softly, not wanting to startle her._

_“Mornin’ Daddy.” Shelby said smiling at him._

_“You hungover?” He teased._

_Shelby laughed, “no, Toni made me drink a glass of water and take an ibuprofen before tucking me in.”_

_Dave let out a laugh, of course she did. “I like her.”_

_Shelby beamed, “me too.”_

_The coffee pot finished and let out a low beep to signal it was done. Shelby poured four cups of coffee, leaving Toni’s black and adding a sugar cube to each of the others. She passed one of the cups to her dad. “Hey, dad. There was something I wanted to ask you.”  
_

_Dave took a sip of his coffee. “Okay, what’s that?”  
_

_Shelby took a deep breath, “it’s about my wedding.”_

_Dave smiled, Toni had warned him about this his first night there. He had thought about it all week waiting for this moment. “Okay, baby.”  
_

_“I know I asked y’all to come. And I know you already said yes to that, but I was wondering…” She stuffed her hands into the front pouch of her hoodie nervously, looking anywhere but at her dad, knowing it would hurt too badly if he said no, “would you walk me down the aisle? And like, give me away?”_

_Dave smiled at her, thinking back to what Toni had asked of him, ‘if you’re going to say no, just say you’re going to think about it.’ He chuckled, it felt so long ago. “Can I see the scar on your leg?” He asked._

_Shelby frowned, confused. “Now? I mean, yeah, sure.” She pulled the leg of the joggers up until they could see the four inch scar that ran down her shin. She hopped up on the kitchen counter to make it easier to look at._

_“What happened?” He asked, his voice full of concern_

_Shelby blushed, and recounted the tale of how she and Toni had gone to map the island and got caught out after dark and how Toni had carried her back to camp for literally miles through the forest and along the beach. Then how Dot had stitched it shut and how Toni wouldn’t leave her unattended after that. “Why did you want to hear about my leg?”_

_“Toni mentioned last night that she had carried you around for weeks. I felt horrible for not knowing the story.”  
_

_Shelby laughed, “did she tell you that she built us a little lean-to on the island? Not just for me, she built the shelters for everyone. Technically Fatin and Martha helped her, but Fatin only went to try and get…” She paused, trying to choose her words carefully, “information out of Toni regarding her relationship with me, and Martha only went because Toni’s her best friend. I don’t really think either of them were super useful when it came to shelter building.”_

_Dave shook his head, “no, I didn’t know that.”_

_Shelby nodded, there was so much he didn’t know, so much he had shut out, she was so still mad about some of it. “Did you know she wrote me a letter every single day until I moved up here? And even now, because she’s usually up first to go to some job site, she still leaves me letters to read every morning on the bathroom counter.”_

_Dave’s jaw clenched, he could feel the shift in Shelby, the anger he had expected from her cut under her words. “No, I didn’t know that.” He cleared his throat, “I thanked her last night. For stepping up, for loving you like she does.”  
_

_Shelby blushed and pulled her pant leg back down, sliding off the counter._

_“She deserves you.” He said finally, he shrugged, “maybe she’s earned you? I don’t know how to word it. But yes, I’ll walk you down the aisle. And yes, I’ll give you away to Toni Shalifoe. Lord knows she’s done a better job of protecting you than I have.”_

_Relief washed over Shelby. A knot she didn’t know she had carried for literal years of her life unclenched in the pit of her stomach. A tear fell down her cheek, she quickly pulled the coffee cup out of her dad’s hands before she crashed around him in a ferocious hug. “Thank you,” she whispered._

_Jobeth emerged from the guest room to find them hugging in the kitchen. They both quickly wiped tears away when they saw her. “Sorry, mom.” Shelby said with a laugh. She handed her a cup of coffee._

_“Is everything okay?”_

_Dave grinned, “I get to walk our baby girl down the aisle.” He wiped away another tear, “everything is great.”_

Toni grumbled as she stepped out of their hut, tugging on the jean jacket, “why are girls jackets always so damn short. It’s a jacket, not a crop top.” She handed Shelby her blue sweater, which she tugged on immediately. Toni couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face every time Shelby wore something that belonged to her. “Hey, Marty.” Toni said softly.

Martha moved to stand, to give Toni her seat next to Shelby, but Toni stopped her with a wave of her hand, choosing instead to sit on the ground in front of Shelby, leaned back up against the log. Toni’s checked her wound again since it was right there next to her, pleased with how it was looking. “Shit, babe. I forgot to find you a stick to be a crutch.”

Shelby quickly ran her fingers through Toni’s hair, “it’s alright, love. There’s always tomorrow.”

Martha watched Toni, already at ease, content on the ground in front of Shelby as she ran her fingers through her hair. She hoped Toni and Shelby were both right, that nothing Shelby’s parents could say or do could keep them apart.

Shelby grinned over at Martha breaking her from her thoughts, “want to supervise while I try to double french braid her hair?”

Martha laughed, “yeah, I can do that.”

Toni wiggled around on the ground in front of Shelby trying to get more comfortable, smiling as Shelby and Martha started chatting away happily behind her.

_Toni’s phone alarm blared at 6:30. She muttered a hundred curse words under her breath as she hit the snooze button, pissed the phone had woken her up from such an amazing dream. She had dreamed about Shelby and getting to see her after eight long months._

_“What time is it?” Shelby asked her accent thick with sleep._

_Toni sat straight up, her eyes scanning the room. She was in a hotel room in Austin. Shelby was still half asleep in the bed next to her, completely naked. Toni’s eyes watered, she was so happy she could cry. She slid back down in the bed and snuggled into Shelby’s side._

_Shelby mumbled happily, fighting sleep as Toni pressed kisses into her neck. “Did you somehow become a morning person?” Shelby asked, her voice catching as Toni sucked on her ear lobe._

_Toni chuckled shaking her head no, “absolutely not, but it’s been so long since I’ve woken up next to you. I’m not about to waste it.”  
_

_Shelby giggled, rolling onto her back and pulling Toni on top of her. “I’m alright with that.”  
_

_“I’m alright with us never wearing clothes when we sleep.” Toni said as she kissed lower, her tongue roaming over collar bones, and shoulders._

_“I’m alright with you waking me up like this forever.” Shelby breathed out as Toni sucked a nipple into her mouth._

_Toni’s hands slid up Shelby’s thighs, pushing them open for her to settle down in between ever so gently. Toni held herself up over Shelby, her hands bracketing the blondes face, she was breathtaking. “I woke up thinking that yesterday was a dream.”_

_Shelby pulled Toni’s face down to meet hers. “You’re really here.” Shelby kissed her again, “this is real.”_

_“Can I?” Toni started, her hands nervously sliding down to Shelby’s hips._

_“Please.” Shelby breathed, letting her legs fall farther apart._

_Toni traced over her body with her fingertips, watching to feel every little bit of her. She slid her hand down through her center, tracing slow circles around her clit, her touches soft and exploratory. She was in no rush. They had an hour before they had to go anywhere. She just missed this, getting to feel Shelby, getting to explore every inch of her._

_Shelby watched Toni, there was something so heavy behind her eyes, something so deep in the fear that last night had been a dream. She took slow steadying breaths, Toni was touching her like Shelby touched herself, but she didn’t want to come too quickly. The look in the golden brown eyes searching her own let her know that Toni needed this. Last night had been about wanting each other, but this morning felt like so much more. Shelby wished she could erase the past eight months, that somehow they could have enough moments like this packed into this week that Toni’s fears would dissipate._

_She pulled Toni’s face back down to kiss her, moaning softly into her mouth, the familiar wave threatening to crash through her body. She clutched Toni’s shoulders, wanting to hang on, wanting to be able to hold out, but Toni whispered I love you and Shelby fell apart._

Toni snored softly, leaned up against Shelby’s good leg. Shelby was on her fourth time through trying to french braid her hair, but she couldn’t get them even. Martha had gone to bed the round before, but Shelby was in no rush to turn in yet. She liked sitting out under the stars with Toni asleep up against her. She felt safe. She felt at home. She leaned down and kissed her on top of the head.

“I love you.” Toni mumbled at the sudden contact.

“I love you, too, Sweetie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still running through that list of tallied votes. I'm not one for spoilers, but I'm sure you can guess where the next chapter is going since I owe y'all some smut lol. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought about Dave and Shelby's moment. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I write Dave as my dad and just love his growth so much. 
> 
> Y'all are the best and make my day every day!
> 
> Stay safe and stay warm,  
> Em


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, so I stopped writing the original Chapter 27 because it was suggested I do a Toni birthday chapter for Erana James's birthday and I whole heartedly agreed with that suggestion. I'll go back to the votes and all those suggestions, but I was on a time crunch for this one, so it took priority. 
> 
> Shout out to CL81 for this brilliant idea. 
> 
> Happy birthday to Erana James. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy,  
> Em

Toni woke up by the campfire, with Shelby tucked into her side, using her shoulder as a pillow, her injured leg thrown over her, her face buried in Toni’s neck.

“Ew. Can’t you take this domestic bliss bullshit to your little hut?” Fatin said, kicking the bottom of Toni’s shoe.

“What the fuck?” Toni mumbled, her eyes blinking open. She looked around very confused.

Shelby sat up straight like a bolt, untangling herself from her girlfriend. “Shit. That’s my fault. Toni fell asleep while I was playing with her hair and then I didn’t want to wake her up just to get her to carry me two hundred feet away. Sorry.” Shelby cringed. She cared far more than Toni about the other girls seeing them share any sorts of affection. Toni got it though, this was all still really new to her and Shelby seemed to be a pretty private person when it came to this sort of thing anyways. Toni wasn’t exactly into PDA, but this situation didn’t bother her at all, it wasn’t like they were naked, or that they had done anything, they had just fallen asleep.

“Can I carry you two hundred feet now if that means I get to go back to sleep?”

“Jesus, you’re too cute with each other. It’s disgusting. How many times do I have to tell you I’m jealous?” Fatin narrowed her eyes at them.

Toni flicked Fatin off, trying to muster the energy to stand.

“Do you always sleep like that? I would have guessed Toni to be the little spoon?” Fatin teased.

“Because she’s smaller?” Shelby asked, lifting herself up the log to make it easier for Toni pull her up onto her back.

Fatin laughed, “no, because you admitted to being a top.”

Shelby’s eyes widened, she felt the blush creep up her neck. She looked around the campsite quickly to make sure no one else was paying attention. Thankfully they weren’t.

Toni shook her head, “nope. Nope. Too fucking early for this. Come on, babe.” She squatted in front of Shelby so the blonde could wrap her arms around her.

_“Take another shot, biiiiittttchhhhh,” Fatin yelled over the pounding music of the club. She clinked her shot glass with Toni’s._

_The rest of the girls cheered, starting a chaotic chanting of shot, shot, shot. Fatin, Dot, Leah, and now Toni were the only ones who were twenty-one._

_The four of them tilted their heads back, the tequila burning their throats. Shelby held her wrist out for Toni, she had a line of salt ready for Toni lick, a lime ready and waiting in her mouth for Toni to bite. The girls whooped loudly, egging them on. They had gotten Shelby really drunk at the hotel before coming out, watching her try to keep her hands off Toni was hilarious for all of them._

_“There’s no way they make it to last call at this rate.” Dot said to Rachel as Shelby drug Toni out on the dance floor by the collar of her black button down._

_“Oh hell no,” Rachel laughed. “Nora and I have a bet going, want in on it.”  
_

_“What’s the bet?” Leah asked laughing as Toni shook her ass into Shelby’s front, “was the bet that they’d dance kind of the opposite of how they are now?” Toni rolled her whole body into Shelby’s front, “I can’t unsee that. I’m going to look over here now.”  
_

_Fatin cackled, “this is answering like ever damn question I ever had about them on that island. We should have just had a dance night.”_

_Dot’s eyes widened, “well they’ve certainly gotten… comfortable with PDA.”_

_Rachel shook her head, trying to shake the image of Shelby spinning Toni around and sticking her tongue down her throat out of her mind. “The bet is how late they last in the club. It’s elven o’clock right now. I’m betting they’re out of here by twelve-forty-five.”  
_

_“I’ve got one-o-three.” Nora said._

_“That’s oddly specific.” Fatin said, “but I have faith they’ll make it to the end.”_

_“You sure about that?” Dot asked, nodding her head in their direction. “I’m not sure that’s even dancing any more. They’re just making out.”_

_“I’ve got one hundred dollars on one-thirty.” Leah said._

_Dot shrugged, “I’ll take that, hundred bucks on one-fifteen.”_

_“Closest one without busting, yeah?” Fatin said._

_“Of course. And no impacting results.” Rachel added, pointedly starring at Fatin._

_The girls had done this since the island. They made silly bets on each other all the time. It was their favorite past time with each other, especially under lighthearted circumstances like this. Usually the winner would use their winnings to buy a shit ton of liquor for their next get-together. Though the one time Marty won, was during their last trip to Denver just a few months prior for Leah’s birthday. She chose to spend the money on weed gummy bears to recreate their island party._

_“I’m going to buy a couple of beers.” Dot said, she eyed Rachel, “you’ve got us all right?”_

_Rachel laughed, “yes, mom. Jeez. Well, I mean, really Shelby has Toni. But I’ve got eyes on everyone else. Even little miss Martha, because I do believe she has met herself a very handsome young man.”_

_Dot spun around so fast she could feel the alcohol in her system. Sure enough, Martha was dancing with a really cute guy not that far away from where Toni and Shelby were making out. “Okay, well now you get to be on don’t let Toni fight anyone duty. I’m going to go grab a round of beers.”_

_Shelby broke their kiss, she was out of breath and it wasn’t from dancing. Toni had a dangerous fire in her eyes that Shelby desperately wanted to help quench. “Can we go now?” Toni asked, her voice heavy in Shelby’s ear, so deep and rough you could hardly hear it over the song pumping through the club._

_Shelby shook her head no. Sighing when she saw Toni pouting. “You promised Marty you’d stay until the end. She lives an hour away from us and we haven’t seen her in a month, babe. You’ll beat yourself up tomorrow.”_

_Toni nodded. Shelby was right, of course. As much as she wanted to be spending her birthday at home in bed with Shelby, they had all agreed to party for everyone’s twenty-first. Dot was first over the summer, and then Fatin followed quickly by Leah, and then Toni. The twins were up next. “I guess, beer then?”_

_Shelby grinned at her mischievously, “what, you don’t want to dance with me anymore?”_

_Toni pressed a quick kiss to her lips, “oh, I want to do so much more than just dance with you.” Toni grabbed Shelby’s hand and turned to lead her back to the other girls, when she saw Martha dancing with a guy who’s hands were traveling dangerously south. “What the fuck?”_

_Shelby grabbed her arm and tugged her back. “No, you don’t get to interrupt that. She’s sober and looks like she is really enjoying it.”_

_“But she’s my…”_

_“Adult sister.” Shelby finished. “And she and Thomas broke up a few months ago. And if she wants to move on with this guy in the club, then she gets to do that.”_

_“But her heart is still broken.” Toni said her jaw clenched._

_Shelby shook her head, “it’s not at the moment.”_

_Toni grumbled, but led the way off the dance floor. Dot handed her a beer as soon as they made it over to the little table they had posted up around. Toni started chugging it promptly._

_“I take it she saw Marty and the guy we’re all calling Marcus?” Fatin asked Shelby.  
Shelby laughed, “yep.”   
_

_“He’s so cute though Toni, why you mad?” Fatin asked._

_Toni set the empty beer bottle down, “because I don’t want her to go from being in love, to heart broken, to upset with herself for having a one night stand with a guy from a bar.”_

_Leah laughed, “I don’t think she’s going to be upset.”_

_Toni’s mouth fell open as Marty leaned up and kissed the guy she was dancing with. Shelby started cracking up. “Love, let it go. Come on, Rachel is in charge, she’ll watch them, we can go upstairs to the little balcony.” Her voice was low and seductive in Toni’s ear._

_“You’re just trying to distract me.”_

_Shelby grinned at her, “is it working?”_

_Toni let out a laugh, “yes.”_

_Shelby nodded in the direction of the stairwell, holding her hand out for Toni. The balcony was dark and filled with other couples looking for dark corners. The bar down below was lit up with lasers and stage lights, but up here, they felt above it all. Shelby slammed Toni up against a wall, her mouth moving down Toni’s neck. “Fuck,” Toni whispered, her fingertips ghosting along the line of Shelby’s skirt._

_“I’m having a really hard time remembering that I’m in public right now.” Shelby said, giggling into Toni’s throat._

_Toni groaned, “I want you so bad I might pass out.” She let her head fall back against the wall._

_“Want to go make use of that obnoxious limo Fatin got for us?”_

_“How is that a question?” Toni eased off the wall, her hand sliding into Shelby’s as she practically drug them down the stairs. She found Dot, “we’re going to go outside for a bit. We’ll be back.”_

_Dot shot her look, but didn’t say anything, just nodded to her and winked. It was Toni’s birthday after all and Dot needed her to last on the premises of the club until one-fifteen. Not saying anything was her way of not influencing their decision._

_Shelby pushed Toni up against the ridiculous white stretch hummer limo, fumbling with the door handle, trying desperately to get it open. It was locked. “What the fuck?” She shook it again. Where was the damn driver?_

_Suddenly the door opened from the inside. Fatin and Leah looking guilty as they crawled out. Toni and Shelby’s eyes widened. Toni clocked several things all at once. Leah’s hair was all sorts of messed up, Fatin’s lipstick was smeared all over her face, and Fatin’s buttons had been done up wrong. Toni and Shelby cracked up simultaneously. “Holy shit.” Toni wheezed._

_“That only took what, three and a half years?” Shelby giggled._

_Toni’s eyes darted between Fatin and Leah, “or has this happened before?”  
_

_Fatin sighed, “okay, look, it happened in Denver.”_

_Toni and Shelby laughed again. Toni shot Shelby a look, “you owe me goat jerky.”_

_Leah’s eyes flashed with rage, “you had a bet on this, really?”_

_“Yeah, but I thought Fatin would hook up with Dot.” Shelby admitted._

_Fatin blushed her eyes looking any where, but at the three of them._

_Toni’s mouth fell open, “did you also hook up with Dot?”_

_Leah shrugged, “Denver was wild.”_

_Shelby doubled over she was laughing so hard, “wait wait wait… did y’all have a threesome in Denver?”_

_“Maybe.” Leah muttered._

_“Who wins then?” Toni asked looking at Shelby._

_“I guess neither of us?”_

_Toni pointed at Fatin, “your buttons are wrong.”_

_“Fuck.” Fatin said quickly trying to fix her buttons._

_Leah nodded at them, “what are you doing out here?”_

_Shelby blushed, looking down at her feet._

_“It’s my birthday.” Toni shrugged, “we came to fuck in the limo. Y’all done?”_

_Fatin smirked, “well... for now. You kids have fun.” She grabbed Leah’s head and drug her back towards the club._

_“That was a lot of information.” Shelby said, still looking shocked._

_“We can process it later.” Toni said pulling her into the limo and shutting the door behind them, wasting no more time on whatever the hell they just witnessed._

_Shelby giggled, her lips crashing into Toni’s. She squeaked as Toni’s hands squeezed her ass. “Happy birthday, Sweetie.” She said in between kisses, laughing as Toni raised her eyebrows seductively, laying back on one of the benches._

_Shelby slammed the lock down on the door and quickly unbuckled Toni’s belt. She knew if they were gone for too long, Martha would get worried and try to find them. She made quick of Toni’s button and zipper, tugging her pants down, letting them pool around her ankles, not bothering with her boots._

_“Here,” Toni said reaching down to undo the laces, but Shelby palmed her chest and pushed her back, shaking her head no._

_“It might be your birthday, but I’m still in charge.” Shelby said, her voice stern._

_Toni licked her lips. She loved it when Shelby got commanding. She nodded, “yes, ma’am.”_

_Shelby sank to her knees, tugging Toni to the edge of the bench, pulling her black boxer briefs down to settle around her ankles as well. Her hands grazed up her thighs, pushing her knees apart. Toni let out a gasp as Shelby dipped her tongue through her folds. Her fingers kneading through Shelby’s shoulder length blonde hair, holding her in place. A moan fell from her lips as a finger slid into her with ease, as deep as it could go, curling up before being pulled back out. A second finger was added on the the second thrust, and a third on the the third. Toni moaned obscenely into the limo._

_Shelby looked up at her and pulled out of her completely, holding her Toni soaked pointer finger up to her lips, “shhh.” She said, eyeing the blacked out window separating their part of the limo from the driver's, unsure if he was in the vehicle or not._

_Toni nodded, understanding._

_Shelby grinned a wicked grin at her before slipping her fingers back in place. Toni moaned again, unable to help herself. She had never been quiet. Shelby stopped her motions, “cover your mouth.” It was another command._

_Toni was feeling feisty though, and honestly enjoyed commanding Shelby’s threats of punishment. She raised an eyebrow, “and what if I don’t?”_

_Shelby set her jaw, “I’ll make you wait until we’re back at the hotel before I let you get off.” She pulled her fingers out again to show just how serious she was._

_Toni gasped as the fingers left her suddenly. She put her own hand tightly over her mouth to demonstrate just how quiet she would try to be. Shelby nodded, satisfied with her efforts. She leaned forwards again, sweeping her tongue up Toni’s center, her fingers pumping back into her. Toni whimpered against her own palm, breathing shakily through her nose._

_Shelby sucked her clit, a moan rippled through Toni’s chest. Shelby stopped, her eyes boring into Toni’s. She shook her head no. Toni nodded, tightening her grip over her mouth, trying to steady herself as Shelby’s tongue stroked across her, her fingers moving steadily in and out. Toni’s free hand knotted through Shelby’s hair again, unable to stop herself._

_Shelby didn’t mind, she didn’t intend to stop again regardless of what noises Toni might make. She didn’t really care, she just knew how much Toni loved being told what to do. She felt a quiver threatening to pulse through her girlfriend she felt her thighs tighten ever so slightly, her heels digging back into the the bench, her fingers tightening their grip in her hair. Shelby sucked again, harder this time, curling her fingers up, feeling Toni’s whole body tighten around her, her insides clutching around her fingers._

_She stroked across her with her tongue, working her through it, trying to read if she’d be able to roll straight through to another. Her green eyes searching golden brown. “More?” She whispered the question._

_Toni nodded, her breathing unsteady, her hand still clamped firmly over her mouth, doing nothing to muffle her moaning. Shelby pushed deeper with her fingers, feeling Toni force her knees farther apart for her. She pumped deeper and faster this time, knowing that was the only way to get Toni off for a second time without stopping. The only thing that could ever get Toni to keep coming was more._

_Toni let her head fall back against the bench, her hips rocking up to meet Shelby’s rhythm and tongue. She could already feel her second orgasm building, rumbling through her core. She came again, biting her own fingers to try and keep herself quiet. She failed at that miserably, but Shelby grinned up at her, no trace of anything in her expression except love._

_“I love you.” Shelby said, her voice thick, her throat coated with Toni’s juices._

_“I love you so so much.” Toni breathed out._

_Shelby pulled out of her gently, licking her fingers clean. She pulled Toni’s boxers back up for her, following with her pants. She bit her lip, watching as Toni laid there on the bench, trying to get her breathing back under control. “Back to the club?” She asked sweetly._

_Toni let out a laugh, “what about you?”_

_Shelby blushed, “trust me, I’m getting off tonight, but there is something very specific I want you to do to me back at the hotel room and I am more than happy to wait for that.”_

_Toni’s eyes widened, she sat up quickly, “what do you want done to you at the hotel?”  
_

_Shelby let out a low chuckle, “it involves your birthday gift.”  
_

_“What did you get me for my birthday?”_

_Shelby shrugged, “I guess you’ll find out later tonight.”_

_Toni looked down at her watch, the one Shelby got her a few years before for Valentine’s Day. It was only twelve-thirty. She groaned, “you’re really going to make me wait like two more hours?”_

_Shelby nodded, “you can have a taste though.” She lifted the hem of her skirt up, revealing the black lace number she was wearing underneath. She pulled it to the side, licking her lips, waiting for Toni to run her fingers through her, knowing just how wet she was._

_Toni’s eyes widened as one stroke through Shelby coated her fingers. Shelby scooted back before Toni could even touch her properly, correcting her panties and lowering her skirt, smoothing it back out, tugging it down ever so slightly. Toni sucked her fingers clean, the taste of Shelby bringing another moan to her lips._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, opening the limo door and hopping out. If she didn’t get out now, she’d let Toni do whatever she wanted to her, and as much as Shelby would enjoy that, she had a plan for exactly how their evening would go and she knew this was just beginning._

Toni laid down on the cool ground of their lean-to, holding her arms open for Shelby to crawl into her spot, tucked into her shoulder. Shelby smiled, laying down on top of Toni. “Sorry I let us fall asleep out there, love.” 

Toni shrugged, “I don’t mind.”

Shelby pressed kisses into Toni’s neck, “I don’t really either.”

Toni chuckled, “I do prefer sleeping in here though.” 

“Oh yeah, you like the privacy?”

Toni shook her head no, “nah, it just…” She stopped talking, her grip tightening around Shelby’s shoulders.

“It just what?” Shelby prompted.

Toni cleared her throat, “it’s really cheesy.”

“Say it? It’s just me.” 

Toni nodded, “It’s just that I finally feel like I’m home."

Shelby leaned up and kissed Toni deeply, “I know exactly what you mean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personal Note:  
> As a Texan, this has been a wild week. I (thankfully) have power and water and enough space to house some of my friends and their fur babies. It's been stressful and confusing, but you lovely people have provided an entertaining and welcoming outlet. I can't thank you enough. If you're a vibes or prayers or good thoughts type of being, us Texans could use them. More snow is expected to hit in the next few hours and we're wildly unprepared. 
> 
> Story Note:   
> Thanks again for reading and commenting. Your thoughts and support bring me more joy than you can ever know. 
> 
> Up next, I'm going back to those votes from a few days ago. A lot of you said all of the above. :) As I'm snowed in with nothing else to do, you shall have all of the above. I'm working through them, trying to keep the chaos semi-organized. Thanks for taking this fun detour with me for Erana's birthday. 
> 
> Stay safe, stay warm, and spread love,  
> Emily


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've gone back to the votes and requests I got from the choose your own smutty adventure chapter. With that, I hope y'all enjoy. 
> 
> Shout out to EstefGzlz for helping with this one! Couldn't have done this without you, friend.
> 
> Thank you all for reading,   
> Em

Toni woke up for the second time that day on her side with her back tucked tightly into Shelby’s front. She laughed to herself knowing that Fatin would never stop giving them shit if she saw her curled up in front as the little spoon. She heard Shelby mumble when she moved, the hand stuffed up under her shirt tightening its grip across her abs, pulling her impossibly closer. “Don’t get up yet.” Shelby whispered in her ear.

Toni chuckled and rolled over to face her. She leaned up and kissed Shelby’s cheek, her beautiful girlfriend had yet to open her brilliant green eyes. “Okay, babe. I won’t get up until you’re ready. It’s not like we have a whole lot to do today.”

“What chore do you have?” Shelby asked, her eyes still closed, her voice heavy with sleep. She had stayed up way too late looking at the stars and dreaming of her future.

“Ugh.” Toni mumbled, “laundry.”

Shelby let out a laugh. It was everyone’s least favorite chore. It was the most time consuming and physically demanding. It was one thing walking through the woods near them and grabbing a bunch of sticks or walking over to the waterfall to fill up the water bottles. But the laundry was an actual chore, it took up the better part of the morning. “Before you do that, do you want to help me make a crutch of some sort? I’ll come help you if you do.” Her eyes blinked open for the first time, searching for Toni’s.

Toni blushed and grinned at her. “I would love that. Should we get moving?”

Shelby shook her head no, closing her eyes back and pulling Toni tighter to her chest, “More snuggles first please.”

Toni peppered kisses down her neck, “trust me love, I’m in no rush.”

  
_“That went really well.” Toni said as she clipped Shelby’s key’s to her hook in the entry of their house. They had just returned from dropping the Goodkind’s off at the airport. Toni shook out of her heavy snow coat and hung it up in the entry closet, hanging Shelby’s up along beside it._

_Shelby wrapped her arms around Toni’s waist, resting her chin on Toni’s shoulder, pressing kisses into the side of her neck. “I think I’m in shock.” Shelby said with a laugh, feeling lighter than she had felt in years._

_Toni spun around to face her, wrapping her arms around her neck. Shelby let her forehead rest against Toni’s. “I can’t believe how much I like your dad.” Toni said with a laugh. “Like after everything that’s happened and all the years of trauma, I just genuinely like the guy now.”_

_“He said yes.”Shelby breathed out, bouncing on her feet. “I asked him to walk me down the aisle this morning before you woke up. I asked him to walk me down the aisle and give me away to you and he said yes.”_

_Toni’s eyes watered immediately. She knew Shelby had waited to say anything because she knew it would send them both into a round of tears. “Love, I’m so happy for you. For us. Holy shit. Dave fucking Goodkind. What a man.”  
  
_ _“You know this was all you, right? Like you won him over.” Shelby pulled Toni into a kiss salty with tears._

_Toni laughed, “he’s done a lot of work on himself, babe. I don’t think it was all me.”_

_Shelby pulled Toni in for hug so tight, they both stopped being able to breathe, “but he wouldn’t have said yes if it wasn’t YOU he was giving me away to. He said you’d earned me. That he could see how much you have always loved me, that you’d done a better job of it than him.”_

_Toni was glad Shelby was holding on to her so tightly, she might have fallen down from that if she hadn’t been. She took a steadying breath, something else had been on her mind and she figured now was a good time to bring it up. “Since we’re already crying and emotional…” Toni said wiping her eyes._

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, unsure as to where this was going, “yeah?”_

_“Your mom. She said that thing about wanting grandkids.”_

_Shelby’s eyes widened, “it’s okay, love. I know how—“_

_Toni shook her head no, “no, I wasn’t ready to talk about it before. I wasn’t ready to even think about it, but that’s not fair to you.”_

_“Sweetie, I know how rough your childhood was.”_

_Toni smiled at Shelby softly, feeling a fresh round of tears well up in her eyes. “I want a family with you.”_

_Happy tears streamed down Shelby’s face. Toni reached up to wipe them away, “if it’s okay with you, I’d like to adopt. I want to keep a kid or kids if you want a lot of them, from having to go through what I went through.”_

_“You know we don’t have to, right? Like just because my parents want us to, doesn’t mean I would demand that. I want to spend my life with you, period.”_

_Toni nodded, wiping her tears with her sleeve. “I know, Love. I just can’t help but think how cool it would be to raise a whole human with you. Like the right way, with a lot of unconditional love, and a lot of support, and going to all their games or clubs or dance recitals and doing all the stuff I wish my parents had done for me. I used to be so scared because I didn’t have anyone to look to to know what to do. But I mean, we can learn that together. Right?”_

_Shelby choked back a sob, “Yes, Love. We can learn that together.”_

_Toni kissed her forehead, “Not any time soon though, we’re only twenty-two. We’ve got like ten years to decide how many we want and figure out the adoption process. I just wanted you to know that I want that. I want all of it. And when your mom said it, I immediately knew how I felt about it, but I didn’t want to do this in front of them.”_

_Shelby let out a laugh, “I appreciate that. Ten years is fine with me.” She took a deep breath, her heart was so overflowing with joy she thought it might burst. “I love you so much.” She pulled Toni in for a passionate kiss, trying to articulate all of her hearts emotions with her lips._

_She pushed Toni back against the entry way wall, never breaking their kiss. Toni moaned softly in surprise when her back hit the sheet rock. Shelby’s hands slipped up under Toni’s shirt, still cold from the cold snowy Minnesota day. Toni gasped at how cold they were, her abs tightening under their touch. “Jesus, Love, you’re so cold.”_

_“Warm me up?” Shelby asked, her voice soft and raw with emotions._

_Toni nodded, her lips retuning to Shelby’s, her hands sliding down her thighs, lifting her up. Shelby wrapped her legs around Toni’s waist as Toni carried her towards their bedroom. They had had a lot of sex in their five year relationship. So much so, that it was easy to categorize the sex they had. Some of it was playful and fun, some of it was straight up fucking, but this, without question, fell into the category of making love._

_Shelby’s hands pulled Toni’s sweater up and over her head, letting it fall to the floor of their hallway, her lips returning to Toni’s, slow and passionate, her hands, tangling in thick dark waves. Toni leaned back as Shelby lifted her own sweater off, letting it fall to the floor behind them. Her hands raked up Shelby’s back, unfastening her bra with ease, casting it aside as she ducked out of it. Letting her own fall the floor along with it._

_Toni kicked out of her shoes in between steps, careful not to trip and take them both down. She felt Shelby do the same, locking her ankles back in place around her waist. She laid her back on the bed gently, her fingers making quick work of Shelby’s jeans, pulling them down her legs slowly. Shelby sat up and unfastened Toni’s belt and button, pressing kisses to her stomach as her hands tugged Toni’s pants and boxer briefs down and off her hips._

_Toni stepped out of them, leaving them in a pile on the floor, climbing into bed next to Shelby, pulling the covers up and over them. “I love you.” Shelby whispered in between kisses, her green eyes still filled with water, threatening to spill over._

_Toni kissed her forehead, “I love you,” she returned, smiling softly as Shelby pulled her closer, her cold hands drifting to the heat of Toni’s lower back._

_Toni rolled on top of her, letting her body rest on top of Shelby’s, her warmth radiating down into the blonde beneath her. Shelby sighed contentedly, her hands tracing up Toni’s sides and back down to her ass, squeezing gently. Toni’s heart was pounding in her chest. There was so much love and emotion passing between them, her hands were a little shaky as she traced her fingertips down Shelby’s jaw line and across her collar bone._

_Shelby’s eyes closed as she took a deep breath, a single happy tear slipped out at the corner of her eye, she felt Toni’s finger wipe it away. She lifted a leg up in between Toni’s, her fiancee immediately rocking forward against it. Toni leaned down and kissed her, her tongue searching for Shelby’s, moaning as Shelby rocked up to meet her._

_Their touches were soft and sweet, patient and knowing. Toni kissed every inch of Shelby’s skin, gentle kisses, filled with love instead of their usual hunger. Shelby was already shaking by the time Toni’s tongue slipped between her folds, pushing her over the edge with the first sweep across her clit._

_When Shelby’s had stopped shaking, Toni kissed down her thighs, and down the scar on her shin, seven kisses for each stitch from all those years ago. “Hey, Love?” Shelby asked, her emerald eyes threatening to spill over again, “can you hold me?”_

_  
Toni smiled at her, moving up to lay next to her, opening her arms for Shelby to curl into her shoulder, her breathing still off balance from her orgasm. Toni pressed kisses to her forehead._

_“I can’t believe he said yes.” Shelby said with a laugh. “I can’t believe you want kids.”_

_Toni chuckled, “me either, honestly.” She teased, getting Shelby to giggle._

_“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.”_

“Do you think we should get up?” Shelby asked after they had snuggled for what felt like another couple of hours.

Toni shrugged, not moving from her place nestled into Shelby’s chest. “What is time?”

Shelby laughed, “Are you trying to get philosophical?”

Toni giggled, “no, I’m trying to find reasons to not have to get up. One day, when we’re off this island and living together for real can we just spend a day in bed together not doing anything other than cuddling and sleeping.”

“As many days like that as you want, Love.”   
  
Toni grinned, planting a kiss on the underside of Shelby’s jaw, “don’t say that, I’ll never let you out of bed.”

“You say that like it’s a threat.”

Toni laughed, “not a threat, Love, a promise.”

Shelby giggled, tilting her head back for Toni to continue to press kisses into her neck. “I guess that’s safer and easier than having to hike up mountains for alone time where we could potentially injure ourselves. I think dreaming about the days where we can just exist together without worry of anyone seeing us or knocking on our lean-to and relaxing all day in the warmth and safety of our own space seems a little far fetched.”

Toni hummed, nipping at Shelby’s throat, “but also so so nice.”

_Shelby’s phone rang for the second time in her pocket. 'Wifey' flashed across the screen. She frowned, Toni knew she had an important meeting with a client today about an upcoming case. It wasn’t like her to call twice in such quick succession either. Shelby looked at her watch, she had ten minutes until her meeting was supposed to begin. She leaned over to Mike, her boss and the head of the legal counsel. “Do you care if I step outside to take a phone call?”_

_Mike shrugged, “no, that should be fine. We can just chat until you get back.”  
  
Shelby smiled at him gratefully, “thanks, Mike.” She stood from the long wooden boardroom table and made her way into the hallway, answering the call. “Hey, Love.”_

_“Umm, excuse me, but is this Mrs. Goodfoe?” A man’s voice rang out in her ear. All of the sudden Shelby could feel her heart pounding in her throat._

_“This is she.” She said doing her best to keep her voice calm._

_“Hello, ma’am. This is Cameron Wilson, Toni’s coworker. There’s uhh..” he took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh, “there’s been an accident. It’s looking like she’s going to be okay, but they’re taking her to the Regency Minneapolis Hospital now to run some tests and make sure the burn is just superficial. I’m following the ambulance now.” Shelby cleared her throat, trying to keep the panic down, Cameron said she should be okay. She had to focus on that and then figure out how to get to Toni._

_“Hang on, Cameron, let me grab my things. Which hospital was it again?” Shelby could feel the tears streaming down her face as she pushed back into the boardroom, but she didn’t care. She quickly scribbled down the name of the hospital and Cameron’s call back number. “Thank you, Cameron. I’ll be there right away.”_

_Her eyes flashed, to Mike, “I have to go, it’s Toni.”_

_He just nodded, “absolutely, keep me in the loop.” He said as Shelby stuffed her stuff back into her briefcase and took off down the hall._

_She pulled into the hospital thirty minutes later, Cameron had called her back on her way and told her Toni had remained conscious the whole time which apparently was a really good sign. Shelby sprinted into the ER, her eyes scanning the room for the intake desk, every prayer she had ever learned being chanted in the back of her mind. “I’m looking for Toni Goodfoe.” Her voice was panicked, she was trying not to have a breakdown in the entrance._

_“Shelby?” A familiar man’s voice called out from behind her._

_She spun to see a young man standing up and walking towards her. He was in a uniform identical to the one Toni put on every morning. His work shirt dirtier than any Toni had ever worn home. She wondered what on Earth they had gone through today. “Cameron.” She said wrapping her arms around the young man, much to both of their surprise._

_He looked overwhelmed. “She’s in the middle of a few tests.” He said his hand worrying the back of his neck._

_Shelby nodded, wiping the tears away. She turned her attention back to the intake desk, “I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do. How do I make sure we know the second she gets out the tests?”_

_The nurse looked at her, “are you her sister or something?”_

_Shelby’s jaw flexed, “no, ma’am. I’m her wife.”_

_Thankfully, the nurse looked unfazed, she nodded understandingly, “the second she gets out of her tests we’ll let you know. She doesn’t have a room yet, so if you wouldn’t mind waiting out here. Can I get you to fill out some forms for us?” She handed Shelby an intake form with all the basic information about Toni she needed to fill in._

_She filled it out easily, Toni Elizabeth Goodfoe, yes, married, twenty-six, five-foot-three, brown eyes, birthday, November sixth, it was all stuff Shelby had known for years. She wished the form had been more distracting, she thought as she slid it back across the desk._

_Shelby paced in the waiting room, too much energy shooting through her to sit. Cameron watched her pace, not knowing what he should be doing under these circumstances. “Can I get you a snack?” he asked finally, scratching the five o’clock shadow of a beard he sported._

_Shelby looked at him, her eyes watering. She nodded, “can you see if they have any Takis?”_

_He chuckled, “Toni’s addicted to those things, she gets a bag every day at lunch.”_

_Shelby laughed, “yep, with an orange gatorade.”_

_Cameron stood. He put his hand on Shelby’s shoulder before walking down the hall to the vending machines, “I really think she’s going to be okay. She stayed conscious and it was flash burn. No entrance and exit wound.”_

_Shelby nodded, “where did it hit her? Like what touched the electricity?”_

_Cameron nodded, understanding what Shelby was asking, “it was her hip. She was installing wire, normal day at the office, only some fucking idiot flipped the breaker back on without checking to make sure we were clear. Her hip was touching one of the wires when it got flipped and she fell of the scaffolding we were on.” He looked down at his feet. “I think her right arm might be broken, but I really think that’s going to be the worst of it. It’s just a house we were wiring so, just normal grade cable, a 500 volt line, so right at almost a low voltage shock.”_

_Shelby breathed a sigh of relief. She would take Toni with a broken arm any day than Toni with organ failure. “Thanks Cameron.”_

_He smiled at her, “not a problem, ma’am.”_

_By the time he returned, holding a few bags of Takis, and a couple of orange gatorades, they heard the nurse call out, “Goodfoe?”_

_Shelby rushed to the desk, “Goodfoe, that’s me.”_

_The nurse nodded, “okay, she out of testing and they’re taking her into a room now, Kevin will help take you to her. You should be able to discuss her results with the doctor there.”_

_Shelby moved to follow the man is scrubs with the ID badge reading 'Kevin.' She spun back to Cameron, realizing she was leaving him behind._

_Cameron nodded at her, “it's okay, I’ll be here.”_

_Shelby nodded, her heart pounding again. “Thanks, Cameron. I’ll come let you know what I find out.”  
  
He smiled, “no rush. I’ll be here.”_

_Shelby followed the nurse back to a small personal room, “Sweetie?” Shelby called out before pulling the curtain back. Tears fell from her face as soon as she saw Toni. She looked so small in the hospital bed, her right arm had already been casted around the wrist and then held up with a sling._

_“Hey, Love.” Toni croaked out, her eyes filling with tears when she saw the worried look on her wife’s face._

_Shelby cupped Toni’s cheeks pressing kisses into her forehead. “I was so worried.”_

_The doctor cleared his throat behind her. Shelby spun quickly, her fingers lacing with Toni’s left hand. They braced for the results together._

_“Well, it’s practically a miracle.” He started, putting x-rays and CAT scans up on a back lit light board on the wall. “You got hit on the left hip and fell six feet from the scaffolding. The way you landed, you broke your right wrist in two places, here and here. You also dislocated your shoulder. As for the shock, other than a pretty nice burn on your hip, you seem to be fine. We’d like to keep you over night, due to how high the voltage was, but all of your organs appear to be working just fine and you don't appear to have hit your head in the fall.”_

_Shelby breathed a sigh of relief. Toni’s hand squeezed hers just the tiniest bit harder. “So keeping her over night is…”_

_“Entirely precautionary. Electrical injuries can cause harm after the fact, we want to make sure that doesn’t happen.”_

_“Thank you, Doctor.”_

_He nodded politely, “I’ll clear out of here, we’ll be back to check on you in about an hour.”_

_“Oh, love, I was so worried.” Shelby said, pulling Toni gently into a hug. Toni’s left arm locking into place around her waist._

_“I’mso sorry, babe.” Toni said, her eyes filling with tears. “I promise we were careful, we had the breaker box locked and tagged out. I don’t know why or how they were able to flip it on.”_

_“Love, it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize. I’m just so glad you’re okay.” Shelby kissed her gently, like Toni was made entirely of glass. “Can I see your hip?”_

_Toni nodded, “it’s going to be all bandaged though,”_

_“That’s okay, I just…” Shelby pulled the thin hospital covers down Toni’s body, carefully lifting up the bottom of the hospital gown. The doctor had shut the door on his way out, so she wasn’t too concerned with exposing Toni to half the hospital. The bandage covered a lot of Toni’s left side, from her ribs down to the top of her thigh. Shelby’s hands were shaking. She wanted to see it, but knew she should disturb it. “We’re going to have to get them to teach me how to change these.”_

_Toni studied Shelby’s face, seeing all the fear behind her eyes. “Hey, Love, look at me?”_

_Shelby looked up at Toni._

_“I promise you this much of me isn’t burned, they got a little extra with the bandages because the ointment they were putting on it felt so good and it felt like half my body was on fire. I think they were just being nice. The burn is like half this size.” A tear fell down Toni’s cheek._

_“What is it, Sweetie? Are you in a lot of pain? Do I need to get the doctor?”_

_Toni shook her head, “no, I’m being ridiculous.”  
  
Shelby frowned, “you’re not being ridiculous, you’ve just had a really traumatic day, you’re allowed to cry.”_

_Toni bit her bottom lip. “Are you still…” she sighed, “fuck I’m stupid.”_

_Shelby shook her head, “Love, what’s going on?”_

_“What’s going on is you’re panicking about my injuries, and I’m panicking that you’re not going to be attracted to me anymore because I’m all burned and mangled now.”_

_Shelby leaned down and kissed Toni’s lips, the salt of their tears mixing together. “Toni Goodfoe, if you think for one second that you’re not the sexiest person on the planet to me, then I might have to agree with you that you’re being ridiculous.”_

_Toni blushed, visibly relaxing, “thank you.”_

_Shelby smiled at her sweetly, pulling the hospital gown back down and the sheets and blankets up. She kissed Toni gently, hoping to reassure her. She broke their kiss after a few minutes, “I need to go fill Cameron in.”_

_Toni’s eyes widened, “Cam’s here?”_

_Shelby nodded, “yeah, he’s incredibly nice.”  
  
Toni nodded, “he’s really great. I’m glad you got to meet him.”She chuckled, “I can’t wait to rub it in his face that I was right about how hot you are. He said there was no way I was able to pull a girl as hot as youwhen I showed him a few of our wedding photos.”_

_Shelby laughed, glad that Toni was back in a joking mood. “Do you want me to let him come back here?”_

_Toni nodded, “yeah, if that’s okay with you. I want to thank him for calling you and following the ambulance.”_

_Shelby nodded and stepped out into the hallway. She found Cameron exactly where she left him, seated in the waiting room. “Hey, Cameron?”_

_He looked up, practically jumping to his feet. “Is she okay?”_

_Shelby nodded, “she’s going to be just fine, she wants to say thanks, if you want to see her.”  
  
“Yeah, of course. Lead the way.” Cameron carried all the snacks down the hall to Toni’s room._

_Her eyes lit up when she saw them, “fuck, I knew we were friends for a reason.” Toni said when she eyed all the Takis._

_“I’ll give y’all a minute. Love, do you care if I tell Martha and my parents?” Shelby asked._

_Toni shook her head, “nah, they should know. Make sure Marty knows I’m okay. You know she’s going to want to come see me and with the little one... I just don’t want her to have to make that trip with baby Marcus for no reason. You should call Fatin, too. You know she’ll be salty if you tell Martha and not her.”_

_Shelby laughed at that and nodded, stepping back out of the room. She decided to call Martha first. Martha was going to be the most panicked. “Hey Shelbs, what’s up?” Marty said when she picked up. Shelby could hear baby Marcus making a lot of noise in the background and what sounded like Zach, Martha’s husbands laughing loudly._

_“Let me preface this with everything is okay, she’s okay, i just wanted to loop you in that Toni hadan accident at work and has a broken wrist and a pretty nasty burn on her side. She’s going to be fine. We’re going to stay at the hospital overnight just to play it safe, but I wanted to let you know, because, well, y’all are basically sisters.”_

_All the background noise at Martha’s disappeared. “what happened?” She asked, her voice worried._

_Shelby recounted the tale to Toni’s best friend._

_“I can come tomorrow, bring y’all some food. Make Toni her favorite tacos.”_

_Shelby shook her head, “no, Marty, you don’t have to do that. I know you have baby Marcus and that Zach has to go to work. What if y’all came this weekend? Give Toni a few days to get back to moving around and that way Zach can come with you?” Shelby and Toni always made an effort to include Zach. They really liked him and they felt bad that since Martha was the only other girl married out of the unsinkable eight, Zach still wasn’t invited to all their little reunion adventures._

_Martha sighed, “that’s probably a better idea. I know Zach would appreciate it.”_

_Shelby nodded, “I’ll keep you posted on Toni and I’ll have her call you as soon as she’s up for it.”_

_“Thank you, Shelby. Ireally appreciate you letting me know.”_

_“Of course Marty, we love you.”_

_“I love y’all too.”_

_“Give baby Marcus kisses for us.”_

_Martha laughed at that, “okay, will do.”  
  
Shelby bit her bottom lip, deciding to call Fatin next._

_“How’s my second favorite Goodfoe?” Fatin asked with a laugh when she picked up._

_Shelby chuckled, Fatin had been her maid of honor, but always liked to pretend that she preferred Toni, “better than your favorite Goodfoe.”_

_“Oh yeah, why’s that?”_

_Shelby cleared her throat, “do not panic, she’s fine, we’re just kind of in the hospital right now because she had an accident at work.”_

_“Oh my God, tell me she didn’t lose any fingers.”_

_Shelby actually laughed at that. “Good Lord, no Fatin, she didn’t lose any fingers. She broke her wrist and has a pretty gnarly burn on her hip, but is fine other than that.”_

_Fatin breathed a sigh of relief, “thank god. All that will heal.”_

_Shelby sighed right there with her, she had a point, “yeah, she will heal.”_

_“I can get a flight out there tomorrow.”  
  
Shelby smiled, she loved how much their friends wanted to take care of Toni. “I told Martha to come this weekend.”_

_“What day is it? Tuesday?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Want me to come Thursday?”_

_Shelby nodded, “yeah, actually that would be awesome.”_

_She heard the clacking of a keyboard, “cool. I justbooked a flight and a rental car. I’ll land Thursday at ten am. That’ll get me to your house at what, like eleven?”  
  
“That sounds perfect. Thank you Fatin.”_

_“Of course, girl. You know I love y’all.”_

_Shelby’s eyes watered, “we love you, too.” Shelby chuckled, “you can bring Leah, too. If that’s still a thing.”_

_Fatin groaned, they had never really acknowledged the fact that every time there was a reunion, Fatin and Leah would hook up. No one had ever brought it up, they all just pretended like no one knew about it. “I’ll see if she wants to come.” Fatin said finally._

_“Alright. Let’s stay in the loop. See you Thursday.”  
  
“Yeah, see you Thursday.”_

_She paced in the hallway. She knew she needed to call her parents next. She took a deep breath before dialing._

_“Hey, baby girl.” Her dad answered._

_“Hey, Daddy.”_

_“Y’all want to FaceTime? I can go grab your momma.”  
  
“Uhh well,” Shelby took a deep breath and launched into the story of Toni’s accident. Before they were off the phone, her dad had booked flights for all the Goodkind’s for Monday. Even Spencer and Melody were coming this time._

_Shelby stepped back into the room, smiling softly at Toni. She and Cameron were laughing about something until she stepped into the room. “Do I want to know?” She asked raising an eyebrow._

_Cameron blushed and shook his head, “no, ma’am,” he said. He shot Toni a grin, “Alright, Goodfoe. I’m gonna head out. I’m glad you’re not dead.”_

_“Thanks, Cam. I’m glad I’m not dead, too.”_

_“Shelby,” he nodded, “it was nice to meet you.”_

_Shelby gave him a hug, “it was nice to meet you, too, Cameron. Thank you for coming and for staying.”_

_He nodded, “of course. Your wife’s a badass.”_

_Shelby chuckled, “you’re right about that.”_

_Cameron shut the door behind himself. Shelby kicked her heels off and climbed up on the bed with Toni, opting to navigate the side of her with the dislocated shoulder and broken wrist rather than risk bumping against the burn._

_Toni wiggled in the bed until she was resting her head on Shelby’s shoulder. “What did everyone say?”_

_Shelby smiled and kissed the top of her head, “we’re in for one hell of a week. Fatin and maybe Leah are coming in on Thursday.”_

_Toni’s eyes widened as she looked up at Shelby, “no way?”_

_Shelby chuckled, “yep. Then Martha and Zach and baby Marcus are going to come on Saturday and then my whole family is coming on Monday.”_

_Toni blushed, “holy shit.”_

_“Yeah, holy shit is right. You’ve got a lot of people that love you, you know.”_

_Toni nodded, biting her bottom lip. “Should we call my mom?”_

_Shelby smiled and nodded, “I was going to offer, but I wanted to wait until Cameron left.”  
  
Toni nodded, “thanks, love. Yeah, I’d like for her to know. She can come see me whenever, if she’s up for it.”_

_Shelby smiled, “you can say no, but how would you feel about me inviting her to dinner while my family’s here.”  
  
Toni smiled and nodded. Her mom had been out of jail for six months now and had come over for dinner with Toni and Shelby once every other week. Toni had helped her with rent for the first month while she got a job, and had even cosigned on the apartment for her so that she could stay in a nice place. They still called each other once a week and were really working on building their relationship back slowly. Shelby knew how much it meant to Toni that her mom was trying and staying clean. There was a lot there left unsaid, but Toni didn’t want to say anything that might push her off the wagon, so they mainly just avoided any tough topics and kept it light. “You want to do it for Tuesday night so we have time to talk to your family about what topics we talk about and which ones we should probably avoid with her?”  
  
Shelby nodded, “Yeah, Love. I can do that.”_

_Toni rested her head back on Shelby’s shoulder._

_“God, I was so worried.” Shelby whispered after a while, the tears forming again as the stress of the day caught up to her._

_Toni nodded, “I know, Love. I’m so sorry.”  
  
Shelby cupped her face, kissing her lips gently. “You don’t have to be sorry, sweetie, I’m just so glad you’re okay. I love you with my whole heart. I was so afraid I was going to lose you.”   
  
Toni nodded, understanding. “I was so worried that’s what you were going to think and I had no way of telling you otherwise.”   
  
Shelby smiled softly, kissing Toni again. The steady beeps of the heart rate monitor sped up. Shelby broke their kiss laughing. “Oh I’m going to find that really entertaining.”   
  
Toni giggled, “you’re going to get us kicked out of the hospital.”_

_Shelby kissed her again a little harder this time, the beep immediately increasing in speed. Shelby broke their kiss and raised an eyebrow, “yes, yes I am.”_

Fatin knocked on the wall of the lean-to. “Gooooood Morning, Goodfoe’s are y’all ever getting up? I would really like clean clothes for tomorrow.”

“Did you just call us Goodfoe’s?” Toni groaned, her lips still brushing against Shelby’s neck.

“Yeah, would you prefer Shoni? Shelton?” Fatin laughed, “those are the ones I’ve come up with so far.”

Shelby laughed, “Shoni is the cutest.”

Toni huffed, “I like Goodfoe better.”

Shelby stuck out her bottom lip and Toni rolled her eyes. “We voted on Shoni.”

Fatin laughed, “right on. Y’all ever getting up?”

Toni sighed, “fine. But I’m finding Shelby a walking stick crutch thing first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the warmth and well wishes. After a full day of constant snow, I'm happy to report I didn't lose power or water and my friends made it to their homes safely with their power and water restored. Definitely the most positive day of the Texas Blizzard of 2021.
> 
> I've got a lot I want to do with Toni's injury because I know how much some of y'all have wanted to see it. I'm also going to give y'all the second half of Toni's twenty-first birthday because you all deserve the smuttiest smut to ever smut and I'm here to try and give that to you. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought of this chapter and keep hollering ideas at me!
> 
> Good vibes and love sent back to you all,  
> Emily


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to the sunshine. I wrote this chapter on my back porch while Bosco chilled in a sunbeam. Sorry I didn't get to post a chapter yesterday, I actually went back to work on Friday! Huge HUGE shout out to all those who reached out about the Texas blizzard. I know many are still feeling it, but life for me has thankfully returned to (pandemic) normal. 
> 
> With that, I give you, smut--with little to no plot as a thank you. This idea is one some of you requested in the votes and I honestly thought it be the most fun way to spend my Saturday morning. :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy,   
> Em

Shelby hobbled over to the waterfall with Toni. She was actually doing really well with her makeshift crutches. Toni’s hands were full with dirty clothes, so they walked at a really slow pace,just laughing and joking and enjoying each other’s company. They had come up with a new game to play with each other called “never would I ever.”

“Never would I ever fuck a dude.” Toni said.

Shelby laughed, “I wouldn’t either.” She thought for a second, “never would I ever go streaking.”

Toni looked at her, “what? Why not? I’d go streaking.”

Shelby rolled her eyes, “of course you would. I just can’t imagine exposing myself like that.”

Toni laughed, “well I’m not saying I’d do it at like a public sporting event. I’m saying like at two in the morning, you’d never streak and run down your street with your friends?”

Shelby shook her head, “I take it this is something you’ve already done?”

Toni nodded, “hell yeah, we wait until the dead of winter when it’s super cold so the dare’s not really even about being naked, it’s about—“

Shelby cut her off, “being an insane person who’s going to catch pneumonia.”

Toni laughed, “alright, fine. I won’t streak in the middle of the night in the dead of winter anymore, but you should try it once.”

“You just want to see me run naked.”

“Ummm…. Duh. Holy shit, do it here? Streak here. It wouldn't even be public. Literally no one would ever know, but you could still say you'd done it.”

“I can’t run.” Shelby said crutching along.

Toni giggled, “even better. Takes more balls to be a streaker on crutches.”

Shelby laughed at that, “are you going to be the security guard that tackles me and cuffs me and carries me off the field?”

Toni blushed, her mouth falling open at the thought.

Shelby giggled, “shit, no come back? Wow. I feel victorious.” She teased.

Toni bit her bottom lip, her mind very stuck on the thought of handcuffing Shelby. She filed that away as something she definitely would do, if she ever got the chance.

Shelby cleared her throat, “Sweetie? Your turn.”

Toni blushed again, “right, ummm, never would I ever bungee jump.”

“What? Please? For me? I would love to go, there are so many all over the world that I want to do.”

Toni shook her head with fear, “no, no way. I’m convinced the rope would snap.”

“Sweetie, pleaseeeee.” Shelby begged, tilting her head forward and batting her eyelashes at Toni.

Toni chuckled, “only if you do a Minnesota winter streak when you move up to live with me.”

Shelby rolled her eyes, “and you’ll go bungee jumping with me all over the world?”

Toni swallowed, visibly nervous at the prospect, but yes nodded yes in agreement.

Shelby grinned a wicked grin. “You know, you’re surprisingly easy to—“

“Do not comment on your ability to talk me into things. I already know.” Toni grumbled.

_“Hey, Love?” Shelby tapped on Toni’s door a few times before poking her head into her room._

_Toni looked up from the book she was reading and grinned. Shelby’s hair was wrapped up in a towel, another towel was wrapped around her body. Even from her bed, Toni could see the droplets of water dripping down Shelby’s chest. They had only lived together for a few months, but Shelby refusing to completely dry herself off after showers was one of Toni’s favorite things to learn about her. She stuffed her bookmark into her book and quickly set it down on her bedside table. “Yeah, Babe? You have my complete and undivided attention.”_

_Shelby giggled, “which room are we sleeping in tonight?”  
  
Toni’s heart skipped a beat. She loved that Shelby had made sure that she got her own room and respected her need for her own space. They always slept together, but it was the fact that Shelby still knocked on her door before entering and had helped her frame old movie posters to hang up on her walls and never commented if she let her dirty clothes get a little out of hand as long as they stayed in her room, because she respected that Toni had never had her own room to dirty before. “Can it be mine? I know we slept in here last night, but I already have a warm spot.” Toni smiled at her, opening her arms._

_Shelby blushed, “let me go grab a sleep shirt.”_

_Toni shook her head, “you don’t need one.”_

_Shelby laughed at that, stepping into Toni’s room and letting the towel wrapped around her fall to the floor. She blushed, something about the way Toni’s eyes took their time in drifting over her body still made her breath catch. “I uhhh, I was actually kind of wondering if we might can do something we’ve talked about before. Maybe, if you’re up for it?”_

_Toni raised her eyebrow, pulling the comforter and blankets down next to her for Shelby to crawl in bed. “And? What were you wondering about?”  
  
Shelby bit her bottom lip, scooting in tight to Toni’s side, careful not to take her out with the towel wrapped around her hair. “The vibrator.” Her voice was soft and shy. She was getting a lot better at asking for what she wanted and at telling Toni what to do, but with new things she was much better at showing rather than telling. She was thankful Toni was always so receptive to everything. She felt the brunette melt a little next to her, pulling her in closer to her side._

_“Absolutely, Love.” Toni kissed Shelby’s forehead, trying to reassure her. “Do you want me to grab mine, or did you want to use the one that’s in the black bag in your closet?”_

_Shelby leaned up and kissed her then, so happy that Toni was so comfortable with trying anything and everything Shelby wanted to try. “Yours is closer.”_

_Toni giggled, crawling out of bed. She dug through a little box at the top of her closet and pulled out a purple vibrator. Shelby sneakily scooted into her warm spot, grinning at Toni when she caught her. “You’re going to do that for the rest of our lives, aren’t you?”_

_Shelby laughed and nodded, tugging her hair towel off and holding it up for Toni to drape over something._

_“You’re getting my pillow all wet.” Toni frowned, but Shelby knew she didn’t really mind._

_“It’s only fair. I’m all wet, so…”_

_Toni’s mouth fell open. Any time Shelby said anything dirty, she froze, all of her quick wits and comebacks freezing along with her brain. She cleared her throat, determined to flirt back, “you wouldn’t be all wet if you ever bothered to actually dry yourself off with your towel.”_

_Shelby blushed, “I promise you, there aren’t enough towels in this apartment that could help with how wet I am right now.”_

_Toni dropped Shelby’s hair towel on the floor, not caring to find a place to drape it over, and crawled back into bed. “You win.” She said, her voice rough with desire, her lips crashing into to Shelby’s, their kiss all teeth and tongues._

_The vibrator rolled into Shelby’s side, Toni’s hands too busy tangling themselves in her wet hair to care enough about hanging on to it. Shelby gasped when it touched her side. It wasn’t like the dildos she had purchased, soft and malleable. It was harder, more bulbous, less realistic in shape and texture, but significantly smaller in size. She tugged at the hem of the oversized sweater Toni liked to lounge in, pulling it off her and throwing it across the room. Toni wiggled out of the basketball shorts she had on, lowering herself back down onto Shelby, both of them now completely naked._

_Shelby sighed contentedly at the skin to skin contact, loving how Toni’s taught muscular body still felt so soft against her own, how it still gave when her fingers gripped her hips and ribs and thighs, how her skin still flushed when Shelby’s hands cupped her breasts._

_Toni bit her bottom lip, untangling her fingers, grabbing the vibrator and handing it to Shelby._

_“Why are you handing this to me?” Shelby asked, her voice sounding a little nervous._

_Toni grinned at her, “I’m more than happy to work it in and out of you, but I think you should be in charge if you want to use it on your clit.”_

_Toni loved watching Shelby’s face when she spoke about sex matter of factly. The blush that crept up Shelby’s neck and down her chest made Toni’s heart flutter._

_Shelby took a steadying breath, “okay. So umm.. what do I do, exactly?”_

_Toni nodded, understanding. She took the vibrator back and held it to the soft part of Shelby’s hip. “It has like seven different settings.” She pushed the button at the base of it, feeling the low rumble against Shelby’s hip. Shelby gasped, her whole body reacting to the new sensation. “This is the lowest setting.” Toni pushed the button again, a harder vibration buzzed between them._

_Shelby’s eyes watched Toni’s hand as it gripped the end of the vibrator._

_“This is the medium constant buzz.” She pressed the button again, an even harder buzz sounded out in the silence of the room, “the hardest constant buzz. And then,” she pressed it again, a pulsing pattern rolled into Shelby. “There are some fun patterns.” Toni clicked through them watching Shelby’s reaction to each. “And you turn it off by holding the button down until it stops.”_

_Shelby leaned up and kissed Toni, rocking her whole body into her. “Okay. You’re okay with this, right? Like with me using this?”_

_Toni’s eyes widened, she quickly nodded her head. “Babe, I’m basically drooling at the thought. Yeah, it’s fine. Are you comfortable with me here? It doesn’t make you uncomfortable that I want to watch, right? Like, I am fully prepared to go in you at some point during, if you want, but if not I can just lay next to you and kiss you. Or I can give you the room, if you want to explore by yourself. I’m fine with whatever you want to do.” Toni was about to go into a full tilt ramble so Shelby leaned up and kissed her, feeling her relax as soon as their lips met._

_“Can you stay exactly where you are and we can just take it from there?” Shelby asked, looking up into Toni’s warm brown eyes._

_Toni nodded. She’d happily hold herself up over Shelby for the rest of the night if that’s what Shelby wanted. She watched as the vibrator moved lower between them, between Shelby’s lower lips. She could feel it in her thigh when Shelby pushed the button, both of them gasping at the new sensation._

_Shelby kept her eyes on Toni’s, the feelings of the vibrations against her clit were overwhelmingly wonderful, but they paled in comparison to the look of pure love coming from her girlfriend. She understood Toni’s comment now, about being willing to go in her, her whole body tightened at just the though of how good that would feel. “Fuck, go in me.” She practically begged._

_Toni nodded, understanding, she was careful not to add pressure to the vibrator, more than willing to hold her arm at an awkward angle. She quickly coated two of her fingers in Shelby’s wetness before pressing them into her gently. She could feel the vibrator from inside of her, the feeling making her own juices drip down the inside of her thigh._

_They both gasped when Shelby hit the button again, kicking up the intensity of the vibrations. Between the slow and gentle push and pull of Toni’s fingers and the vibrations on just the exact right spot on her clit, her whole body clenched around Toni’s fingers, the sweet rolling release pulsing through her. She pushed the button one last time, wanting to feel the highest setting, her body shaking through its first orgasm and immediately into a second._

_Toni felt the shift and immediately picked up her own pace to match the vibrator and the roll in Shelby’s hips. Shelby moaned with every breath, a familiar sensation building in her core, “shit, baby, I’m gonna—”_

_“I know.” Toni panted, capturing Shelby’s lips with her own, feeling Shelby’s juices spill out, coating her fingers and her palm as she came for a second time._

_Shelby whimpered as she pulled the vibrator away, turning it off and setting it down next to her on Toni’s bed. She blushed a deep shade of red, she could feel her own wetness coating Toni’s sheets under her ass. Toni gently pulled her fingers out and wiped them on the sheets next to them, her eyes filled with awe and wonder. She eased herself down on top of Shelby, letting her head rest on Shelby’s chest, listening to the sound of her heart pounding in her chest, waiting for her breathing to return to normal. “So…” She started, her wet fingertips tracing patterns along Shelby’s stomach, “how’d you feel about the vibrator?” She teased._

_Shelby let out a full laugh, “I feel like I ruined your sheets.”_

_Toni huffed out a laugh. She shrugged, “I can wash them tomorrow. Thank God we can just move to your room.”_

_Shelby slipped her finger under Toni’s chin and tilted her face up to kiss her. “That was kind of incredible.”  
  
Toni nodded, “I really really agree with you.”_

“Never would I ever root for the Vikings.” Shelby said with a smirk.

Toni almost growled, “do not, for the love of God, say that you’re a Cowboys fan.”

“I used to want to marry Tony Romo.”  
  
Toni practically gagged, “I don’t know what bit of information is worse. The fact that you’re a Cowboys fan, a Tony Romo fan girl, or the fact that I’m not the first Toni you’ve loved.”  
  
Shelby laughed so hard she stopped crutching along beside her, but Toni was so traumatized by Shelby’s statement she didn’t bother stopping to wait for her. “You’re the only Toni I’ve ever fucked.” She called after her.

Toni spun on her heels, letting a low whistle out, “I still can’t believe you say your prayers with that mouth.”

Shelby winked at her, “why’s that? You like it when I do other stuff with this mouth.”  
  
Toni almost dropped all the clothes in her arms.

“You’re off your game today, Toni Homo, I’ve got you all sorts of flustered.” Shelby said as she crutched by her.

“Did you just call me Toni Homo?” Toni laughed.

Shelby giggled, “it was good, you have to admit. I’m a little proud of myself for that one.”

Toni leaned over and kissed her girlfriend on the cheek, “because of its brilliance, we’ll let it slide. But please know, unless the Cowgirls are playing the Vikings, they’re never being play on our TV.”

Shelby giggled, knowing damn well she could convince Toni to play whatever she wanted on the TV.

“Are all your sports teams Dallas teams?” Toni asked, as annoying as the Cowboys and their fans were, she was surprised and excited to find out Shelby might actually watch sports with her.

Shelby thought about it for a second, “I’ve always liked the Spurs more than the Mavericks, and the Astros over the Rangers. So, no, I guess I’m just all over the Texas map for sports.”

Toni’s jaw dropped, “you actually know your sports teams.”

Shelby shrugged, “um, yeah. Is that weird?”

“You’re a literal beauty queen. I didn’t exactly have you pegged as an avid sports watcher.”

Shelby laughed, “I’m not an avid sports watcher, my dad used to take me to a lot of games. I’m a bit older than my siblings. I’m seventeen, Spencer is twelve and Melody is only ten. I have a lot of memories from when I was little of my dad taking me to games so my mom could have some alone time at the house.” Shelby giggled, “I’ve always been a bit of a handful.”

“Glad to know that’s not a new development.”

Shelby giggled, trying to flick Toni off and keep crutching along beside her, “But ummm, yeah, he loves sports, so I got to go with him a lot. That is, until I got to be a teenager and he thought it was more appropriate to take Spencer for father son bonding and then I got left out. All the sudden I got told to go to the mall with my mom and Melody, and Spencer got to go watch the Dallas Stars.”

“You like hockey?” Toni’s eyes widened, “I fucking love hockey.”

Shelby laughed, “of course you do, they’re allowed to fight each other.”

“I’m sorry he cut you out of that.” Toni said, her voice going back to being serious.

Shelby nodded, “it’s okay. When we live together, we can go to all the sporting events you want as long as I get nachos and a pretzel.”

Toni laughed, “that sounds perfect.”

"It really does." Shelby said, smiling at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll go back to injured Toni, and conclude her 21st birthday soon. :) Got some great suggestions for both of those, so kind of already have a loose plan there. If there's anything else you want to see, let me know!! I love y'all's suggestions so, keep them coming!!
> 
> Thank you times a million for reading!
> 
> Hope you're all having wonderful weekends,  
> Emily


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welllll... here's a really fluffy chapter. I got asked for a chance to see Toni's mom and honestly, it's all that came to me today. I let Dave fucking Goodkind have a redemption arc, so Toni's mom gets one too. :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!  
> Em

They kept playing their made up game the whole way back from the waterfall. “Never would I ever ride a motorcycle.” Shelby said.

“What?” Toni looked personally offended. “What about if we didn’t ride through the city, we only did like safer back roads and shit.”

“I like four wheeling, but motorcycles just seem too dangerous to be worth it.” Shelby shrugged.

Toni frowned, “but I want one. You really won’t ride on the back and hang on tight to me sometimes?”

Shelby thought about it, how sexy Toni would look riding a motorcycle. How much fun she’d have just hanging on and letting Toni have all the control. She bit her bottom lip, she had spent most of the trip to the watering-hole teasing Toni about how easy she was to convince and now Toni hadn’t even bothered to day please, she just gave her a look rivaling a kicked puppy and she immediately wished they had a Harley sitting in front of them to fix it. “You might could talk me into it.” She said, not wanting to give in too easily, “but it’ll take a lot of negotiation and kisses and me reserving the right to do it once and never again. And you have to really get your motorcycle license. You can’t be someone who scoffs at that. I’m serious, you have to take a proper course. And wear a helmet. And a jacket and pants and boots every time.

“Would you prefer the bike to have walls and two extras tires too?” Toni teased.

Shelby glared at her, “well excuse me for wanting you to come home safely every night.”

Toni’s snarky response caught in her throat. She thought about how much of her life she spent wishing to have someone just care if she made it home safely. She thought about the foster family she was supposed to be with right now. She wondered if they even knew she was in a place crash, if anyone in her previous life even knew she was lost, let alone on an island in the middle of nowhere. Here Shelby was, upset over a hypothetical situation about the prospect that Toni might not come home. To a home they didn’t even have yet. Toni’s eyes filled with tears. She couldn’t stop them. She couldn’t stop how damn fluffy Shelby made her feel.

Shelby’s eyes widened, “shit, Love. I’ll ride the motorcycle. I just want you safe. That’s all.”

Toni laughed, trying and failing to wipe her tears away, her arms filled with now clean and barely damp clothing. “I’m not crying because of the motorcycle thing, but no take backs, you said you’d ride.”

Shelby crutched closer to Toni, kissing her on the cheek, “okay, Sweetie, do you want to tell me why you’re crying then?”

“Not particularly, no.” Toni laughed, starting to walk again.

“Toni Elizabeth Shalifoe, we have shared all of our deepest darkest secrets, why won’t you tell me why you’re crying?

Toni sighed, “because it’s embarrassing. Because—other than Martha and Mrs. B—you’re the only person in my life who has ever expressed any concern over whether or not I make it home and for some reason, it made me want to cry. It was just really thoughtful and I wasn’t expecting it.”

Shelby leaned up and kissed her on the cheek. “Of course I want you to come home safely. I love you.”

Toni turned her head, her lips brushing against Shelby’s. Toni was very aware that her hands were full and she really didn’t want to have to go rewash anything. “I love you, too.” They kept walking, neither picking their game back up, just enjoying the comfortable silence between them. Toni knew that if she hadn’t had her arms full of laundry, they would have taken a detour right then and there in the woods.

_“Let me go in first and make sure Bosco doesn’t jump on you. I can’t imagine how much that would hurt.” Shelby said as she held the passenger door open for Toni._

_Toni grimaced as she slid out of the Bronco. Shelby knew Toni was sore from her fall on top of the broken wrist and the wicked burn that **was** as big as the bandage had suggested, Toni had just been really self conscious about it already. Either that or she had been trying to down play how bad the burn had been. Shelby hadn’t been sure which it was, but every time Toni came back from another round of testing that morning, Shelby made sure to know just how loved she was and just how beautiful Shelby found her._

_Shelby opened the garage door, pushing Bosco back, heaving a sigh of relief he hadn’t destroyed anything or had an accident in the house. He was left alone far longer than he ever had been before, and Shelby genuinely felt guilty. She was going to have to take him for a really long walk today to make up for it. He seemed to sense something was wrong with his favorite human though when Toni stepped the door, her walk looked like she was limping on both legs and Shelby would have teased her about it if Toni didn’t seem so upset by the whole thing._

_“Come on Bosco Bear, how about you play outside for a minute while I get your momma all set up in bed.” Shelby opened the back door for the dog before coming back to help Toni shuffle into the bedroom._

_Toni looked to be on the verge of tears again._

_“What’s wrong, Love?’_

_Toni shook her head, “it’s silly, I know it is. I just hate being a handful.”_

_“Ummm, hello,” Shelby flashed her wedding band in front of Toni’s face, “in sickness and it health, remember? Three years ago? The rustic wedding of my dreams? You looking sexy as hell in that custom tux, do I need to whip out our wedding photos?”_

_Toni chuckled, wincing as she did, “no, babe, I don’t need to see the photos.”_

_“Also, remember when we had been dating for like... maybe a few weeks when I was trying to flirt with you and I busted my ankle and shin?”_

_“Try a few days into dating,” Toni laughed, groaning immediately, “but yes, I remember.”_

_“Did you forget that you had to carry me all over an actual island for weeks after that and you did and you never once complained.”_

_Toni blushed. Shelby pulled the covers back on their bed, holding her hand out to help brace Toni as she slid under them._

_“I got this, Love. I’m here. I called Mike yesterday, he knows everything. I’ve got all the rest of this week off and there’s just one meeting I have to be at next week, but my family will be here by then. You’re covered. You get to rest up for the next few weeks and then you’ll be good as new, yeah?”_

_Toni grumbled. “Not as good as new.” Her hand fluttered to the burn on her side._

_“Is it bothering you?” Shelby asked._

_Toni sighed, “only my ego.”_

_Shelby giggled at that. “Did you ever hear that chicks dig scars? I’m going to have to fight off even more bitches now.”_

_Toni chuckled, regretting it, “God, the best one was still that waitress. Kind of makes me want a grilled cheese sandwich.”  
  
Shelby let her head fall back with laughter. “Okay, love. I’ll go let Bosco back in and make you a grilled cheese. You want soup with it, or just the sandwich?”_

_Toni grinned at her a small grin, the one Toni reserved for only Shelby._

_Shelby laughed, “Okay, and soup. Got it.” Shelby stopped in the doorway and spun around, “I’m just so glad you’re okay. You’re kind of my whole world, you know.”  
  
Toni shrank back into the pillows, her heart thudding in her chest. “You’re kind of mine.”_

_Bosco joined Toni on the bed, somehow sensing that he needed to leave a little room between them instead of laying across Toni’s lap like he usually did. He laid just close enough to her that she could scratch between his floppy ears and they both drifted off to sleep._

_Shelby heard a soft knock at their front door. She checked through the peep hole, a small smile sliding into place. Claire Keen, Toni’s mother was standing on the other side of the door, biting her thumbnail._

_Shelby pulled the door open quickly, “Ms. Keen, come on in.”_

_“Hey Shelby, I’m sorry. I know you said come next Tuesday, but I just kept worrying and earlier when she texted that you were bringing her home today, well I just thought, maybe I could see her?” Claire looked like a nervous wreck, but she looked clean still. She had gotten clean and stayed clean for years now, but this looked like it was really trying her nerves. "I should have called you first, I just kind of panicked."_

_Shelby pulled her into a big hug, not entirely sure which of the two of them needed it more. Claire reminded her so much of Toni. She was darker, colder, and smaller somehow, but the resemblance was uncanny and Shelby had grown really fond of her mother-in-law over the years. She was so proud of her for how well she was doing and she knew that Toni being hurt, had to bepushing all of the buttons that could trigger a relapse._

_Claire finally relaxed into the hug. She hadn’t known quite what to do with her daughter-in-law--she was loud, southern, white, tall, brazen, and incredibly affectionate, nothing that Claire had ever been. But she could tell from the moment she met her, that Shelby was crazy about her daughter. More importantly, Shelby seemed to care about her, something she hadn’t expected. But on the days that Toni was supposed to call or visit, if anything got in the way, Shelby would go alone to see her, filling her in on their lives, making sure that Claire had everything she needed, helping to rebuild the bridge that Claire had spent Toni’s whole life lighting on fire._

_When they broke their hug they both wiped their eyes, “I’m really glad you’re here. I was just making Toni some soup and a sandwich, would you like some?”_

_Claire nodded, having learned months ago Shelby was so southern if she refused her food she considered it a downright insult. Toni had told her the safest option was just to say yes, or Shelby would keep baking until she found something you couldn’t resist._

_“Can I see her?” Claire asked, her voice small._

_Shelby’s eyes widened, “of course, come on back.” She led her into the master bedroom, chuckling at the sight they walked in to see, Toni and Bosco passed out on the bed, Toni’s hand still resting in between Bosco’s floppy ears._

_Claire let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding, the stress leaving her body. She nodded for Shelby to head back out with her. “I’m sorry, I just needed to see that she was all in one piece.”_

_Shelby smiled a full smile at that, “trust me, Ms. Keen, I understand. Have a seat, I’m going to make actual soup if she’s out, she likes my tomato soup better than the can.”  
  
_Toni carefully hung all of the clean clothes on the lines they had strung up around camp. They had spent a few evenings braiding palm fronds together to form a pretty impressively tough rope. Toni and Martha had plans to sit and make some more, knowing they could potentially make traps or stabilize bigger, sturdier shelters with it, but Toni had something she wanted to do first. After the clothes were all neatly hung, she crossed the camp to whisper in Shelby’s ear.

“Can I carry you off into the woods now?”

Shelby blushed but nodded, yes, immediately. She leaned her make-shift crutches against the back of the driftwood and wrapped her arms around Toni’s shoulders as she squatted down in front of her, having long ago mastered the art of getting an injured Shelby onto her back smoothly.

Fatin shook her head at them from across the camp, rolling her eyes dramatically, “you made her crutches, do you really have to carry her off into the woods to have your way with her? I swear, it’s so medieval.”

Toni held up her middle finger, not bothering to respond, her emotions were still too close to the surface and she didn’t want to snap at her, or even worse, cry in front of everyone. She sat off into the woods, headed straight for that rock she had found Shelby at with Leah and Fatin, not that long ago. Shelby pressed kisses to Toni’s cheek and neck as they walked, knowing this was about so much more than just going to a rock to have sex. She could feel Toni’s heart pounding in her chest.

“ _Toni, Sweetie?” Shelby said, kissing her wife’s temple._

_“Mmmm?” Toni groaned, immediately wondering how long she had been asleep._

_“I got your soup and your sandwich made Love, but also, your mom came to see you.”  
  
Toni opened her eyes, confused. “Wait, really?”_

_Shelby smiled and nodded. “Yeah, she’s in the kitchen now ladling out the soup.” Shelby gestured at the two chairs in the room they had brought in so that Toni wouldn’t have to move. “She was really worried about you, Love.”_

_Toni’s eyes watered, her throat cracked, “my mom is here?”_

_Shelby nodded again, knowing that this was the kind of love from her mom that Toni had only ever dreamed of, the kind where her mom showed up when she was supposed to._

_“Hey, Tonibeth,” her mom said as she came into the room carefully carrying a serving tray. Toni recognized it instantly as one of their wedding gifts that Toni had commented they’d never use when Shelby had put it on their registry._

_“Hey, mom.” Toni said, her voice breaking._

_Claire smiled softly at her, her own emotions threatening to well over. “Here’s your food. Your wife sure can cook. I tasted the soup.” She winked at Shelby._

_Toni’s eyes flashed to Shelby’s a smile creasing in the corners of her eyes, “homemade tomato soup?”_

_Shelby giggled, “of course, only the best for my love.”  
  
Toni awkwardly tried to scoot up in the bed so she'd be sitting up. Shelby looped her arm under Toni’s good shoulder to help shift her. Toni winced, but smiled reassuringly at Shelby, making sure to say thank you._

_Claire sat the tray down gently in Toni’s lap. “Here you go, baby girl.” She shot Shelby a quick glance, “I’ll go grab ours.” You stay with her was implied in the look she sent._

_Shelby nodded, understanding, sinking into the chair nearest Toni, laughing as Toni dunked the corner of her sandwich in the soup, moaning with delight when she took a bite._

_“You even put bacon in it.” Toni sighed happily._

_Shelby rolled her eyes, “of course I put bacon in your grilled cheese sandwich, I know who I’m married to.”  
  
_Toni set Shelby down gently on the rock and immediately started pacing. She had spent so many years only allowing herself to feel rage and anger, she didn’t quite know how to process love and happiness. Shelby watched her pace, a smile gently playing at her lips, in no need to rush Toni to relax, just happy to be able to share the moment with her.

“I really really love you.” Toni said coming to a stop, she nodded then continued pacing.

Shelby giggled, “I really really love you, too.”  
  
Toni took a deep breath, “I know, I’m just trying to get used to it.” She frowned, “I’m sorry. I know that’s ridiculous. You just…” She took another deep breath, “you just said all of the things I needed to hear, I just didn’t know I needed to hear it, then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I was carrying all that shit, and now I’m just overwhelmed with how much I love you.”  
  
Shelby smiled up at her, “you don’t have to be overwhelmed, Love, I’m all yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, I owe you so many smutty chapters to make up for this one. It just would have felt forced to try and put any into this. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading <3
> 
> Let me know what you think! Give me all your thoughts on Claire. I'm dying to know what y'all think!
> 
> Hope everyone has a great start to their weeks,  
> Emily


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I want to thank you all for your patience. I've mentioned being construction adjacent before, but let's just say crews trying to fix Texas after our blizzard has made for a rowdy rowdy week. I can't thank you enough for all your comments and well wishes. You are all truly the best.
> 
> Massive shout out to ThatWickedOzian for listening to me ramble for hours today.
> 
> Second shout out to Steelandstrawberries for your brilliant idea. I thank you.
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy the rest of Toni's birthday,  
> Em

“Come here?” Shelby grinned up at Toni from the rock, her hand outstretched.

Toni nodded, unsure of what to say, feeling embarrassed for how overwhelmed she had gotten by Shelby just showing her love.

Shelby wrapped her arms around Toni’s waist, pulling her in tightly to a hug, pleased that Toni let herself be drawn in. She ran her fingers through Shelby’s hair, sighing contentedly as the blonde rested her head on her chest.

“I really love it when you play with my hair.” Shelby whispered. “It’s like my favorite thing.”

Toni chuckled, finding Shelby’s eyes. “Good to know.”

Shelby grinned at her, “physical touch is one of my love languages.”

“Wait, those are real things?”

Shelby’s eyes widened, “of course. There are five of them. Words of affirmation—that’s one of yours. Quality Time—that’s your other one. Acts of Service—that’s one of mine, Gifts, and Physical Touch—that’s my other one.”

“And you just know mine how?”

Shelby laughed, “well, words of affirmation is pretty easy because of how you react when I say I love you and that I care that you stay alive. Quality time, could be wrong I guess, but because of how often you carry me off into the woods and how much effort you put into our date and how much you like morning snuggles, I think that’s it.”

“And yours are physical touch and acts of service? What does the last one mean?”

“I like to be shown I’m appreciated. Like when you picked all those flowers for me and the fact that you don’t mind carrying me around. And you spent all morning helping me make makeshift crutches. And the cross you put in the little house you built us. For not knowing what they are, you’re surprisingly good at loving me correctly.”  
“Hmmm…” Toni thought about it for a bit, “I don’t think they’re real.... The love languages.”

Shelby laughed, “okay, what do you think is real?”

Toni shrugged, leaning down to kiss her, “that a relationship should be all of those things.”

“You know, for someone with so many rage issues, you’re kind of dreamy.”

Toni laughed, “don’t tell people. I don’t want them to know.”

_“You two have literally not done anything but make out since you came back inside from the limo.” Fatin groaned at Shelby as Toni went to get another shot with Dot._

_Shelby blushed, biting her bottom lip. “I know, I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”_

_Fatin laughed, “I’m just impressed. How long has it been now? Three and a half years?”_

_Shelby nodded, “yeah, that sounds about right.”_

_“And you still look at each other like that and sneak off to fuck in limos?”_

_Shelby eyed Leah, dancing with Rachel and Nora on the dance floor, “I mean…what about you?”_

_Fatin’s eyes widened, “we’re not a thing. We’ve hooked up twice now and the other time was also with Dot.”_

_Shelby shook her head, “okay, but like, why just Leah this time?”_

_Fatin shrugged, “I don’t know she grabbed my hand and led me out there.”_

_“So y’all really aren’t a thing?” She asked, frowning._

_“We’re really not a thing.”_

_“Aren’t y’all in the same hotel room tonight?”_

_Fatin groaned, “yes, mom. And our room backs up to yours so be courteous.”_

_Shelby shook her head no, “y’all should stay in Dot’s room.”_

_“That would be cruel to Martha." Fatin laughed, " Hey, have you ever done any of the things I’ve texted you about?”_

_“What things?” Toni asked, sliding into the booth next to them, pushing a beer to Fatin across the table._

_Shelby blushed._

_“Holy fuck. You have and she doesn’t even know.”  
  
Toni frowned, thoroughly confused, “what are you talking about. You have what?” She looked at Shelby._

_“Fatin sends me horribly inappropriate questions about our sex life, trying to figure out how we do it.” Shelby hid her face with her hands._

_Toni looked from Shelby to Fatin. For some reason she started to get nervous. “What kind of questions?”  
  
Fatin grinned a shit eating grin, “oh you know, do you fuck with strap-ons? Have you tied each other up yet? Food Play? Anal? Fucked in public yet? I don’t know, it’s been two years of solid questions. Obviously, I wasn’t asking them when she was stuck in her self imposed Texas Prison.”_

_A whole lot of things clicked for Toni at once. She had always wondered where, how, and why Shelby would come home with new toys and ideas for things they could try, but she had always been so excited to try everything Shelby had brought home, she hadn’t really thought anything of it. And now, a little buzzed, on her twenty-first birthday, she was finding out that a lot of Shelby’s curiosity stemmed from prying questions Fatin had asked. Toni started to shake with laughter._

_Fatin’s eyes widened, “Toni, for the love of god. Answer any one of the questions. Shelby only ever responds with the face palm emoji.”_

_Toni pulled Shelby’s hands down from her face, laughing again at how embarrassed she looked. She pressed kisses to her cheeks. A conversation passed between them without words. They didn’t need them. It was clear Shelby was embarrassed that Toni had just figured out Fatin’s questions had been the reason she would research different things. Then, based off what she had been interested in, she would bring home new things for them to try. She also looked worried that Toni would care that that’s where some of the ideas had come from._

_Toni laughed again, she shook her head, she didn’t care. She didn’t care where Shelby got her ideas, she didn’t care what made Shelby research everything, she just like reaping the many many benefits of it. Toni did find this all wildly hilarious to realize sitting in front of Fatin._

_“Someone tell me what’s happening?” Fatin said desperately._

_Toni kissed Shelby again, turning her attention back to Fatin, “okay, you said answer any of those questions, I’ve picked one. And yes, yes we did.”_

_“But which one?” Fatin groaned._

_Toni laughed again and stood up from the table, looking at her watch, her smile was plastered to her face. “It is one-fifty-five. I have kept my promise. Can we pleaseeeeee go now?” she asked Shelby, wanting desperately to get back to the hotel to see what Shelby had in store for her for tonight._

_Fatin growled again, “you two, are the worst. But yeah, I’ll get with Rachel to round everyone up. But thanks for lasting until close, I won the bet.” She slid out of the booth._

_“I knew we were the bet this time.” Toni glared at Fatin, “I just couldn’t figure out what y’all were betting on.”_

_“Leave time,” Fatin called over her shoulder as she went to round up all the girls._

_Shelby led Toni outside to wait by the limo. She was still red from embarrassment._

_“So, Fatin gave you some ideas, huh?” Toni teased since they were alone._

_Shelby groaned, launching into her defense, “okay, so when we first moved in together, after being apart for so long, she kept asking how crazy the sex was and what all we’d tried. And then, she just started throwing out things I had never heard of. And then, I did all this research on the stuff she was asking about, and it seemed like stuff that a lot of lesbians did. I was worried that since you had been in a relationship before, even though you’d told me on the island that you did more with me than you ever did previously, I had no way of knowing what that meant. Then I found out you hadn’t done any of that kind of thing before, and that it would be stuff we could do for the first time ever together, and I got really into it.”_

_Toni laughed again, “Babe, it’s okay. I find it hilarious.”_

_“You’re not mad that Fatin impacted our sex life?”_

_“Hell no, I want to high five her.” Toni kissed Shelby sweetly, “Love, I really reaaalllyyy like trying new things with you. Seriously, everything you’ve brought home over the past few years has been amazing or well,” she chuckled, “at the very least, worth trying.”_

_Shelby blushed thinking back over all the stuff she had brought home over the years and what was waiting for them in the hotel room._

_Toni bit her bottom lip, “what’s at the hotel?” her voice had dropped, as she whispered the question into the nape of Shelby’s neck._

_Shelby’s hands bunched in the fabric of Toni’s button down, holding her close to her. “It’s a—“_

_“Ew. Wait until we get back to the hotel.” Rachel called out. The rest of the girls making their way to the limo._

_The guy Marty had been dancing with was walking with her, holding her hand. Toni’s eyes widened when she saw him, her jaw clenched. Shelby could feel all of Toni’s protective instincts tightening through her muscles. Her grip stayed tight on Toni’s shirt, tugging gently, pulling her attention back. The look on Shelby’s face told Toni to let it go. Toni sighed, she knew that Martha was an adult._

_Martha came over to them grinning from ear to ear, “this is Toni, she’s basically my sister. And this is her girlfriend, Shelby. You guys, this is Zach.”_

_Toni nodded coldly to him, very aware of Shelby’s grip on the front of her shirt._

_“Hey, Zach.” Shelby said, her bubbly personality cutting through the tension Toni knew she was creating._

_Zach seemed unfazed by Toni. He grinned at them, “it’s nice to meet y’all.” He pulled Marty into a big hug, “and it was great meeting you.” He kissed her gently on the lips, blushing when most of the unsinkable eight cheered loudly for them. “You have my number.” He said, winking before jogging off to catch up with what appeared to be a group of his friends._

_Toni audibly sighed with relief. She loved Martha like a sister and other than Shelby, she was the only person Toni was protective of. She really didn’t want to think about anyone hurting Martha’s feelings and she knew that if Marty had slept with some guy after knowing him for a few hours and then he never called her, she’d be crushed. And then, Toni would have to kill him. Now if anything ever happened between Marty and this boy, Toni could at least respect that he hadn’t tried to go home with her the first night._

_The girls piled into the limo. Despite there being plenty of room for Shelby to have her own seat, she sat on Toni’s lap, Toni’s arms quickly wrapping around her waist, holding her tight to her._

_“So…” Martha asked, blushing, “how soon is too soon for me to text him?”_

_The whole car cheered with joy. Even Toni joined them._

_“You have to wait three days,” Fatin said._

_Shelby smacked her, “three days? What is the matter with you. If you like him, you should text him.”_

_“I agree.” Nora said. “I’ve never understood the mixed signals thing. I know that I don’t follow when people try and give them to me.”_

_Leah shrugged, “I’m pretty direct as well.”_

_Dot nodded, “just say how you feel. This group, of all people, knows you might not get another chance to say what you’re feeling.”_

_Toni shook her head, “just, say how you’re feeling tomorrow after you're up and we’ve all brunched.”_

_Rachel nodded, “I agree with Shalifoe. It’s a happy medium. It’s not right away, but it’s not three days.” She turned to Fatin, “three days, dude, why?”_

_Fatin shrugged, “it works for me.”_

_“It’s annoying as hell.” Leah said, cringing immediately after. No one caught it but Shelby and Toni. Shelby squeezed Toni’s knee about it, causing Toni to squeak in surprise._

_“Wait until you get in your room.” Fatin practically yelled, teasing the two of them, missing the meaning under Leah's comment herself._

“Say more dreamy things.” Shelby teased, interlocking her fingers behind Toni’s neck and pulling her face down to kiss her.

Toni laughed into the kiss, “More dreamy things.”

Shelby rolled her eyes at her, “and then there’s that.”

Toni giggled, “but you think I’m endearing though, right?”

Shelby laughed, “yes, Toni. I think you’re endearing.”

Toni’s lips crashed into Shelby’s. She had grown so used to being called Love, or sweetie,that Shelby saying her name was incredibly sexy. Her emotions were also running really high from Shelby showing her the exact right kind of love. Shelby moaned on impact, her hands wrapped around Toni’s waist, using her seated position and Toni’s standing to her advantage, fisting the back of her shirt to hold her tighter to her.

_Shelby slammed Toni back against the hotel door the second it closed, ripping her button down shirt open. For half a second, Toni considered complaining, but Shelby tugging her belt off her so hard she heard the leather snap on recoil did something to her that made her not care if every button was ripped from every piece of clothing she owned. She’d buy more, or learn to sew._

_Her pants fell around her ankles in a puddle. She kicked out of her black dress shoes, her hands moving the zipper on Shelby’s skirt, but Shelby stepped back, a playful smile locked in place._

_“But... what?” Toni started to ask, but Shelby pressed a pointer finger to her lips. She pulled the little hotel kitchenette chair out from under the table and spun it around, pushing Toni down into. Toni didn’t protest. She watched in excited anticipation, in nothing but her bra and boxers and dress socks as Shelby turned the overhead lights off and one of the lamps on. Shelby grinned wickedly at Toni as she quickly clicked through her phone selecting a specific song._

_Toni’s mouth went completely dry as Dangerous Woman filled the fancy hotel room. Toni knew Shelby could dance. They had danced several times, in several clubs all over the world, but never had Shelby danced like this. For her. Toni couldn’t take her eyes off of Shelby’s hips, and the way that she rolled them, caused her already almost indecent skirt to rise._

_Shelby straddled Toni in the chair, rolling her hips into her, lifting her own shirt up and off, discarding it on the floor next to them._

_“Stripper rules or?” Toni huffed out, her hands held up like she was under arrest._

_Shelby’s eyes narrowed, “how do you know about stripper rules?”_

_Toni chuckled, “just tv, ma’am.”_

_Shelby grinned at her and winked. “Stripper rules.” She stood and spun around, in time with the song, dropping back into Toni's lap. It was clear she had an actual routine prepared. She reached back and in one pinch unclasped her bra with her back to Toni, letting it fall away. Toni wanted desperately to spin her around and bury her face in her chest, but they had long ago figured out that when Shelby gave a command in a circumstance like this, Toni would obey the order. Shelby had said stripper rules, Toni was not going to touch her until she was told to._

_Shelby ground her ass into Toni’s front, the skirt providing exactly zero barrier. Her grinding pushed Toni’s boxers up higher and higher until she could feel just how wet Shelby was through her panties on her now exposed thigh._

_Shelby stood quickly, unzipping her skirt and letting it fall to the floor at just the right time in the song. Toni swallowed audibly, her eyes drifting down Shelby’s abs, wanting to squeeze her ribs and drag her fingers roughly down her sides, but she refrained, opting instead to clamp her own fingers together behind her back. Shelby pushed Toni’s legs apart, seductively lowering herself down in between them, her hands sliding dangerously high up Toni’s legs, her fingertips sinking under the waistband of Toni’s boxers tugging them off her in one fell swoop._

_Toni gasped as Shelby’s tongue traced up her body from her entrance all the way up to her throat. Toni didn’t even feel her own bra be unhooked, she was just suddenly naked, except for her socks. Shelby’s panties fell to the floor and she took her spot back, straddling Toni’s lap and grinding into her in time with the music. Toni wondered if all of this had happened in three minutes and fifty-five seconds or if Shelby had this song on a loop and Toni had just long ago stopped paying attention. Shelby flipped her ponytail around in a circle, her mouth returning to Toni’s neck, her teeth sinking into her pulse point, eliciting a whimper. She licked it, soothing the sting she knew she caused._

_Toni’s hands, clenched tighter together behind her back. She wanted to carry Shelby to the bed, but she knew better._

_Shelby kissed lower, Toni’s head falling back with pure bliss as Shelby sucked her nipple into her mouth. Toni moaned, her whole body arching into it. Even if she couldn’t touch her, surely her body could still react. The song faded out, Toni’s eyes hazy with need found Shelby’s. “Was that really just one song?” Toni’s voice was hoarse, like she hadn’t had a drink of water in days._

_Shelby giggled, “no, I cut it so it played through in a way that made sense like three times through.”_

_Toni chuckled at that “of course you did.”  
  
Shelby bit her lip, her eyes reading a combination of love and lust on her girlfriends face. “You can touch me now."_

_“Thank fuck.” Toni whispered, her hands immediately_ _sliding up Shelby’s back, pulling her tighter to her. She lifted them up, off the chair with ease, walking them over the the bed and lowering Shelby down onto her back. “You wanted me to fuck you in some sort of way?” She muttered in between kissing all down Shelby’s body._

_That snapped Shelby back into reality, “fuck. Yes. Hang on. I got a thing.”  
  
Toni let out a laugh, remembering the club earlier that night, “did Fatin influence this?” She raised an eyebrow, laughing again when Shelby blushed._

_“I’m going to hit her one day.”_

_Toni laughed again, but leaned down to kiss her, making sure Shelby knew it was all in good fun. She would never laugh **at** her._

_Shelby sighed, “do you want to try it?”_

_Toni grinned, straightening herself back up so that Shelby could get off the bed. “Always, Love. I always want to try it.”  
  
Shelby beamed at her, practically skipping to her pink rolling suitcase, rifling through it and producing something navy blue Toni had never seen before._

_Toni bit her bottom lip, “am I a bad lesbian if I’m not entirely sure what that is?”_

_Shelby blushed, but shook her head no. “It’s a strapless strap on.”_

_Toni nodded, holding out her hand for it, “and you want me to fuck you with it?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Okay…” Toni grinned. It wasn’t rocket science. Toni could figure out the shorter, thicker shaft would go inside her, and then the longer thinner shaft would go in Shelby, but it was Toni’s birthday, and her biggest turn on in the world, was having ShelbyFaith Goodkind explain sexual things to her. “How?”_

_Shelby gently pushed Toni back on the bed, nodding her head for Toni to scoot back against the headboard. Toni quickly got comfy arranging the pillows so she was at an incline, but not quite sitting up. “This part…” Shelby started, taking the toy from Toni’s hands and pointing at the shorter bit, “is going to go in you.”_

_Toni’s legs spread without a second thought. “Okay,” She whispered._

_“And this part, is going in me.”_

_Toni nodded, suddenly nervous. They had had sex with a regular strap on a few times now, but the wearer had always been on top. It was pretty clear to Toni in this moment that toy or no toy, Shelby was about to ride her._

_Shelby dipped the shorter end through Toni’s wetness, “ready?” She asked._

_Toni just nodded._

_“Say it.”  
  
“Go in me.” Toni whispered, spreading her legs farther for this part._

_Shelby slowly and carefully pushed the shorter side into Toni. Knowing that it was firmer and thicker than Toni was used to. She waited, letting her adjust to it, waiting until golden brown eyes found hers again. “Good?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Good, close your legs a bit?”_

_Toni nodded, sliding her legs shut under Shelby so that she could comfortably straddle them. Shelby positioned herself over it, sliding down onto it. The weight of Shelby on the longer side, pushed the shorter side up straight into Toni's g-spot. “Oh fuck.” Toni whispered, her hands drifting to Shelby’s waist, trying to help herself find a rhythm. But Shelby set the pace, and she had picked slow and languid, rolling her hips, lowering her body down onto Toni’s, a thin layer of sweat building between them._

_There was something so intimate under the intense fucking heat and passion about the fact that Shelby was able to kiss her so fully, her arms wrapped completely around Toni, holding her tight as she ground down into her, the way that Toni’s hands clung to her back, the fact that they were both rapidly moving towards orgasm together. Shelby reached down and hit a button on the bottom of the toy, kicking on a vibrator function Toni hadn’t even expected. Toni moaned loudly with delight._

_Shelby licked up Toni’s neck, tasting the salty sweat that was beading on her skin. Sweat that Shelby knew she had caused. Toni’s short clipped nails, dug deep into her back, her moans getting louder, her hips more erratic. Shelby knew Toni was about to come undone under her. Shelby wanted to come with her, so she rocked harder and faster, lifting herself ever so slightly higher off the shaft, and lowering herself the slightest bit deeper._

_Toni pulled her back into a blistering kiss as both of their bodies stared to shake. Shelby gasped into Toni’s mouth, holding her as tight as possible._  
  
“Fuck, I love you.” Toni said, her voice completely broken from overuse.

_Shelby nodded, her forehead coming to rest on Toni’s, both of them completely out of breath. “Happy Birthday, Love.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... worth the wait?? 
> 
> Shout out again to ThatWickedOzian, the next Chapter is pretty much planned out, so hopefully y'all don't have to wait so long. 
> 
> Serious question--as this is a choose your own smutty adventure-- I'm very seriously considering having a few chapters be entirely flash forwards, no island. In my head, the island is "REAL TIME." Anything in italics would be the future. From what I have outlined, I want to take "REAL TIME" up through them being reunited with their families. However, I don't want to spend a lot of time in the bunker because.... boring and/or angsty and that's not what this fic is. This fic is happy fluff and smut. So... thoughts? I guess? About having just a few future only chapters because I have a few ideas that could definitely hold their own chapter?
> 
> Anyways, you know what's up. Send me your thoughts and feelings! If you want to holler at me elsewhere, tumblr: theycallmequeerhat
> 
> Tomorrow is Friday,  
> Emily


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't say sorry enough for how long it took to get y'all a new chapter. Thank you all for your patience, I promise I will try and update more frequently. Things have just been crazy at work and I've been trying to get back in the habit of running and excising, which ew, honestly. lol. 
> 
> As for this, here is a fully flash forward chapter of smut that's completely unconnected to anything else. It's just a fun flash forward, because I love these two and I love their love.
> 
> Shout out to Shell for being a sounding board to my madness all week and for helping come up with this completely hilarious idea. Love you, buddy.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!  
> Em

_Toni sat alone at the bar nursing a drink she didn’t like. Leave it to her to fully commit to the little details Shelby probably wouldn’t even notice. Shelby had been asking for her to play along for a few weeks now, the least she could do was try. She didn’t really like the idea though. She loved Shelby for being Shelby. She didn’t really understand why Shelby wanted to meet her ina bar they had never been in, pretending to be different people so they could “meet for the first time” and have a wild one night affair. Toni didn’t want a wild one night affair. She and Shelby had a phenomenal sex life, they were always trying new things and experimenting, but her girlfriend had asked very shyly at first and then started to assemble a costume, which she wouldn’t show Toni at all, so Toni finally caved, knowing she would do anything in the world to make Shelby happy. So she went to a thrift store and bought an old mechanic’s shirt and was really trying her best to commit, so fully that she was cringing her way through a whiskey neat._

_Shelby entered the dark and dingy bar, her hair was pulled back in a tight bun, her suit was pressed, the 0.00+ glasses she had purchased a week ago were in place. She hoped she looked like a scientist. This would never work if she didn’t look in character. It had taken her long enough to convince Toni to play along, the last thing she needed was to show up looking exactly like herself._

_A woman slid into the seat next to Toni, “hey, baby are you here alone.” Toni cringed, she really hoped that was not Shelby’s opening line._

_She sighed, turning to her, it was not Shelby. It was a tall brunette with dark eyes and dimples grinning at her. “Oh,” Toni looked startled, completely unprepared for this. “I’m sorry, no. I’m not interested. Thank you, though.”_

_The brunette’s grin stayed locked in place, “you sure? You look like you could use a refill.”_

_Toni looked down at the whiskey in her hands, the glass was still definitely half full. “It’s fine, I should take it slow, tonight.”_

_“Big plans tomorrow?”_

_Toni shook her head, she just knew whiskey would give her a hangover like no other if she wasn’t careful. “No, no, just want to actually be productive around the house.”_

_“Wife at home?”_

_Toni blushed, she and Shelby hadn’t been married for long, but yes, there was a wife at home. A wife who should be here at any minute, who Toni really did not want witnessing this given her past experiences with jealous Shelby, she knew it would ruin the whole thing. She wasn’t sure what she should do, break character without Shelby around or just repeatedly avoid this woman’s questions._

_Toni felt someone slide into the seat behind her. Shit. That was she seat she had been unofficially saving for Shelby—or well— Shelby’s character. She spun, piercing green eyes met her own, an eyebrow raised playfully over thin metal glasses. A mischievous grin locked into place._

_Toni forgot how to breathe. Of all the things Shelby had wanted them to try, who knew glasses and an updo would be such a delight. “Hi.” Toni said, her eyes going wide._

_Shelby smirked at her, “and who might you be?”_

_Her accent was gone, or rather replaced, she sounded British. Had she been able to do a British accent this whole time, or had she been practicing, Toni wondered._

_Toni cleared her throat, “I’m Jayson.” She extended her hand, proud of the fact that she hadn’t bothered to use her tub-o’-towels after work, leaving her hands the slightest bit greasy._

_“Jayson?” Shelby repeated, looking a little disappointed. “You sure that’s not like a last name?”_

_Toni shook her head, pointing to the name patch on her recently purchased mechanics uniform. “See, Jayson. Spelled with a y.” Toni wiped her hands uncomfortable on her pants._

_The brunette next to her cleared her throat, the smug smirk gone from her face, “I’m Denise.”_

_Toni smiled softly, wishing her wedding ring was on her finger and not on a chain around her neck. “Sorry, Denise, I’m not interested.”_

_Denise muttered under her breath and stormed off shooting Shelby a dirty look._

_Shelby smiled chuckling under her breath, “not looking tonight, Jayson?” Her fake British accent was mildly terrible, but Toni loved her for trying to mix it up._

_Toni bit her bottom lip, her eyes flashing back up to Shelby’s, “I didn’t say that. I said I wasn’t interested in Denise. You on the other hand… what did you say your name was?”_

_Shelby beamed at her, happy that she was playing along, “I’m Amber Rollins.”_

_“And where might you be from?”_

_“London.”_

_“Can I buy you a drink?”_

_Shelby nodded, “what do you do?”_

_Toni pointed at the patch on the other side of her store bought work shirt. “I work at Dan’s Auto repair.” She raised a few fingers at the bartender who quickly came to help her. “I’ll get another whiskey neat, and she’ll have?” She looked at Shelby._

_“I’ll get a vodka and cranberry.” The bartender nodded, moving away to make their drinks._

_Toni smirked. Shelby got wild when she got drunk on Vodka cranberries, not wild in the sense that she was going to get them kicked out of the bar, wild in that Toni was about to be in for a crazy night of passion. Something about that mix always led Shelby to want to go all night. But Toni wasn’t supposed to know that. So she stifled her grin and went back to Shelby’s silly game. “What do you do, Amber Rollins?” She took a sip of her drink._

_“I’m a marine biologist.”_

_Toni almost spit her drink out, trying not to laugh. “What brings a marine biologist to Minnesota?”_

_Shelby frowned, she hadn’t expected that question. She shrugged, “I’m not here for work, I’m here for pleasure.”_

_Toni felt her cheeks redden. Maybe this was a really good idea after all. “And how’s that going for you so far?”_

_Shelby blushed at that, “well, it’s my first night here, but things look really promising.”_

_“Did you get a hotel in town?”_

_Shelby nodded, “I did, at the omni.”_

_Toni’s eyes widened, “wait, timeout, really?”_

_Shelby frowned at her, her British accent staying firmly in place. “Yes, really. Have you ever stayed there before?”_

_Toni shook her head, “I was born and raised in Minnesota.”_

_Shelby looked a little bummed out. Toni realized she was hoping she would have an elaborate backstory, too. Something as in depth as London._

_Toni downed the entirety of her whiskey. She was going to have to commit. The last thing she wanted to do would be disappoint her wife. “Medusa?” Toni said barely above a whisper._

_Shelby frowned, “what are you talking about?”_

_“I knew it.” Toni said nodding, “play it cool.”_

_Shelby looked genuinely confused, “what on Earth are you talking about?” The southern accent rang out._

_Toni’s eyes widened. “And there it is. Medusa in the flesh. I’ve been tracking you for three years. Peru, Texas, and now Minnesota. They told me it was impossible. So who is it? Which do you work for? MI-6? Russia?”_

_Shelby laughed, “what are you talking about?” her British accent back in place._

_Toni shook her head, “A British marine biologist in Minnesota for pleasure in the middle of winter? I don’t buy it. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.”_

_“And what are you CIA? FBI?” Shelby looked thoroughly amused and Toni was pleased with herself. She was playing along and Shelby was loving it. Clearly, Shelby didn’t care how ridiculous Toni’s antics were as long as she tried. And apparently, a mechanic from Minnesota was not a far enough leap from an electrician from Minnesota, but a spypretending to be a mechanic, while really chasing code name Medusa, was totally fine._

_“Tell me which it is?” Toni continued, flagging the bartender for another round._

_“Tequila shots first, please.” Shelby asked, her terrible British accent on display for the world to hear._

_The bartender set their shots down.They took their shots, quickly sucking on the limes on the rim. Toni was feeling it now. Whiskey and Tequila, what a combo. Shelby turned to her, their legs touching under the bar, she leaned in to whisper in Toni’s ear, “if I told you, I’d have to kill you.”_

_Toni grinned, dropping her voice an octave, “Amber Rollins, I do believe if you wanted me dead, you could have killed me by now.”_

_“So, Jayson, you’re CIA?” she asked raising an eyebrow._

_Toni licked her lips and feigned looking around the bar. She nodded, almost imperceptibly._

_Shelby nodded once as well, “MI-6.”_

_Toni fought back a laugh, they were horrible at this, but Shelby seemed to be enjoying it and that’s all that mattered._

_“Hotel?” Shelby asked, throwing back her third drink._

_Toni just nodded, waiving the bartender back down. She paid for their drinks and followed Shelby out of the bar. She had already called an uber and the next thing Toni knew, Shelby’s tongue was down her throat in the backseat._

_The driver seemed startled, but he wasn’t about to complain. He took them back to the hotel without a question. Shelby tipped him well and gave him a five star review, pulling Toni out of the car before she could even say thank you._

_Shelby slammed Toni up against the wall in the elevator. Toni huffed out a laugh as Shelby roughly kissed down her throat. This was entirely unlike Shelby, but apparently, it was totally fine with Amber Rollins, MI-6 agent under cover as a marine biologist._

_When the elevator dinged, Shelby tugged Toni out of it by her collar. Barely breaking their kisses long enough to get their room key to work. As soon as the door shut, Shelby yanked Toni’s shirt up and over her head. Toni unzipped the business skirt Shelby had opted to wear, letting it fall to the floor, her hands quickly pushing Shelby’s matching suit jacket down off her shoulders._

_Shelby undid the clip in her hair, shaking her head seductively as it fell. She went to remove her glasses, but Toni caught her hand. “I like them,” she said her voice rough and low, just how Shelby liked it._

_Shelby smirked, her fun game had worked. Toni finally had gotten into it, weeks late with a feeble save, but she had gotten into it nonetheless and now they were about to be spies fucking, apparently._

_She tugged Toni’s jeans down, but they got caught on her work boots. Toni never wore them home, or she changed in the car, Shelby wasn’t too sure, but she was always back in vans by the time she go to their house and could easily kick out of them._

_“Shit,” Toni muttered, bending down quickly to unlace her boots. She kicked them off as quickly as she could. As soon as she stood back up, Shelby’s lips were back on hers, pressing her back into the door._

_Toni made quick work of her buttons, revealing the last half of the silk slip she was wearing under her marine biologist outfit. Toni’s hands slid up the side of it, enjoying the soft texture against her calloused palms._

_Shelby’s hands roamed upwards too, one stopping at her breast the cupping Toni’s jaw, tilting her head back gently, exposing her neck, giving her ample room to kiss and bite down._

_“Fuck, Shelby.” Toni moaned, her whole body rocking into her._

_“Who the fuck is Shelby?” Shelby asked, her British accent somehow better when she was out of breath._

_Toni blushed, she hadn’t realized the game was still going. She blinked a few times, not sure how to recover from that. “Sorry.”_

_Shelby smirked, her lips returning to Toni’s neck, her teeth sinking into Toni’s skin. Shelby unhooked Toni’s bra with one hand letting it fall to the floor in their growing clothes pile. Toni spun them around, pushing Shelby back into the door, lifting one of her legs up and wrapping it around her waist, her hands pushing up the silky slip, squeezing her ribs._

_“Fuck, Jayson.’_

_Toni jerked her head back immediately. “Wait.” She blinked a few times. Game or no game, she didn’t ever want Shelby saying someone else’s name under this context. Even if it was a name she was still connected to._

_Shelby looked at her confused, “what’s wrong?” the fake British accent gone. Shelbys eyes searched hers._

_Toni cleared her throat, blushing, embarrassed, wondering what she should do. “Uhhh…No, it’s nothing. I’m being ridiculous.”_

_“No, Sweetie what it is?” Shelby asked, lifting Toni’s chin up with the edge of her finger._

_Toni cleared her throat, she could tell her cheeks were red with heat, she wondered if it was from arousal or embarrassment. “I uhh…” She rubbed the back of her neck, “I didn’t like you saying the name Jayson.”_

_Shelby tilted her head and frowned, “okay? I don’t have to, Love, I was just playing our little game still, I didn’t—“_

_Toni cut her off, “I know, it’s stupid. obviously, Jayson is me, I just,” Toni chuckled, “damn, this is embarrassing.”_

_“Sweetie, it’s me. Tell me.”_

_“I just kind of like that the only name you’ve ever said like that is mine.” She bit her bottom lip._

_Shelby let out a low chuckle, “sometimes, you really are a scorpio.”_

_Toni laughed at that. “I didn’t mean to kill the vibe. That just threw me off.”_

_Shelby grinned mischievously, “sounds to me like you might want to claim your territory a little bit.” She raised an _ _eyebrow seductively._

_Toni’s eyes dropped to Shelby’s neck, suddenly very aware that she still had her wife pinned against the door of the hotel room, with one of her legs already locked in place around her waist. Toni lifted her effortlessly, her mouth finding Shelby’s pulse point easily and sucking deeply, not caring for the first time in a long time if she left a mark or not. She did want to claim her. _

_Toni carried her deeper into the hotel room, her mouth moving up her neck, sucking on her earlobe, humming happily every time Shelby moaned out "Toni", possibly a little excessively to make up for unintentionally stressing her. Toni found the edge of the bed with her knees, laying Shelby back against the soft king sized mattress, letting her own weight settle down on top of her. She pushed the silk slip up, not wanting to remove it, but wanting to trace circles across Shelby’s breasts with her tongue._

_“Yes, Toni,” Shelby agreed as Toni sucked a stiff nipple into her mouth, tracing the tip of it with her teeth._

_Toni pulled Shelby’s thong off her, her hands rough with the lace. Shelby bit her lip in happy anticipation, opening her legs wider for her wife. Shelby’s hips lifted off the bed, meeting Toni’s as she rocked her weight down._

_“Fuck me.” Shelby gasped as their bodes ground hungrily against each other._

_Toni nodded, she loved when Shelby got worked up like this, when her usually calculated commanding sexual presence escaped her and her voice turned almost desperate and definitely needy._

_Toni sank two fingers into her, grinning triumphantly at how wet her wife was, she added a third finger with ease, finding a steady rhythm, her thumb tracing circles around Shelby’s clit._

_Shelby pushed Toni’s shoulders downward, hopefully gently, she wanted her mouth on her more than she could find the words. Toni chuckled, getting the message without Shelby having to steady her breathing enough to ask. Without slowing her thrusts, Toni replaced her thumb with her tongue._

_Shelby cried out with pleasure, her thighs tightening around Toni’s head. Toni felt her whole body tighten underneath her, around her, she sucked deeply on her clit, pushing her wife over the edge, her heart pounding loudly in her chest with each shaky whisper of her name._

_She worked her all the way down until Shelby’s legs fell open releasing their grip on Toni’s head. She didn’t pull out though, she stayed buried deep inside her. She grinned up at Shelby, watching as the blonde adjusted the unfamiliar glasses back into place. “Again?”_

_Shelby laughed, causing herself to clench around Toni’s fingers, “Yes, please.” She whispered, her fingers weaving through Toni’s hair as her tongue traced back through her folds._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this short chapter of smut brings you joy. I'm probably going to start working on a chapter with more plot here in a bit, but if work stays crazy like this, you might be in for some disjointed future smut for a bit. Hope that's okay. 
> 
> Thanks again for your understanding, we'll go back to plots and emotions when I have the brain capacity to write them. 
> 
> Big thanks again to Shell for the fun idea. If you've got a fun idea of your own, drop it in the comments or hit me up on tumblr. 
> 
> Love to you all,   
> Em


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look! There's a small helping of plot with the smut this time. :) 
> 
> I cannot thank you enough for your patience and kindness. I love you all dearly. 
> 
> This whole chapter is also entirely future. We're back to Toni's injury for this one.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading,  
> Em

_“Hey, Sweetie?” Shelby said, knocking on their bedroom door. Toni was asleep again. Her recent injury had left her bedridden for a few days and she was already going stir crazy. Shelby was thankful Fatin had just gotten there, because Toni was getting increasingly irritated that she wasn’t really supposed to be up and moving around. Shelby knew a lot of it was that Toni was in a lot of pain, but refused everything but a high dose of ibuprofen. She knew that was the result of watching her mother struggle with addiction for her entire life, but Shelby wished she would take something stronger, just to let the pain subside for bit. She could see it in her wife’s eyes, but Toni wouldn’t complain about the pain she was in, she would just grump about being stuck in bed._

_Toni mumbled in her sleep, but didn’t wake up. Shelby backed out of the room and padded quietly down the hall. “She’s out cold.” She told Fatin, “come on, let me show you to the guest room and we can let her nap for a bit. I swear that’s the only time she’s not hurting.”_

_Fatin could see the worry in Shelby’s eyes, “still won’t take the happy pills?”_

_Shelby shook her head._

_Fatin chuckled, “she’s missing out. Maybe if I offer to take them with her?”_

_Shelby’s eyes widened, “don’t. You know she won’t think that’s funny.”_

_“God I swear, she’s the funniest person in the world until we make some drug jokes.”_

_Shelby smiled, Toni really was hilarious, “her mom actually came to see her.”_

_“No shit, when?”_

_“The day we got back. It was huge. She’s actually stopped by again since then. She’s really trying.”_

_“Damn, that is huge. Will I get to meet her?” Fatin asked, hopeful._

_“If you want.” Shelby shrugged, “I can invite her over for dinner.”_

_“Please, I would love to embarrass your wife.”_

_Shelby laughed, “be nice, Toni’s a little testy at the moment. She reminds me of when we first met. A lot of anxious rage she doesn’t know what to do with.”_

_Fatin looked around the house, “there aren’t any trees in the house are there? I’d hate for you to get whacked.”_

_Shelby laughed at that, “no, there are no trees in the damn house.” Shelby led Fatin back to the guest room, pausing awkwardly in the doorway, “so, is Leah going to be joining us?”_

_Fatin sighed heavily, “no, I don’t think she will.” She plopped down on the guest bed._

_Shelby was watching her with a raised eyebrow._

_Fatin grinned at her, “I will only exchange information with you. I will not confess all my sins to you for nothing in exchange.” Fatin watched as Shelby thought about it and patted the empty bed next to her._

_Shelby sighed heavily, but took her seat, wanting to know what in the world was going on between Fatin and Leah. “Equal information.” She said pointedly. “And I get to ask first, so your questions have to be on par with mine.”_

_Fatin narrowed her eyes, “deal.”_

_“Okay, here’s what I know about the two of you in the first place. You and Leah first hooked up in Denver, what, five years ago now? But Dot was also there… Then there was Toni’s twenty-first birthday, that was just you and Leah? Then there was my twenty-first birthday when we were in Boston for St. Patrick’s day. Then what? Y’all have just hooked up at every unsinkable eight reunion, and never outside of that?”_

_Fatin bit her bottom lip, “We’ve only hooked up once outside of that.”_

_Shelby, “y’all live like an hour apart—“_

_“One for one, Texas.”_

_Shelby rolled her eyes, “fine.”_

_“What’s the craziest sex you’ve ever had?”_

_Shelby sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. These were not equal questions, but… Shelby thought, maybe for Fatin they were. Shelby would share about her love for Toni with little to no prompting, Fatin would tell you way too many details about her sexcapades with little to no prompting. Sex was sacred to Shelby, love was sacred to Fatin. She took a deep breath, “Define craziest.”_

_Fatin laughed a wicked and excited laugh, “I’m not even sure. Like tell me about a time you broke a headboard kind of sex.”_

_“Toni broke our headboard three weeks ago.” Shelby said before she could stop herself, blushing a deep shade of red._

_Fatin’s mouth fell open. “How? I meant tell me about it, not when.”_

_“Shit. Do not tell her I told you this.”_

_Fatin held up three fingers, “scout’s honor.”_

_Shelby groaned, “She might have been handcuffed to the headboard, and it’s a wooden headboard. She kind of ripped one of the wooden dowels right in half.”_

_Fatin laughed in surprise. “There is so much to unpack with this. She was handcuffed to the bed?”_

_Shelby nodded, yes._

_“And she broke clean through the decorative part of the headboard?”_

_Shelby nodded again._

_“So if I go in there and look, I’ll be able to find it?”_

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, “well, you’ll just see one is missing. We didn’t want to get splinters from our headboard, so the next day she removed the dowel completely. Before you ask, no not sexually, just like with work gloves on and sand paper and I think she had a jigsaw.”_

_Fatin laughed so hard she thought she’d cry, “I love that this just happened. You guys have been together for so long, and you still hump like rabbits. That’s beautiful.”_

_Shelby blushed again, but let out a laugh. Fatin was right, it was kind of beautiful._

_“How often **do** you do it?” Fatin asked._

_“One for one.” Shelby returned._ _“The time you and Leah hooked up without the rest of us, what caused that to happen? Please note, I did not ask for details of the encounter, I’m asking specifically, what were y’all doing and what brought you to hooking up?”_

_Fatin chewed on the inside of her cheek. It was her fault things were so complicated with Leah. Leah had put it all out there and Fatin had baulked. She hadn’t meant to, but she kept thinking about her dad. How he and her mom had this seemingly awesome relationship with awesome kids, and all the sudden they all found out her dad was having countless affairs and one night stands. They were too much alike, her and her dad, and she knew it. The last person in the world Fatin would ever want to hurt was Leah, and that’s exactly what she had done. “Okay, so. Fuck. Okay, look, we weren’t supposed to let feelings get involved, we had agreed years ago we would just hook up at reunions because why not, right? And like if Dot wanted to join, she could, it was going to be chill. But like you said, we live an hour apart, and we do hang out on a semi regular basis. And we started hanging out more and more post that big Paris trip, and like I don’t know, maybe it’s because it was the city of love, or maybe it’s because we’re over twenty-five and all of our internal clocks are screaming, but like, something changed there. And then when we got back we just kept hanging out, but we wouldn’t hook up, because ‘only at reunions,’ right?” Fatin shook her head, “It was a few months ago. We had gone to dinner at that little vegan burger joint she's obsessed with and then back to her place for drinks and I fucking spent the night. Not even hooked up and left, I spent the night, and Shelby.” Fatin locked eyes with Shelby, “we fucked again the next morning, but that’s not even accurate, we like made love or some shit.”_

_“So why didn’t she come with you?”_

_“Because she said she wanted to try for real.”_

_“And you said?”_

_Fatin groaned, “something really mature about not messing up a good thing and killing group vibes and dynamics or some shit.”_

_Even Shelby cringed, “and what did she say to that?”_

_“That I should call her when I grow up.”_

_“So when you called her about Toni?”_

_“She said that she’d come see Toni after I left.”_

_“Fuck.” Shelby said._

_Fatin’s eyes widened, “I love it when you say that word.” She chuckled, “you owe me like five answers from that, by the way.”_

_Shelby giggled, “alright rapid fire, let’s get this over with.”_

_“Have you ever used a strap on?”_

_“Oh my God, do not ever tell Toni about this conversation." Shelby stared at her feet, "Yes.”_

_“Has she used one on you?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Role play?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Fatin genuinely cackled, full on Disney villain laughed, “I’m reserving my last two questions. I will cash them in at another time.”_

_Shelby rolled her eyes but laughed with her. “I’m glad you’re here.”_

_Fatin nodded, “Anything for the two of you, really.”_

_Shelby stood, “okay, I’m going to let Toni know you’ve arrived. I’ll give you the all clear in a second.” Shelby peeked into the room where Toni was resting. Her wife’s golden brown eyes, opened slowly when she heard the door open. Shelby smiled at her softly, her heart still hurt to see her like this, it still felt the same panic from that phone call. “Hey Sweetie,” she said softly, “Fatin’s here.”_

_Toni smiled, perking up a bit, trying to shift herself up in the bed. “Right-on, where’s she at?”_

_“I’m right here, biiiiiiitch.” Fatin said a thousand times louder than either Shelby or Toni had been._

_Shelby laughed, as Fatin dropped into the chair at Toni’s bedside, “I’ll go start dinner while you two catch up.”_

_“Damn, I want a wife who makes me dinner like that.” Fatin said just loud enough for Shelby to hear as she walked down the hall._

_Toni laughed and groaned with it, “how have you been, dude?”_

_“Nope. I’m here for you. Can I see it?” Fatin raised her eyebrows seductively._

_ Toni blushed, sinking into the bed, "you want to see it? It's fucking gross, dude." _

_“Do I want to see it? Fuck yeah. For the past almost decade, I’ve watched you and the missus pass the title of hottest Goodfoe back and forth, I’m betting this ups your sexy and knocks her back down to second.”_

_Toni caved inwards, shy in front of Fatin for possibly the first time ever._

_“What the fuck is your face dude?”  
  
_ _Toni shrugged, trying to keep her eyes from watering, “It’s stupid.”_

_“Your face? A little, but that’s not your fault.”_

_Toni rolled her eyes, “No, the burn. It’s massive and it looks hideous.”_

_Fatin frowned, “what? You know Shelby is not going to be repulsed by it. It’ll scar dude, it’ll be fine.”_

_Toni sighed, “I know. That’s what she said, too.” Toni bit her bottom lip to keep from saying more._

_“None of that shit, let it out. Momma Fatin is here, come on.”_

_Toni laughed, “you’re so weird. I don’t know. I guess I’m just in my head about it. In the past decade, we’ve never gone this long without…”_

_“Fucking?” Fatin supplied for her._

_Toni nodded, “and I know she’s just worried, but she looks at me like I’m helpless and like, honestly, dude, the bedrest thing is killing me. Like I can only walk to go to the bathroom? My legs aren’t broken. I just want to watch tv from th mne couch. And I want my wife to not look at me like I’m breakable.”_

_“Got it. On it.” Fatin said standing and heading towards the door._

_“Wait, Fatin, what?” Toni’s eyes widened. “Come back. I thought I was just venting.”_

_But it was too late, Fatin was heading towards the kitchen where Shelby was busy pulling ingredients out from everywhere. “What the fuck are you doing?” Fatin said, startling Shelby._

_Shelby spun to look at her, “I was going to make Parmesan chicken and Mac and Cheese. It’s one of Toni’s favorites.”_

_Fatin shook her head, “have you fucked her since her injury?”_

_Shelby’s eyes narrowed, “that counts as one of your questions.” She blushed, “but no.” She looked embarrassed about admitting that, “I don’t want to hurt her. She kind of has a broken arm, dislocated shoulder, and you know a burn on her other side.”_

_“So you can’t lick her vagina?”_

_“Fatin, good lord, can you not?”_

_“Your wife is developing a complex and thinks you’ll never want to fuck her again. Please go fix that. I’ll cook dinner.”_

_“You cook now? Since when?”_

_Fatin rolled her eyes, “Fine, I’ll order dinner and take your precious dog into your backyard and wait until our food arrives to come back in.”_

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, “alright fine. Bosco Bear, go outside with Auntie Fatin.”_

_Bosco lifted his head from the arm of the couch and hopped down, going to stand by the back door, his tail hitting the sliding glass door with each wag._

_“Go get her, tiger.” Fatin said with a wink as she slid the door open and stepped outside with Bosco._

_Shelby sighed, nervous for some reason, or maybe just embarrassed that Fatin knew exactly what was about to happen. But that thought made Shelby chuckle, even when they were on the island, Fatin always seemed to know exactly what they were about to do anyways, so what difference did it make really? Shelby walked down the hall and pushed the bedroom door open. Toni looked almost nauseous. “Hey.” Shelby said kind of awkwardly._

_“Hi.” Toni said, “I’m sorry for whatever Fatin told you. I’m sure it was exaggerated for dramatic effect.”_

_Shelby chuckled at that, but shook her head no, “nah, Love. I think it was probably just the right amount of dramatic.” Shelby bit her bottom lip. “You know I’ve wanted to fuck you all week right?”_

_Toni fought a little grin. She loved it when Shelby talked about sex directly. It was an instant turn on. It always had been. She shrugged, wincing at the movement in her shoulder.  
  
Shelby laughed, “that. That right there. That’s why I haven’t. Love, it has nothing to do with not wanting to, I uhhh…” Shelby blushed, “the longer we go with not, the more that I want to, and now I’m convinced I’ll be like a horny teenager and hurt you.”_

_Toni let out a laugh, “I know, babe. I’m fine, I’m just body conscious for the first time in my life and clearly not handling it well. You know, when I had all those rage issues way back in the day that I still see a therapist about, well amongst the ptsd and abandonment issues, and all that,” she laughed, making sure Shelby knew she was discussing it lightheartedly, not seriously, “I just always had the at least I’m hot thing to fall back on.”_

_Shelby moved to the foot of the bed, tugging the covers down, her eyes drifting up Toni’s body. Toni was just in loose boxers she liked to sleep in and a baggy t-shirt. “How many times do I have to tell you? You’re still hot.” Shelby’s accent was thicker than normal, Toni knew immediately she meant it. Shelby’s accent only got that thick when she was drunk or when she was turned on._

_Toni licked her lips, “Probably a million more times before I believe you.”_

_Shelby nodded, “Okay,” Shelby pulled her shirt off, followed by the tight jeans that hugged her hips. She unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor with the rest of her clothing, pushing her panties down to join the rest. She crawled up the bed seductively. “What if I showed you?” She raised an eyebrow, her fingertips sliding up Toni’s thighs._

_“Actions do speak louder than words.” Toni’s voice was raspier than normal, and Shelby loved it._

_She pulled down Toni’s boxers, a little more gently than she normally would have, but still rougher than Toni had expected. Shelby was careful with Toni’s shirt though, making sure to not jar her shoulder or press into the bandaging over her burn, but knowing that she needed to make sure Toni was actually naked. Shelby needed her to know that she didn’t want to just fuck her with her burn covered. She loved every bit of her and honestly, she wanted nothing more than to worship every inch of her._

_As Shelby trailed kisses down Toni’s neck, the brunette tried to rock up into her, but it hurt. Her frustrated groan came out closer to a wince and Shelby stopped moving. Green eyes searching golden brown. “No,” Toni whispered, “don’t stop. It was me, not you.”_

_Shelby nodded, “don’t make me tie your hips still.”_

_Toni’s eyes widened, Shelby had learned all sorts of knots over the years. Toni knew Shelby was joking, but she also knew that she could tie her down in multiple ways if she wanted to._

_Shelby giggled, reading all of Toni’s thoughts in her eyes. “Yes, I could, but Fatin is on our back porch and for some reason, I feel like she’d know and walk in here and witness it. My point was… be still, Love. I’ll take care of you.”_

_Toni huffed out a laugh, but nodded quickly wanting desperately for her wife to continue. Shelby took the hint, her mouth returning to Toni’s collarbone, pressing gentle kisses down her center and across her stomach. Toni focused on keep herself still, knowing that Shelby would in fact take of care of her, her wife's hands pressed her hips down when she started to squirm again, making sure she stayed perfectly still._

_Shelby kissed lower still, knowing that Toni was too wound up to take any teasing. She slid her tongue through her wetness, gasping at just how wet Toni already was for her. Shelby moaned as her tongue lapped up the juices that had started to pool in between her wife’s legs. She slid her arms under the back of Toni’s thighs, her hands moving back to Toni’s hips holding her down to stop her from rocking up to meet her face._

_Toni’s uninjured hand gripped the bedsheets, her moans setting the rhythm her body couldn’t. Shelby released one of her hips, her fingers, joining her tongue, sliding easily into Toni, one, then another, then another, curling up and into her favorite spot. Toni could already feel the rumble threatening to roll through her. She gasped, her grip tightening, wanting desperately to hang on. Shelby’s hand on her hip, slid across her midriff, her whole forearm barring her down, holding her as still as possible, while never stopping her motions._

_Toni felt herself tip over the edge, the pleasure of it rippling through her deliciously. Shelby worked her through it and all the way down, her eyes finding Toni’s, asking an unspoken question. Toni nodded, taking steadying breaths as Shelby started working inside her again, her tongue tracing across her clit._

_Two more orgasms later and Toni relaxed back into the bed, humming happily. She reached for Shelby with her good arm, tugging her gently upwards. Shelby settled herself down next to Toni on the side with the burn, resting her head on Toni’s good shoulder, Toni’s fingers running through her blonde hair, pressing kisses to the top of her head._

_Shelby wiggled tighter to her, resting her head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat start to slow back down._

_“Fuck. That felt good.” Toni said finally when her breathing had returned to normal._

_Shelby giggled, tilting her head up and pressing kisses to Toni’s sharp jaw._

_“I think you’re going to have to sit on my face.” Toni said after a few minutes, her voice serious like she had been trying to figure it out for a while._

_Shelby laughed again, her heart too giddy from getting her wife off multiple times in a row. “I can do that.”_

_Just as she started to move to do just that, her phone started to ring. Fatin’s name flashed across the screen. Shelby frowned, but accepted the call, “you good?”_

_Fatin held back a giggle. “Oh, this is by far the most entertaining night of my life. Claire is a hoot, we thought you might want to put you love making on hold before your food gets too cold though."_

_Shelby paled, her eyes widened._

_“What, Love what’s wrong?” Toni asked, her voice still thick._

_“Thank you, Fatin. We’ll be right out.” Shelby said, her voice full of its old pageant fakeness._

_Toni heard Fatin laugh hysterically in the background. “Babe, why do you look like you’re going to be sick?”_

_“I forgot I invited your mom to dinner. Fatin wanted to meet her and she’s honestly been so lovely over the past few days and I was going to make Parmesan chicken and mac and cheese for you.”_

_Toni blushed, “how long has she been here? Unsupervised with Fatin? Who knew exactly what we were doing?”_

_Shelby shook her head. “I don’t know, but apparently the food has been here long enough to start getting cold.”_

_“Why do I feel like a teenager who just got caught sneaking around having sex? We’re married for fuck’s sake. We’re allowed to have sex.” Toni said, though it was more of a whine._

_Shelby let out a nervous laugh, “this is as bad as the first time my parents came to visit and we played that damn game at Flannery’s.”_

_Toni laughed at that, “nothing will ever be as awkward as that.”_

_Shelby leaned up and kissed her deeply, not trying to start anything just trying to convey all the love that had just gotten cut short. “Okay, let me put all my clothes back on and wash my face and get you dressed.”_

_Toni chuckled again, “okay.” Shelby got up and started tugging her clothes back on. “Hey, Love?”_  
  
“Hmm?” Shelby hummed in response as she slid her jeans back up her legs.

_“You’re still sitting on my face later though, right?” Toni said playfully._

_Shelby grinned at her, “of course, Sweetie. I can be your dessert," she said with a wink._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY. Claire's back. What all do we think Fatin told her? hahaha, I love the possibilities. Let me know what tea you think Fatin spilled. Also, who here wants Fatin to stay until all of the Goodkind's arrive? 
> 
> Also, on a personal note, can I just say, y'all are awesome. I have made legitimate friends from this and it blows my mind. Thank you all so much for making this as fun and rewarding as you do. 
> 
> Hope everyone is having a stellar week,  
> Emily


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday Y'all,
> 
> We're just keeping on keeping on with the rest of the previous chapter. Still all in the future. Still with injured Toni. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!  
> Em

_Shelby followed Toni out onto their back porch. She knew Toni could do, but she also knew how much everything in her body hurt, even the parts that weren't broken were bruised and sore and the last thing Shelby wanted was for Toni to fall or do anything jarring. Toni stepped gingerly and carefully through the house though, and soon she was sliding into a seat on the back deck next to her mother. Her mother who eyed her knowingly._

_Toni shot Fatin a glare. “I see you’ve met Fatin.” Toni said dryly, more than a little nervous about what Fatin and Claire could have talked about while Shelby took care of her._

_Claire smiled at Fatin fondly like they were old friends. “I sure did. She tells your love story better than you do.”_

_Toni blushed, wondering what information Fatin might have shared. Toni had given her mom a really basic overview of her love story with Shelby. In a weird way Toni hadn’t trusted her with it. Toni was still struggling to bond with her mom. The more she let her in, the more it would hurt if she relapsed or disappeared for years again. The other side of that was, if she let her mom in on all the bad things that had happened to her in her life, her mom would feel guilty for not protecting her from those things. If she shared all the good things, her mom would feel guilty for missing out._

_Claire knew about the island and the general overview of what had happened there and basic information on the trial, but Toni hadn’t really given her stories or anecdotes, just that while there she met a girl from Texas named Shelby and fell head over heels with her._

_Toni cleared her throat, “oh yeah? What did she tell you?”_

_Claire giggled, “that you hated her at first and tried to kill her with a tree.”_

_Shelby cracked up, “that might be an exaggeration. She did hit me with a tree though.” Shelby eyed Toni nervously, knowing that she had never fully let her guard down with her mom and she didn't want to cross any unspoken lines. Toni looked pretty relaxed, but Shelby knew to watch for signs of stress. She put her hand on Toni’s thigh under the table and squeezed gently._

_Fatin looked pleased with herself, “I also told her that you would sneak off all the time and have been the grossest example of love I have ever seen. And that you haven’t been able to keep your hands off of each other for the past decade and that you’ve always been loud as hell that none of your behavior this evening is out of character.”_

_Toni’s mouth fell open, “Fatin what in the actual fuck.”_

_Fatin shrugged, “I had to let her in the house, I brought her directly out here, but your place is not sound proof and you two are loud as hell. I think you owe your mother an apology for what she had to hear in the thirty steps it took for me to get her outside.”_

_Shelby was as red as a tomato, “Claire, I am so sorry.”_

_Claire just laughed, “it’s fine really, you’re married. I have no room to complain. Even if you weren’t married, I have no room to scold. I had Toni at seventeen, so I have no room to judge, either.”_

_Toni just looked nauseous, “this is so much worse than Flannery’s.”_

_Claire laughed again, “this is wonderful for me. I missed all these horribly awkward moments.” She smiled, only a hint of sadness now, “it’s nice to finally have a horribly awkward moment with you.”_

_Fatin laughed and lifted her glass of water in the air. “Cheers to that.” They all laughed and clinked their cups of water together._

_Fatin had already set their patio table for dinner, giving everyone water and silverware. As it was early fall, the weather was truly perfect. It looked like she had ordered a little bit of everything off ofthe menu from their favorite Italian restaurant which made Toni extremely happy because that was exactly how she liked to order food and she also happened to be incredibly hungry. She scooped a helping of the fettuccini alfredo onto her plate along with a few breadsticks._

_“So, Fatin,” Claire started, “since you’re better at telling stories than Toni is, would you mind telling me what happened after my daughter beat up Shelby with a tree?”_

_Toni and Shelby laughed, they’d never actually heard anyone else tell their love story. Fatin’s eyes flashed to Toni’s, waiting for her to confirm it was okay. Toni nodded and gestured for Fatin to continue with the story. “Okay, so they were constantly at each others throats. Toni was way hotheaded back then, which to be fair, we had just all almost died and we were all kind of on edge, but also… your daughter is a pee thrower.”_

_“Wait. You’ve thrown your pee?” Claire asked._

_“Fatin, please continue with the story. The pee throwing was from before the island and isn’t pertinent, ever.” Toni groaned._

_Fatin rolled her eyes, “okay, fine. So, then. Everyone but Shelby ate some mussels that Rachel caught.”_

_“I’m allergic.” Shelby added._

_“And Shelby revealed that the way Toni was eating the mussels made her uncomfortable, but she said it in a homophobic way, not in an I’d like you to do that to me, kind of way.”_

_“Fatin, I will hit **you** with a tree,” Shelby glared at her across the table._

_“You guys are no fun, but anyways, they were bad—the mussels— we all got sick. But Toni had eaten like fifty of them, so when I say she got sick, I mean she could have died.”_

_Claire looked at Toni for confirmation. Toni just bit her bottom lip and nodded._

_“Then, Leah came back with the medicine bag, which makes much more sense now that we know we were human guinea pigs, but yeah, she came back with the medicine bag and Shelby was like take the pill. And Toni was like I won’t take anything from a homophobe. So to prove that Shelby wasn’t a homophobe, she straddled her and forced a pill down Toni’s throat in the kinkiest way humanly possible.”_

_Shelby actually laughed at that. “It might have been excessive.”_

_“Might?” Toni giggled._

_Fatin cleared her throat, continuing, “After that, they toned down their blatant dislike of each other. But weren’t exactly friends, just like stopped actively trying to kill each other. Then Leah lost her shit.”_

_Shelby’s eyes widened, “I forgot she accused me of being a spy.”_

_Toni laughed, “how could you forget that? That was wild.”_

_“The whole thing was wild.” Shelby countered, “plus it was like ten years ago.”_

_“Yeah, so then, Shelby was like I’m not a spy I don’t have teeth and then ran away.”_

_“You don’t have teeth?” Claire asked, incredibly confused._

_“My canine teeth aren’t real.” Shelby said running the tip of her tongue over the point of one of her dentures._

_“Well later that day, Toni went to ‘collect firewood’ aka, check on Shelby. And when she found her…” Fatin gestured wildly for Shelby or Toni to pick up this part of the story._

_Toni huffed out a laugh, “we kind of argued for a bit and then she kissed me.”_

_“And then I quickly ran away. Actually ran.” Shelby said blushing._

_“And then, I guess next was when we all got drunk and Shelby hacked off a quarter of her hair and out crazied Leah. And a few days after that, we were all starving to death and Shelby and Toni and Martha went off to try and find food.”_

_“Oh, I love Marty.” Claire said kindly, before smiling at Fatin to continue._

_“Then they came back with clear, we just hooked up in the woods vibes after Marty had returned hours before after single handedly killing a goat.”_

_Shelby smiled, “Then Fatin kindly suggested I go and talk to Toni about my feelings.”_

_“God, you were so in your feelings the next day.” Fatin said with a laugh._

_“Um, duh. I had just lost my virginity and Toni was like up on a cliff sun tanning with not a care in the world.”_

_Toni laughed, “I was trying to give you room to process.”_

_Claire tilted her head sideways, at Toni, “so that’s not when you lost yours?”_

_“Whoop, there it is.” Fatin said, trying to hold back her laughter._

_Toni blushed, “no ma’am. I had a girlfriend the year before the plane crash.”_

_Sometimes it still surprised Shelby how little Claire knew about Toni’s life. It made her heart ache for her wife, but it also made her ache for Claire. Shelby squeezed Toni’s thigh under the table, knowing that these seemingly little moments and little confessions and glimpses of Toni’s life were huge, everything that Toni shared was meaningful to both of them. The fact that Claire had never pried or begged for information had always been something Shelby had respected about her, but seeing how she devoured every little thing given made Shelby realize how much restraint she must have shown over the past few years to not ask for it._

_Fatin continued to tell their love story and Claire soaked it all in. Finally, Fatin caught her up with reality, “—and now they have very graphically traumatized you and me.”_

_“And they all lived happily ever after.” Claire said happily._

_“Definitely.” Toni said with a grin. Toni yawned involuntarily, sneaking a glance at her watch. It had gotten late, but she hadn’t wanted to cut Fatin short at all. She had genuinely enjoyed watching her mom learn all about her life for real for the first time ever._

_“Well,” Claire said, starting to gather her things, “I can’t thank you girls enough for tonight. Fatin, from now on, I will just call you if I need information. I better head home. I’ve got work in the morning.” She said with a smile, knowing that that simple truth would make Toni happy._

_Fatin beamed, “I would love that.”_

_Shelby stood up with Claire, “I’ll walk you out.” Shelby leaned down and kissed Toni on the top of her head, squeezing her good shoulder before walking with Claire towards the front door._

_Claire stoppedjust before they reached the entrance, “Shelby, I can’t thank you enough for inviting me over tonight. Awkward beginning aside,” Claire teased, “I can’t tell you how much it means to me that Toni’s starting to let me into her life. I know,” she sighed, “I don’t deserve it, but I’ve known she’s believed in me all these years, she’s just kept me at a distance for her own safety. I learned more about my own kid tonight than I have in all her twenty-six years combined.” Claire’s eyes watered._

_Shelby wrapped her arms around her in a crushing hug, “she loves you. We both do, Claire. I’m glad you came over and I’m glad Fatin does what Fatin does best.”_

_“Tell stories?” Claire asked when they broke their hug._

_Shelby laughed, “no, Fatin has just always been exactly the push we’ve needed.”_

_“She seems like she’s a wonderful person and friend.”_

_Shelby nodded, “we fought over which bridal party she’d be in. It’s possibly the biggest fight we’ve gotten into as a couple.”_

_Claire laughed at that, “thank you, Shelby. For everything, truly.”_

_“You’re more than welcome, Claire. You’re still coming for dinner early next week, right? To meet my parents?” Shelby asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She was more than a little nervous about them finally meeting, but she was also incredibly excited._

_Claire smiled, immediately looking as nervous as Shelby felt. “I am, I wouldn’t miss it.”_

_Shelby nodded, “okay. And you’ll text us when you get in safe tonight?”_

_Claire laughed, “yes, I’ll text you when I make it.”_

_Shelby watched her mother-in-law until she pulled out of the driveway before she stepped into the backyard to hear Fatin teasing Toni, “dude, your mom’s face when she registered what was going on. I tried to get her out of the house as possible, I swear.”_

_“Ugh, how long was she here before you called Shelby?”_

_Fatin laughed, “just like ten maybe fifteen minutes. Don’t worry, I told her it was necessary.”_

_“Oh my god. I’m mortified.”_

_Shelby laughed, pulling Toni’s chair back with her still in it. “Don’t be, your mom had a great evening. All thanks to Fatin.”_

_Fatin bowed, graciously. “It is my pleasure to inform and entertain.”_

_“Well, can it also be your pleasure to put away the leftovers, while we go finish what was interrupted?” Shelby said, grinning mischievously._

_Toni and Fatin’s mouths fell open simultaneously. “Oh my God, Shelby Faith Goodfoe, did you just imply what I think you just implied?” Fatin said._

_Shelby winked, “what? I wasn’t done with her yet.” She shrugged, enjoying the look of surprise on Toni’s face._

_Toni wasn’t going to complain, she got up as quickly as her injuries and soreness would allow._

_Fatin looked at their dog, sprawled out on their deck. “Well Bosco, it’s just the two of us again.” She said dramatically._

_“It wouldn’t be if you made the phone call you know you need to make.” Shelby said pointedly before sliding their backdoor closed behind her._

_Fatin groaned, “ugh, Bosco, why does she have to be right?”_

_The dog lifted his head, his tail wagging. Fatin sat down on the porch next to him and rubbed behind his floppy ears. “You want to keep me company while I bare my soul?”_

_Bosco lifted up enough to lick her cheek before settling back down._

_“Now I see why you’re Toni’s phone background instead of her wife.” Fatin said, loving pressing kisses to the top of Bosco’s head before pulling her phone out of her pocket._

_Shelby followed Toni down the hallway to their bedroom, “your mom had a great time.”_

_Toni let out a laugh, “yeah, she really seemed to, despite being scarred for life.”_

_“Well,” Shelby started, shutting the bedroom door behind them, “let’s hope she doesn’t have to come back for anything tonight.” She pulled her own shirt off and dropped it unceremoniously to the floor next to her, moving to help Toni with the short sleeved button down they had gotten her in. Shelby was careful with the cast as she weaved the shirt around it. She smiled, looking where Toni had let her sign it on the first day she had it. Shelby had written ‘Shelby Goodfoe’ and put a heart around it like they were back in middle school. She laughed when she saw Fatin had signed it already, ‘Fatin’s Bitch.’_

_Toni giggled, “she wanted to draw a dick but I drew the line.”_

_“I’m glad.” Shelby said, unbuttoning Toni’s jeans and helping her step out of them._

_“You seem like a woman on a mission.” Toni said her voice immediately thicker._

_Shelby nodded, “you suggested I sit on your face and then we got interrupted. I’m uncomfortably wet.”_

_Toni reached around Shelby with her good arm and unhooked her bra, grinning as it slid down Shelby’s shoulders. “Fatin’s right though.”_

_“About what?” Shelby asked pulling the last scraps of fabric off their bodies._

_“It’s kind of cool how much we still want each other.”_

_Shelby bit her bottom lip, her eyes flashing down Toni’s body. “Sweetie, you have no idea.”_

_Toni grinned, backing up until her knees hit the edge of the bed. She carefully sat down and wiggled up so that she was just a little lower than normal, laying back, watching Shelby._

_Shelby turned out the overhead lights, but turned on the little lamp on her bedside table before getting into position over Toni’s face. Normally, she would have have laid next to Toni and let them both get all worked up first, maybe even gotten Toni off again for good measure, but she was so wet from going a few days without, that she could feel herself dripping. She gripped their headboard for support before lowering herself down, knowing that Toni was limited in ways she could help._

_Toni’s tongue stroked upwards, slicing through Shelby’s swollen lips. Toni moaned on contact, “holy fuck, Babe. You weren’t kidding.” Her tongue traced lower, following the path of juices that lead down Shelby’s upper inner thigh, not wanting to miss a drop, back tracking her way to the source._

_Shelby rocked down onto Toni’s tongue, white-knuckling the headboard as she lowered herself. Shelby moaned out Toni’s name as her wife pressed into her as deeply as her tongue would allow, tracing out and up, across her clit. Toni reached up with her good hand, squeezing Shelby’s ass, gipping her hip and thigh, snaking it around her to press two fingers into her while her tongue flicked deliciously back and forth across her clit. Shelby’s hips started to stutter, her cries of pleasure becoming a tangled mess of swears and prayers._

_Toni felt her tighten and pulse around her fingers, she sucked on her clit, her fingers curling upwards, pushing her through it, knowing she’d want more. Toni added a finger, not slowing at all, urging her wife to continue. Shelby did, rougher this time, slightly worried she’d break Toni’s nose with how hard she was grinding against her face. The whole bed had to have shifted from their movements, because there was a steady thudding of headboard against wall, Shelby’s grip never relaxing on the decorative dowels._

_Toni felt the pressure build up through Shelbys body, starting with the clenching of her thighs to either side of her face. She flattened her tongue against her wife, giving her as much surface coverage as possible, feeling how tightly her body was clenching. Toni fought the grin that was threatening to spread across her face. Shelby was about to squirt. She had learned the signs of it years ago, and it was Toni’s favorite thing in the world. Shelby’s breathy moans were getting higher and higher pitched, her grinding was losing its pattern completely, her insides were flexing against Toni’s curling fingers. “Fuck, Toni, I’m gonna—“ She didn’t even finish, her thick juices, spilling around Toni’s fingers, coating her chin and neck._

_Shelby stuttered to a stop, leaning forward against the headboard, trying to catch her breath. Toni slipped her fingers out of her, wiping her fingers on the sheets, before rubbing along Shelby’s thigh, trying to reassure her. A decade later and her wife still got a little self-conscious about squirting, despite it happening like once a month. “Feel better?” Toni asked, her voice thick. She looked up at her wife from between her knees._

_Shelby nodded, blushing furiously. “Yes, despite trying to drown you.”_

_Toni laughed, “I love it when you try to drown me like that, though.”_

_Shelby carefully got off of Toni’s face, moving quickly to the bathroom to grab a towel for her. Moving back to wet a wash cloth, “here.” She said, her face and chest still flushed red._

_Toni giggled and wiped her face and neck clean, “come here.” Toni said holding her arm out for her wife to come cuddle up next to her._

_“Why does that always make me so fricking self-conscious?” Shelby asked, burying her face in her wife’s neck._

_Toni pressed a kiss to her forehead, “I don’t know, but you know I love it, and you.”_

_Shelby grinned at her, “yeah, I know.”_

_“Good.” Toni said, kissing her gently. “I’m pretty tired of this dislocated shoulder. I don’t want to be done with you, yet.”_

_Shelby chuckled, “We’ll just have to get creative over the next couple of weeks.”_

_“Thank you for being so wonderful, Love.” Toni said, her voice soft._

_“What do you mean?” Shelby looked up at her._

_Toni shrugged her good arm, “I mean, this is a lot. My arm and my fucking torso, being mangled, and you’re just really fucking wonderful. And I’m really thankful and grateful and I love you.”_

_Shelby propped herself up on her elbow, tucking Toni’s hair back behind her ears, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “I love you. Forever and always, Sweetie.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fatin, Dave, and Claire walk into a room.... 
> 
> I cannot wait to write it. Just gotta get us there. :)
> 
> Let me know what y'all think! 
> 
> Sending all my good vibes out into the world for all of you. Thank you so much for reading.  
> -Emily


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